ashley6

Wellllll, I'm at 3 this week. 👎👎👎 I was going to gym after work, but it's almost 9 already, so I doubt I will. Good job occasional!!!

Robin, You make lots of good points here. You said your husband is a physician. I'm just curious what his thoughts on adderall are. Obviously not everyone gets addicted like us here, and he's seen the toll it's taken on you, but what are his thoughts? I'm making the assumption he's a general practicioner or something of that nature...and I could be way wrong It just blows my mind how the medical community as a whole hasn't seem to realize how dangerous these medications can be...legal speed.

Robin, You make lots of good points here. You said your husband is a physician. I'm just curious what his thoughts on adderall are. Obviously not everyone gets addicted like us here, and he's seen the toll it's taken on his wife, but what are his thoughts? I'm making the assumption he's a general practicioner or something of that nature...and I could be way wrong It just blows my mind how the medical community as a whole hasn't seem to realize how dangerous these medications can be...legal speed.

Yeah, that might be overly ambitious!

A thread about submitting 3-5 resumes is a great idea to help us stay accountable (me especially). I have no excuse why my résumé isn't done yet. I just haven't done it. There are probably more reasons than I realize (like fear), but that's really irrelevant when I just have to do it (hence the Ipledge ) When do you plan on starting submitting?

Zerokewl, It's tough running into old using "buddies"/ drug dealers. It represents a whole different life we once lived....a person we no longer know. That's how it was for me. When it happened to me a year ago or so, I HATED that I was jealous she was tweaking (I grew to truly dislike this girl anyway), but at the time it was my natural response of a recovering adderall addict. When I took more time to reflect on the situation, I realized how glad I was I was no longer in that life. I agree that working through these emotions is a huge part of the recovery process. You'll learn a lot about your recovery and yourself. This is a good place to vent for sure!!

Sweetcarolinee, Great job!!! I want to see your dog! If you're using your phone, you have to click on full version on the bottom, and it will give you the option to upload an attachment. I don't get on here on my computer much, so I'm not sure about that. I did 0 miles this week. I wasn't looking forward to this check-in Sunday Booo! It's time to pick it up next week! How'd the rest of you do?

Sweetcarolinee, Your etsy shop is great! The dresses are adorable, and I want to buy them. Money is tight right now, but when things ease up a little, I want to shop your store! You're so talented!

And to think I'm looking forward to next week when it's going to make it to the 40s and 50s. I want the beach!

Keep up the hard work, InRecovery! You're doing great!

Sweetcarolinee, Justin has some good advice there! Keep it up. You're doing great!

My dad is a budget consultant for oil companies, and I can't do simple math. I got totally screwed on the genetics in that area Good luck!

InRecovery, Wow! That guy,( Peter is it?), is a perfect example of someone arguing something with complete ignorance to a topic. I like when Matthew Perry says, "well, Santa," and it pisses that guy off so much. Haha. Thanks for sharing! And I'm glad you found us too!!!

That math gives me a panic attack.

InRecovery, I don't know if I forgot or what, but I feel like I didn't know you were involved in NA and AA. What made you quit going to meetings? The Philip Seymour Hoffman death made me think too. I tell my counselor sometimes how frustrating it is that I ever became an addict. . I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It was really sad for me to read a Facebook status from an acquaintance that said something like, while I feel bad that he died, why are so many people talking about a guy who died because he chose to do heroin? I probably wouldn't get it either had I not been through addiction, but it really got under my skin. Anyway, I think it shows us that adderall sobriety requires maintenance.

Good job, jay! I'm rooting for you. Lucky ducky, You did kill the happy part of your brain....temporarily. Feeling numb, sad, and just blah are very common when quitting. The anhedonia is rough for awhile. Patience is vital. Things DO improve, and you will feel again...even happiness!

I pledge to have my résumé and cover letter completely finished and start applying for jobs by February 30.

Nosleep_ox, I want to start by saying I agree with every post above on this thread. The point that stands out to me the most is that recovery is a new normal. It takes time to come to terms with and learn what that new normal is, but it's a much, much more peaceful place. With that being said, there is a difference between feeling like you should quit and knowing you can't go on like this and being ready to quit. I appreciate your honesty about where you are in that regard. You asked the question when was the time we were ready to quit. Mine was very much an aha moment. First of all, I took my parents to my counselor with me to tell them I was addicted to adderall, and I needed to make changes in my life. They were supportive. This was the point in my addiction that my counselor and I discussed as the contemplation stage. I was at that point for about a year....trying to control my usage unsuccessfully and eventually abusing back to where I had been. During that time, I became ready (or as ready as you can ever feel) to fight my heart out to quit and move on to what counselors call the action stage. Sitting with my addiction counselor in a session, I told her I'm ready. She asked if I'd be willing to consider rehab. I said yes. She called a rehab right then who said I could drive for an evaluation at that very moment. I drove there, scared out of my mind, bawling my eyes out and went in for an evaluation. As I was speaking with them, that's when it all hit me. If I didn't choose to give this 100% on my own (and by my own I mean lots of prayer, this site, and a great support system), I was GOING TO REHAB. While I have the utmost respect for people who choose to go to rehab to fight their addictions, I was terrified of it, so from that day I decided I was going to give this the best shot I could on my own, or I was checking myself into that facility....and that has been the deal I've promised myself ever since, abstinence from all speed or rehab. Sorry this was long, I just want you to know I understand where you are coming from...I think each of us has our own path to becoming ready, whether it be rock bottom or not. If you're not ready now, I think you'll get there. It's just sad to think the years of our lives this addiction can take from us. Keep posting....you never know when something might be an aha moment for you!!! I wish you all of the best.

Very nice, occasional!!! I got in 7 this week....3 of it being that 5K yesterday. It was like 23 degrees and snowing, but I really liked it! It made me realize running in the cold isn't so bad! I plan on doing more formal runs. There's something great about the atmosphere and being around people with the same goal...really motivational!

I think using adderall for dealing with depression is probably the most high-risk situation. Not everyone will get addicted, but for people with depression, adderall seems to solve your problems....at first. I've battled depression and anxiety my whole life off and on and when I started adderall, I thought this what life was supposed to feel like. It created a false sense of happiness/euphoria, and it can backfire, resulting in stronger depression than before you ever started. If addiction does happen, it's a whole different monster. I never planned on abusing the drug, but adderall took over eventually. It truly is playing with fire, like zerokewl said.

I needed to read that today. Thanks for sharing!

Justin, A year is a great accomplishment and milestone and passing your pilot's exam is icing on the cake....just reinforcing you, in fact, don't need adderall to succeed! Your consistently posting on the forums about your journey, and I'm excited to see what the future holds for you! Congratulations!

Jay, Congratulations on your progress! Lucky ducky, That's good news on finding a therapist. I've never heard of walking/hiking therapy, but it seems very cool....two birds with one stone! If you're uncomfortable with it, therapy in that environment could be good to ease your mind. When is your appointment? Keep us posted!

I thought the similar thoughts when I heard about his death, zerokewl. He had reportedly gotten and stayed sober for many, many years too. Very tragic.

FrankB, I'm very glad quitting adderall has been so easy for you (and a bit envious) but quitting adderall/recovery is different for everyone. If I read this post in my early days, I would think something was wrong with me, because I was basically a zombie for months. I'm not trying to be negative Nancy here. I truly am glad there are lucky people like you who don't miss anything about adderall, but I think this site is reason enough to believe it's a big battle for some people to quit/stay quit. With that being said, congratulations on your quit!!!! And great on cutting back on smoking!