ashley6

Have you noticed it eases your stress?

Yaay....7 miles is awesome! I finished my 12.5 today for the week. Let's do this....onto next week It really does feel great.

Yesterday marks 11 months adderall-free! Thanks for all of the continued support from all of you :)

"When in doubt, just take the next small step." Amen! Love this.

Hahaha

Ddw, I can totally relate to you regarding finishing college and being addicted to this shit. I let my abuse get so bad, that I didn't graduate....and I hid it from everyone for years, then abused more from the guilt. Learn from my mistakes. I'm 28 and finishing college now, because I was too messed up to do it back then. You CAN do it without it, and in fact, might work in your favor to do it adderall-free....all the best!

Keep hanging in there, Lady Luck!

Sky, I think that got the point across very well...disturbing. Welcome Dia! 2 years adderall-free. What an accomplishment!

Ddw, That's interesting. My dad is an engineer too. Have you posted here before? I don't remember seeing you. Welcome to the site! Sorry if I'm mistaken. We'd love to hear your story.

I really like this....thanks for posting.

Thank you ladies. I debated on posting this, because it's pretty personal, but it meant a lot to me, and you're my online "family."

MFA, I was thinking about posting the exact same thing last night. Of course I forgot. Anyway, I agree. Falcon, miss you. Please check in with us!

Hahaha. I see what you did there.

So, my dad has been a "Disneyland dad" for a lot of my life. He loves me, and I know that, but there his acceptance of me has been a huge issue for me. He's a very wealthy, educated man, so I felt like a big failure when I let drugs take over and didn't graduate college (but I'm on my way now ) Anyway, the years I was on adderall our relationship was well, forget it. I blocked family out of my life to hide how bad I really was. I sent him the article I was a part of in the magazine, and I got no response. I was hurt, even if I didn't deserve a pat on the back, I felt like I wanted him to say, "Ashley, I'm proud of you." Well, eventually he came through after I spoke to my stepmom and told her my feelings. We are closer now than we've ever been, and it means a lot to me. The point of this post is that I think relationships can be mended after addiction and be stronger than ever, because we learn and grow and appreciate what really matters in life. This was his email: Hi Ashley I did read the article and it was good to see how you are able to overcome and manage the addiction. I am happy you are on top of it. It will be a lifelong challenge but you are strong and will prevail. I will be the first to say I don't understand addiction and how it can happen but that's because it's never happened to me. I did live in an environment at school where drugs were prevalent including pot and cocaine but I made the conscious choice to never try them. One of the guys that lived at Purdue with me lost his way and died from a drug overdose several years ago. It is sad as he was just a genuine good person. I love you and support you in everyway that I can as does your mother. Love Dad This is a stretch for my dad, because he does NOT like to discuss this. Just thought I'd share.

Isn't this the truth?!

I'm going to chime in, because I think this is a good idea even if QO thinks it's weird I like: My sense of humor My loyalty My compassion and sensitivity for others My big heart My faith in God My smile That people tend to view me as nice and innocent, although I hated this when I was younger (and I'm far from innocent, but I usually have good intentions) The fact that I'm becoming more accepting of myself: flaws and all

Congratulations occasional!

Do you know why adderall causes bad teeth? I've never had bad teeth until adderall. I went for a check up and had like 11-13 cavities and needed a route canal. I had had only one in my life before that. A few months ago, I had a tooth break completely in half....so gross. It killed my poor teeth.

Quitonce, I think we have a lot of similarities in how we went into quitting. I, too, thought about how badly I needed to quit for a year before doing so. I even brought my parents to counseling to tell them that year before, because I was desperate, but I knew deep down I wasn't ready. I just wanted to stop hurting the people who loved me, and I felt I owed them the truth. My counselor calls it a year relapse, but I don't think so, because I wasn't fully ready to quit at the time, so I gave it like 20% effort. I think that last year was helpful to me in an odd way, so my addiction could run it's course, and I could see the real destruction it caused. Thank God I lived through it, because an addict won't quit until they're ready, as we all know.

Congrats Rev&Rush....good for you!

MFA, This is an interesting concept. I just realized another trigger of mine: talking about relapse. I'm so glad you pulled yourself up by the bootstraps and got right back on track with the slip up. In my mind, I try to live as though relapse doesn't exist, because it scares the shit out of me. I don't think if bounce back like you did, and I'd be checking myself into rehab. Relapse is most definitely a common part of recovery that I pray I don't experience, one day at a time. I'm not offering a lot of insight here, just thinking out loud.

Lea, We talked about this somewhere on here. I agree, it's a fabulous movie about the power of addiction, especially denial. I was talking to a friend about it, and they said something about not liking it, because they couldn't find sympathy for him and his addiction. I don't know that I would've either had I not been addicted, but it was very powerful!

Where were you all?

I totally agree with MFA. I felt emotions I didn't even know existed when first quitting. I think your body is just out of whack, because it's a big adjustment. I would jump from crying to laughing in a matter of minutes too, and that's not my temperament at all. I think just give your body and mind time to regroup

Once my last counselor and I came to the realization that adderall was my problem, she gave me a referral to a counselor who specializes in addiction, because she didn't feel equipped to help me. That's normal, and in my opinion, looking out for your best interest. A counselor who knows their own limitations gets a lot of respect from me, because they aren't out to get your money if they can't help you. Also, they have very strict confidentiality agreements at rehabs and counselors. They can't give information unless you sign off on it, so don't let that fear stop you from getting help. It won't happen. I'm glad you did go see someone and were honest....good for you. Surely that counselor would know psychiatrists or other counselors who specialize in addiction. Hugs. Hang in there!