ashley6

InRecovery, Have you been running?

MFA, Are you feeling any better? I realized I never responded to this post...been thinking about you. Let us know how you're doing!

Cassie, That sounds terrible. Ugh. Sorry you're going through that, but thank you for sharing. I've been having some uncomfortable thoughts about adderall lately, and it has annoyed the crap out of me, after a year and 2 months. Your post made me feel less alone. Hang in there!

Jredbull, Welcome to the forums. Wow, you have gone through a lot and congratulations on your sobriety from opiates. Unfortunately adderall has entered your life, but it doesn't have to be a complete fuck up of your recovery....if you quit. Since you've been through such intensive rehab, you know the drill on what you have to do. I'm not sure why adderall is so downplayed by the general public, because it is so addictive and can be very life-altering. It's good you feel like crap taking it, right? Can you cut off your access? Try not to dwell on your guilt, it isn't productive. What's your plan for quitting adderall? Thanks for sharing your story. Please keep us posted.

I'm going to look into it! You're so resourceful....thanks for passing that on

LilTex, It was sooo nice to meet you! I was nervous like a blind date or something (ha), but it was great talking to you and learning from someone who has a lot it sobriety under their belt. You've been through a lot, and I'm so proud of you too! I'll hit you up again next time I'm in the area oh yeah, and InRecovery, she's fit as crap. She should be our work out role model!

Yes, Krax

Just wanted to share with you guys that LilTex and I got to have lunch today together. It was nice to get to talk in person after feeling like we kind of know each other online. Very cool

Thanks, I am feeling better! It was just a couple day thing. The beach was great with lots of family. How are you doing??

You're description of the bad side effects of adderall is pretty broad, but to be honest with you, you will FEEL like you lost those skills for awhile. But in reality, it's the lies adderall addiction tells you. You'll FEEL like you lost a lot of those skills for awhile if you quit, but it's a lie. Have you ever abused? Quitting was the best/most difficult thing I've ever done and so worth it! Tell us a little more about your story.

Heather, I've been wondering about you. I'm glad you came back, but not glad you've been struggling. There is always hope, and you seem like a person that will do something once you have your mind made up....so what will get you off of the fence about quitting?

I love that last part of what a doctor told you, and it's so true.

Yes, quit-once. To add to it, I was just pumping gas, and my previous adderall dealer passes right in front of my car. I think these are reminders to stay strong. This life is much better. Ok, this ended up being one of the worst days I've had in a long time. I can't really explain it. I just feel shitty emotionally. Do any of you with over a year under your belt have these once in awhile? I'm going on vacation for a week on the beach in the morning. Looking forward to it, but I want this to pass. It will I'm sure. Just looking for a little advice. I know this is life, but this seems more paws-ish.

I had another one of my relapse dreams. I was at a concert or something, and I was being really short and moody with my mom, and she wanted to take me to a rehab across the street. I just remember saying "I'm fine," but feeling like I wasn't fine at all. In almost every dream I am debating in my head if I really did relapse. I woke up feeling so relieved.

Yes, what Cassie said. I don't think you had bad intentions, and I think what you're incorporating for yourself isn't necessarily bad, especially if it works for you. I only meant that as stimulant addicts, it's easy to try to find ways to try to side step that I myself, and many others on here would probably agree, I think, that we were no longer able to control our usage. Adderall began to control us, we didn't control adderall. I wasn't intending to be negative.

This is a site for people whose goal is to quit and stay quit from adderall, so advice on how to take it responsibly isn't useful here.

Just did 5.5 miles, so I'm at 10.5 for the week And in a non creepy way, I kept thinking of you guys on the treadmill when I wanted to stop, because I knew I had my crew to answer to! It just reminded me of another positive of quitting adderall. I really didn't care about accountability in the least when using, and now it's so important to me. Like back then I'd probably just lie or avoid it altogether if I didn't do something. Sorry for rambling.

Daaaamn!! You're a baller! I'll keep you posted.

Occasional, Congrats! That is amazing. Adderall is a liar that says we need it to succeed. You've proven that theory wrong. Well-done!!!!

The one thing I've heard over and over here that has given me faith in the quitting process is that quitting is not a linear process. It's not like every day you feel better and better. Just trudge through it. You can do it! Sleep if you need to sleep and don't feel guilty about it. Life itself has ups and downs, as does recovery. You will feel better....just hang in there.

Hahahahaha

Sebastian, I just want to say from this post alone you sound better. Sometimes we don't notice it in ourselves, you just seem more positive.

Running outside probably prepared you to run longer distances on the treadmill. Running outside is a bitch! Another 5? Nice! 12 is in my cards this week.

Well, it took me an hour....half running, half walking, but I got 5 miles in tonight

Good job MFA. I saw this and am heading to the gym right now....good work.