oyvey

For any of the more knowledgeable people that know about the chemistry of the med, is it possible that I built up a tolerance so quickly from having an acidic diet that nullified a lot of the effects? I tend to have a lot of diet coke,rice, soy products, pecans and other acidic proteins. Im a natural body builder so my food choices are not random, but just curious if I knocked down the effects hence needing more so quickly. Yes, I know diet coke is bad, so I'm not looking for a lecture there.

Im back from my workout. It was good minus feeling my blood pressure was a little off{slightly dizzy}. My psychiatrist called back and said he respected my call and we will try something without addiction potential in addition to cognitive therapy. He suggested Wellbutrin as a transition. I haven't researched enough to give my 2 cents. Yeah I guess the feeling smarted was a big drug induced lie, I just didn't see it coming. I did so many google searches about students using it to stay up late and study. I didn't necessarily associate that with any kind of euphoria. I saw it more as, F that I want to sleep at night. I think the latest I took it was 3pm at the latest and that was yesterday. I realize that every med or supplement under the sun will have amazing reviews or horror stories. I took a gamble and overestimated myself. Not that it really makes a difference, but i also read about people taking super low doses and getting anxiety, racing heart, terrible side effects. In my case I thought I'm calm and wasn't having the bad side effects as my dose increased. It was only logic and reading more into the horror stories that I saw myself as the next person to be writing a horror story....oh and or course my apartment/laundry being completely neglected. Since i didn't have the "energy burst" and did have the "calming/focus} i thought my diagnosis of add-innatentive was accurate and the right med to be on. Sucks being wrong on a grand scale.

Sorry, one more note. While on Adderall I didn't get physical energy AT ALL, so it was 100% mental energy. Im looking around my apartment and it's a train wreck of things that should have been done but I put off due to a complete lack of physical energy and putting my priority into brain games. Man, this a weird drug. I avoided using my brain for eons and used my body for recreational body building, this stuff reversed it with a pill instantly. I feel the need to write this stuff, so I can be aware of things I have f'd up or avoided and need to take care of. Yes, the withdrawal will and the anxiety I'm sure are on their way but i won't make myself anxious by dwelling on it till then.

Just a note- for the past few months I felt intelligent/articulate for the first time in my life. Not so much today.

Morning 1-getting ready to workout at the gym. The only workouts I have been doing anytime recently were mental. I literally replaced my gym workouts with exercising my brain for endless hours it seems. I knew I should have been working out, but it was okay on the shit to skip it and just read etc. I have some vitamins ready for daily use and things planned in attempt to keep my mind and body occupied. I was solely a loner when using adderall. When i was engaged socially, it wasn't as alluring for me. I didn't want to hyper focus as I would call it with people, it was more like with books, documentaries and politics online.

I didn't experience a down, but saying to myself that last one didn't feel as good as yesterday...maybe i should take another one. I got on it for the right reasons to control my whirlwind in my mind, but it didn't stay that way very long. Tomorrow is another day, all I can do is face it head on.

Thank you. I will more than likely need the forum for some sort of sanity or reinforcement about doing the right thing.

My meds are flushed and I left a voicemail for my psychiatrist to not prescribe again for reasons of abuse. I know I won't taper, so this is it. Whatever hell is coming, i will take it as it comes and try to get to the good side off being off this crap.

Thank you for the support. I know 100% it's the must do thing. I thought starting this med was the right thing to do and almost a Godsend, but wow I was wrong about my ability to handle it.

Hello everybody, instead of boring you with my life story I will get right to the point. Im 40 year old male and I was prescribed Adderall which seemed to be a miracle for my add inattentive/scatterbrained/fidgety etc etc type symptoms but unfortunately the initial effect seemed to lose its strength so i asked the doctor if It was possible my body was just needing a slightly larger dose, so he agreed to increase my dose and that's where the problem started. Once again I felt on track again and so happy to be able to read a book without getting a paragraph in and then just going elsewhere to 10 places in my mind. I was relaxed again, almost like Xanax with perfect focus. Well as the weeks went by increased my dose more{without doc consent} because it seemed like yet again i was losing the benefit and didn't want to lose out on this great slowing down of my mind. As of 2 weeks ago I went overboard because i started to like the feeling I got when i increased the dose. It was almost euphoric, i still had my focus and but felt happier than before. As of today{ 12 weeks} I got up to literally 100mg between 5am and 3pm. In the previous week the most I took was 60mg which is obviously still a lot. I didn't and don't feel remotely anxious, my heart isn't beating any faster than my initial dose weeks ago but it's clear that this is abuse and leading down and really bad road. I like this feeling of calmness too much and my self medicating is foolish. I need to stop NOW. So here I am putting it in words so I can see what I've been doing and to read other posts so to see if I can relate to anyone and how to get back on track without this double edge sword medication. Im sure it's great for people that have more control, but I guess that isn't me in this case. I don't drink, smoke or do any other type of drugs so I don't have experience with what withdrawals will be like, but from what I've read I'm not looking forward to it. Thanks for listening.