Greg

Excellent!!

owww. im sunburned from running!! (I think Im going to have to start getting used to running on the treadmill...sometimes) Did you make it to 12? I made it to 12 but I walked for one of the miles. Starting today I enter HELLL ( a different one from adderall withdrawal)..its the last week of classes...i have like two huge presentations due and my final exam this coming week. Then next week is finals week... So my running (and sleeping) schedule will take a hit.

Business simulations, accounting exams. MFA the stuff you are doing sounds just like what I'm doing but you are doing it in the real world! Sounds like you are getting stuff out of this experience and learning about how you are in this kind of setting which all adds up to a stronger self. Keep it up. Great hearing how you are doing over there.

Just keep sticking to it heather. You are detoxing right now...you're doing good..we're all rooting you through this.

I am at 8 miles for this week. But just a heads up. I'm entering a hellish next two weeks with FINALS. So I'm not sure how good I'm going to be with running but definitely will try my best. Are you making your way to 12?

. Way to go Ashley! Needing adderall to get an A is such a myth isn't it? Good job, it was all you in that class. The real you.

Keep it up. It is insanity kind of like bumping your head into a wall over and over. Why?

Right now the adderall you are taking is just medicine to keep your body stable and nothing more than that. And you shouldn't have to live that way.

That was a great post. I hadn't read that in a long time. We need to start to add some of these to Mikes articles section.

yeah, it will never be normal like adderall-induced-normal. But it will be normal in the way that normal-people-feel-normal. But when you are first quitting you feel below-normal-people-normal because 1. you aren't getting an artificial surplus of dopamine PLUS 2. you've shot your dopamine receptors so they don't produce dopamine like they did before you started speed... So the recovery process is like waiting for your dopamine receptors to start producing at normal-people levels again. And getting used to the normal feeling of having no artificial surplus of dopamine getting you going throughout the day.

Have you been going to NA meetings? Have you thought about checking in to rehab or maybe getting outpatient care? You were really focused on your recovery and then somehow you lost your focus, by temptation and access to it but now it is time to refocus 100% on recovering...adderall addiction is really hard to overcome as we all know and its so important that u really, really want to make the necessary changes in your life to beat this, like ending your supplier relationships and refocusing on getting clean.

I just started watching Betas, and one of the guys pops adderall. Maybe he'll get addicted if it becomes a series.

I was just curious what shows you are all watching? I dont have much time, but when i do have time I veg out. Ive been watching Bates Motel on A&E and the new Netflix series Hemlock Grove which Im starting to get really into. (oh and im also getting into the new History Channel series Vikings and the Kevin Bacon "cult" series The Following) I also discovered Dr. Who which is a british show im starting to like. What about you all? I recommed ALL of them!

Betas looks like it could be really funny. I wonder if zombieland is good.

Heather I think in order for you to stop, you have to muster up your commitment to being clean again, you have to make it clear and cut these girls off from giving them to you. Just like getting red flagged across the state got you to stop the last time. Do your 'dealers' know you are addicted? Are you buying it off them ? Are they friends? Are you ready to recommit to this whole thing?

i thought you were going to make 12 for sure by like Tuesday, you were so ahead of things !! I really ran closer to 10 miles than 12 with all that walking. I think i have to start running on Saturday or I just fall behind the whole week.

First off, MFA it sounds like you have such a cool job!!! Already traveling to Europe, Didn't you just start? But think of this as an opportunity. Every time I have to do something that I used to associate with adderall, I TRY to think of it as an opportunity to rebuild self confidence and diminish that adderall association I have with it if that makes any sense. I think it is really good for us when we expose ourselves to situations we associated with adderall because each time we kind of diminish that psychological reliance. You will do awesome!! And have fun too!

I just wanted to post this link. So amazon has 14 tv pilots available for free streaming https://www.amazon.c...ocId=1001155581 and you get to choose which one actual become a regular series...

I felt like I got a lot out of the amphetamine debate, especially because it went more in depth on adderall induced psychosis which is what i was trying to understand at the time. but yeah there was a lot of rehashing of On Speed in it. both books were clearly inspired or derivatives of On Speed.

I dont know what to say. Only that i used to tell myself that ALL the time. not addicted just dependent. ALL the time. Anyway i ended up in rehab for addiction, so....

did you make it to 12? I had to do 6 miles today because i fell behind. So i ran for like 4.5 miles of it and walked 1.5 miles of it. I noticed that I dont 'sort of crave' an adderall boost when i run anymore. in the adderalld days, I used to always pop adderall before working out or whatever, so i still had some of that association. And when i would run, and get tired, id sort of crave it. but that's gone now which is cool.

Hang in there calo. It does suck but you are doing good. Later on you will never want to relapse just knowing you would have to quit again and go through this hell AGAIN.

Yeah I started to read that book but I stopped because its almost the same thing as On Speed. On speed is more comprehensive. Have you read that one yet? These books I think all adderall addicts quitting should read because there is so much more to prescription speed then Anyone of us ever knew and these two books are really eye opening.

Cassie, I saw this and thought of you. Its food network Ina Garten talking about how she made the switch from something like a nuclear energyt policy analyst to store owner to quitting her job and finding what she does now. Its 1:39 into the video... I really like the advice she took to become a cookbook author..i think you should do the same.(i dont mean be a cookbook author, but follow the same advice she followed)

Hey MFA, it is interesting that you brought this up. One of the MBA classes Im taking now is actually "Leadership". Basically we have done a lot of team building exercises, written reports on leadership books, watched videos of influential people and taken all the personality tests: Myers Briggs, Emotional IQ, Firo B and TKI and analyzed them and written about them to death, to find our leadership qualities within our personality styles (or how we can best lead within our different personality style) and learned how to best develop our leadership qualities. We have analyzed these tests to death through various term papers. And actually we are now doing a group paper discussing how our personality styles work together - the group dynamics. Now that i write about it, and reflect, this class has been pretty interesting. Anyway, after this class, i definitely feel like leadership is something that can be "brought to light" or "fostered" through teaching learning and understanding.