Greg

If she had another secret I would have to guess it would be peanut butter..

So...Any guesses before clicking? http://now.msn.com/pearl-cantrell-105-says-bacon-is-key-to-long-life?ocid=ansnowe http://bigcountryhomepage.com/fulltext?nxd_id=592342

I also have protein powder which I try to drink once a day.

For real. Things change...and you look back and are like how was i like that for so long? My brain thinks so differently now. My thoughts don't race anymore. The mind is calmer.

FW, Im sorry you relapsed. probably because you had access to it. Have you cut it off with your doc yet? Be strong. We all know you can do it!

I started using a lot of 5 hour energies during finals and something felt really wrong about it. I understand your concern. I had bought a box of 5 hour energies md looking at the huge case of them about 30 of them, something felt wrong about having it. Part of me thinks if anyone is going to have issues with these kinds of things it would be people like us because we've shown in the past how we were unable to control ourselves.

I was thinking about getting this the other day. I have heard good things about it. But I hear this is something that you have to be real careful taking it. Not like red bull or monster. It is made with DMAA which the FDA is trying to get off the shelves. (It combines DMAA with about 110 mgs of caffeine per serving for the stimulant effect http://www.fda.gov/Food/DietarySupplements/QADietarySupplements/ucm346576.htm DMAA closely resembles amphetamine in structure. The FDA calls it an amphetamine derivative. So....for us especially...i would stay away from anything that could possibly resemble amphetamine in structure. for running,repair and recovery, I take glutamate powder http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001HITON8/ref=oh_details_o00_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 and nitric oxide. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001HIPS8I/ref=oh_details_o00_s00_i01?ie=UTF8&psc=1 I only take it on the days I run. It doesn't give an energy boost but it helps my muscles feel less sore.

Heather have you managed to stay clean?

Those are some great quotes! Haha. I'm going to save that link. I love the ray Bradbury quote. Quantity produces quality. If you only write a few things you are doomed. The first Paper I wrote took forever...but each subsequent paper I got faster and faster with. The last one i crammed out 8 pages in three hours. This is how I get through it. The most important thing for me is to open up that word document and put a crummy title like paper 1....and just have it there on my laptop. It is annoying for me to have a blank document just sitting there open on my screen. 1. I just sit down and tell myself. I HAVE to do this. I do not have a choice. I'm going to have to do it anyway..whether it is now or tomorrow so i need to just do it.. I dont want this weighing on me, then iit takes a gust of self motivation to get me to sit down and start. 2. Then I write without any focus on the quality of the paper. It makes the whole thing less intimidating,. I'm literally saying to myself this paper is crap and I'm going to get an F...throughout my whole writing time. 3. I focus on how many pages are done and how many to go...I take breaks spending time double spacing...inserting page numbers etc.. 4. When I am stuck, I browse the net very very quickly for ideas. 5. i force myself to type super super as fast as I can to lessen the time I have to be there sitting and writing . Then it's over. i look back and it usually not THAT bad...i need to spend a good session revising, but that is so much less painful.. But the most important thing is ...for the most part ...it is DONE.

I'm not sure if these gummy vitamins will work out. I've had six of them today and I just want to finish the whole bottle at once. I wonder if they have Swedish fish vitamins too?

I just got a bottle of gummy vitamins. There is no difference between the taste of these things and gummy bears. They are so good!! I have already taken four of them today...and i fear they will not last too long. http://www.amazon.co...0?ie=UTF8&psc=1 And to help me sleep I take grape flavored melatonin...and since they are grape flavored, they are so yummy. And they work well. http://www.amazon.co...0?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Hi, I started a new thread because the other one was getting too long to scroll through... It's time for me to get back on track..haha..literally, i need get back on the track..start running again.. How have the last 2 weeks been going while I have been in finals hell? I didn't run at all!! (For those that are reading this thread for the first time this is the running club for recovering adderall addicts. The goal is simple: Run 12 miles a week sometime between Saturday - Friday and check in here..Aside from the obvious health benefits it has a very positive impact on adderall recovery like with natural dopamine production..)

Hang in there. I have never heard addiction being called as 'having a high tolerance'...but yes I had a severely high tolerance to adderall. Popping three a day for me was practically equivalent to not taking anything because my tolerance was so high. I think the consensus on here is cold turkey is the way to go. A lot of people have said antidepressants like Wellbutrin have helped deal with the forthcoming depression. I myself started up on Effexor which I found helpful. What you will really need the most of is a strong internal committment to staying clean during the difficult road ahead. Or you will not make it. period. I have been clean for a while now, did quite a number on myself during my use, would say at this stage i am still in a process of severing the association my brain still has with it...doing things outside my comfort zone still triggers adderall discomfort but to a lesser degree each time I do things outside my comfort zone...in my early recovery, Adderall took away my confidence to do anything without it...I attributed all my success to it and nothing to myself. When I quit adderall, all that was left of me was a person with no confidence in himself. But with tons of willingness to rebuild. I felt very lost but hopeful. I now understand more how The non adderall addicted brain thinks a lot differently from the adderall addicted brain. Like how the drug no longer weighs heavily on your mind and is impacting all your decisions, how you are no longer going through the day artificially sped up... In the VERY beginning of my quitting I just focused every day on staying clean and relapse prevention because I craved it all the time and felt like I was being tested all the time to go back on it. So my advice to you is to first sever ties with your prescribing doc. then Cold turkey (or maybe just take 1 a day for a week and then just flush the remainder) and then Focus totally on commitment to relapse prevention.

I wish I could find that thread again. It was all these meth addicts talking about substituting with adderall and it was...eye opening. I would binge for probably three days. But I would then crash for a short while and then go on another binge for another three days. So you could almost call it 6 days straight with just one very long 8-12 hour nap between days three and four. Now the only binging I do is binge watching Episode marathons on Netflix.

That is great advice. Kyle, stop reading that stuff..you are good.

Also I recall while being on speed, living inside my head, in my thoughts, in my dreams and in my quickly moving ideas more than in the real world which seems like borderline personality..

I consider 2 months to be 'newborn' early.. If you think about it , adderall induces borderline personality because when we take it we become super peppy and then when it wears off we crash so our personalities are up down, up down, and it is exhausting to us and the people around us, it would make sense this is the lingering effects of adderall In early recovery. I for sure remember my personality being very inconsistent depending on how many pills I had left.

I have also taken vyvanese....it acts on the brain just like all the other stimulants.. Like everyone said, you are replacing beer with wine. To beat this...u have to fully accept reality that you will have to go through a period of serious discomfort despite what else is going on in your life. Some people would call it detox...but necessary, can you honestly see your life going uphill from here with this problem in your life?

Ahhh.finished. I can't believe I expended so much mental energy, duress, sleep deprivation and working outside of my comfort zone without any reliance on adderall!!! .I feel like I need to absorb that. I spent a lot if energy unlearning the association of life stressors and adderall..there is actually a term for this...it is called associative loss theory.... Anyway, today almost feels as momentous as going 1 year and 2 years free of adderall... Right now all the grad students are going out to a bar...but I just want to sit here and decompress...

I have discovered the best tasting energy drinks. These Starbucks things are not coffee but like refreshing coolers. They are made from green coffee extract. http://www.starbucks.com/refreshers/ This and a combination of power naps and five hour energies have been helping me through this week ( but I do feel a crash from the five hour energies?.or maybe I'm just sleep deprived.? ( Probably just sleep deprived.) ONE MORE FINAL EXAM TO GO!!! I can see the finish line...

I am also glad to see activity in the supplements region. I have never tried choline. I am going to have to look into this instead of preworkout energy boosts. I actually bought an entire box of 5 hour energies online because they were on sale for 1 buck a bottle instead of two. One of my classmates says these things are addictive. Energy drinks too. He keeps warning me every time he sees me with a rock star in my hand (and that is often) He said he got addicted to energy drinks , using them as pre workout drinks, but eventually without them he would crash and he couldn't even go to class the next day. So he stayed on them through finals and quit ..as soon as finals was over. He says only do 5 hour energies when they don't have as much of the crash /addictive feature. Not sure how to find that. Anyway. .does that sound kind of familiar? Hmmm...Dont know...Do you guys think 5 hour energy or energy drinks can be addictive?

I am in the midst if finals and just wanted to drop a postcard from hell!! I have slept like 1 hour a night. Just working non stop. Today we had a group presentation that was 50% of our grade and we were so stressed, i think with good reason, and we were like fighting for no reason...because we were so stressed. I think it went ok. Have you seen the apprentice? not the celebrity one.the one with regular people. life has been like that. because i have huge projects and presentations but with different teams for different classes. todays presentation, We did it on a restaurant and we brought tons of foods and gave away prizes and we showed lots of videos and we did a sketch and we dressed up in costume and all this stuff...it was so obvious how badly we wanted the A. I realized I get really nervous during presentations. But I took a Xanax before my presentation and i felt it transformed me into a relax person. Amd saved me from buckling in the presentation. And I was able to do well. But that was my last one.left..! I am surprised I am surviving all this duress and the paws actually hasn't been that bad. Definitely feel stronger. Every now and then I just stop and think...wow I'm able to do this all on my own...adderall free.. Am now going to sleep for a little and then start preparing for several exams and papers due...very soon. For sure am seeing this as a rebuilding process..for those just quitting..,there was a time where I couldnt lift a finger without popping adderall first...so it gets better.