I can't believe it's me...

[NurseAddy 23]

@Mark S Thank you for your reply. I can definitely relate to how it helped me knock out crazy work schedules.....until it didn’t. I thankfully haven’t experienced any anxiety or psychosis yet, but it’s not something I want to work towards either. Congratulations on being a year and a half sober. What a feat! I hope I can say the same in 2 years. 

[NurseAddy 23]

@demi24 Thank you for your reply again. Sadly, I’ve flushed those bastards numerous times, just doesn’t stop me from refilling. My PCP appointment is next week and since I flushed my pills, I couldn’t get them even if I wanted to. Great idea though. I’m currently on a Keto diet or I’d LOVE to eat my emotions. What makes me happy? My life should but I’m not sure if the adderall has ruined that or if I’m missing something? 

[SeanW 421]

On 10/9/2019 at 0:47 PM, NurseAddy said:

@SeanW Thank you very much for the reply. I too don’t want to have to lose everything before I realize my mistakes and my addiction. I hate Adderall as soon as I take it but it never stops me from refilling the damn thing. What gives? I can’t target why I want it nor the trigger behind the refill. I have no will power, plain and simple. I will keep fighting the addiction, nonetheless. Thank you again. 

That’s how addiction works. It’s just our chemical imbalances brain doing anything it can for relief and it will do whatever it takes to get us to do something. This is why we have a conscience to battle things like this when we know it’s not right for us. It’s our only hope to not be robots stuck in a cycle of addiction. 

[NurseAddy 23]

@SeanW Thank you for that. It’s what I needed to read for getting the courage to tell my doc not to prescribe me it anymore on Tuesday. Here’s to hoping I keep up that momentum! 

[SeanW 421]

7 hours ago, NurseAddy said:

@SeanW Thank you for that. It’s what I needed to read for getting the courage to tell my doc not to prescribe me it anymore on Tuesday. Here’s to hoping I keep up that momentum! 

I “hope” you do. Although it’s not a matter of hope. It’s in your hands. You have the choice. Make the right one. You won’t regret it in the long run but you make the wrong one and you will most definitely regret it. I wish you the best. You don’t deserve to go through making the wrong one. Please give it a break and keep us updated on here. I was on here five times a day at least for my first six months to a year. 

 

Much love 

Cameron

[NurseAddy 23]

@SeanW Thank you again, Cameron. I definitely have the angel and the devil on each shoulder but with support from here as well home, I’m favoring the angel. Thanks and thanks again. Really, I appreciate your time in replying to me. It helps all too much.