tessa0412

We all fear to much. Seeing your guys responses I'm totally agreeing and realizing I do the same thing we all do. Obsessively. What's with fear and addiction? Our fear got the best of us in the first place because we put a veil over the fear with a blanket of addiction. Numbing

Yes I totally know that "chill produCtivly" even when I'm chilling which I wished to be very good at I'm feeling almost like I'm "faking it" or just constantly asking myself -should I be doing this? Should I do it this way or that way?is this bad good? Am I crazy? Am I in denial? Questions questions Distractions. v

http://youtu.be/AQlaa1STz7 Fabulous Sunday sober song

Who's chillin? Who needs done inspiration to chill? I love spending my Sundays relaxing but sometimes adderall brain kicks in So lets inspire a chill day here Relax - give yourself that

I never thought about Wellbutrin till now or heard of it. Why Wellbutrin and no other? Is it specific to adderall abuse?

I'm a reader I like self help stuff but also biography not so much learning about amphetamines or any of that I want to read a new book about inspireig people I love bohemian healthy zen like charectors and People so reading about people like that help me feel Inspired to be the best woman and individual I can be.. That's for me. I'm looking for something like that now but I'm open to ideas! Suggestions? What are some major feel good life change books u guys have read and recommend

Any other people's recipe for success? I loved this post

Damn really hit home to me on the stuff u said inrecovery. I'm fighting all this madness of trying to deal with tasks and emotions while not on adds . I recently realized my triggers or one of them is emotions dealing with them. Because when I go through something emotionally I ushually use the next day or so * I lack confidence In myself like I can't handle it or I'm doing it wrong and mainly just fkin taking the damn pills . I don nessarily say "fuck this I'm weak give me a pill" I just ignore deny and use Interesting on psychological stuff and dopamine ECt . Helps me remember I'm. Not crazy and it's just my brain or my chemical brain dependency crap

I've wanted to quit an admitted I has a problem like 3 years ago really conciously tried and had therapist and cut ties with dealers ECt than I had alot of times I stopped for a bit and just pretended I didn't have a problem like I wake up keep busy keep my mind busy and avoid thinking about adderall or recovery steps Maybe that's why I have tryes so hard to quit for good so many god damn times ove the past 3 years This year I've been stretching my time off up to 2 weeks and binging for 2 days maybe 3 It used to be like 5 days 6 days binge So that's good . But that little voice in my head says " yea right not good u suck" My question is have I been -relapsing- for 3 years? I really try and passionatly want to quit for good all these years but every 2-3 weeks I do it again I hear some people talk about relapse 2-3 times than they are good What's wrong with me

To everyone that said they would reach out .. Are u a five on here enough if I decided to message u when I feel like useing

Thanku

One thing my therapist asks me is what am I so afraid off? For 5 years I've lasted on off adderall at most 2-3 weeks. I do ok , I don't get crazy withdrawl but when things are even going good ( or of course bad) I use. I have good people around me so why why why do I pick up Hence the ? " what am I afraid of?" Like when I'm sober what am I so afraid of I always draw a blank than thought its because I'm afraid of who I am Without it? I hate myself on it tho And when I'm clean I feel grateful happy for being so I'm always on guard and worried if I'm enough or doing the "right thing" On adderall I worry about organizing cleaning speeding and finding more I guess I'm ignoring all those wondering if lim ok feelings Thoughts? What is everyone else so afraid of ?

I want to quit I can quit I have great things and supportive people around me yet I still use for stupid no good reasons every clouple weeks . Even with therapy and deep feelings of wanting sobriety.. I must not want enough? Am I a fake? And Than negative talk starts again When wil my actions be with my words I find some adderall randomly I can't say no. I'm no longer searching But hey it's there I take it . Ugh' I'm so mad at myself I've been use in for 5 years and I find myself sober for 20 something days yet I have a dream or a thought and I go for it or I see it on someone and I ask for it or take it. Will ThaT ever go away? Like its in the room and I don't think twice about it? What am I missing out on when it comes to the postive effects of not use of after 30 days? Will the random thoughts and dreams and obsessive thoughts ever end I hate the adderall me

going to try first cleanse thankyou! any idea if it effects birth control?

so ive been addicted to adderall for 5 years steadily trying to quit wanting to quit and really just screwing up with that for about 2 years. i recently opened up to my boyfriend and some friends about how i fell off the wagon since my last "clean up".. that lasted 24 days.. i ushually cant stay clean for more than two weeks. i also started seeeing a therapist who has really been pushing me and helping me and honestly ive never done so much work or insight on myself more than i have the past 3 weeks.. journaling and eating right and just staying consious that im in recovery im an addict and just trying to remember that so my brain doesnt play tricks and make me belive once is ok... today was 16 days huge 16 straight days of putting my health first ... well untill tonight i didnt journal today and yesterday and today kind of just floated through the day without any affirmations meditation journaling or staying consious of my goal ... i really wanted to take some earlier today when i was triggered at the pharmecy getting my birth control.. so i had adderall thoughts for sure my boyfriend was gone tonight so i invited some friends over for a chill movie night.. or so i thought.. they inivited like 4 more girls over whom im friends with but choose not to be around ushually because they use. i knew this but said ok come over anyway god forbid i say no and put myself first and just be honest.. right? well i saw some in someones bag and i was triggered. i went for it and took some.. i actually stole these... the whole shame guilt and im clean!! ~ couldnt be seen or shown to anyone.. im very secretive and alone in this addiction so its like maybe if i steal it and no1 knows than i can "pretend i dont know and that i didnt do this. terrible, i know but i did. i actually had heavy thoughts of no dont do this dont waste ur 16 days u will be fine and it was an imense feeling.. i ushually turn that off.. so it was a good sign i felt that but i still friggen said fuck it and took it. and than took some more. every time i take an adderall it cant be one. this is so dangerous...i know this yet i decided to fuck up my 16 days. im feeling down and just like sitting in my self pity or just like this feeling of u chose this. deal with it. i guess what im asking here is how everyone copes when relapsing after a good positive stretch. what do u do after? i mean that sounds silly but i guess i just need some guidence i dont wanna dwell on this any longer what are some relapse prevention skills u guys have> am i still in recovery? i know that answer is yes, but i cant help but feel like im starting way over ... not 16 days over but like day one from 2 years ago over... im sure u know the feeling.

I'm an aries a go go go fire sign the most energetic of the signs .. Funny how I craved even more energy with dpeed

I've been an adderall usef for 5 years with pattern of 6-7 days off and than usually a 4 day binge My counselor mentioned out patient to monitor my heart rates depression ECt and possibly a weaning off method ...'comments?

Thanks guys I'm seeing an amazing counselor considering out patient sit is overwhelming and crazy

Dude so annoying I usually use after this, try getting a good enlightening mind opening. Book I like anything from Sylvia Browne of eckaretre tolle or deepak Chopra end that brain before bed on a good note

So sorry typing error «««««remember how good you felt when you wrote this»»»feel the happiness and pure_ness

Remember how good you telecoms back and read this---- feel it the happiness and just Pyrenees....addiction is a little evil monster who BOOM pops up and the good feelings go away and ifs just use use screw it. Those thoughts seem so far away and unrealistic but due to our addicted brain it's inevitable to happen so not only 're read this post you wrote but keep a journal and start NEW patterns

I'm gamma try and start a topic that I'm sure everyone has already seen or read or have asked themselves I'm quitting adderall. Well I binge 4 days than off one two weeks . Around 7 8th day the mental craving begins But my therapist and I talked about all the reworking and damage I've done to my body and brain.. Therefore I would like to start taking supplements to help regain all the depletion Everybody has different ideas and advice on this but I would just LOvE to know the exact kind of supplements and vitamins to take and how much and with what and when So I have B complex B6 B12 Ltyrosine L thyinine 5htp And just recently got a organic full body cleanse So is there anyone here with knowledge on what to take with what and when?

I've been taking adderall for 5 years. I binge 4 days than off a week and so forth I'm in therapy and I'm determines to stop. I was wondering if anyone knew of a good body cleanse ??! To just clear my body brain off of this. To just cleanse my self like a first step for me is obviously stop but I would like to do a body cleanse. Feel clean Thoughts? And I have b6 b12 magnesium zinc b complex l tyrosine and l theanjne and I'm not sure when or how to take these for the aftermath of coming down and quitting Any advice would be greatly appreciate

I've been taking adderall for 5 years. I binge 4 days than off a week and so forth I'm in therapy and I'm determines to stop. I was wondering if anyone knew of a good body cleanse ??! To just clear my body brain off of this. To just cleanse my self like a first step for me is obviously stop but I would like to do a body cleanse. Feel clean Thoughts? And I have b6 b12 magnesium zinc b complex l tyrosine and l theanjne and I'm not sure when or how to take these for the aftermath of coming down and quitting Any advice would be greatly appreciate

I've been taking adderall for 5 years. I binge 4 days than off a week and so forth I'm in therapy and I'm determines to stop. I was wondering if anyone knew of a good body cleanse ??! To just clear my body brain off of this. To just cleanse my self like a first step for me is obviously stop but I would like to do a body cleanse. Feel clean Thoughts? And I have b6 b12 magnesium zinc b complex l tyrosine and l theanjne and I'm not sure when or how to take these for the aftermath of coming down and quitting Any advice would be greatly appreciate