Bubbagump99

Sigh. I know I said in the beginning I didn't want to take an antidepressant when she suggested it last time bc I just didn't want to jump from pill to pill. However, I'm feeling really bad.. cry a lot.. Exhausted, depressed.. getting fatter isn't helping hhaha. Fml For those of you that went on antidepressants afterwards.. Was it worth it, did it help? Do they make you gain weight???? If they do, I'm out completely.. Really don't need any help in that dept lol My apt is tomorrow.. So any feedback would be appreciated. Btw I'm down to 5mg after being on 30mg for like 8 years smh

Lol sorry idk why I'm just seeing this reply of yours smh I actually just had a session last night. I told her, I can't stand coming here and talking. Nor, do I want to be here. But I'm here bc everyone tells me I need therapy.. Lol There are seriously about 5 ppl who have told me I needed to goto therapy.. Even tho I don't want to be there, I need to force myself to do the work and get through it. Last night she told me she wants me to start writing stuff down. How I feel and stuff. She said you would be surprised what comes out when you write and the things that come out and what you find out about yourself. 🙄 She always wants me to write letters to people I have 'unfinished business' with.. Not to actually give the letters to those people, but to get it all out. I honestly don't want to do this bullcrap, but I'm gonna try. Tired of living in my past and having it affect my future. time to move on and be happy. Wish I wasn't so stubborn all those years and did this earlier. I asked her yesterday I'm like well that's why you're here, can't you just fix me? That's your job LOL I would suggest you start writing too. She's probably right, and I have heard about people doing this before.. At this point I feel like I have nothing to lose..

And that crap is nasty. Idk how you guys drink this stuff. Down to 5mgs right now for another week and a half and then I'm done.. .. so tired in the mornings. is there anyway to make this stuff taste good? Lol Still waiting for the caffeine to hit me, and nothing🙄

I'm so sorry for your loss. I took a preg test in December and one came out positive. I was more scared of not being able to take addy anymore than that fact that I was pregnant and in a crazy situation. Long story short, it must of been a false positive. But that was a wake up call for me. So I started tapering down in January. I want to be able to maybe have a family one day, and you can't do that while you're on this poison. Hopefully the both of us will have a healthy family when we're both healed and the time is right. Hugs to you xoxo

Yeah, I don't feel worse when lowering doses as oppose to when I tried to quit cold turkey. That just felt like death, literally. I think I'm gonna do 5s for two weeks and then 2.5 for two weeks and be done. We shall see. Just so I don't go up.. And so far so good. 😊

So I'm down to 5mgs from my 30.. And still alive to talk about it.. Go figure. 🙄 I'm so lazy.. Tired, and depressed.. Not just from ad but bc of things going on in my life. Debating if I should join this crazy program at this gym nearby. It's for 42 days.. not a normal gym.. seems like a fun boot camp if you can imagine that. Feel like I want to but I just wanna go home and laydown everyday after work hshaha Feel like I need someone to force me to get off my a$$ sigh

I had night sweats in the early stages of tapering. can't remember how long they lasted for, but they were definitely there😨

I'm in therapy.. I hate it lol just bc I hate talking about things. Use to do Coke a lot and went to ad instead.. I've tapered down from 30 and now to 5. I started in January. I really don't think therapy would hurt you, or make things worse. Sometimes the chick brings up valid points🙄

Bluemoon, Have you tried eating a healthy diet with no carbs and limited sugar? I know it sounds ridiculous, but I've found when I eat like that, I have more energy and way less depressed. if you haven't tried it, I'd give it a shot for just a couple days.

Frankie- you quit cold turkey from 60mg? 😑

Hey bluemoon- how long were you on addy for & on what dosage? I know it's god awful hard... I'm tapering but can honestly say I'm scared of the day I put that last bit of pill in my mouth. I tried to quit cold turkey last year but literally couldn't function, especially at work. If I was a student and quit during summer break, that could of been possibly, but not when I actually have to live..

In terms of everything... Also, how did you feel emotionally? There was a month where I just felt paralyzed. that's the best way I could describe it to someone.

If you guys had to explain your withdrawals to someone who didn't understand, what would you say? How would you describe it?

Congrats! Best of luck to you & your baby

gonna be on 5mgs soon... crazy how much I already feel like my old self.. never thought I'd say this, but I kinda missed her.

It's funny. It's like the pills turn your brain on, but turn your heart off. If that makes sense.. Which I'm sure to you guys, it does.

See, it's the 'crash' too that happens afterwards that just makes you a heartless b*tch... I've tried explaining I'm not that person anymore, but they just don't get it... Feel like these pills have ruined so many good things in my life..

Lol congrats on the pup😊 Puppies are like having a baby. give it a few weeks, you'll be sleeping and feeling better. 😊

Congrats on getting this far. I'm tapering down so I understand all the things that are going through your mind. It's like it's exciting but scary at the same time. But don't doubt yourself.and even tho the gym 'sounds' exhausting, do it. You will feel better. I promise. I'd bet money on it. Remember, you probably didn't get this way in 2 months, so you're not gonna 'heal' in two months. God knows the waiting and the time SUCKS balls but in the longrun you will be a better and happier person. We both will 😊

I've recently cut ties with someone who I was in love with. This guy says I didn't know how to show love, pretty much claimed I was incapable of it. I tried to explain to him it was bc of the adderall. and now that I'm tapering down I can honesty say I feel more, and I actually feel feelings. when you guys (especially any girls) when you were on adderall, was it hard for you to be 'nice', to show 'feelings', to show any emotion? To show that you cared? I feel like adderall not made me feel anything, and now that I'm coming back to 'reality' and 'feeling', that it's too late. Does this make sense?? :/

Hi guys. Just thought I'd post an update here. Idk if ya'll remember I started tapering down from 30mg once a day back in January. Currently down to 7.5. I feel good. Feel more tired obviously, but at least w the tapering I've been able to function at work which is hugely important. Haven't had any desire to go back up in dosage at all. Been on 7.5 for a week. Probably hold this for another week or maybe two then down to 5... it's weird. Feel a part of myself coming back to life so to speak....

That's exactly how I feel! I'm like.. I didn't end up losing my job and my apt, and being homeless etc. I can't relate to their physical stories, but then when they talk about their feelings.. I'm like oh boy, that's me to a T. I'm having a hard time admitting I'm an addict. It's like, duh, I obviously have a problem with drugs.. But am I an 'addict'? Probably.. But why can't I just admit it??? And Cassie, agree w relating to meth/Coke ppl. I don't have a sponsor and I don't know really anyone else personally that's been dependent on ad/Coke/uppers. I enjoy listening to other ppl talk when I'm at the meetings.. sometimes they bring up very good points, and then I think to myself- f* I am an addict... :/

Not sure.. I have a 30 day rx of 10mg which I'm currently down to.. I was trying to rush the taperin process at first, and went from 30-20 being ok in a couple days but when I hit 15 it was awful. Exhausted and severely depressed. Been on 10 a couple days and I feel ok. I'm really not putting a timeline on this. I think certain drops will be easier than others, so I'm just taking it day by day... By day lol I have no want to go back up in dosage though, so that makes me feel like I'm doing it right for me. U know?

Congratulations to you, that's awesome:) Well, for me I started using ad bc it was a substitute in my head for Coke. I had been using Coke on and off for years. Came close to dying a few times on it. Almost od'd on Ritalin one night too, popping it like candy and drinking. I've gone from one stimulant to another for years. And the thought of living 'stimulant free', honestly repulses me and freaks me out!

I actually went to one Friday night.. Wasn't what I expected. There were like 30 ppl there and they read outta a book for awhile.. And then they talked about their experiences. I was gonna say I was new when they asked... But felt too overwhelming... I obviously didn't talk.. except saying hi and my name.. idk.. Just trying to figure things out I guess