Lizzie

@doge thanks so much! 20 lbs is not worth my soul. I will stick with diet and exercise this time.

Hi QA fam!! I was on here a few years back, but sadly, after 3 years of hard recovery, I decided that I wanted to dance with the devil once more. I went back on 10 mg for 2.5 years and sure enough, my life began unraveling. My relationship with my husband became distant. I wasn’t sleeping well. My friends began to distance themselves from me. My days were filled with chaos. I was angry and anxious all the time. I lost the 20 lbs that inspired me to return to the meds but after a few years I had gained it all back and then some. I knew it wasn’t the answer but I was caught in the trap and wasn’t sure if I would ever have the strength to return to my unmedicated authentic self. Then a miracle happened. I got pregnant. Something I didn’t think my body was capable of. I went off the following day and haven’t been back. Next week I will be celebrating my sons 1 year birthday. My first recovery was my “woe is me” recovery. I blamed everything on my lack of medicine. I focused on what I “couldn’t” do. This go around it has been different. It has been empowering. My relationships are blooming. My husband and I are stronger than ever. I wake up happy. I am a great mother. For the first time ever, I am proud of myself. I was put on amphetamines as a teen. Now at 38 I have finally met myself as an adult. This is the best version of myself, I’m never letting go of it.

I love this! I'm almost at 5 months. Nice to hear there's some light at the end of the tunnel! Great job Nicole! You should feel very proud of yourself!

I needed to read this today! Its been 3.5 months and since I quit and I haven't been able to get back some of the things I use to love. Ive also gained 10 lbs which isn't helping with the depression. Anyway... thanks for the post. It's important that I remind myself this is temporary.

Why not tell her both? It's refreshing finally being able to be honest with doctors now that I'm clean and not hiding anything. Also, I feel like doctors need to know what this medication can do to people. Mine was shocked when I told her about the manic episodes and anxiety. Previously, I just said whatever I had to for her to write the rx.

I was encouraged by this story. I come here to read about people changing for the better after quitting. Do yourself a favor and get rid of the pills asap. It's a big step in the process.

North Carolina

This inspires me! Thanks so much for this post. I'm entering 3 months now. Hearing stories from other people dealing with the same thing really help. Congrats on one year!

Mer, I literally have the same story. im the same age too. I remember feeling really scared when I decided I needed to quit. It all got better once I ripped the band aid off. I'm 2 months now and I'm in love with my new self! No more anxiety, no more mood swings. My husband and I have never been happier. All in all I'm just more enjoyable to be around. It has been the best decision of my life. I know you can do it!

I just spoke with Nirma on the phone! It felt nice telling my story to someone who cares. I suggest others do the same! This documentary could really help people!

It isn't easy, I get it. My plan was to go off and be 100% in a month. I realize now, it won't just come to me. I have to work for it. Try walking first thing in the morning for an hour. Listen to some good music or a podcast. Take your dog ( if you have one. ) I've started doing this everyday and have seen significant improvements in my mood & motivation. It's also helped me shed a few of the lbs I gained. Get on a strict diet. I just started the ketogenic diet, but there are plenty of options available. I found a trick that helps me to get shit done. Everyday I list the things I did that were productive as I finish them. Yesterday, I had the day off. I listed- 1- walked dog 1 hour 2- made a healthy breakfast 3- watered garden 4- read for 20 minutes 5- finished resume 6- went to store 7- ran 1 mile 8- made & ate healthy dinner 9- Unloaded and loaded dishwasher Anyway, you get the point. This really helps me. I use one sheet of paper for the whole week. I can see on my bad days, the list is much shorter. This reminds me that I can get better, but I have to work for it. I have to do things even if I don't feel like it. The less time I have to sit around and think the better.

Life is so much better as a "normal" person! Stay strong, keep your recovery process as positive as possible. No going back! Your not alone. Congrats!

It is a slow but incredibly rewarding process. My favorite part has been rediscovering my personality that had been concealed by pills for 15 years. Go easy on yourself, lots of Netflix and chill time!! You will love life so much more. Hang in there & congrats!

What you need at this point is an addiction specialist. Psychiatrists just want to prescribe without getting to the root of the problem. You got this! Keep us updated on your recovery.

Great job! Welcome to your new life! Rest as much as you can the first few week & don't be hard on yourself. It's a long journey, but it gets a little better each day. It's the most rewarding thing I've ever done. Most people go through life not figuring out who they really are & what makes them happy. You will not be one of those people anymore! Good for you!