Cassie

As soon as I got my own prescription it went from recreational use to a daily habit. I realized I was addicted after a year and a half of daily use.

http://www.addictscience.com/ I stumbled upon this website that has great articles about addiction and the addict experience, probably the best I've ever come across (written by a former addict). The writer explains addicts and addict behavior very simply and eloquently. For example, the difference between an addict and casual user is that an addict uses drugs for medicine, while a casual user uses drugs for fun. So true. Another line I really liked: One of the hallmarks of addiction is "continuous failure at internal deal-making." from this article: http://www.addictscience.com/relying-on-willpower/

This is normal. For me, the first month wasn't that bad. Months 2-4 were the worst in terms of depression and 'hitting the wall'. Understand that recovery is a long slow process that you don't have much control over. Realize that 30 days is a very short time to be off of any drug. In fact, expect the whole first year sober to be pretty depressing and don't try frustratingly to change it. You'll feel normal again in time. Best advice I have is to distract yourself as much as possible (with tv, weekend trips or any entertainment) so that the days go faster and you accumulate more clean time. And, cultivate patience.

I wish you the best of luck with quitting. The first four months were the worst for me, then it started gradually getting a little easier. If your husband is going to continue taking it so he can work, can't he keep the pills at work? That way they won't be in your house. And if it gets over adderall in a day or two, why does he need it to work? If he's telling you to 'cowboy up', why can't he? Call him out on this bullshit.

Sounds like you need to make the decision to never go to that doctor again if you want to quit. I told my doctor I was addicted to adderall and I was quitting and she still offered it to me (even suggested that I was 'dependent' not 'addicted', I shit you not). I think some doctors just don't want to believe they could be the cause of someone's addiction and they don't want to lose a consistent patient/cash flow, so in that case it's up to the patient to cut the cord. You can't trust the medical community to help you quit a pill they put on a pedestal.

This is just my experience but what planted the seed in my mind to quit was a respected friend asking me the following questions (on several occassions): - Do you still take adderall? - What does it do for you? - Why do you feel you need it? - Are you on it right now? (Whether I said yes or no she nodded and said, "I can tell") My fiance's comments never helped because he was too close to the situation - his comments were too situation specific and I always got defensive. My friend's questions/comments were neutral and invited self reflection.

I was extremely bored my first year sober. Existential boredom=normal side effect of quitting adderall. I'm impressed that you've gotten back into your hobbies so quickly. Congrats.

You have to wait until emotionally you know you should quit. We don't make life decisions based on logic alone. We aren't rational creatures. This is a decision of the heart - you must know in your heart you should quit if you are to succeed. Unfortunately, that's not a feeling you can manufacture.Everyone is welcome here for support.

Sounds like you're doing good for 18 months. 5 years is a long time to use speed and it's a slow process to rehabituate yourself to reality. I felt much better after 2.5 years sober compared to 1.5 years. You're also not 20 years old so be patient with your brain/body and it will reward you in time.

Yeah, sounds like a real moron. What is your diet like? I always thought i ate healthy but a few weeks ago i started eating a TON more fruits and vegetables (like 9-10 servings a day) and I have so much more energy. I eat oatmeal with fruit and nuts for breakfast, fruit and a hardboiled egg for a snack, a giant kale salad for lunch, more veggies as a snack, and leftovers for dinner. I cut out all the bread and flour tortillas I used to eat and mostly stick to oatmeal, barley, brown rice and corn tortillas for my grains.

Got a great job offer!

You should read The Last Psychiatrist blog. He talks about how the drs are just guessing (it's not like they're measuring your brain chemical levels) and he talks about how he can guess a patient's psychiatrist at his hospital by the medication they prescribe. They all have their favorites. Guess you got the Depakote guy. A psychiatrist's job is to prescribe drugs. You don't have to take them. At 19 months I was still feeling the residual effects of my adderall use. It went away. And your brain regenerates neurons all the time. It's called neurogenesis. You're not born with all the neurons you'll ever have.

You need more of a plan to quit. Whenever I tried to quit by flushing pills or ripping up prescriptions in a dramatic fashion, I always relapsed. I planned my final quit for months. I chose to quit on a Thursday in December. I went out of town that Fri-Sun, worked Mon-Wed, and then had 10 days off (used vacation days around xmas and new years). When I got back to work, work was slow for the next couple weeks because it was still winter break (worked at a school). In addition to December being a slow work month, it's also the best weather in Phoenix, so I knew I would be able to hike and walk outside for exercise for a good 5 months until it got hot. I also told my doctor 6 months in advance that she should begin prescribing me less and less dosages because I was stopping for good in December. Your instinct may be to do something drastic but a well thought out plan is what will lead to long term success. You also need to accept that recovery is a long, slow process and that you are going to feel tired, depressed, unmotivated, and bored for many months, if not longer.

Awesome job interview!

My Mon-Fri. diet lately has been: Breakfast: oatmeal or cereal with sliced almonds and banana Snack: fruit Lunch: big kale salad with veggies and edamame/hardboiled egg/sardines/some other proteins Snack: carrot sticks Dinner: whatever I want (usually leftovers from stuff i cooked over the weekend.) I feel great during the day and it makes me excited for dinner!

I believe adderall is only sold in us and canada. Dexedrine in Australia. I think ritalin in used in more countries but only for extreme cases

Amphetamines are illegal in most countries. I think the US, Canada, Australia, and maybe a few European countries are the only places they are allowed for a medical purpose. Aside from the US the other countries probably are picky about prescribing them. America has 5% of the world's population but consumes 80% of the world's illegal drugs. For adderall the percentage has got to be even higher.

Agree with the first part but changing your life isn't going to lead to any sort of deep happiness, nor is it practical advice for an early quitter. Happiness comes from having a positive attitude/optimism and resilience to hardship/tragedy. Happiness doesn't have much to do with what happens to you. It's all relative to who you are perceiving as 'happier' and 'successful' than you. There are millions of happy people who are poor, have shitty jobs and have gone through horrible tragedies...yet they are still happy. You don't have anywhere near that level of resilience and insight in the beginning of quitting adderall - at least I didn't. I was frail and fragile, and slapping a superficial label on my shitty feelings was a good coping mechanism because it was an answer simple enough for my mushy brain to understand in the first stages of quitting. You gotta keep it real simple in early sobriety. Feel shitty -> depression/brain changes -> patience.

What's the longest period you've abstained from amphetamines? If it's less than a year than a diagnosis is probably premature.

What?! And you call yourself a Canadian!

Teamwork sucks balls. That's why I work in sales - you're only responsible for yourself.

Correct, you can't outrun a bad diet, and when you get older you have to eat less to maintain your same weight. Your metabolism slows. But my appetite has declined accordingly so I'm not gaining weight. When i was a teenager and in my early 20s I ate a crazy amount of food every day and was hungrier way more often.

Yep, once I hit 30 I couldn't eat like I was in my 20s anymore, regardless of whether I was working out or not..

I was on for 4.5 yrs and wasn't an abuser vs. Inrecovery who was like Charlie Sheen compared to me. So everyone will vary depending on time, dose, age, etc. I still have a PAWS day now and then.

Yes, somewhere between 2 and 2.5 years