Cassie

I just realized that today is my two year anniversary of being Adderall-free! I owe so much to this website and the members for helping me stay sober. I am still recovering but life is so much easier than it was at 6 months, a year, 18 months, etc. Life is more fun, balanced, easier and less serious, less grave than it was when I was addicted to speed. I have more to say about this but don't have time right now. Love you all.

I stayed stuck in jobs I hated for 5 years on Adderall because it made me so complacent. It makes you enjoy things you wouldn't ordinarily like. If everything is pleasant, then there's no sense in ever changing anything in your life or doing anything different. After awhile though, your life is not pleasant anymore. If you enjoy everything, there's nothing unenjoyable to compare it with. You can't have something without its opposite as a contrast. When you quit, your life swings the other direction - everything sucks. Over time, you regain the balance between positive and negative that is the essence of a normal life.

Can you describe your job? I can probably give you tips because this was my biggest hang-up during the quitting process. It took me about a year to get used to working without it, but I managed not to get fired. People won't notice your performance dip as much as you think. It's mostly in your head, mentally adjusting to a completely different style of working and getting used to time moving at a slower pace. It feels really awkward and uncomfortable for awhile.

Hi Edie, Tell your friend, in a casual way, that you can tell when she's on it. This is a neutral statement so there's nothing to get defensive about. The goal is to plant the seed in her mind the fact that people can tell when she's on pills. If you tell her she's acting weird, or distant, or even 'different', she will get defensive because she'll feel like you're attacking her character, and drug users can't take criticism because they feel ashamed of their use. When one of my friends simply told me that she could tell when I took Adderall, it was a wake up call because I always thought I hid it so well, that no one could tell. I couldn't argue against it. Also, it's an inviting statement that might make her probe further and ask you how she's different. Then you're controlling the conversation.

This is from Pills Anonymous, questions to ask yourself to determine if you're a pill addict: http://www.pillsanonymous.org/program/the-twenty-questions-of-pills-anonymous/

I also convinced myself I had ADD. After awhile, I did have ADD - induced by withdrawing from my daily doses of Adderall. I believe it takes more than a year for your brain to return to normal functioning. Studies have shown that after three years of use, stimulants start to have an adverse effect on students' academic performance. So, it's a short term solution to a long term problem, in other words. You're better off making lasting lifestyle changes to cope with your issues, such as diet and exercise, cultivating patience, responsibility and persistence, learning new skills, or whatever it is you want to improve on. Adderall helps with attention for everybody. It makes anyone sit still, zoom in and focus on the task at hand - why do you think so many people use it to study? The few people I've known with true ADD who take Adderall also abuse it and use it as a party drug. Amphetamines are simply highly addictive drugs, and addiction doesn't discriminate between ADD and non-ADD.

If you need to get on antidepressants or something, find a new doctor and tell him you quit an amphetamine addiction. Why would you ever go to that doctor again when there are a million other doctors out there.

Regarding #2: doctors used to endorse cigarettes as healthy because their patients got sick when they stopped smoking. Obviously now we know that when you abruptly stop an addictive substance your body goes into withdrawals and it gets worse before it gets better. #1:.I never remembered my dreams on adderall either. Maybe you can try watching funny video clips before you go to bed. I usually incorporate tv or movie plots into my dreams because it's the last thing i remember. #3: I felt dumb socially for the first 9 months, but it slowly got better as time went on. You just have to let your brain recalibrate and that takes a long time. Just distract yourself as much as possible with entertainment, outings, errands, etc.

Speaking of this topic, I was hanging out with a friend the other day, and she said that when I took Adderall I used to blink excessively at work all day long. I told her that my eyes and contacts were always so dry on Adderall so that's probably why I blinked a lot. She said it was way more excessive than that, like I had some neurological disorder or something. I'm learning all sorts of things about the drug induced quirks I used to have that I was oblivious to at the time. I must have looked like a real freak to my coworkers and friends.

Was he bipolar before the Adderall? The reason I ask is because two of my friends recently told me that during my Adderall days, they thought I was bipolar or had some kind of mental illness (they didn't know I was on Adderall at the time). On Adderall my two states were up or down, so I can see how it would appear I was bipolar. It seems like you have to give him some sort of ultimatum/intervention and cut off his financial support if you want him to get better. What motivation does he have to get a job and stop using drugs if he doesn't have to work and has other people to provide for him? I have a friend who is truly bipolar and has had trouble holding jobs continuously, so I understand the real mental illness part of it. However, my friend also comes from a wealthy family and has a trust fund, so he's never really been forced to work out of necessity. Not saying your friend's mental illness isn't real, but it's amazing what we will rise up if the choices are either work, or be out on the streets, you know? Fear is a powerful motivator. Not to make light of your situation, but it reminded me of something the comedian David Cross said in one of his stand up specials. He was talking about the show Intervention and he said something like, "These people get to live in their parents' basements for several years, all expenses paid, with no responsibilities, and do drugs all day long. Then, they get to go to a free 90 day rehab on the beach, look back on their life and say, 'those were some crazy times.' That sounds freaking awesome!" In all seriousness though, I hope you are able to help your friend. Amphetamine addiction is a serious beast.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2670101/ The book "On Speed: The Many Lives of Amphetamine" is a good historical account of amphetamines as well. I don't think you're going to find the specific long term (human) studies you're looking for, as they are too costly and time consuming for the drug companies to undertake, and the FDA does not require long term studies to approve a drug. Amphetamines are banned in most countries though - only a few Western nations deem them safe for consumption. So, consider yourself a pharmaceutical guinea pig. And keep in mind these universal truths: 1) What goes up must come down 2) If it seems too good to be true, it probably is

The most obvious long term effect is addiction, and if you love the way speed makes you feel (especially in regards to it being a boredom-buster), then you're well on your way there. Whatever a drug gives you in the beginning stages (confidence, energy, creativity, etc.), it will deplete as time goes on. That's the nature of any drug.

Your post sounded so familiar to me, then I realized it's because I've read this NY Times article: http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/03/04/the-last-all-nighter/?_r=1 So, either you're really a New York woman named Kate Miller, or you're a lying plagiarizer who has posted this across several online forums.

Nice work Jon. I can't believe it's been 5 months for you already! I remember at 5 months still feeling pretty crappy but really the days/weeks started going by much faster around that time. Before you know it you'll have a year under your belt.

i used for a long time, over five years.

i took 20-40 mg per day. I was more of a daily maintenance user, not a binger.

I became socially weird, creepy and overly serious, and i was ruining my relationships. I was anxious and paranoid all the time too.

I agree. Since you quit for four months before, when you quit again you will at least know what to expect during those first months. It will be slightly easier. But yeah, I agree with it taking at least a year or two to start to feel normal again. You have to think of recovery in terms of years, not months. Especially since you used for so long. After 10 years of amphetamine use, did you think you would be recovered in four months? Not a chance. You just have to muddle through the first year and expect to feel shitty most of the time. Then things get easier as long as you stick with it. You know the Woody Allen quote, "80% of life is just showing up?" You will learn how true that is when you quit for good. P.S. Quitting will only get harder as you get older. Quit now while you're young and have more resilience. You're young and you can put this Adderall nightmare behind you.

Inhalers usually have some sort of stimulant in them - it's what opens up the bronchial tubes and the nasal passages. Same with Sudafed which contains ephedrine. The original Benzedrine inhalers were amphetamine liquid, and people used to break them open and suck the liquid out of the cloth thing in the inhaler. It was all the rage in the 50s and 60s. Amphetamines are also dehydrating. My eyes and nose were always dry on Adderall, so I never experienced a runny nose or watery eyes. So, it's not surprising that off Adderall you'd experience more moisture in your sinuses, or congestion.

My friend moved to Utah for a year in order to quit meth - moved in with a relative. He said he wouldn't have been able to quit for good if he didn't get out of his current environment for a good amount of time. You can't run away from your problems, sure, but without Adderall you are starved for stimulation. A new city would be good for stimulating your brain in novel ways, I think. I don't see how it would hurt to move to a new place, so long as you realize it's not a cure all and you'll still have to face your demons eventually. That's the whole point of rehab - to sequester yourself in a safe, drug free environment while learning skills to cope when you go back to your original life and triggers.

Overload - New job information overload

Why did you come to this site if you don't want to stop? Did you Google 'quitting Adderall'? We are not here to convince people that Adderall is bad. We are here to support people who want to get off it for their own reasons. Decide for yourself if there's a point in stopping.

I've had thoughts like that too. I just started a new job, which is my first major life change since quitting almost 2 years ago. Work was my major reason for taking Adderall so it is a huge trigger for those thoughts. I often think how I wish I knew someone who takes it so I could buy one or two - but I don't know anyone. And I sure as hell would never go to my doctor and ask for a script, because that would mean full blown daily relapse - month to month - can't do anything without it - right back where I was before. It doesn't help that this new job is similar to the one I had during my honeymoon Adderall phase, so I keep thinking back to how great I was at that job (in the beginning anyway). I have a list of specific situations where I took Adderall and acted anxious or creepy, so I read that list whenever I start thinking like that, and add things I think of. That seems to help. I don't think you can stop certain thoughts if that's what you're asking - what you resist persists. You can only redirect your thoughts to something else. Think about how far you've come and how much better you've gotten since you first quit, and how you're only going to continue to get stronger.

Congrats, LIL-OHIO? !

Once you've been clean for a long time (over a year at least) you WILL start thinking in terms of years, because you won't be counting the months anymore. Time goes so slow in the beginning but after a year it starts to fly. Here's another analogy for you: A baby's brain is 80% fully developed by age 3. But what happens between age 3 and 25 (age when brain is fully developed) seems incredibly huge. That last 20% seems like so much, but really most of the hard developmental connections are made in the first couple years. It's just a perception issue. If you learn calculus you don't think about how that learning is possible because of the groundwork your brain laid when you were an infant. I think you can look at the first year of recovery as that 80%. That's where most of the hard recovery takes place, like brain repair and relearning how to do things drug free (say, completing Excel spreadsheets or exercising). After a year you'll still recover, just not at as drastic of a rate, but it will actually feel more significant, because it's the big abstract things that you'll recover later, like self confidence, motivation and drive.