quit-once

It sounds like something i would like to put in my car's gas tank.

thanks for the entertainment tonight, Cassie. great stories you could only laugh at after you've quit and recovered.

I unloaded two long-term addictions in 2011....and 2012 was one of the best years of my life. So you both have a lot to look forward to in 2013, It will be a better year.

My chest pains went away after I quit smoking.

It is only unavoidable if you do not quit. I graduated from stage four and that was all I could handle of this god-awful addiction..

Ashley I would have never guessed you were shy in public. You are so free with your thoughts and ideas when posting on this forum...I thought you would be the life of the party. Use the practrice you have gained by posting here in your public speaking class. I mean try to put the entire class or whomever you will be speaking to behind this computer screen and just be yourself like you always are around here. Here, you are speaking to the entire world via the internet, and you are certainly not anonymous because you share your picture. So how can a little class of 30 or so people keep you from graduating? It will not. You Go Girl!

Yup. You gotta KILL those fantasy thoughts of using the " just this one time" before the thought takes hold. We always relapse in our minds first before taking the pill.

I am sure you are aware that your biggest challenge for staying quit will be that time of the month when you usuallly refill your script. Oh, and maybe that "other" time of the month too. It is not too early to make a plan for dealing with the urge to refill and how you will handle and accept the other side effects of quitting like weight gain and anhedonia (not giving a shit or getting any joy out of life), and the lack of motivation. You really have to want this to succeed with all your energy and willpower. Good luck to ya.

I dunno how you move it but I could follow the links just fine. Looks like all three aspects you are charting (mood, socialability, and cognition) are above the levels of performance you had at or before quitting adderall so that is positive progress. One thing is for sure, you can not hurry the pace of your own recovery.

Welcome to the forum, Cody. I have a couple of thoughts for you. First off, congrats for quitting and staying quit for six weeks now. That is a huge accomplishment all by itself. I believe you are complicating your recovery from adderall addiction by drinking alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant, and so is amphetamine withdrawl. They might even aggrevate each other so 1+1=3 when it comes to depression and lack of motivation and energy. Plus you might be on the edge of simply swapping one addiction for another. I suggest you cut out the alcohol entirely for now. As far as your cravings for chemical stimulation, anything and everything that is not a drug is better than even thinking about taking adderall. In fact you have to banish those thoughts before they take hold. Read all about how we use coffee, redbull, 5 hour energy, l-Tyrosine and other energy supplements in the supplement section of these forums. You have up to a year (maybe even longer) until things will get back to normal in your life and in your mind. If you really like taking pills for energy go to GNC and get some energy pill supplements to take whenever you crave an adderall fix. If it is not a drug is is not cheating. Alcohol is a drug and using to fill the adderall void won't make your recovery any easier.

InRecovery, are you starting grad school? That's great that your internship worked out well and you have proven to yourself that you don't need no stinkin' adderall to get work done and have a fulfilling life free from addiction. The thought of moving would make me ill right now, though. Fuck, I still have areas and even entire rooms in my home that I have not properly cleaned or de-cluttered since well before quitting adderall. My home was never messier than it was during the last two years of my adderall addiction - (adderall quit working as a housecleaning tool too). Anyway, a hearfelt congratulations and good luck in your new program.

Someday dreamer - I can relate to the issue with weight gain- it happened to me too. I attributed it to lack of sleep. I was only getting maybe 5 hours of sleep and none of it was good sleep. It is a situation documented with science studies that lack of sleep not only leads to weight gain but also pre-diabetic conditions. I felt like my whole system of energy metabolism was fucked up and I even had hot flashes all the time in the night. And I ate really shitty food too. I was taking a lot of adderall, not eating, not sleeping, had loads of mental and emotional stress and living a very unhealthy lifestyle so it did not suprise me I was getting fat. I got even fatter after quitting too, and it took over a year to regain control of my metabolism and start losing weight. I am afraid that being functional won't be very "fun" for the next couple of months or so for you but it does gradually get better with time as I am sure you are already finding out. The good news is that the worst of your physical battle is already behind you at five days now the battle becomes more mental and emotional, and that why this place is here- to help you get through those struggles of early recovery.

I will tap into that fund for the upcoming trip to..... Las Vegas !

...is the estimated amount of money that I did not spend on cigarettes, adderall, and all their related bullshit last year.

You must be a heavy "like this" user. I have NEVER ran out of them - how many do you get for a daily quota? The only thing I have ran short of is smiley face emoticons. Not sure how many of those you get per post. One good thing about having a daily quota for likes is that they become more meaningful if you have to ration them, kind of like money or really good cookies.

3. Jail or prison 4. adderall hell for the rest of your life

KyleChaos you are making your recovery even more chaotic by drinking excessively, irregardless of the welbutrin effect. Keep up that stupid heavy drinking behavior and you will soon find yourself trading one addiction for another AND risking an adderall relapse as well.

May I suggest that you enter a formal treatment / detox program the next time you run out of pills, or sooner.

That's too bad you relapsed. Consider it practice for the next time.

MFA- Ya, too bad they are nightmares. Has anything changed in your environment or diet recently? Some pesticide chemicals can cause nightmares, and some people react badly to different foods or other medicine. I think you are on to a partial cause with the ambien withdrawl. Could be due to adderall recovery too but I have never experienced a string of bad dreams since quitting. And Ashley, please don't worry about posting anything you later consider not to be "productive to recovery". It is all good reading.

I just had this disturbing dream about an hour ago: I was getting a script filled at a new pharmacy and the guy before got rejected and he left pissed off. I went up to the window and they were super nice to me, and gave me double the amount of adderall that I usually got for the same price. I left, checked the pills and discovered they were the wrong brand of generic adderall. ( during my addiction, I only liked and only took the orange or blue oval shaped pills made by BARR, and thought all other generic and even name brand adderall was inferior). So I went back and told them they gave me the wrong brand, and the lady looked it up on my chart and said "Yup, we screwed up, have a seat and I will get you the right pills". I still had the first script in my pocket and didn't offer it up yet. So they filled another double sized script, charged me for it, and didn't ask for the first one back. Here is where it gets weird. I was not intending to take any of them, and intended just to go to my friend and show it off like a big trophy fish or something, then sell him the entire load. I was still in a quit state of mind, but with that fucking much adderall I considered starting up my addie habbit again, but never opened a bottle or took a pill. I remember thinking, I have to unload these things now. As I drove away I felt like I had both a trophy and a time bomb all in the same pocket. Then I woke up. I am sure that reading all these recent posts about filling scripts and pharmacy experiences caused me to have that dream. I might need to spend less time around here for my own mental well-being, although it sure helps get it off my chest by posting about that strange dream.

Me either. And then my Dr said: "well you can always go back on 'em if you need to".

Sky, did you tell him you were abusing the adderall?

I heard it on the news last spring then I googled it up to confirm it.

Want a more recent person from the news? How about George Zimmerman, you know, the guy who shot Trayvon Martin in Florida last year? Yup. He was on adderall.