Frank B
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Posts posted by Frank B
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I recall on my height of adderal abuse my jaw popped all the time. Even asked my dentist if something was wrong but went unsolved. I guess that I got used to it or ignored it. Ever since I stopped adderall the jaw popping stopped. Guess I was so tense on addy it caused my jaw to lock up. Just little things like that come to mind the further I'm off this stuff.
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Yeah me and blue moon both around 7th months freaked out lol.
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Think if you get off it come back on here a month sober read this you'll know why it's a good move. I'm not going to lie it sucks quitting and takes along time to get over it but the option of staying on it for life is no option unless you don't want to live much longer. This shit fucks up your heart older you get. Not many 60 year old adderal addicts around mainly because your body can't take it die early.
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Agree with Smhjen this is not like quitting drinking, cocaine or opiates. You have a problem like any of those you'll soon see the benefits of being off them. It's been a year for me off addy still waiting to see them. Yes I'm healthier better with my kids for the most part but I'm not the hard worker i was. Being healthy and able to enjoy life doesn't pay the fucking bills sorry just being honest maybe shit will change for me. Not to say I'd be in a better place not quitting I was on the road to a early grave but just feel like when the fuck can I get some self will back? Sorry this is shitty advice I should take a break from even this site for awhile until things turn for the better not sure why I even look on here I already know what each day will say quitting sucks and it takes a long ass time to recover. Eat like a health nut train like a Olympic athlete and you recover faster blah blah blah
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I wish adderall did not have bad side effects still be on it. From your post it doesn't even seem like he's trying to win you back more less keeping you around on his terms. Sure you know this and just want to hear it from others so hope this confirms how you already feel.
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My fiancé had her a script I took mine then hers when I ran out she knew about it we were both addicted me a lot more though. I quit and told her she had to also and she did. No way can I be around it will not allow it near me. Even if your wife and step mom do not abuse it like you just think of it is they can control how much cocaine they use daily to function so that really does not make them on a higher level then you. This shit is addictive as fuck and should not be prescribed to anyone for any reason. If your going to stop your wife will need to also. Me and my fiancé have had lots of issues but us being both on adderall made it worse things are slowly getting better we will see where it goes.
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Congrats Bluemoon! Yes it's been a difficult journey the last year for us. I know right now I have some very tough choices in life to make. But I'm ok with that its time to stop worrying about wrong choices past mistakes and take control of my life.
Side note decided to change my avatar don't want to look at myself sarcastically as a junkie anymore 😉
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Been reading this and has a lot of good advice feel some of the exercises difficult because I'm trying to distinguish between the sober me and addict version. So many years of taking this stuff has really pushed those emotions so far away it's hard to know how I felt prior to taking adderall. Id say for some on here who started this drug as a child near impossible but it's worth trying really a great tool.
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Quitting this is a marathon I see many people on here have great success in the early weeks but then never hear back or see similar relapse post. This isn't easy and even if you feel good to start obviously side effects are to overwhelming to continue life without it. I really wish I had the answer one year out and I still wonder when I'll be my best. The only thing I can say about quitting is you have to be stubborn look at adderall as the enemy don't let it win. Last week because of horrible rag weed allergies I took another Allegra. I felt uncomfortable felt I could barely communicate with a customer this actually made me happy because I know stimulants are not the answer if I feel like that with allergy medication couldn't imagine adderall again. I threw away the rest of my allergy pills would rather sneeze all day vs feeling high anxiety and unable to slow my thoughts down. I think a good diet exsersize limiting alcohol or quitting all can help recovery. But I don't think they are the cure time alone is the ultimate solution and depending how much you took and how long determine your recovery period. At a year I have now felt small increments of self will and more often now I'm telling myself do these task then take a break sort of going back to childhood do your chores then you can play and that's your reward. On adderall you lose that thought process because work is your fun and that's a total shock to your system once that's taken away you basically need to retrain yourself like a child again.
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Thanks for sharing even at about a year free I'm still struggling to be where and who I
want to be. Maybe this will help I'll definitely check it out.
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Sounds like me and you same boat although you have a year on me and that honestly scares me. What is the blog for just a hobby? How are things going otherwise work etc? I'm just asking because I've been self employeed for years ever since I quit addy I can't kick myself into gear I work when it comes in enjoy what I do just not the office side. I'm looking at returing to work for a former employer. I'm a little nervous that I won't kick my ass into gear but if I have someone holding me accountable daily it should force me to.
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Yeah president I'm sure will do what's best for us and not the big insurance companies lol. Dudes a nut and sociopath sorry try not to get political on here but he seems to just promote hate and intolerance. He already started to be in with the lobbyist. Said in 60 minutes interview "Well they are everywhere in Washington you can't escape it." Well no shit lobbyist push hard in Washington who would have thought that? Ok I'm done let's hope for the best and pray America doesn't self implode.
On another note thanks for sharing Erin as always your great. I'd vote you for president bet you'd do better than Trump or Hillary!
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Thats your addiction talking need to ask yourself who is control? Sounds like your addiction is to me. Screw your addiction get mad at it look at what it brings with it, your addiction is your enemy not your friend. Your strong enough to beat that little voice in your head telling you keep that bottle , telling you take a few to help lose weight. If you do not know I was addicted to adderall plus OxyContin. Today near my year anniversary of stopping both I had one of my biggest challenges. I don't want to go into details but I had a big bottle of oxy in front of my face in fact had to move it to complete my work no one would have known but me if I helped myself to one. Thought to myself "I could just take one today and be ok right won't get addicted?" But the rational side took over I knew that I would feel like crap soon as I took it. As it was wearing off I would be mad at myself that I gave up a year for a buzz. I would say fuck it and seek more Oxy then I would probbably try to get back on addy again and start the path to hell all over one pill. Get that temptation out of your life toss that shit in the toilet today! If you keep it around it will win in the end guaranteed.
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Congrats and thank you for sharing.
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holy shit frank! almost at a year!!
Yeah times gone by fast last couple months wish I had more to show but guess important thing is I'm still clean. I should have smoked crack would have been a shorter recovery , ha jk crack is whack don't do it.
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"Unfortunately, the 90 day period of "no expectations of production" ended. I'm back in the job market and turning to nasal inhalers for motivation"
I understand where your coming from. One day I took some allergy medicine and felt like really motivated thought things were turning around until realized it was the behind the counter kind with the "D" in it. Although I felt better realized it's cheating and puts me right back on the path of craving adderall. I think when you take that stuff it may combat your brains healing process so you might toss it away to be safe. I know really sucks quitting something that helps but if you really want to recover it's necessary.
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Welcome and congrats your on a long hard journey but people are here to help and suffer along with u lol. Your prescription strength, age and time on it is pretty similar to mine (9yrs on 60 mg day it I'm 38 now). Coming close to my year anniversary I can say Ive made many changes for the better but yes it is a slow process. Check out PAWS on the internet 'YouTube has some videos' it wasn't until recently did I look into it wish I did earlier. I think understanding what is going on in your head and how to avoid getting stuck in a addict way of thinking is a powerful tool.
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decided to delete what I wrote think I'm just going crazy whatever
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i realy should quit drinking because being drunk is always when i get the worst addy cravings. but its tough because its everywhere, and having a few beers is so easy to justify to yourself
For sure Doge don't risk it stop drinking.
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Thanks and for the record Robin Williams was a SSRI suicide like so many others taking those pills that claim to help depression but only make it worse. Of course this was not brought up in mainstream media like all the other SSRI caused suicides.
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I wish at a year in a half I saw the big picture of what this was doing. Your still at a relatively low dose and not been on it that long. If you continue to use like all of us you'll end up at the max 60 mg a day (although seen some get higher which is crazy) but anyways u get the higher dose and years will slip away and you'll then be in a much worse place vs now stopping. It is hard and it does make you lazy not taking them. Just know one day it won't work sure it will make you get out of bed but the only thing you'll care about is taking your pills or in my case adding pills like oxy to give you that extra euphoria that adderal no longer produces.
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Glad I could help don't be ashamed of this you were prescribed something you should not have been in the first place you can do this!
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Seeing a shrink is good. If you can blow off all the insanity this world creates and be perfectly fine with it all those are the crazy people. My God look at this freaking election makes me feel somewhat better you can be a complete lunatic and be president or a total liar either way it's crazy.
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Ive been reading a self help book that has been a good inspiration to get out of my "funk".
One section focuses on the destructive nature of the "Shoulds"
Quote:"Thinking with the shoulds is one of the most potent ways that human beings inadvertently turn up the volume of misery. This is a very common thought pattern, unfortunately, really never helps change the situation or to motivate people. Rather, it becomes a source of harsh self-criticism and greatly intensifies feelings of helplessness."
I found this section very in line with my thoughts and trying to change that way of thinking for myself.
I should be more motivated off adderall what is wrong with me?
vs
I don't want to feel unmotivated coming off this powerful drug what can I do now to start changing things?
Anyways the book is called 'Managing Your Moods' by John D. Preston I picked a copy up at my local library. It's a good book if your like me and beat yourself down all the time but want to change.
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2 years and 2 months - still struggling
in General Discussion
Posted
Be careful asking a doctor for help how many of us got on this stuff. They often look to bandage a problem with a pill which will may only result in more problems further down the road. Need to find the root of the problem something I try hard myself to figure out with my depression If I could afford a good therapist I'd go that route. I know exersize helps also sunlight and try eating right. If my fiancé who I hate would give up carbs I'd do that but she won't so do my best to limit them they make me tired after eating them.
Wait did I say hate my fiancé? Hmm maybe just found my problem lol.