ashley6

Way to go getting rid of your stash! You can do this, woman! And Jon, that was so well-stated about adderall being like novocaine to numb our emotions. I'm too tired and lazy to quote it but yes sir!! True story.

Kev, Your story hits so close to home. I can relate to you on so much of this. First of all, welcome to the forums. And second of all, it makes me so sad that anyone else has to go through this adderall addiction. I've dealt with severe anxiety and depression a lot of my life and found adderall to be the answer....until it turned on me. There are parts of my life people will talk about that I really have no recollection of. I think adderall does this, but I too was using clonazepam to come down. I think this combination of speed and benzos is especially hard on our brains. I still take clonazepam, but I've been off of adderall 17 months. I truly never thought I could quit. Adderall was my best friend, my companion, and my significant other. Nothing else mattered to me in life, and I damaged a lot of relationships in the midst of it. But.... After quitting. Life has become whole again. I've repaired so much of the damage I did in my past. My family and friends have been extremely supportive and have forgiven me for the crazy, selfish, neurotic person I became. I can totally relate to when you say you'll sit there and stare for what seems like a minute, and it's actually an hour. Adderall has a way of making time fly by, and it turns into months, years. I won't sugar coat it. Quitting adderall has been the hardest, most challenging thing I've EVER done in my life but also the most rewarding. Seeing that we ARE able to turn our lives around after what seems like irreparable damage is amazing beyond words. You, my friend, can do this. I had gotten to the point in my life where I thought I couldn't love with or without adderall, but the realization that I was essentially killing myself mentally and physically became very real. Many other people will chime in here, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone. So many of us have felt similar to how you're feeling right now and have quit and have created new, happier lives for ourselves. There is hope, and you've found the right place to discover that. I'm sorry for the circumstances, but I'm so glad you've reached out to us. After reading your story, I wanted to reply immediately. My heart goes out to you. Please stay close to the forums!

3.5 miles outside tonight....some walking. At 10.5 for the week, if I include the walking and running. Guys, need advice on whether I count strictly running or count the whole workout?

Hang in there, Jon. We're all rooting for you. It's okay to not feel completely happy and positive during recovery, because let's be honest, it can be a real bitch....but don't forget to always remember the alternative....the lifelessness of adderall existence. May you be blessed with patience! You'll get through this.

Don't be jealous I got to meet her in person Seriously though, you've been amazing LilTex! You are so knowledgeable and full of great advice without ever seeming pushy or judgmental...don't know how you do it, lady....but we heart you here.

Occasional, 9 months....yaaay! That's a major milestone. Congratulations! I know it's not always easy, even at 9 months, but you're that much further away from that insanity that is adderall addiction. Very proud of you, and I admire your dedication to our fitness club. You're setting the bar high for all of us! P.S. Is it farther away or further away? Either say, you know what I mean

Feeling good! Constantly hungry and a little sleepy but I guess this just means I'm human lol I love this. I think learning and accepting that we are human is such an essential part of quitting and recovery. I'm really impressed by you two, Lunax and Freedom's Wings....keep it up!!

I did 7 miles on the treadmill tonight. I'd guess 5.5 of it running, but I'm not sure. After trying to get used to running outside, the treadmill was nice....and easier!

Dude, very impressive. I'm only at 6.5 miles....baaaahhh. I'm going to make a promise that next week, I will do 12.....no ifs, and, or buts. I promised ya'll, so that means I have to!

The classic Saved by the Bell episode. Love it, Cassie.

No way. This is so sick and twisted.

Lunax, I'm currently on 150mgs xl of Wellbutrin. When I first took it, I, too, noticed the red, glassy eye thing...and shaky and anxious too for like a week. And I had energy that I wasn't used to. It's possible that this is too much of an increase for you, but I noticed my body adjusted pretty quickly and those side effects subsided. I think splitting one in half would be a good idea, like Cassie suggested. Just like most medications you have to see what works for your body.

I ran 3.5 tonight...no walking , so I'm at 6.5.

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3956114

As Cassie said, weaning is the way to go...if you're not addicted. Alcoholics don't stop drinking by only allowing themselves one or two drinks a day, and from what I've seen of those on this site, us adderall addicts are the same. Even with the best intentions, it's addiction. I speak from experience of trying weaning... I was always right back to my normal abuse within a week. I hope you make the choice to dump the pills and do it. It's scary, I know, but you can do it!!!!

I did 3 miles last night....walked more than I wanted to, but I thought I was dying, ya'll Great work, ladies. And so glad you're doing it, MFA ðŸ‘ðŸ‘ðŸ‘

MFA, so does this mean you're joining the club?!!! Awesome!!

If you can, reserve some days for sleep. Sleep and rest are what you need for a little while.

Ali, Excellent! One day down!! Just keep on keepin' on, and you'll be juuuuust fine

So true, LilTex. Peace, love, and recovery ✌

I love your picture! And a great story behind it.

Lunax, That's great! I know it's probably no fun but yaaaay! The power of the people on this site is amazing. One day at a time.

Ok, I ran outside tonight again (or tried) ha. I did 3.5 miles, but I probably walked 1/2 to 3/4 of a mile. Geez!!

Way to go occasional!

You seem so....at peace...right now. I don't have a lot of advice, since I'm not in the fast-paced business world, but I can only imagine the stressors of that along with recovery. Recovery is a like a full-time job sometimes, and I'm SO happy you're giving yourself the time to heal, that you didn't really allow yourself thus far. You have been more than successful in my book, and you deserve this time to truly heal and rest your brain for awhile. You got through this without taking adderall, so helllooo...SUCCESS. Recovery is a long process, you are so right! But we ARE recovering and that's what's important. I'm sorry for the circumstances but so glad you've come to these realizations. Thanks for sharing, my friend.