[One year down!]

Congrats!! Big accomplishment I'd be curious to know the percentage of people on here who have stopped but not made a year mark. Although maybe it's best we don't might be depressing to those who are starting out. Keep it going feel free to send me a message anytime. 

[Same Shit (kinda?) Same Toilet]

Big thing keeping me from ever really consider seriously going back is stories like yours. Although it sucks and your still trying to get yourself on the path to freedom your helping others know it or not by sharing and appreciate that.

Have you ever been straight up with your parents about your problem? Were they the ones who got you on this stuff when you were younger? They should understand either way why you started and how serious this is. Yes you may need to hold off on college for awhile. But honestly you have to get your life right or none of that will do you any good. I'd start by telling them the truth ,say you feel it's serious and need drug rehab/ counseling because you've lost hope in your life on adderall and keep abusing your prescription but want to stop using it all together. If you have that option you better jump on it right away. I had to pay out of pocket for my own rehab that's how badly I wanted off. Some people can quit and not need that support but if you've tried quitting multiple times on your own it's safe to say you probably can't do it alone. Wish you luck. 

[i need to know whats normal]

Your story sounds a lot like mine I always loved stimulants etc. You mention you have tried to quit a couple times tell yourself your done flush your pills down the toilet. But then after couple days feeling normal you give in take a pill to complete some task. My question where did that pill come from? Or maybe you did flush them but still refilled your script? Im not like trying to judge I've been there myself. To really stop you can't go into this fight lukewarm. It's all or nothing u must have none around , must burn your refill scripts tell your doctor your a addict stop giving you refills and have no friends around you who use adderall. It feels drastic and it is! In order to really quit that's how committed you must be. This drug is very powerful and will be calling your name for months after you stop u can't let it win and if you still have some laying around or script ready to be filled well , the pills honestly already won. It's not like saying no to cocaine  when u did coke was it to clean the house or do school work etc? No probably not it's a party drug adderall is a work / "smart" drug that's why it's so fucking hard to stop! But sounds like you hit the wall of the benefits like it did all of us and you'll never get back those glory days it gave when u first started. Now all it will do is make you scattered brained and your only task will be taking and finding more adderall not really getting shit done. That's how it was for me towards the end and on top of that I found myself in a bad opiate pill addiction last two years. I was basically making up for that  euphoric feeling adderall once gave. Finally found myself as a full blown junkie and knew it was either stop, die or get arrested finding/buying oxy pills illegally. 

Good luck it's not easy like others say attend a NA group. Personally I did not do all the steps etc but still attended and it helped. Also this site is a life saver doubt I would have been able to stop without it. 

 

[Hey bro got new max at the gym.]

I'll just post a video of tonight's work out.

 

[Hey bro got new max at the gym.]

Well after about a year straight hitting the gym maxed out 3 reps of 230 pounds bench press this evening. Know that's not like a big number for some guys but for me I never even got that in my early 20's when I worked out pre adderal, I'm about 180lbs myself. Also now can do about 10 chin ups in a row or 8 pull-ups feel working on those helped me gain more strength vs anything else I did. When I first started working out I used the pull up assist machine but worked my way off it after a couple of months it did its job. Anyways just sharing because I've been through a lot in this recovery must thank the gym for the help and you can reach new heights of this drug. 

[Beyond luck, right place and time]

If your going to quit your husband will also need to. If not it will be damn near impossible to stay off it long term. 

[No im not taking it easy thank you.]

Addicted no but will you rely on it ? yes. What I mean by that is you won't get a high by taking more than subscribed but u really won't have the urge either. If you take it you will rely on it you can't just stop cold turkey without some side effects headache depression come back etc. The side effects on this are next to nothing and if anything boost your sex drive it's really the only antidepressants that will do that.

I really did not want to ever take another medication and took over a year plus before I gave in. Look at it this way adderal is a 45 magnum  and Wellbutrin is maybe 22 caliber if that. It does have some stimulant effects if I took this right after I quit adderal doubt it would have done anything for me. It has been used for people quitting meth so it definitely falls in line for us. I did the strict diet, exersize and still do but it was never enough to get me over that hump but I took a lot of adderal for several years also. 

[No im not taking it easy thank you.]

1 minute ago, Nicole88 said:

Lol @ the supplements. I've spent a ton of money on supplements since quitting and im pretty sure it's all BS too. Sometimes I try and convince myself it's working tho lol!!

I wasted way too much money on that crap but I think for some if you take something and it really helps your body was lacking whatever it was. But if your like me spent hundreds on many different supplements and felt hardly anything your just wasting your money. 

[No im not taking it easy thank you.]

I'm not here to please the masses not here to say follow me. What I'm here to say if you find something you enjoy and can still work your ass off not on adderall? Answer is yes you can do it after you quit! How long? Seems a year plus a couple months for me at least. Do you need to meditate and stay on a strict diet ? No you don't but watching what you eat and working out if your not doing physical labor helps. Do you take supplements? No it's all bs I do take Wellbutrin it helped me out a lot u might look into it if your passed a year but keep struggling. Does prayer work ? No didn't do much for me hope a God is around but until I die I sure don't know neither does anyone else! Hope this hits home for someone who was struggling like me it's a bitch to quit I'm not home free I'd say until I'm on my death bed that's the only time I can say I will never go back. 

[11 month check-in]

His emotions may never completely change back to pre adderall. I know a lot of things for me will never be the same I still at times feel very emotionless in some situations on the other hand I can go off over something very small. 

[Faded memories]

On 4/10/2017 at 7:41 AM, LILTEX41 said:

Frank,

I just want to say you are making so much progress!!  You sound like you're finally getting to a better place in recent times and it truly makes me happy to see this!!  

I can imagine that does hurt, but you are present for them now and in the future and that's all that matters going forward.  They are lucky to have their real dad back in a healthy state of mind.  I'm sure they are very happy about that!

Thanks its been getting a lot better but I always want more that is what scares me.

[One Month Sober - Just Relapsed :(]

Just try again most people on here have failed once or twice some even more. You can try a counselor but I'd find one who has some knowledge of this addiction might be hard to find. I'd reccommend finding a NA group they are free and it just helps to listen to other addicts and share your story once your comfortable. Good luck!

[Weird Brain Feeling?]

On 4/6/2017 at 5:12 PM, ZayKayWill said:

I have the same thing.  Not sure if it's the same as yours but it literally feels like there's a giant bubble full of water in my head on the back/right side of my head.  It's been like this for 2 years.  All the doctors just tell me it's anxiety, though.  I really don't know.

Maybe take up boxing somone might pop that bubble for you.,, just saying who knows. 

[Faded memories]

Anyone else look back on photos of formal adderall lives and wonder wtf ? See so many pics of my children younger and feel I missed so much I don't even recall those days was so fucked up on addy and you know it hurts. But even in my fucked up state of mind  I provided and loved them the same just really wish I recall those days better it sucks like I was there but wasn't . 

[Adderall and Alcohol]

For my all night benders usually had gallon of oj bottle of vodka or coconut rum usually buy the 80 proof , handful of oxi pills and bottle of adderall. I was lucky never cut my hand off half the time I was working with no sleep on all the above while using table saws etc. Then once I was ready to sleep hit the Xanax. How I never died or had kidney or liver damage never know just lucky I guess. 

[Suppressed addicted nation]

I'm so sick of seeing heroin overdoses families destroyed by drugs they would have never taken if it wasn't for oxicotin . Fucking everyone is getting hooked on this crap but powers that be say it's fine but pot for managing pain "No that's stuff is horrible dangerous and a gateway drug " not one fucking recorded death from pot on record. Also never heard of anyone not able to get pot so decide to go score some heroin. This is big Pharma holding pot back and stupid ass right wing conservatives thinking it is the 'devil's drug'. I know adderal shouldn't be legal either it sure fucked up most lives on here that's for sure. Rant over hope everyone is doing ok. 

[Today is a good day !]

On 3/24/2017 at 10:22 PM, bluemoon said:

That sounds awesome Frank!!!! Looking forward to seeing how it goes. Hope this is the big break you've been waiting for

 Me too have some anxiety about all this but time to put on my big boy pants and work boots on do what I do best. Off addy just not able to make myself do the office side but still enjoy getting my hands dirty. I hope this works out it will really push me more than I can push myself done having excuses sitting at home doing nothing half the time I feel empty worthless a bum looking for hand outs this should solve a lot of my problems.

[Today is a good day !]

Well got a call from a company who was interested in hiring me and buying my business . They want me to do a 30 day trial see how it works out for us on both ends. Think this is what I've been waiting for man it's raining here today but for me suns shining! 

[Today is a good day !]

So far not making money today but dammit I feel  good! Took kid to school got the gym had a good work out. Last night my bb team played out of their damn minds now heading to the elite  8 tournament this weekend! Just thought I'd share since I share too many bad days lol. Maybe if I'd focus less on how much money I'm not making everyday and being happy the money will come my way. 

[How many of us are 100% ADD ?]

3 hours ago, Sunnie said:

Hey Frank,

I think its really difficult to say. I myself got a pretty thurough diagnosis including an EEG and multiple tests. However, at the time I was diagnosed I also had an eating disorder and my family life was chaos since my older brother was struggeling with heroin addiction. I am really beginning to question the validity of the diagnosis in general. The more i learn about psychology and working the 12-step program im beginning to see the correlation between environmental factors, parenting etc as the most plausible explaination for concentration problems.. 

Unlike the ability to say what blood type you are the labeling of ADD seems to be in the eye of the beholder. 

[How many of us are 100% ADD ?]

See a lot of different post on here regards to having ADD and some of us  just telling the doctor what they want to hear. I don't know how to make a poll but if someone does maybe you can. For myself I'm not really sure I might have had slight ADD always struggled in school etc but I knew also what to say. I'm just curious long term how recovery is different from those of us who knew for fact they were ADD , those who weren't sure and those who knew they weren't but faked the symptoms to get this drug.

[70 Days Off Adderall And Psych Prescribes Concerta]

Well is this really a shock to people? I mean you get hooked on heroin they give you fucking methadone then your hooked on that. Truth is rehab is a money making business your best interest is not always really a concern. I recall when I had my breaking point and wanted to be seen  immediately I was denied by everybody. How do people actually think addicts going to get better if they have to wait a two weeks just to see someone. I even walked into a Salvation Army rehab I was desperate some rude ass lady over the intercom kept yelling "What you want!" People at a breaking point need help that day but it's not available I guess unless you go 5150 I felt like it but knew I could not afford a trip to the hospital. All this when Obama was president now shits only gonna get worse cutting funding for all programs to line the pockets of the rich. People who don't see how fucked we are just being blind . I mean seriously cutting off after school programs for inner city because grades aren't better? We are going to have more drug addicts in America soon shits hitting the fan glad I'm off addy I would probably be out of control with all this bs. 

[Day 65 Severe Depression Kicks In]

At 3 months heck yes I was! It's gotten a little better but my biggest issue now is ambition direction I feel lost. I think if you tell yourself constantly that you have a heart problem you might actually get one by  telling yourself you do. Feel that's my own issue in recovery keep telling myself I have issues with drive ambition motivation is because I stopped adderall. If I can overcome my own thoughts I might be maybe free it's hard to do if I'm successful at it  I'll let you what worked. But if you really feel your heart problem is not in your head for sure go get seen asap. 

[Day 65 Severe Depression Kicks In]

3 hours ago, Subtracterall said:

Thanks Frank. I do work out but not at a gym. I've been reading about heart failure and I do have some of the symptoms.  

when I think that I may have done damage I get horrible anxiety - like right now.  

I feel like at 65 days I should not be this fatigued when I wake up in the morning.  Are you still fatigued at all?

[Day 65 Severe Depression Kicks In]

I abused the heck out of this drug for years and knock on wood my heart seems to be fine. Do you exercise or go to a gym? If so do you check your heart rate on the machines? That might be a good place to start but I'm no doctor but for me that's how I judged where my heart was at. I never had a constant rash but sometimes when I was dehydrated from non stop adderall abuse my neck and face sort sort of broke out in a rash. I feel the physical side effects of adderall go away pretty quickly at least for me but the mental side smh goes on a lot longer. At 3 months I was still seeing a therapist and it helped if I could still afford to see one I never would have stopped. Hope you feel better the struggle is real!