Greg

lisabisa, I can definitely relate with a lot of things you said. Especially the part about waking up in the morning and thinking about your bottle immediately. As soon as I reached for the alarm, I reached for the pills then woke up in bed. I did that every morning. And I can also relate to the parts about needing Tylenol PM to go to sleep - every night. I eventually switched to Excedrin PM because I felt it had more of the ingredient to help me sleep! I've also had people mail my pill bottle to me in the mail and have also contemplated flushing them down the toilet many, many times, once successfully. I was also on the same dosage as you 30 mgs twice daily. Although I stayed true to that dosage for a while...maybe a year, eventually I started taking four of them a day, and ultimately I was taking up to eight or nine of those 30 mg tablets a day and eventually crushing them up and snorting them. Sometimes Id take more than that. As a severe adderall addict, now in recovery, I recommend you just tell your mom that you are getting addicted or are addicted to these pills. That will stop her. Then, with it being so difficult to get pills in Nevada, you wont have any choice but to force yourself to stop. In the beginning it will probably be scary, because you will be living without your crutch. For me, in the short run I was absolutely terrified and confined myself to my bed for weeks. I didn't just stop adderall, I stopped everything going on in my life. It took a while for lethargy to begin to wear off. But in the long run, you will have more energy and you will be much, much better off and happier. I think everyone who is getting off adderall worries about the weight so, so much. I think what happens is that we are so used to the pills supressing our appetite that we don't know how to eat in moderation on our own anymore. You have to relearn how to eat in moderation again - without pills. If you keep your calorie intake to 1200-1500 calories a day, you won't gain weight. If you are really worried about your weight, I would go so far as to count your calories, in the days you get off the pills. For me, I needed to join a weight loss program (Nutrisystem) to help me learn to do that. Eventually, I learned how to manage my weight without adderall. By the way, the Nutrisystem really worked with me. Prior to joining the program, I had just gotten off adderall and had rapidly gained twenty pounds. Another time, when I was trying to quit ritalin, I gained forty pounds. So the Nutrisystem really helped me get back on track... When I was on adderall, I never really felt hungry much and never needed to diet and I just didn't eat very much. Now, I can still eat that way without being on adderall, only I'm consciously working at it, and I'm consciously on a diet...watching what I eat. It's a much more normalized way to manage your weight then using pills though. Anyway, I know you can do it. Stay strong and you'll def pull through!

hmmm...I've never heard of purple teeth before but my teeth definitely got yellower while I was taking adderall. It seemed I had developed a strong "association" with taking adderall and smoking cigarettes. Every time I took adderall, I would have these intensely strong craving cigarettes. As I took higher and higher dosages of adderall, I started smoking more and more cigarettes. I could not do one without the other. The result, much yellower teeth. Oddly enough, when I quit taking adderall ten months ago, my urge for smoking cigarettes suddenly stopped as well...Havent smoked a cigarette since I stopped the adderall.

I totally agree with you. Adderall should be BANNED. It's so addictive and so many people have attested to having their lives destroyed by the drug...it has such a reputation of being the "cheat drug" for abuse on college campuses. If you were to ask me what comes to mind when I think of adderall, I would say It does NOT have a reputation as a drug that helps people...It has a reputation as a drug that students abuse to gain a "competetive edge" OR as a "weight suppressent"... How can they possibly continue to prescribe this crap to the public??? If anyone knows of a class action suit being prepared against those idiot producers of adderall, I am so ready to sign up....!

Wow, It's so great to hear from someone who can relate with all of this!! Getting adderall was absolutely a full time job. I've definitely had several dreams about adderall, including "the one" about messing up and accidentally taking adderall and messing up recovery. It IS scary how embedded it is in our subconscious. And it is scary how long recovery seems to be taking...! It's been ten long months for me! It's also inspiring to know that you feel rebuilt! I hear so many different thoughts on how long recovery takes. Some say one year, others say two or even three years. When did you realize that you had rebuilt yourself? I keep asking myself when that moment will be? When I feel I will be able to get on from here.... I still don't feel at 100%. I recently began to feel headaches when I didn't get enough sleep or when I try to exert myself mentally on a project. Like the time I tried studying for an graduate school entrance exam. I still find it difficult motivating myself. I'm not working now and feel at a standstill in life. I'm afraid if I start working that I will force myself into a relapse. Or maybe its the fear of not being able to find work - with my spotty employment history as a result of my adderall abuse. I'm not sure. it's probably both. Maybe I need to just jump in - but again, the motivation is just not what it used to be like... In your recovery, how does your body feel? Question, Did you feel any pressure in your head, particularly the back of your neck area...Did you have any physical feelings of withdrawal? These are things I've been experiencing in my recovery... Again, it's inspiring to hear your story and hear about how things are going for you. Isn't it a relief not to feel absolutely COMPELLED to exert all that energy and effort, spending all that time conspiring to get more adderall?? I remember those days when the mission to get adderall was "total life or death"!

Hi guys, I have spent a lot of my time in adderall reoovery reading books about adderall/amphetamine addiction and just wanted to pass on some titles I read. Feel free to add to this list.. 1) On Speed - Traces the history of America's obsession with amphetamines; dexadrine, ritalin, adderall etc... 2) Amphetamine Debate - Goes into the consequences of stimulant abuse, psychosis particularly with adderall and ritalin.. 3) More, Now and Again - Memoir of a Writer's Addiction to Ritalin... Some I haven't read yet - 4) The Adderall Diaries - Its a memoir, apparently talks about the writers experiencing abusing adderall and mixing different amphetamine medications (FYI THIS HAS NOT GOTTEN GOOD REVIEWS FROM MEMBERS...SEE BELOW) 5) Requiem for a Dream - One of the stories subplots is a woman who gets hooked on amphetamines.. Front Page NY Times article on adderall addiction http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/03/us/concerns-about-adhd-practices-and-amphetamine-addiction.html?_r=0

Hi, I'm new to the group. It's great to find so many people who I can relate to. To the administrator, thank you so much for setting up such a helpful website for us who are struggling and trying to recover. I just read the 13 milestone of quitting and found a lot of comfort and wisdom in them. I have been severely addicted to adderall for 12 years and finally beginning my recovery. I started taking ritalin in college to stay up all night. Soon I was upping the dosage, then switched to adderall. Twelve years later, I became absolutely dependent on the feeling of being "charged up and driven" all the time. The high dosages also turned me into an extremely, extremely paranoid person and Ive had so many psychotic episodes I cannot even count, but have called the police several times in my delusions and ended up in the hospital in observation several times. I was taking eight or nine pills 30 mg pills a day, often chewing the pills or crushing them and snorting them to intensify the effects. One time, after getting back to the pharmacy with my adderall pill bottle, I used the handle of an ice cream scoop and crushed up all the pills at once, and just snorted my prescription little by little with a straw until it was all gone - not too many days later. I had really mastered a system of finding doctors in the yellow pages to prescribe me pills. The addiction drove me into several doctors offices, pharmacies a month. Adderall became my obsession and getting prescriptions and visiting doctors became my biggest mission every month. I knew every pharmacy in my area and surrounding areas. If my adderall prescription was ever post dated to be refilled at a future date, I would show up at a 24 hour pharmacy at 12:01am the day to get it refilled. I was going through two prescriptions each month, running out about halfway through the month. On the days I was not on adderall, I was so exhausted I could only leave my bed to eat or go on a doctors visit. At my absolute worst I was getting prescriptions from three different doctors and another supplier was sending me enough for the days when those prescriptions ran out...during those days, which lasted about two years, I was hearing voices in my head. Big surprise. During that period, I really devolved. I lost my dream job, freaked out everyone around me, lost a lot of my friends, moved home, lost more jobs, ended up in rehab and outpatient therapy and ultimately ended up back on these terribly addictive pills. I had already posted my whole story here a few weeks ago, if you get a chance to read it, here is the link... http://ehealthforum.com/health/severe-adderall-addiction-recovery-t293794.html