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Greg

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Posts posted by Greg

  4. How do you stop missing it?

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    I accidentally deleted my post.

    But basically I was saying that I have read so many stories about how adderall has destroyed people's lives and personalities, how it's given them a superficial sense of hope while turning on them, how it has made people hit rock bottom, feel completely helpless, how it's destroyed marriages, relationships, jobs, forced people into rehab and taken so much away from them -- that I feel so much disgust for it. That disgust helps me to combat that urge or desire.

    Also don't forget those horrible days where you were awake for days on end and feeling cracked out all time. It's funny, it is in the middle of the night as I write this And there are 90 people reading this forum right now. I can't help but wonder how many of them have not slept in days and are wired up on adderall feeling helpless, looking for answers.

    • Like 2

  6. What have you learned from recovery?

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    At first I thought I would never be able to live without stimulants - never. I didn't think it was possible, and I didn't see myself ever living without them. I've learned that it is actually possible to live without stimulants in your life. And I've learned how much better life is without it. I learned that all the things I came to rely on Adderall for are things I can do without it -- which is pretty much everything. I used to feel like I was a slave to those pills. I no longer feel like a slave. Even though I remember how damaging these pills were to my brain and body, i have also learned how important it is to stay vigilant, how it is possible that I could one day relapse, and how scary the thought of that is. Lil tex, you and I have had the same time clean Time from adderall and yet I can understand how easy it was for you to be so tempted again just last week.

    I know that I must be the exception to the rule, but after nearly 4 years clean I still mentally , at times, crave adderall. But at the same time I am relying on my disgust for the drug would to never let me touch it again. But I hate it that I must continue to live with the threat of adderall returning.

    • Like 3

  9. 12 Miles a Week Runners Club - NEW

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    7-7:30pm! :-( Ashley if you want to resurrect the 3 resumes a day club, Im happy to keep supporting you there. I hope you are happy there? u said you were getting a lot out of the experience.

     

    Great job on getting those three in!! I cranked out 12 today, def felt like puking several times as well. (I actually dont do anything for abs, I need to start doing more abs and weight lifting etc..)

     

    ZK - Because you know I'm all about that bass, about that bass, no treble...I love that song, I listened to that song like 4 times when I was running.

     

    edit - On a side note, I think the song is catchy and has a great message but it also just makes think how incredibly superficial the music and magazine industry (mens magazines are not an exception) are. I would rather read about real things affecting the world. 

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    CBA - Cost Benefit Analysis

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Yeah, I know what you mean. I am going to go read some stories. I am just in a deep dark funk right now which made the concerta seem like a ray of light. But I know it is not the answer. Thanks for the reminder inrecovery. Yes, this shit can sneak back up at any time and I have to be on guard of who I talk to about it as well. It is not a good idea to discuss this issue with someone who was not an abuser.

    Lil tex, I am taking it you may have gotten the idea from a non abuser. be super careful when talking to non abusers!! I have some non abuser friends who joke about adderall like it is no big deal. But they don't know how truly bad it got for me. I completely ignore them. You NEVER want to be on that again. EVER. There is an addict side of your brain that might sneak up on you, and you have to watch out for that -- because it is your whole life at stake. I am not being extreme when I say that your entire life will come crumbling down. Don't let someone else's words trigger that.
    • Like 5

  14. CBA - Cost Benefit Analysis

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    ZK I have such the opposite opinion of concerta than you do. I think it is the worst of the bunch and concerta grosses me out , and when I was at rock bottom, concerta was my stim of choice, .the important thing is not romanticize any of this crap as one better than the other -- they will all fuck you up equally. Period.

    • Like 3

  15. CBA - Cost Benefit Analysis

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Lil tex, knowing how much amazing advice you've given and how many people you have told your story to, and knowing how you are so fully aware of how stimulants destroy lives, including your own..it felt like you "fell under a spell and went into a trance" when you suddenly wanted to ask your doctor for concerta.

    That is a scary thing , a reality, we as addicts have to deal with and be very weary of.

    It's good that you know when you get these thoughts, you immediately come to the boards first. Maybe you should stay closer to this site until this blows over.

    • Like 3

  19. 12 Miles a Week Runners Club - NEW

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    Ashley, dont apologize for venting about your job otherwise I will have to apologize ten hundred times more for all my venting!

     

    First of all - great job on the 4.5 miles even with your hours!!!! About the job...hmmm. you know. 13 hour days consistently is hard to sustain. But at the same time, it seems like you feel like you are getting a good learning experience. You did an amazing job with your job search, like it only took a couple weeks for you to get a couple offers.  I think you should definitely put some feelers out and see other places you may want to work at.

    • Like 1

  22. ADD is not real

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    I have all the typical symptoms of ADHD right now. I find it hard to go to class to pay attention in class. I can't absorb the words om reading. I don't ever feel like studying. I feel unmotivated to do well in school.

    Does that mmean I have add?

  23. ADD is not real

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    I've have read in a number of posts the assertion that there is a dopamine deficiency in ADHD sufferers, but am wondering for those who believe this if they are aware of any scientific evidence supporting this belief?

    If that is the case, then every adderall addict who quits adderall has ADHD. because we are all suffering from a dopamine deficiency.

  25. What were the most banal things that enthralled you on adderall?

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    I don't do music production but since I've been on the meds, I no longer care to watch tv, I just listen to one of my favorite songs over & over while doing something mundane.  And when I mean over and over it can play for 3 hours while doing house work - weird lol

     

    It's strange, I used to be a TVaholic but once I got on the meds i literally had no interest in anything so I got rid of my cable

     

    When I was on adderall, TV/movies felt like such a waste of time! i never wanted to watch stuff.

    Now I love it again.

    • Like 3
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