Tom23Jones

brains are very malleable or plastic until your at least 25 years and your not even 20. And recently scientists have figured out that the human brain is capable of changes far beyond the mid 20's. I abused adderall daily and in high doses for several years and my brain seems to be still improving and I'm in my mid 30's. I can feel joy, I can find focus, I can create motivation when there is none. It may seem like an escapable hell but I promise you its not. Its sucks you got put it on it as a young kid and its not fair but you have a chance to recreate your self and work your ass to become whoever you want. Ex drug users or addicts are very interesting, strong and resilient people because they have to pull themselves out of shitty spots like your in. Theres a future you that you can be proud of. Just have to keep doing the next right thing no matter how fucking difficult.

Don't do something permanent to end this temporary painful struggle. The you on the other side of this will be forever grateful that you fought through. It fucking sucks and its gonna suck for a while longer but 4 months is not enough time to assume you'll never improve. I've been off that shit for 5+ years now and a new/better self has emerged several times over the years. the brain is more resilient than you can imagine. There are tons of things you could consider trying before giving up and ending it. hard fucking Exercise, meditation, martial arts, nutrition. Feel free to DM if you need someone to talk to or text.

You didn't really define what your trying to help your wife do. It sounds like you might be just trying to get her to her next prescription refill and if thats the case, you two basically have to white knuckle it for a few weeks. But in my opinion that is going to be a long road leading to more of the same of these types of abusing the script, running out, crashing, waiting, then refilling. Once you've abused it to this extent, theres usually no going back to moderation no matter what she says to convince you otherwise. You mention not being able to tell the prescribing doctor but my instincts think that would be the number one course of action. She might hate you briefly but hopefully one day she'd recognize the endless cycle of hell you saved her from. Good luck man, tough spot for sure.

My energy levels and motivation started improving big time after I started taking action and exercising despite having zero motivation to do so. If you can create the discipline to keep taking action despite how you feel, motivation and energy will start compounding.

I got fat at the end of my adderall abuse. All I ate was bullshit and drink soda all the time. I can tell you that after I finally hit rock bottom, drew that line in the sand and told myself I'm never taking that shit again, then slowly healthy habits just came to me. Intuitively I started wanting to eat cleaner, drink water, meditate, exercise etc

I found NA meetings very therapeutic. Some of the folks drug of choice will be heroin, drinking, cocaine, pills etc but our stories are all so similar. I've never went to a meeting and not heard something I needed to hear. Its a little weird/ culty at first but once you get comfortable I think you'd see the value. Especially in the early weeks it helps. When you really have that urge, if you hit up a meeting, it can stump out that craving.

maybe the stimulants made you enjoy and have more confidence in your job than what you naturally do. When I was abusing adderall, I loved sending emails and being a non stop working bee but now I realize my job is boring and that was fake happiness that is not sustainable. Have you been exercising and eating healthy? Intense cardio and weightlifting is great for neuroplasticity. Also recommend meditating, seems like hippy shit at first but really does have a profound affect on focus and calming the mind

Absolutely can relate to this. For months I wondered if I'd always be consumed with anxiety, despair, and nothingness. The anhedonia was crippling. There will be waves of this to weather for a long time but find comfort in knowing that you'll get through it each time as you have before. Eventually the fog starts to lift and anxiety lightens and you'll find joy in things again. Just keep going.

It definitely comes and goes. Recovery is not a linear process, especially 40 days in. Its going to be a roller coaster for a few months but you'll keep seeing improvements over time.

I find NA meetings very helpful. It doesn't matter what someones drug of choice was, you quickly hear parallels to your own struggles. Some of the people I've met through NA are some of my best friends. I'll warn you its a little weird or cult like when you first go but if you keep going back you'll realize they are just people going through the same struggles as you. And I'm sure there are several options near you, so you could go to a few and try to find a good fit for you.

So True! I don't know why I put myself through this cycle over and over...I'll be exercising like a mad man, eating healthy as fuck and feeling amazing. Then I go on a binder of eating bullshit and I act shocked when I feel like shit and have brain fog and anxiety for the next few days. Nutrition and exercise is so important.

I lost weight at the beginning of using adderall but like you I got heavier than I ever was while on adderall. Because of tolerance and terrible eating habits on adderall like pummeling redbulls and eating bullshit. When I quit adderall, I slowly starting getting back in tune with my body and realized that healthy food and exercise makes you feel so much better; more energy, less anxiety, etc. I went from 250lbs at the end of my adderall use to about 190ish now

Hello, would definitely like to hear your story once your up for sharing it. Depression and lack of energy is totally normal 16 days in. Congrats on getting through 2+ weeks without adderall, thats no easy task. I was taking 60 to 100+mg daily for 10 years and have been clean now for 4 years in May. I'm doing great, its crazy to think of how chaotic life use to be when I was speeding out of my mind. Some things that helped me big time were lifting weights, cardio, jiu jitsu, meditation, eating clean, drinking lots of water and attending NA meetings (might have to be after the quarantine) Keeping it going, you've made it through the toughest few days

I think you telling him just how bad you are spiraling will be your proverbial "line in the sand" moment. I believe committing to quit together would be the best option. Theres no way I could live with my wife using adderall while I was first quitting. I would have had so much resentment towards her and jealousy of her fake motivation. We already know this. We just have to keep finding out the hard way just to know for sure. We just keep chasing whats unreachable.

Whats a week or two in the grand scheme of things? Tapering may work for some people but I know it would have never worked for myself. I needed to tear the bandaid off and suffer and push through. No way would I have had the discipline to do a gradual taper. Have you ever been 100% honest to your husband the havoc that adderall wrecks on your mind and body? Do you think he'd consider giving it up completely with you? Even if it works for him now, he'll most likely eventually get to a point where it causes him hell. Its never going to happen. Its just not