ashley6

Brandnewme, I really think you'll find that you feel better once you find a job! I recently started my first "real" job since finishing college, and it has made a big difference in how I feel overall. Before the job, I had lots of idle time, and as much as I like it sometimes, only short periods of idle time are good for me. I think it's great that you have AA as a support system. If you're going to meetings in Illinois, I bet you'll gain back a steady support system there. I don't go to meetings, but I have been, and I've seen how great it can be for addicts. I don't particularly remember 16 months, but I do know that I didn't start feeling like I was getting motivation until about two years, but it varies for everyone, so just hang in there, and I think you'll feel better soon! Exercise is great for your mental state (and so many other benefits) so definitely a good idea! I need to get my butt back to exercising! I hope you'll keep us posted and a huge congratulations on 16 months!

I do agree that having like no expectations of yourself (well, as low as possible for as long as it takes) is very beneficial for recovery! People's timetables vary a lot on when things start returning, like any motivation whatsoever. For me, I think it has taken longer than average, but then again I don't like to put timelines on recovery. It can be discouraging if someone thinks they should be THIS far along after THIS long, because it's simply not the case. You are where you are and staying clean from adderall can feel like a job all on it's own. Anyway, Justin, I have a had to be in neighborhoods for work that were my "adderall areas," but then again I'm driving all over the place. There's a house that I'm at two days a week, and there are different cars there almost every time I'm there going in and out of the house. If it's not a drug house, then someone has A LOT of friends. It makes me uncomfortable, but nothing too extreme. You guys are the bomb! By the way, where's LilTex?! Have I just missed her posts?

I really appreciate the support I've gotten from you three. Quit-once, I couldn't imagine doing this job even a year into my quit, so I agree with you fully on taking your time (I know this isn't always possible). Jon, you have such a way with words, and your post is just so kind. I'm glad you came out of hiding....now, no more hiding! I appreciate your wisdom, and I know I'm not the only one. InRecovery, I want to hear how your work is going....5:20 am sounds disgusting I hope it's going well

I guess it's not THAT new anymore, but I think about 2 months or something. I am SO glad I took this job. I think I worked about 45-50 hours this week, but I have learned so much....even about life...from my work and my clients in the past couple of months. I think for me, this was so positive for my recovery. It gives me perspective and teaches me to focus on other people more and myself less. While some people might hate the hours of this job, I do not see myself as a 9 to 5 person...not for now, at least. I really think things started to fall into place at the right time for my recovery. I took it easy on myself for a looooong time, but I'm okay with that. I just want to tell those of you that are struggling that it does get better! My motivation is returning! I still think of adderall sometimes, but I'm so grateful for where I am right now after struggling for so long and feeling so hopeless some days. Life is not perfect, but I'm so grateful for where I am today....one day at a time I feel like I'm out of the loop on here, and I don't like that. I'm going to make an effort to stay closer to the site...one of my major support systems!

AmyQ, I appreciate you posting about this!

I have to say, just doing what I did reminded me how much I love the after-workout feeling!

I decided to attempt a run for the first time in like a month yesterday. I only ran 1.5 and walked 2.5 I've lost it!!! It was SO hard, and my legs are even a little sore. It's not too late to get it back, right?!

I couldn't talk to people without breaking out into a panic attack (or at least thinking I would). My job involves a lot of organization. I'm not great now, (working on it), but I feel like I lacked the ability to be organized whatsoever on adderall. My mind was way too scattered. I probably wouldn't keep my scheduled appointments. I rarely followed through with anything on adderall, and if I did, it was usually weird, unimportant stuff.

This thread is the shiz!

Can we borrow miles? I did 0, so I just need to borrow 12 from you, InRecovery. You are amazing!

I can't even fathom 39.5 miles! Why don't you run some half marathons or a marathon?! Are you just not into that? You are a balllllerrrrr. I did zerooooo.

InRecovery, You're killing it!!! I'm quite proud. I haven't run in like 3 weeks or something....terrible.

BigBeezy, I'm glad to hear you've decided to quit before it gets worse. How are you feeling?

InRecovery, I'm going to make an excuse for you. You just finished intense finals and a break is okay....or am I wrong? I don't know...ha. It's bad to say, but I was relieved I'm not the only one...does that make me a bad person? I'm at zero too, and I have no excuse. I just have to make it a priority again.

Occasional, You could be right. I seriously struggle with running in any sort of heat. I've always kind of been like that. 16 miles is awesome! It sounds like you had an enjoyable run yesterday! I'm checking in with a big fat 0

I bet it's SUCH a relief to be done with finals!!! I hope you thoroughly enjoy your time off of school! You know, all we can do is share what we went through with our adderall addiction. It doesn't mean your friends will be adderall addicts, but it's sooo risky, as we all know. I guess I think back and wonder if someone would've told me their horror stories about adderall if I would've considered stopping taking it. Unfortunately, I don't think so, because I liked how adderall made me feel, and I probably would've just denied that it could happen to me. I think it's great you care enough about your friends to share your experiences, though!

InRecovery, I'm proud of you and good luck!

Kev, One month is an accomplishment....congratulations!

Occasional, I haven't really looked much more into it. It's definitely worth researching, though. I would be so happy to be without the ritualistic behaviors! I'm sorry to hear you still pick your face. Did you do it before adderall???

Formydaughter, I believe adderall was the culprit of my OCD. It was terrible on adderall, but two years off of it, and I still struggle. I exhibited OCD behaviors for a short period when I was younger but not like this. I think there are some things that don't necessarily subside after quitting, but SO many (most) bad side effects do!!! I hope you choose to quit if you think it would benefit you.

I'm blown away at the updates this week....WOW....good work, friends! Liltex ran back to back half marathons....no big deal! I only did 2.5 this week....booo. I don't know what's wrong with me, but after my 4 mile run last week and after this run, I feel so weird. I continue sweating even after I bathe but at the same time I have chills for like a couple hours. Last week, I was dizzy too. Does it sound like dehydration? It really only happens when I get really hot. Anyway, way to go, club!

I did mine outside too...14...WAY TO GO. I don't do running well in 85-90 degree weather...toooo hot! I didn't make it to 12, but at least it's not 3

I ran 7.5 this week, ya'll.

Sweetcarolinee, I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. I said a special prayer for you tonight. I don't have any words to make you feel better, but I hope in time you start feeling better!

Sweetcarolinee, I'm really sorry to hear about your grandma....hang in there! Liltex, I'm sorry about what you went through too, but your grandpa would be so proud of who you've become. You were in the midst of your addiction, so I hope you don't beat yourself up about it.