Greg

I think for me, my dependency on it, began immediately...I loved it immediately and felt like I found the answer to my problems ( which at the time, which seems so trivial now, was being able to pay sharp attention in class and comprehend my complex textbooks, especially philosophy which completely confused me)....then slowly I ran out earlier and earlier each month. But I distinctly remember at my college graduation walking around the campus, asking random people, during my graduation of all places, if they had any adderall on them or if they knew anyone who had it. It was really desperate and maybe that was the moment.

I fly back to Florida on Friday. And then I'm hard core joining this group again, with the added incentive that everyone in Florida, where I am, is freakishly schvelte

I'm not sure if I regained my ability to regulate my appetite. Hahaha...sometimes I can, sometimes I can't. Most recently I can't. --I've definitely regained my ability to sit quietly and do nothing sometimes which is important for mental health --I think I've regained a lot of working memory capacity. My mind is no longer cluttered with frenetic energy and a constant feeling of manic overwhelm. --I am able to find things and keep things more organized. When I was adderall'd out I would find everything interesting. Scribble down some ideas, read a couple pages from a book, surf on the web for a few hours...and the result was so much clutter and disorganization with the space I was in and with my life priorities.

Watching shark week for the first time ever.

I've found them under beds, under couches, in old suitcases, and multiple times in pockets of shorts I didn't wear in a very long time, I consider it a testament to how much those crappy pills dominated my life. Even during my abuse when I felt I accounted for every last pill because every pill was so precious because I was always running out so early, I still managed, in my obliterated state of mind, to lose track of so many.

It has happened to me I think at least four times now. I'm so afraid of seeing adderall in my hands because I know that ONE pill can send my entire life spiraling down to destruction (no exaggeration) and I've been working so hard and put so much time and effort to rebuild after it destroyed my life. I don't ever want to risk that again by taking a pill I stumble upon in my pocket. I don't want any of that stuff not even a trace of it, coursing through my brain again. Taking one pill to me would be like stepping off a landmine.

Don't waste your money on dawn of the planet of the apes. I give it 1 star.

I think 'sober July' needs to be updated to 'sober august'

Ugh, I found adderall in my pocket from a pair of board shorts I haven't worn in years. I quickly flushed it down the toilet and then scrubbed my hands so all the skin cells that encountered it would be washed away. Anyone thinking quitting is impossible, after waiting your addiction out for some time, I bet u you'll experience the same feeling.

Back from a mini vacation. The kardashians were filming there while I was there and I ate at the restaurant they ate/filmed at (lol) and went to their pop up store. Boy, have they managed to extend their brand. hahaha

I was listening to a long interview with him recently on the radio, and he was talking about his biggest fear in life, I almost posted it on this forum, I found it really interesting. When asked about his biggest fear, it was that he was afraid of suddenly relapsing -- even after all that clean time, he was afraid that suddenly he would just relapse. Just Like Phillip Seymour Hoffman, he was in rehab last month taking a proactive stance against relapsing. This might sound worrisome but it worried me what the residual affects of addiction. RIP robin williams

Great website Cassie. Wow, 105 people die each day from drug overdoses.

My internship concluded. I am jumping full throttle back into this ...soon.

My 10 week internship concluded today. I can return to a saner world without office politics!!!!

Karma

My internship ends in two days. So two years ago, the interns found out if they got offers or not on their last day of work (early august) Last year, the interns did not find out until mid October!!! So...no updates yet.

Excellent job occasional!!

Spending the day preparing for a final presentation.

It does. But this a non linear path. Some days you'll feel like you are getting over it and suddenly -- bam-- you are sunk in depression and cravings. Read up on post addiction withdrawal syndrome PAWS.

I know people who take it to study and stay up for days. They also lend it to each other to study. Like adderall, it enhances the dopamine in your brain. Just in a different way. I wouldn't touch it.

what skills have you seen yourself regain after quitting? - For me, an ability to regulate my appetite on my own again...it's not easy but at least I can do it on my own now. - an ability to push myself to do things I am really, really, unmotivated to do,..

Looking forward to catching up on sharknado 2 tonight.

keep it up!!

Detox sounds like a good option and outpatient care. Some people here have been through extensive adderall detox and you can probably find more on it if you search our forums. I did 1 week in detox and then outpatient therapy. Then I tried to get back to work, but the pressure of work made me relapse and I ended up almost going back to rehab but i ended up detoxing at home. I was in a coma-like sleep for a while, and when i was awake i was watching netflix. If i even wanted to consider working, it would have driven me back to adderall. If i wanted to put even the slightest pressure on myself, i knew i was putting myself in danger. So i had to do nothing. BUT Not everyone on this site that was the case People here have managed to quit and continue working and there is all types of advice on this site for that. I dont have too much experience in detox but i do remember going through it with all kinds of addicts from coke to heroin and alcohol and attending rehab classes. And having no energy without any adderall. Detox is an option you have and its worked for so many people get their lives back - rehab then outpatient with continuous NA meetings. Welcome to the boards. I hope you can take comfort in that so many people here have overcome the battle and continue to stay proactive against relapsing. -- for me to the point where the thought of adderall disgusts me now.