Cassie

I laughed at one of the article comments: "Speed your mother can take."

Hiking and canoeing in northern AZ

Welcome. Amphetamines definitely turn you into a shell of a person. For me, it was like like a third person always looking in and directing my thoughts and actions, never fully inhabiting myself. Do you have a plan to quit? Also, out of curiosity, why do you use the term 'dependence' rather than 'addiction?'

Thanks AlwaysAwesome! You've come a long way. On this topic, I'm always annoyed when people say: 1. You'll feel recovered after x amount of time (where x is not that long, i.e. 30, 60, 90 days, 6 mos, 1 year). Physically maybe, but it took me years to feel really good again mentally. 2. You'll feel a little better each day. WRONG. Recovery is NOT a linear process and you'll have major ups and downs. Only looking back over a long period of time will you see the general upward trajectory. I keep it real because people relapse when their expectations don't match their reality. I only succeeded when I lowered my expectations of recovery time. I believe Mike,this site's founder, said it best: "Recovery is a multi-year process."

For fast cheap food I like El Pollo Loco better than Chipotle. A lot of their bowls and salads are under 500 calories (and filling), while Chipotle is a calorie bomb.

Now that I've been sober for 3.5 years, I realize that the one year mark was still pretty early recovery for me. Definitely took 2+ years to feel 'totally recovered.' I'm starting to feel a lot more motivation returning this year which is really exciting! So yeah, this is par for the course, and your mental and physical state will continue to get better. Read up about PAWS (post acute withdrawal). This should give you some more perspective about why it takes a long time to recover. Ps. Don't compare your progress to people you don't know who post a success story at one point in time. Someone who has a lot of energy one day might be feeling shitty and battling cravings another day, you know?

Just wanted to add: if you read my original post on this site from 4 years ago (search for the two month itch) you'll notice that I use the words Adderall and Vyvanse interchangeably throughout the story. What does that tell you?

Started watching Sense8. Pretty compelling show, even though you don't really know what's going on most of the time. Beautiful filming.

Ditto to what Greg said. If you were addicted to one, you'll be addicted to the other. They are both schedule II amphetamines. Don't fool yourself. Ps. This is a repeat of the 50s and 60s, when amphetamines and methamphetamines were prescribed for weight loss. They were banned of course, and now Shire is sneaking them back in..

Read some of the relapse stories on this site. No one ever said "I'm so glad I went back on adderall. I'm not addicted anymore." It's normal to have cravings. A year is not that long. Give it another year, then another. Your brain will let go - it takes time and distance. I went to some Smart recovery meeting when I had bad cravings st 18 mos. I needed to remind myself that I was an addict. I'm still on this site 3.5 years later so I don't forget and do something I'd regret. As for your other habits, maybe just tackle one at a time, if you want to quit. Again - one year sober from a drug is not that long. Remember this.

Paradoxically, my focus and energy skyrocketed when I cut out caffeine. Been off adderall 3 years. Also, meditation every day for 10 mins. Drugs aren't meant to be long term solutions, and adderall will definitely make your depression worse over time.

I took adderall for one year, then vyvanse for four. Same drug, only stronger and longer lasting.

Yes, same abuse potential. Don't do it.

Canoeing

Monsoon #2

Monsoon

Yeah, if it's addictive, it means it gets you high - in the beginning anyway. Once you're addicted, you're taking the drugs just to feel normal. Amphetamines make everyone feel good, more energetic, focused, and confident. It doesn't matter if you have ADD or not. I believe Straterra is the non-stimulant add drug option.

You can get addicted to all of them, if that's what you're asking. They are all classified as Schedule II drugs, which means they have high addictive potential.

The Birthday Boys

Welcome! You came to the right place, and your husband reminds me of mine. Tough love from my husband was extremely helpful in my recovery. Did you cut yourself off from your doctor/supplier as well? If not, will you be able to resist a refill when you are lazy and unmotivated at work, and Dylan is not around to object?

This is another good exercise, a good counterstretch to the one I explained: http://www.breakfreefrombackpain.com/?p=145

I think some of it has to do with getting older too. As you age, you tend to get more cautious and less risk averse. I'm afraid of becoming boring.

Another 115 degree day.

I forgot to mention, if you turn your palms up while standing, it makes it easier to roll the shoulders doen the back.

You're so welcome! I've come to believe that the all-day-long downward shoulder stretch is the key to alleviating this type of daily neck/shoulder pain. In fact, when I get into the habit of doing that stretch every time I'm standing or walking, I start to crave it. It goes from feeling strange to feeling normal, like that's the position my shoulder blades want to be in. You've got to retrain your posture from hunched over to lengthening. I meditate often, and when I sit cross-legged on the floor, instead of placing my hands on my knees, I now tuck my hands underneath my thighs (while sitting up straight), simply because I crave the shoulder lengthening stretch it provides. I struggle with stomach sleeping as well, and it also takes time, but you can slowly train yourself to sleep on your back or side. The problem I have is that now I've trained myself to fall asleep on my back, but I wake up on my stomach. Not sure what to do about that