Motivation_Follows_Action

Well I have to google that now, because it sounds like a kind of outdoor furniture to me, but I'm sure you do! Try it tomorrow and report back!

Ha ha ha that is the weirdest most adorable compliment I think I've ever had on the internets.

oops! Yes you're right... sorry about that! But in case you're thinking I'm bullshitting I think if I remember rightly, I learned it from this amazing documentary, it's really wonderful... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HGPvs-TKLM

Hi Melody, hey could you help me for a sec - your posts are really long (very well written, of course, and it's totally my fault that my brain isn't working so brilliantly right now), could you answer the following questions? 1. How long have you been taking adderall and how much are you on 2. You said you quit for a while but you took 20mg a couple of days ago. Why? Have you taken any adderall since then? 3. Do you believe you are addicted to adder all? 4. Do you believe adderall has played a part in your decision making about your career choices and academic choices to date? 5. (same as qn 4 in a different way): Do you think if you hadn't been on adderall you may have found it easier to decide what to do with your career? Thank you so much... sorry if you've answered all of the above already... (can I blame it on ADHD ha ha not really because I don't have it...)...

Today I learned where they make the best pancakes in New York City. Ok so that's a cop out but they were pretty frickin good pancakes. Sometimes being jobless is nice. Had breakfast with a friend. http://newyork.seriouseats.com/2011/03/the-best-pancakes-in-nyc-new-york-favorite-breakfast-slideshow.html

ooh I just thought of something. This is going to sound REAAAALLLY stoooopid, but I swear it's too much fun and guaranteed to put you in a good mood if you try it. Decide before you go to bed on an accent. One you can do reasonably well... (I do a really great Indian accent, a reasonable Swedish accent and an AWFUL American accent). Set your alarm to go off on your phone with a reminder that reads, "speak in Indian accent, you crazy cat". Then, make every word out of your mouth for the first hour of the day in that accent. It will drive your family absolutely bonkers and you'll have no end of hilarity knowing that something so idiotic can cause such craziness around the house!! Scenes have gone something like this: Husband: Have you seen my blue tie? Me (in my best Irish accent): I dunno I seen it my darlin'! But I swear I'll look for ya if ya gimme a wee little peck roight 'ere on me cheek! Husband (giving sideways glance): [Pause] Wha...? Me (giving a gentle elbow nudge as I walk by): Oooh I dunno what's the mattah whit ya thismornin'. You better get yerself into ye shower over there before you get in a reeeluy baa mood n ruin ye mate's day in the office! chortles invariably ensue.... Ok so maybe I just gave away too much information about morning rituals in my household... I recognize that this could quite possibly be one of the most lame ideas to any one else ever...

Cool! And don't forget to mention the upcoming press attention - I'm sure it's a great punchline!! Let us know how it goes. Even better... record it on youtube and post it!!!!!

This is great advice. I've become so good at doing nothing. Why do today what you can put off till tomorrow, right? Speaking of which I have to go and tidy the apartment a bit as it's a pigsty - I spent the ENTIRE DAY watching movies today, InRecovery, so that should make you feel better.... (by the way, "Celeste and Jesse Forever" is a cute little slightly hipsterish romcom on TWC on-demand if you feel like veging out in front of the tee vee...)

Congrats on all those amazingly positive changes in your life... going from being a smoking, unfit speed addict to a fitter healthier clean you must be a really great feeling. Inspiring! I can't remember if you're married (I think you are?) or not but I love to do spoons in bed with husband for 20 mins or so before having to get out of bed, it really brightens my mood, especially in the winter. It's hard to get up, of course, but the cuddles are really comforting.

Sky you're so right about this forum and it's digressions, I hadn't put it down to the ADD but you're probably right! Speaking of which... re the looking forward/looking back/happiness concept, it's interesting. I thought I heard that too somewhere... that people who are foreward-thinking are more happy than those who "live in the past". But I was reflecting on it and I don't know that whoever said this had considered anxious people in to the equation. In the worst moments of my anxiety I am TERRIFIED of the future, so much to the point that it can pause any ability to make decisions. Does anyone else suffer this? Sometimes I wonder if I went on adderall binges to try to avoid worrying about the future... when I was high, I couldn't concentrate on anything other than the project right in front of me, so it avoided any big important thinking about things that matter, like the future. And QO, I totally agree with you about dogs. They did a study once about the instances of when oxycontin (the "love" and bonding hormone) is released in the human body and the instances are really limited: after sex, females during breastfeeding, and.... dog owners petting their own dog (didn't happen with cats, or people petting other people's dogs, by the way). So your theory is clinically correct - dogs DO make people happier! I'd love to own a dog but I think it's cruel to have one in the city when typically I'm not at home all day.

Sorry guys. Fixed now!

I found it and thought I'd post it here, because the topic seems to come up a bunch and this little pop pscyhology exercise is one of the best tools I know about developing self-understanding. I was introduced to it by an executive coach, and it's really simple (but really difficult at the same time!). Basically (the instructions are written on the first slide), you'll see a grid of 15 "life motivators", for example, "MASTERY" means you're really motivated by the idea that you become known or you want to be known for the amount of expertise or knowledge you have about your field. The goal of the exercise is to try to rank order the things in your life that drive you. i.e. are you motivated by status? by relationships? It's really enlightening. And the cool thing is you can ask your partner to do it as well and then compare notes. It's really eye opening. Here are the directions (try to do them in order, and think through your answers) •Select and rank from 1 to 5 the five subjects that are the most important to you. How and why are they important? • Select and rank in ascending order from 15 to 11 the Five subjects that are the least important for you and why do they get this rating. • Select and rank the five remaining subjects 6 to 10 and think of your rationale for the rating. OK here they are (something about my browser's settings won't let me copy and paste properly so i had to type them in): Independence: to have the freedom to think, time available and freedom to act Mastery: To become a known authority on what I do Serve: To contribute to others' satisfaction Friendship: To work with people that I like and get them to like me Prestige: To have a succesful image, be regarded as successful Wealth: To have a lot of money Family: To have time to share with my family Loyalty: To be loyal to my company and boss and count on others' loyalty as well Achievement: To achieve important goals Power: To obtain control over others Enjoy: To have fun and enjoy my life to the fullest Home: To live where I want to live Leadership: To become influential Assurance: To have a secure and safe position Challenge and Self Development: To perform a job that is personally challenging and helps me grow Not sure what any of it has to do with adderall, but as there seems to be a general theme on this forum that we show a passing interest in understanding human behavior, I wanted to share it. I'd love to know everyone's thoughts on this tool too! And your own preferences! I wonder if adderallics are motivated by the same kinds of things... hmmmm....

I like your approach -- strategic ambiguity is a very powerful tool... have you ever noticed the most enigmatic and admired people are great at saying JUST enough to shut people up, but not so much that they seem apologetic? Lawyers are brilliant at this, by the way. I should know, I married one Mud week = chocolate mud cake week? BTW I admire your profession. Teaching is the most exhausting job I've ever done. I taught for 3 years, and within those 3 years I ruined my eyesight from staying up late grading papers every night, had no end of back problems from being on my feet all day, and gained 15lbs because I had no time to eat or cook or workout. Teachers are WAAAY underpaid.

That sounds like a fascinating class, Ashley! And something given your experience conquering addiction, depression, anxiety, specific phobias (like flying and public speaking) put you in a really unique place to have a very compelling story. I've loved looking back through your content (sorry if it feels like I'm stalking you!). Your comments, encouragement and probing but gentle questions say a lot about your own struggles and perspectives. Maybe you can take a little meander through time on this site and piece together some "Ashley wisdom" that you can take with you in to the class. What I'm saying is that it's all in you, all that content about what you believe and your "life commandments"; and they are sprinkled throughout your comments on this forum. Not that you have asked for this, but if I were to summarize you and your characteristics, Ashley, based on the little time I've known you in this random virtual but powerful community we have here I'd say the following things are important to you: humility, encouragement, focus and determination, consistency and trust. Not a bad story at all.

Well said, sky and lea. My shrink wants to put me on lexapro. In addition to the Wellbutrin. She said low dose and I can come off it if I want to but she thought it would help with my anxiety and depression. Do any of you guys have any experience with it? The only SSRI I've been on was Prozac years ago and I hated it, I felt like I was living in a fog all the time.

Congratulations on making it 20 days clean! That's really, really tough esp after you were on it for so long. Also there is good news - there is absolutely no evidence to say your brain won't go back to normal after being on adderall for so long. The bad news is that it takes time (as I'm very much learning, every single impatient day). The good news is there are people here all the time who made it through and have seen life restore itself to normal. The bad news is that normal is tough sometimes, you know, in life. You get the point... Hang in there during these dark days. Are you managing to get enough rest? Do you have support of family and friends? So glad you posted again and congrats on 21 days, if you made it through today that is.

What's the consensus on power naps? Do those work for you guys? I kind of wish they were more socially acceptable....

I love that it's not just a compliment generator; it's an EMERGENCY one!

I guess it's been probably too long since I was a teacher (yes, I was one all those millions of years ago) and I don't know enough about the context of academia any more. I think about it like a business professional, and the importance of managing your own professional risk. Would seem to me that the way around managing any perceived downward trend in performance would be to address it up front, as no manager likes surprises... at least that was my line of thinking....

I haven't heard of that one!

Thanks for staying here with us HAM, even if you haven't quite decided to quit. Hopefully the more stories you read the more it will help you see we're all pretty much in the same boat. We are all struggling with various phases of addiction and/or withdrawal, and I find it really encouraging to hear that other people have been through or are going through the same things. Keep visiting often, and I hope you don't get too down on yourself about grad school. It's understandable that you'd be disappointed, as you were hoping for something that didn't happen. But this does give you another chance to focus on something just as if not more important: your own health.

Today I learned a cool acronymn that summarizes what leaders do: E = AMC Effectiveness = Alignment, Mindset and Competence. If leaders can do all those things at once, they've got the recipe for success.

Fingers crossed indeed Heather. That's an amazing turnaround story, you're really getting your shit together in record time. So proud of you!

Ps isn't spring break around the corner?

I think one of the differentiating factors for you is that you can't hide. Your change in behavior is going to be (and has been) evident to your students and colleagues, and that adds extra pressure perhaps that others may not feel or understand. But there is someone who should understand and absolutely know about it and that is your employer, the school. Not sure whether you go to the principle or who else, but this is probably not the first time they have had to deal with a staff member with health challenges. Life throws shit at people. Employees have the right to manage life and work. I'd recommend going to the school board or whomever manages your employment contract with a statement that you are experiencing some health challenges (you don't need to expound) and that you need to undergo a period whereby your performance expectations are lowered. Whether that ,exams the teaching assistants take on more or what I'm not sure, but you are demonstrating personal leadership and professional maturity by being factual and practical. This is not chronic, you don't have cancer, you may not need to go off campus, but the fact is you have job responsibilities that will be met through this period and there are things outside your job's normal scope that just might need to wait. You are responsible for your health, and your career. You are the CEO of you, so take control and fix the problem!