Greg

I went to bed at 7:30 this morning, slept for a couple hours. I have an hour long presentation tomorrow withowerpoint slide that I BARELY STARTED.thats because I've been working nonstop On a hell exam due tomorrow that I am still working on and a case project due tomorrow and my group wants to know when I can meet today. And I can't even stay up late today because I have work at 7 tomorrow.

on the bright side, my ability to push myself without adderall has come a long way. this would have been unfathomable a few months ago.

ugh...I dont plan on sleeping for like the next two days.

I get what you all are saying. It makes you feel like you are accomplishing all kinds of stuff like some superstar but really you are accomplishing just regular stuff...like laundry.or organizing piles of paper or researching something on the internet. Big deal. but on adderall you feel like you are on top of the world and doing it all...but really, what are we getting done? Mike has an article somewhere saying we are basically the same as we were before. Its all kind of silly.

Definitely when I run more intensely I get runners high. If I don't run as intensely I might not get the super rush but I still feel good for the rest of the day. I think it kind of lingers all day.

Is that what happened? It suddenly got really inaccurate and I don't know why.

I think i was the most tired of everyone. The one that looked the worst was the alcoholic who was covered in a blanket and shaking really bad all the time. Regarding the cocaine addict...She had gotten addicted to heroin first, and then to quit heroin she switched to cocaine. I remember being hungrier and more tired than anyone there...I don't remember her being similar to mine. I just remember people found it so funny how hungry I was. It's great that this forum is so specific to prescription amphetamines because sometimes it seems like our fight is so different than street drug addicts. There are a lot of similarities but a lot of differences. Especially the whole notion of taking these pills because we think it makes us productive. You don't hear heroin addicts talking about how they started taking heroin to be successful. That notion is something I couldn't quite connect with the people in NA. what I could connect with them was the desire to use despite not wanting to use.

Yeah that was for Ritalin. Adderall came after all that.

I was in rehab..with an alcoholic who was shaking so badly...with a cocaine addict,..a heroin addict...and other addicts..I remember they put also all in a room and forced us to watch a movie and we were all so miserable and wanted to get out of there and so finally after 10 minutes he turned it off. I also remember I could not stay awake during the day and we had these rehab classes we had to go to and I was allowed to leave in order to go back to sleep. We were all on some crazy regimen of pills. i cant remember what they prescribed me but we would wait in line and they would just hand us a bunch of pills and a cup of water.. They fed us really well I think because everyone there was so miserable the least they could do was let us eat good food. Food was great. I was also in this outpatient recovery place and we had addiction recovery classes every day and we prepared our own lunches, washed dishes and then in the afternoon we would have more counseling classes on like self esteem and mental health. Then I would hit NA meetings in the evening.

Lol...you never knew that???

Me too. I remember eating everything, I remember like eating a whole apple pie in one sitting. When I was in rehab for Ritalin I was eating so much people thought it was hilarious. Like I'd ask for two entrees instead of one, and I'd ask people if they weren't going to finish if I could have it. Quitting adderall will make you hungry but Any weight you gain, you can always lose later.

Yeah it is a scary thing. Adderall addiction Has gotten a lot of media attention. If you look a few threads back, Ashley and lil tex were in SELF magazine and posted the article..which was a quittingadderall highlight a couple weeks back. We are always one pill away. But I guess the more time we get away from it the chance of relapsing gets less and less. I just made that statistic up, but I hope it's true.

Yeah I think when we last talked I was freaked out and just starting grad school. I have eased into it. I like it a lot here,made friends now. Swamped in work, but its definitely been a process of rebuilding myself. I'm glad I'm here though.

Hey that's great to hear. So you've been clean for 4 months now. Do you feel better? Definitely drop by though to let us know how you're doing from time to time because we all worry that you might have relapsed.

Krax, how have you been doing? It's good to hear from you. A couple threads back we were all wondering about you. Have you managed to stay clean?

I think anxiety is perfectly normal after quitting. I know what you are talking about -- I had that lingering anxiety too and it does suck. Suck is a mild way of putting it. Hang in there. If you stay committed to beating this you will be alright.

And also you are beginning to take control of your addiction instead of the other way around.

I am glad you are reaching the point where it is all going to stop. After reading so many stories here on this site, I can only say that whether you stay clean or not is going to boil down to commitment to staying clean. And to work your hardest on strengthening that commitment on a daily basis. Because you will be dealing with discomfort fatigue and urges when it's finally out of your system and commitment to staying clean is what is going to get you through it. Think about it and ask yourself what are you going to do to strengthen your commitment?

Yeah and then they begin to believe they need it to be productive. Without it they will not be successful. And without the drug they are not good. Everyone on this site who hasn't quit yet, that is the dangerous path they are on.

chocolate is totally cool. I ate lot of junk too. just dont use and think of this as time to rebuild yourself.

I think this is the video http://www.katiecour...derall-to-meth/ a great adderall success story

You have to lower your expectations about recovery time or you are setting yourself up for disappointment. a week and a half is way too short a time to start making any conclusions about you feel. Of course you are going to feel anxiety and frustration and tiredness in a weeks time. Your body adapted to something, and now its been taken away. I say first, you do everything you can to prevent relapse. that is the biggest priority over EVERYTHING. Even if it means going to rehab or outpatient rehab. sitting at home and doing nothing but watching netflix, sleeping. stress gives us urges so eliminate ALL TRACES of stress from your life. Then it is much easier to stay off of it. Once you are out of the super danger zone of relapsing, you can work on rebuilding confidence in yourself and deal with lifes stresses without it. For some of us it takes longer others. It took me FOREVER. but im finally in this stage. And Im gratefully clean.

no actually. Well. it was at first, but suddenly it became inaccurate. Like i have to run 4 miles on my Nike Plus app in order to reach 3 miles in actuality. But that's just a small adjustment i have to make.

those are also my biggest challenges. I break into PAWS when feeling unconfident or anxious. (because those are the times i used to take adderall) Following feelings of unconfidence and anxiety are tiredness and...there are more, i just cant think of anymore right now.

Hey there, addiction is like a condition where we want to continue to use even when we dont want to use. when you quit you will get the mental urge to take adderall again so its so important to work on your motivation to stay clean. Sometimes the urges will be worse than other times. Writing a list of the negative consequences the drug has done to you and rereading it when you get mental urges is a good idea. Read books about what youve chemically done to your brain. The information is really appalling. Youve messed up your dopamine receptors. knowing that stuff will also deter you. The better you get at resisting urges the easier it will be to stay clean. Time also heals. When i get desire now, its not even a question that i would consider. It sucks that im having an urge but hell no, will I even consider touching that stuff...that is the point i suggest getting to. Where you may have strong desire but there's no chance in hell you would even consider taking those pills. Also, understanding how its psychologically impacted you, how it has robbed you of confidence. there was a time when you could deal with life without it. but slowly you have psychologically gotten used to taking it to deal with life. there is no question that adderall addiction is a tough battle, but you will find a lot of people on this site have been through what you have been through and gotten through it and have strong resolve. You can do it as well. But if you dont stop, the negative things it does to you get worse and worse. Quitting is tough but it is doable. read all the stuff on this site. you will find tons of information very specific to addiction to adderall which is a great resource. hang in there. have you severed ties with your doc yet?