JustinW

Anxiety bares it's head when I have too many emails to handle or too many things that need to get done. I also get anxious when grocery shopping because it's visual over-stimulation. Depression was bad through the first year. Now I feel down at times but usually not more than a day. I find it hard to get real excited about things still. I thought I would be pumped when I graduated with my b.s. but I only felt relief. I think it would have been better if someone was excited with me but my closest relations were merely happy. My wife gives another perspective and that is that we tend to get less excited about things the older we get. So maybe that's part of it too.

I struggle with forgetfulness, focus, procrastination, and motivation. So...a place for everything and everything in its place is what I strive for (about 50% successful). The other three are a mental struggle. Once I start something I realize that I have made it out to be some big bad obstacle but it isn't so bad. Checklists have helped a ton and any gamification of tasks helps too. Do I feel normal? I'm not sure I ever was normal so I can't answer that. Most of the time I am peaceful, happy, and fulfilled. That's pretty good in my book. Getting out of the dark pit of adderall was not easy but worth it. I'm still on the journey and will always be.

Okay, I haven't been around for a while but I do check in from time to time. It's been a busy time over the past year with two cross country moves but I'm back in Texas again. For those that are just starting your journey, there is hope! I quit in February of 2013 so I'm a little over 5 years. I still struggle from time to time but there are healthy ways to cope. I recently traded the Vitamin Water Zero for a vegan protein shake first thing in the morning which has helped my energy and focus plus there is no crash in the afternoon. Try to eat as healthy as possible. What you put into your body makes a huge difference in your energy and focus levels. My brain has healed very well. A year ago I felt like completing my 4 year degree was well out of reach but I graduated this February and just started my MBA this month. There is life after Adderall; a full, rich, and wonderful life. This forum saved my life and I am grateful for everyone here regardless of the progress on your journey. There is light at the end of the tunnel just keep hanging on! -J

Way to go Liltex!!!

Lol, Frank is Straight Out of Compton. I guess you still have 2/3 of NWA.

Tom, I am extremely happy for you. I got married last year to an amazing woman also. If it weren't for this site and people like you i would still be addicted and stuck in an abusive marriage.

I still struggle reading long posts due to visual processing deficit. Vitamin B6 and 12 seem to help with focus. Nothing like the hyper focus on that poison but as others have said, give yourself time to heal. Things get better and it is all worth it to feel alive again.

Your story is truly touching and you have seen how bad things can be. You can visualize how much worse they can get. Please make this sits your new addiction. Everyone here is amazing and will be there through the good times and bad of recovery. I will tell you that there is a beautiful life in freedom from this demon. Please don't stop coming back here. Visit every time you think about relapsing again. Post the blunt truth and it will help you heal. Best wishes in your journey. Thank you for your transparency in sharing your story. You can do this!

I've been drinking vitamin water zero lately and I find it helps a lot in keeping a positive mental state

I was in Houston, TX but back in the he'll hole of Minneapolis, MN

Happy to be alive!

Glad to see you are winning Frank, I remember how tough it was for you in the beginning!

Rain!!!

Congratulations HC!!!

Woot!

It is pretty neat. Our company uses Concur for expenses which automatically links to Tripit. I end up on the road about every other week right now so it's kind of insane but better than last year where it was 5 out of 6 weeks on the road. Headed home now!

Yes, it most definitely does get better after 6 months (+/- a few weeks). The changes at that point are noticeable; you won't feel back to normal but you will see the improvement in the quality of your life. I joined these forums at about 5 months when I was just about ready to give up and the though crossed my mind up to about the 1 year point. After 1 year, I rarely thought about going back and now I see it for what it is - a deep dark black hole that swallows your soul and personality. Nothing is worth giving up who you are. Stay strong and you will get there!

Is anyone else here a road warrior? I have been using Trip It for a little over a year and it has helped me connect with my friends during layovers. I figured I'd toss it out there in case anyone else is living out of a suitcase and is interested in sharing some coffee / dinner.

Something beautiful

Hey Ashley, I understand about not getting back here as much as you'd like. Life just gets so busy sometimes. I'm glad to hear that you are still living successfully. Everyone here has been a great help to each other.

Good for you and congratulations on the little one!

I felt like the whole world had come crashing down on me but there was no choice but to push on. It's a miserable existence for a while but you really start to be able to see your progress at 6 months which helps carry you through the first 2 years. Then life starts to settle out and the habits / coping mechanisms that you formed for yourself become incredibly important. The romance wears off during that time too and you only see darkness in going back to the drugs.

Congratulations on 4 years!

How is everyone doing? Been so swamped with the new job for the past year and a half along with some major personal issues but grateful to be free from Adderall. Had some successes too with the new job so life is great and exciting but a challenge to at times. Quitting Adderall helped identify my weaknesses and working within my limits has been almost as huge as cutting myself some slack from time to time. I love you all. (I know, more than 1 word).

Hang in there everyone and keep fighting the good fight. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and you will look back at this experience in a couple of years remembering the pain but grateful / thankful that you finally got out of the pit. It is hard work but every day is a gift that you give yourself - freedom!