Frank B
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Posts posted by Frank B
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12 hours ago, oswhid said:
Frank, can I ask a question? If you did have all the motivation, drive and focus you wanted, would you be able to earn enough from your business if you stuck to a somewhat normal work schedule - roughly 8-5, 5 days a week? Or are you saying that if only you could be motivated to work all the time 24/7 like you use to, then you could make enough. Maybe there is your answer.
My husband is doing ok at work I think. A good nights sleep is the biggest key to surviving.. Gradually over the months, he mentions less and less about it being "hard" or having "bad days" and "good days" at work as in regard to how he feels. If he has a bad day, it's more because of what went on at work dealing with office politics, incompetence, etc - typical corporate crap. But he has never talked to me in great detail about it so he may still struggle more than he says.
Yes I can make a very good living working normal hours. Problem is self motavation to promote my business like I did in the past. I'm more of a wait until they call me approach which is not productive. Glad your husband is able to get by at work you may ask him really how is it going. For me at 15 months it's really hard to accept I have not got back on track where I want to be. Feel like that's a big reason many on here have been clean for months relapse. It's getting semi better but it's a very very slow process.
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How is he doing at work? That's the big part of the problem we all struggle with sure we can enjoy life again but have trouble enjoying life when we really don't care to put in the work it takes to enjoy those things. That's my biggest issue can't focus or get the drive needed to enjoy life because I'm not making the money it takes, barely paying my bills maybe since I'm self employed it's just harder feel at times I should give up my business and have a boss to hold me accountable then again if I get my self motavation back I might really regret letting go of something I built for 14 years. It's been really hard for me to know what I should do. Sorry made this about myself I'm just curious on how people do with work off addy.
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I have no problem reading in fact read more now vs on adderall. But doing a lot of things like for instant doing some drywall repairs today take a lot longer and I must force myself to do it. On addy that stuff was fun and did it a lot faster. I totally gutted my house on addy remodeled loved it now just doing minor stuff is a challenge and that sucks I hope this gets better. Not to say it hasn't gotten better. When I first stopped addy I watched a lot of tv and read books on rehabilitation addictions etc. Tell your husband force yourself to be held accountable if you go into this lukewarm you will fail. Good luck!
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Awesome post reminds me the closer I feel to normal why the normal me never seemed good enough i just always wanted to push it to the max. But reality is the max is gone adderal quit working I need to always remind myself of this. Glad I stay on here for these kind of reminders. Congrats on your year !
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Feel we should all start a class action lawsuit against adderall manufactures espically those of you basically forced to take this stuff when you were children . It sounds like your family won't support you so you should probably go to NA meetings for help. I used a step down method which sort of helped avoid a huge crash but it was still hard once I stopped 100% for sure. I hope you find the strength to stop.
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Congrats on a year it's a battle! I sure wish this site could bring back the tickers to me was sort of a badge of honor we all had taken away.
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Speaking of working out some may remember my wallet got stolen this time last year at my gym. Justice prevailed they caught him and he was just sentenced to 15 month in jail. Hope it was worth it to him I'd say maybe he will learn his lesson but he will get probably do the same thing again wasn't his first time.
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Well hate to say this but the Wellbutrin so far has done way more for me vs working out, eating right and spending hundreds on herbal supplements. Then again I've been battling some harsh depression. I still plan on keeping up the diet and work outs for sure it helps.
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17 minutes ago, Rachel said:
I am at a point where I feel I have motivation again, but it took almost 50 days. However, the desire is selective...like I want to work out and clean a little bit, but I don't want to do my school work AT ALL. And then when I start, I can't focus at all...that's my ADHD.
Unfortunately, I am at a point where I can't take anymore time off. This is my last semester I have to graduate, it has taken me over 5 years to complete a 3 year program due to untreated ADHD and trauma. We also have bills to pay, and we only have enough left for a month, so we are in a bad spot.
I am at a point where I have to make it work. I am worried because my productivity level is so shaky, and I am coming up on a time where I need to be VERY productive. I messaged my regular psych, so hopefully he can help me answer these questions. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don't have the time to wait on anything anymore. I also can't fathom doing this without pills of some form, especially because I have ADHD.
Has anyone else been in this position?
Yes I do understand but also understand going back won't solve the problem it pretty much stopped working for me. Thankfully I found something that is actually helping.
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Thanks for the bump. I believe the chemical imbalance is off so much that a healthy lifestyle alone cannot over come the way we feel. I say this after feeling more relief in a couple weeks being on Wellbutrin vs months of strict dieting and intense work outs. I still will carry out the diet and work out routines being healthy is priceless. Maybe others are different but after 15 months I had to try something different so far feeling a little better not as depressed and getting more done. I'm still not where I wanna be but better then I was.
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Wow that's one way to do it nice you can contact your psych by email mine had to call the office leave message with the nurse. Feel free to post here often contact me direct if you feel the need I'm not a counselor by any means but know support is a big tool in this battle.
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29 minutes ago, oswhid said:
My husband didn't flush his pills until he was two months in. He was very adamant about it but wouldn't say why. It wasn't until later until I figured it out. He normally got three months supply at a time. He didn't want to flush them until he had made it to the next refill date in case he changed his mind.
Hey important thing is he did it and that's awesome it's a big step.
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11 hours ago, Smhjen said:
I know it's hard. I took my last adderall sept 21st not that I'm counting or anything lol I did taper after I failed cold turkey once. Tapering was hard but for me it was better than cold turkey because I didn't have that annoying fog brain thing.
youre still pretty early.. it takes time. I actually have a bottle of leftover pills that I can't seem to throw away but I can't make myself take one even on the days I so desperately want to. It sucks.
the thing that really keeps me from taking one is thinking about how far I've come even if it's not huge. I think about going backwards and starting all over and all that pain and misery reliving it.. it would be like I suffered through all that for nothing. Why go backwards?
Keep looking and moving forward. I know it's hard, believe me. Sometimes I have good days sometimes I have bad.. starting to wonder if I'm bipolar Lol I notice though when I actuallly force myself out of the house and get outside, I'm in a better mood and don't feel so lazy and down.
How long were u on for? How much?
I know this drug has made me bipolar I'm up and down all the time mostly down but getting better. So what is your goal here Smhjen? You just trying to quit for a few months then give in? If you keep that bottle around I'm 99.9% sure you will relapse. The only way I made it 15 months by not having any around period. If you truely want to be done for good I'd flush those pills down the toilet today it changed my view totally once I did that and knew it's real this time no going back. Of course I could always find a new doctor get a new script etc but giving in to that spur of the moment temptation is gone and that's huge.
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Funny that's how I got on this stuff. My son was in 2nd grade given it by a doctor to help in school and he was like strung out on it. I thought wonder what it does if I'm giving it to him I should know what it's like so I tried it. Of course I got him off it immediately knew it wasn't good for him but for me o shit I was a superman got my own script.
I would warn teenagers about it ultimately it's up to them I can't stop them but at least give out the info.
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Glad people are engaging on here been going through some hard times but things seem to be getting a little better. I think people are so wrapped up in themselves these days they don't notice. Majority of contact these days done via email ,text or social media it seems. I know people thought I was a very hard worker with not a lot of patience. Not sure what people think now but obviously I don't brag about not doing shit with my life besides eating right and working out but that does only so much. I have high expectations for myself and just growing impatient but know it's getting better. Guess just have to deal with being broke awhile longer while I build up my work ethic again.
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Look like overpiced supplements that are trying to promise adderall results bet its not much different than 5hr energy ingredients.
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Think you picked a good time to quit with spring around the corner. The sunlight really plays a big role I even recall when I was taking addy I normally took less in the spring and summer time. It's a long journey look at it like a navy seal boot camp a lot try only a few succeed it's how bad you want it. I still must remind myself why I did everyday why I visit here so often. It's not like stopping any other drug out there but u can use the same tools NA promotes to help quit. Also don't worry about the meetings im pretty shy but after a couple of not saying anything I told my story to a room of strangers.
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5 hours ago, bluemoon said:
Keep us updated Frank. I hope the Wellbutrin helps. May be something I want to try also.
Well I think overall if you can make it without its for the better. I honestly do not beleive its going to solve all my problems but just help in a small way getting out of the deep depression.
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YogiChris thanks for your post means a lot at a loss for words about your childhood just horrible. I have a neighbor with a grandson who comes over from time to time good kid. He was dealt that same hand a couple years ago just horrible.
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You can be the president of the United States and not know what the hell you are doing. Just play it off like you do and run over anyone saying your wrong. Ha sorry try not to get political on here but it's pretty much the truth.
It's hard just make it however u can I don't always buy this finding your dream I enjoy what I do but still hate doing it most of the time I'm just freaking lazy off adderall. Sorry not much help but I can relate.
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15 hours ago, bluemoon said:
Sounds like you have a lot on your plate!! I hope things settle down for you soon. Life can get crazy at times and it's a lot to handle. Kudos to you for going back to school. I have contemplated going back, but I think the stress of a big work load and busy schedule/exams would be way too big of a trigger for me.
Anyway, I have been feeling super shitty for a while, way before I cut out the caffeine. Was thinking maybe my excessive caffeine intake wasn't helping my situation. Trying to see if I feel any better without downing a massive amount of coffee every day. I know I'm just depressed but I'm not sure how to get out of this funk. And I refuse to go the antidepressant route.
But yes, I'm definitely thankful Adderall is a pain in the ass to get your hands on, and I'm glad l I told my doctor to never prescribe it to me again, otherwise I probably would have relapsed many times by now haha.
For me the depression has been too much to bare on my own. Most days I've often considered suicide as a easy answer. I feel like my productive life is over and going back to adderal is not a solution. But all the supplements , prayer, dieting and exercise has not helped my gloom outlook. So I did research on my own and picked out a depression pill I feel has the least negative side effects for me. I went to my doctor and asked to be put on wellbutrin xl and now I'm on it. Its sort of twisted how we get meds no longer can you expect a doctor to research you pretty much decide for yourself. But I knew going to the doctors with no suggestions the first recommendation would be a ssri which I had terrible side effects maybe it works for some but just not me and has risky side effects. I sort of feel I'm giving up in some ways taking a mood altering prescription again but my suicidal thoughts were a big red flag I must try something. Been on it now a couple days moods a bit better energy up a small amount. I have not had any negative side effects so far. Maybe I'll need to be on this for a year or more maybe the rest of my life not sure but I had to try something.
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Just because one complains to fellow addicts about the struggles does not mean we sit around all day in misery complaining about this invisible mountain and that it's so hard to conquer. Reality is we have no idea how big the mountain is if I could see the peak would make this so much better knowing how long of journey it might be. I know it's not productive to complain but sometimes feels good to let it go. I'm not a counselor not a sponsor just a guy who is having a hard time getting his life back in order and doing everything to live a healthy and productive life but still just not working to my expectations yet.
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Well that's possible and a good thing your body realizes it's poison. I wish that my body felt like that thinking about adderall it should.
10 months and counting!
in General Discussion
Posted
Yes I can make a very good living working normal hours. Problem is self motavation to promote my business like I did in the past. I'm more of a wait until they call me approach which is not productive. Glad your husband is able to get by at work you may ask him really how is it going. For me at 15 months it's really hard to accept I have not got back on track where I want to be. Feel like that's a big reason many on here have been clean for months relapse. It's getting semi better but it's a very very slow process.