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Hi MFA - You sound so good! Just sayin' I've also stopped taking atro-phex and have gone back to 5-hour energies. I still can't stand drinking them but they do give me a boost - one in the am, one in the afternoon. They taste too nasty to abuse. I'm definitely over so-called smart drugs and proprietary blends. I feel like I've tried everything and with no noticeable, lasting change it's not worth the risk of putting something unknown into my body. Yet I still drink 5-hour energy so I guess it's all relative. Anyway... I've been traveling a lot this summer and will definitely PM my next trip to NYC which will be in the fall. Take care. xo.

Hey guys -- I know it's been ages since I've posted but couldn't resist the wellbutrin thread. Nothing earthshattering ... I've been taking it for a while (years pre-ritalin & months post) and I too find it helpful for depression. It does act on dopamine but not in the same way as adderall and as mentioned above not at all comparable. I do, however, believe it has appetite suppressing effects.

Hi Heather -- It's always good to hear from you regardless of how you're doing. Just admitting it is taking a step towards making the desire to quit conscious. You are caught in the throes of addiction. I remember every time I took ritalin - once addicted, even at small doses, my brain was immediately hijacked. I couldn't even get the benefits it used to give me because my mind went in one direction only -- MORE -- to the exclusion of all else -- and no amount was ever enough. It was awful. And I know how you feel. I felt like one of those frenzied lab rats repeating some inane behavior never to find the reward -- SUCKS. I echo the above comments -- people on here seem to know you pretty well. This has to be a new day for you. Past attempts are not failures if you can learn from them, and it doesn't matter how many times you've tried - you only need one to be successful!

3 miles !!!

A - MAZE - ING !!!!! This really is such an inspiration !!!!!!

holy shit !

I was able to end a 2 year relationship after 3 sessions of couples counseling but I know that marriage is a lot more complicated . For me I was able to really hear my boyfriend in the office of a good family therapist. We went with the objective of marriage vs breakup and I knew after the first session. Whatever your objective -- just wanted to put that out there. Do stay close though! That's what we're here for.

Congratulations QO on 2 YEARS OF FREEDOM !!!! Your story is very inspiring, the way you planned your quit, subsequently trashing the hoard and moving thru uncharted waters. Your insights and comments are right on and I'm glad you didn't fade away. Thank you for everything you have given us.

Ok so I haven't been keeping up with the mileage but don't rule me out just yet -- Spent a LONG time in the gym lifting weights which felt AMAZING!!! There's nothing more empowering than feeling strong. Running is next.

Hi MFA -- First of all you're doing great and you have no reason not to fully accept yourself just as you are right now. Your husband needs a "talking-to" ... He knows about your addiction but probably does not understand the dynamics of relapse and recovery, as many loved ones do not. You need to make him understand that him making comments about weight is a HUGE trigger. It is for me too, believe me, a major trigger -- I used to be very heavy, lost a lot of weight (before speed) and have kept it off for several years, and for 2 of those years ritalin was my secret weapon. We all have our reasons. It is what it is but pleassssssssssssssssssssse -- do not let these comments get to you. I hope that you are able to talk to him and if your not then have a few sessions of couples therapy. But the first step for sure is admitting that you're triggered and you've done that so stay strong.

CONGRATULATIONS !!!!! Mission accomplished. I feel so proud of you -- I'm coming up on 5 months in June and have not accomplished half as much but am so inspired by reading your post. Good for you!

I believe that ADHD/ ADD is a legitimate diagnosis and that amphetamines do, in fact, help -- for the non-addict. There have been numerous peer reviewed studies showing amphetamines to be helpful for ADD type issues with executive functions of the pre-frontal cortex. Unfortunately for us addicts, this is not an option but there are many other options. For those of us around the age of 50, ADD was unheard of when we were children and what did we do? We worked harder, sometimes with the help of teachers, tudors, remedial reading.... whatever.... or we just did BAD in school but proved our worth later in life. e.g. how many times have you heard you were so smart if only you would apply yourself???? Then there are the non stimulant meds like stratera or off-label meds like wellbutrin and cognitive strategies on overcoming procrastination. I swear I'm not trying to be a naysayer -- I've been off stimulants for almost 5 months now and although I have to work a hell of a lot harder, I feel like I'm getting it done. It sucks being an addict but it's in my genes so I have to consider other options. So although amphetamines work well for some, they are not an option for me at this time or probably ever...

GOOD JOB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So true!

Hey guys -- Well... I walked. Unfortunately it was nowhere near 12 miles but I did get the feeling of how great it feels to get out very first thing in the morning. It's a start anyway.

Just watch -- lots of twists and turns and so thriling you will forget you read this.

This topic is very timely for me right now because I have been in a somewhat transitional state (moving) and going out for drinks after work with "the boys" pretty much every night for the past month and a half. This has always been an option and always will be but usually something I only do on holidays and special occasions. I find myself doing it lately just to distract myself from the stress of moving which is pretty stressful for a shitload of reasons. I've never been into drinking and only drink beer or wine. Usually when we go out I have 2 or 3 glasses of wine but for me that's a lot, especially every night. It definitely affects my mood the next day making me very depressed and low energy. Every day I say I'm going to stop but every day as work winds down I start thinking about having a glass of wine and now the guys are always including me in "the plans" as if it's a given. I've tried to just have one glass of wine but I always want more. I know I need to stop and never, EVER thought I would be saying this about freakin' wine ... So the idea of cutting it out all-together (along with supplements which I've already stopped taking) and throwing running into the mix sounds amazing. Mental clarity is all I want! I wish I would get addicted to running...

I know right !!!! This was an outstanding season and I am SO HAPPY for the winner. The only other person I would have liked to see win was the person who was preggers during the reunion.

DEAL !!!

Um ... Not yet. I'm out of town with literally no time until Thurs so hope to report very soon : )

Did you see last night's finale ?!?!?! I won't ruin the surprise in case you didn't but it was wonderful! They had several original cast from Borneo @ the reunion.

I love these and yes -- eat em like candy

I love your 'it is what it is' attitude QO!

MFA you are right where you need to be. I don't think you're brain damaged but hey, who am I to say -- I'm no brain surgeon. You seem happy for the most part, healthy, and doing great things with your life -- including right here. IMO the biggest winners are the ones with perseverance.

No decent rehab allows people to take stimulant meds for ADD -- too bad so sad -- what would be the harm in taking an adderall vacay? School kids do it all the time. Those with legitimate ADD that is ...