ashley6

I'm going! You all have inspired me!!! Update: I ran outside 4 miles. 1/3 of the way there for the week

Ok friends, I just got off of work, and I want to sit on the couch and watch tv, but I'm getting my running clothes on and going!!!! I struggled with 2.5 miles outside last week, but I'll give it a shot

AmyQ, I agree that you made a very good decision!!! I think the consensus is also that this is an extremely hard step, because it makes it so real. I feel like it's about your doctor no longer prescribing you adderall (hope so, at least), but you're also stepping out of that denial that goes with addiction. I'm proud of your choice....just because you might be freaking out doesn't mean it's not the best choice! Way to go!

You all flippin rock. I have been soooo bad. I ran 2.5 miles this week total. I was slacking before this new job, but I feel proud of what I've accomplished with this new "regular" schedule, so I'm not going to beat myself up too hard for the lack of running. (I hope this isn't an excuse) This week should be a less busy week, so I pledge to do 12 miles. If not, I want one of you to kick my butt....seriously. I went shopping yesterday, and my pants size is bigger than I've ever been. I panicked a little, so it's time to ruuuuuun! Again, great job everyone!!!! InRecovery, Sorry for planting that seed in your head, but I really think running outside is sooo much harder...period

Parkerstephen, I'm really glad you came here and shared your story! I could really relate to your adderall story. It just took me a lot longer to catch on that it was ruining my life. I'm truly happy for you and congratulations on a year free from adderall addiction. You're so right....quitting adderall is worth it!

You guys are doing great. I hear you...I need to get my shit together! Liltex, that's a cool story! I'll have to look him up sometime. Sweetcarolinee, Work is going well, but today kicked my butt! Today I worked from 7:45-6. It's probably not a big deal for most people, but it's a big adjustment for me. It's 8:30, and I'm like ready for bed! How is your new job going?

Big fat 0!

Robin, I'm sorry to hear this, but I'm glad you came here. I hope you choose to keep fighting!!! So I know you came across adderall and didn't resist? It's really tough dealing with being tired a lot. I get it! Was there more to you taking adderall then that? How have you been feeling emotionally? If you came across more adderall in the future, what are some ways you can protect yourself or have some sort of plan in place? Addiction is evil, but you CAN do this....adderall-free!

So, I'm about 40 hours in for this week at my new job. The first 3 days were hard (but still not terrible and better than expected) adjusting and sitting in a "classroom" all day learning basically. Yesterday and today I've been out in the field with a worker continuing to learn and see what I can expect. I've been pleasantly surprised that I find it very interesting so far! It's definitely going to be a tough job in terms of seeing some really unbelievable stuff and having to be really organized (I'm so not), so this will be a skill I've found I'll have to learn to be successful at this job---job skill #1, quitonce. To be honest, I was SO worried that I wouldn't be able to even stay awake with how tired I often am, but I was okay this week (lots of caffeine included) I just wanted to check in with you, my friends!

Zerokewl, I'm very happy you're being proactive with your mental health! When people I know talk to me and are thinking about going to counseling, my point-of-view is that it can't hurt. I might feel that way because I have a great counselor, but I've been to plenty of counseling in the past, and the worst that's happened is I didn't get much out of it....but I actually think every counselor has helped in some way. Wow, I sound like a crazy person. I've only had like 5 of them...ha. But really, I'm glad you're going and be as open as possible. And like people posted above, you can decide if they're a good fit for you!

My gosh, LilTex.....you're killing it, like I knew you would!!!

Sweetcarolinee, That sounds very cool. You should take advantage of being artsy and creative....good for you! There are four of us altogether training, and today when we're sitting in the training room, one of the girl's phone alarm goes off during our session. She's like "sorry, I have to take my pill." My mind automatically goes to, "I wonder if it's adderall." So after that, I'm like watching her to see if she acts like she's on it, which she totally doesn't. It's so annoying that it even matters to me. She could be taking anything, and even if it is adderall....SO WHAT?! Then, I go to get coffee on my lunch break, and a random girl is sitting there with a pill bottle on the table. I realize I'm trying to read it. It's not like I'm trying to get any from them, it's just a curiosity thing. Then I start worrying....is this abnormal??? The only answer I can come up with is that was my life for 7 years, and it's like a phobia to be around it. Anyone else experience this to some extent?

Congratulations, InRecovery! I'm so happy for you! When will you start? My phone problem fixed itself also, but nice iPhone jab, JustinW Day 2 is going well. It's more interesting then yesterday since we got the basic necessary orientation stuff out of the way yesterday. I'm struggling with being a little tired, because my schedule was so different with my last job, but I think my body will adapt. Ok, just wanted to check in on my lunch break....3.5 hours to go today!

It sounds like your interview went well, InRecovery. I hope you get some news soon. I haven't been on hhere much, because it won't let me post via my phone. Any of you savvy with technology know why it would keep logging me out after I logged on to this site? It's so annoying! I had to change my password recently, and it's been acting weird ever since. I don't get on my computer that often, so I want to be able to post from my phone. Anywayyyy, I had my first day of training today. It was long (8:30-5) with lots of information, but I mostly like what I've learned so far...I'll keep you posted Another long day of training tomorrow.

I did 3 miles this week......ok, pretty bad, but at least it's not 0?? ha. good job, occasional!

I was having problems logging onto here through my phone, so I read all of your posts, it just wouldn't let me respond It's working on my computer, though. Thank you all for your thoughtful posts! Who knew that we could find such an amazing support system on a website? You all have no idea how much I want a dog. My living situation right now won't allow it, but I have puppy fever! After thinking about my post, I don't want it to sound like i'm bragging about how great my life is, because I still have my struggles for sure, but if I'm comparing the adderall days versus my life now, I can only be extremely grateful. Quitonce, I think those are some great points you make in continuing moving forward in recovery. And for those of you who thought I might ditch this site, I'm not going anywhere! One day at a time is all we can do....so keep on keeping on, my quitting friends

Occasional, Oh my goodness, that was a touching letter. Thank you for sharing. Like Liltex, I'm still working on that part, and I commend you for being there now. You're going to rock this thesis.

I truly can't believe it's been 2 years since I've started this journey of giving up something that meant so much to me, and I truly thought I couldn't live without...adderall. When I reflect back on what my life was like two years ago before I quit versus the life I have now, I am SO grateful for where I am. The last one and a half to two years of my seven years of adderall use were pretty heavy abuse. I was simply existing and working to buy more and more and more pills. I was in the darkest of places emotionally and mentally, and I knew something was bound to happen, whether it be jail, psych ward, or honestly I wasn't so sure death wasn't a possibility. I woke up to get high, I was living with a man fifteen years older than me who had no intention of marrying me or even having a future with me, and I was a lost soul. These past two years have been both a struggle but some of the most rewarding times of my life. One thing I definitely lost along the way was my confidence. I didn't feel or believe I deserved a better life. When I quit adderall, I didn't really have the option to just get by anymore. I had to learn to attempt to build a life of something I was proud of, because I wasn't hiding behind drugs anymore. The best part about it is I actually CARED and had the desire to make a better life for myself. I finished college in December, am starting my new career next Monday (ahhhh!) and have found a relationship with a man that truly values me. I still think about adderall. I'm looking forward to the time when I don't (if that ever happens), but through the help of this site and my counselor (and lots and lots of prayer) I feel like I've found ways to deal with it. I'm nervous/scared to begin my career, but I know letting fear stand in the way is the last thing I want to happen. I still deal with being tired often, but I doubt this has a whole lot to do with adderall at this point. I plan on making an appointment at a sleep study center to see if I can get any answers as to why. For those of you who have helped me along the way, I'm SO grateful for you all, and I truly don't think I'd have two years under my belt without your support. At the beginning, I was a mess (still am sometimes), and Cassie, LilTex, Inrecovery, and quit-once, you put up with me from the beginning I continue to learn a lot from this site from so many of you....too many to name. For those of you struggling with giving up adderall, you can do it! It is SO worth it!

My eating habits are sub par, so I commend you ladies for yours! I can't imagine eating no meat! I really need to start focusing on eating well. I have a feeling my diet might have something to do with why I'm so tired a lot. Oh yeah, and I'm embarrassed to check in with 0 miles this week. It's on next week, though Great job, you all!!!!

InRecovery, Thank you! You're doing so well with these interviews...you've got this. Plus, you'll be making a lot more $$$$$ than me

I got a call from the job I've been thinking about taking for a week or so now. He said he needed a decision today, so I weighed my options, pros/cons, and I took it! I start April 7. I'm really excited to get started in my field! I think this next step is what I need....I'm not locked into the job forever, so I think it's a good place to start. I'm thankful for this thread that motivated me

Congratulations! I'd think if they're flying you out, they like you pretty well! When is the interview?

It's a company that the government hires, but it's not directly for the government. It's a for profit company. I have a friend of a friend that knows a few people that work there, and she said they're "miserable." I think I do recognize triggers and would come here in a second for help. I want to be 100% sure about a job....but that's probably not going to happen. I truly think I got lucky in these interviews, or they really needed people, because I'm not that good. If they gave me scenarios and asked off the wall questions like you get, I'd never get a flippin job!!!

These threads are meant to be all over the place....no biggie. And yes, my sole reservation is triggery areas...at least I think it's the only one...the biggest for sure. I wish I had someone to make big decisions for me, because I suck at it!

Liltex, I too, can't imagine working out every day. You are a champ!!! Good job, occasional. I'm checking in with a big fat 0 this week. I wasn't looking forward to check-in