ashley6

I think this is a good idea, because with addiction, I think the one-day-at-a-time mentality is so helpful, because thinking of long-term can be too overwhelming. Honestly, 16 months sober, and I still thank God at night for one more day sober off of adderall. You can do this if you choose to! We're rooting for you. Please keep us posted.

A safe place within ourselves. How true this statement is. I love when you're around here, MFA, for insight like that....brilliant.

I believe you, occasional. You've been amazing on this working out thing. I don't think we have to worry about you slipping away Ok group, I did 5 miles outside tonight, only walking the first two songs! It's not that impressive, but for me....it is, because you all know I struggle with running outside. I wanted to walk so many times, but I started talking to myself out loud like "Ashley, you can do this. You've done much harder than this before!" People probably thought I was crazy but whatever

Jon, Do you really believe people don't change? While I agree that proceeding with caution is smart, the guy spilled it about his own substance abuse issues. I was NOT who I was on adderall. Sure, you don't have to be best friends, but I think that's a cynical view. Why do you think people make amends in AA and NA? I usually give people the benefit of the doubt, but of course, this really isn't my business...just my two cents. P.S. People say I tend to be too naive sometimes, but I don't think it's always a bad thing. I have a friend who often thinks people are out to get him when they're not, and I'd much rather be the way I am.

This story is powerful...wow! Thanks for sharing! It sounds like he's making amends, and it's so cool you were open to talking to him after the bullying, AND you got a sober friend out of the deal. This made my morning

Ugh. Welcome to the boards, but sorry you've discovered the evils of adderall addiction. Since you've said you've tried gradually quitting before, and it didn't work for you, in my opinion, it would be extremely hard to do, since as adderall addicts we are unable to control our usage. How serious are you about quitting? If serious, I suggest making a plan, probably taking some time off of work. At the end I was taking 100-120 mgs a day, and I was a 103 pound girl. Tapering just wasn't an option for me because I was far too addicted. I truly believe if you make the choice to quit, you can do it...even if it has to be cold turkey. Others will chime in with their opinion, but that's my two cents. You've found the right place!!!

Oh my goodness....way to go!!!!! You are awesome, and I want to be like you. Seriously, major kudos. You did a half marathon....woo hoo!!!!

10 miles ALL running?? WOW. Well-done! I've heard you're supposed to get new running shoes every 6 months. What better investment is there in good running shoes anyway? Let me know what you think of them.

Cat, Well, there was some walking, but speed walking Wait a second, you're getting married next week? How exciting!!! Congratulations!! I think that's a very legitimate reason for not getting your miles in

Rick, I can really relate to this post, because I started using adderall my sophomore year of college; however, I was in a different place, in that I thought it was the answer to all things school-related. Let me tell you, though, I probably only saw an increase in my performance the first year or two. Then the side effects started outweighing the benefits, and I couldn't bring myself to go to class some days because I was so anxious. The drug actually did the opposite for me after a few years, and I was prescribed 60 mgs (I think) and not even abusing....yet, from what I can remember. Now, I'm 28 years old and finally finishing my college degree. Moral of the story is: adderall didn't actually continue to benefit me at all, it hindered me, due to the awful psychological and physical side effects, so if you continue using adderall this is not a guarantee for success by any means, if that makes sense.

Ok, I forced myself to go to gym! Did 5.5 miles in an hour if that tells you anything about how slow I was. Literally thought I was going to throw up. It was a rough one, but I'm lucky to have you guys to keep me committed!

By the way team, I've been SO bad at keeping up with my miles. I have to drive 4 hours today, and I have class, so I'm going to have to find some serious motivation to get some miles in tonight. I'm at 0 this week. Wtf???? I just had a revelation after I typed this. I've been feeling pretty happy lately. Like happier than I have in awhile. I use exercise to deal with my anxiety and depression. So, in essence since I've been feeling better, I've been taking it for granted and have gotten lazy and not incorporating working out as much. I just wanted to share, and it made me realize this is NOT acceptable.

That story was very inspirational, Rich. Adderall/Vyvanse do NOT have to be forever. I think you should toss your pills. It's shown that having them there poses too much of a risk. I'm 16 months sober, and I still don't want any sort of stimulants around me. Not that I have a desire to take them, they just make me SO uncomfortable.

Happy birthday!!!

Tessa, I can relate to this. I went through a time, maybe 6 months before I quit, when all of the logic in my head said I should quit, but I just wasn't ready...period. I think that toying around with the idea of quitting before you are actually ready is common, I would guess. I'm not saying at all this means you can't quit today, it just sounds like right now you're sorting stuff out in your head. This doesn't make you bad or wrong....it's the nature of addiction. You can do this!

Jon, This sounds like a great idea. I think it will really have a positive effect on you afterwards, even though you have already quit. It's also good to have something to show at work, since recovery can be a roller coaster. You are truly setting yourself up for success, in every sense of the word. Quit-once, what a shitty experience to have with your doctor. I've found that the two doctors I've seen since quitting, after I was immediately up front with them that I was a recovering Adderall addict, were very supportive of it. One of my doctors even asked how I quit, if I attended AA meetings and what I've done to continue being adderall-free out of genuine interest. It gave me hope for medical professionals. Tuesday is a big step for you, Jon....bravo!!!

Hey, I think I'm the only one that does Monday-Sunday just based on my work week. Good job, InRecovery!

I got in 6 miles tonight. I ran 10 songs, walked 3, I believe, so a good portion running. 6 more to go!

First of all, acknowledging you're an addict is a huge step. You've gotten past the denial hurdle. Now it's up to you to make the choice. Is getting healthy mentally sans adderall or getting shit done more important? I know you have a lot of important stuff coming up, so it truly might not be the ideal time, but it sounds like the adderall is making you miserable anyway. Is there any possibility of lightening your load right now? I really commend you for honesty, not something us adderall addicts are known for.

Cat, My week runs Monday-Sunday. I think the others are on a different schedule. I'm 0/12 this week, and it's Thursday....better get ON it. You all are doing fantastic! I'll keep you posted!

Good job InRecovery and occasional....very impressive! I guess I better get started tomorrow!

I just did 6 miles at the gym....only walked 4 songs, possibly 5, I believe. Working in air conditioning felt like a treat I made it to 11 for my week. I think I'm the only one that didn't make it this week...bravo all!

What an inspiring post and a huge congratulations on 3 months! I love your optimism....it's going to act as a great tool for your recovery. Keep it up!

I'm really unsure if I actually will come off of it, but we shall see. It made my night hearing from you, MFA. I hope things look up for you soon! I know how strong you are, so I think you will be just fine, whatever you decide.

I just wanted to chime in too. I feel the exact same way as you both. The anxiety/panic attacks can be crippling. I keep them on me at all times too, because feeling that overwhelming sense of panic is really, really scary. I agree with you, MFA, on the possible placebo effect of it. My thoughts are we have to be careful but weighing the quality of life with/without it is important. One thing I've noticed, after being on both Xanax and klonopin, is that Xanax is faster acting so you can kind of feel it working in you. Klonopin is different, in that it takes a while to kick in and has something like a 10 hour half life, so the effects aren't felt quite as much. Just a thought. My new psychiatrist wants to sort of wean me off the klonopin to a point where I only take it when absolutely necessary. I don't know how I feel about that. It's so good to hear from you MFA! It's really strange that we're all having such intense anxiety after quitting adderall, even though we all quit at different times....makes me wonder what the adderall did to our brains.