lea

tommorrow's a new day -- flush the pills, make a plan and forge ahead. Your posts show the rational part of you that wants to quit, unfortunately once the drug enters your system your rational brain is hijacked. I speak from personal experience. Something that helps me a lot is to reading 8 Stages of Amphetamine Use/Abuse in "Announcements" - reading it repeatedly. xo

Just downloaded kindle version -- sounds like a plan!

Exactly! I only ate to calm the afternoon 'OMG I'm so hyper I might have a heart attack !!!'. I lived on coffee, redbull and protein drinks... same experience w/ exercise too. I used to love running & strength training, got really lazy on rit -- would rather just not eat and do nothing after all who needs exercise when you're not eating... now I look like a speed freak. I went to a spa w a friend and tried some basic intro to spinning type classes and I thought I would pass out. Such a shame b/c there's nothing like real endorphins of real exercise - far superior to raise hand/ pop pill/ repeat. UGH --I want to be healthy again!

hi -- it's day 3 for me too. I had energy until about noon but more and more exhausted every hour -- minimal work activity followed by too much tv, eating and blowing people off which I hate... I'm hopeful though -- going to bed early trying to get as much sleep as possible. Exhaustion sucks but not as bad as being on the hellride... as I try to be optimistic. But I know that's true. I've been on ritalin 3 years, abusing the past 6-8 months but once the abuse started it progressed very fast -- scary -- was taking 100+ mg/day for the past month unable to taper so had to go cold turkey. I have to talk to my doc as well - give me strength... xo

3 days off and so far so good - a respite from yesterday's agony. I'll take it! Time for some yerba-mate tea!

Right now I'm in the worst part of physical detox and feel pretty bad - I need to read this again (and again) once the dopesick wears off. Thank you for posting.

Dragged myself to 3-hour meeting and forced myself to pay attention. Every time I consumed caffeine it made me nauseous. I went because I had to even though right now the whole thing's a blur. Day 2 evening sucks. I'm glad it's almost over because now I get to go to bed and hopefully not have nightmares -oh joy...

That's probably my biggest fear right now -- finding evil after finding sobriety. You done good girl! A real inspiration!

You two are great - thanks for the encouragement. sky - I'm not going to stress about eating an entire container of trail mix (among other things) -lol motivation follows action - great name, this needs to be my mantra. I haven't lifted my butt from the couch all day but actually have a work meeting @ 3:30 which means I have to shower - motivation follows action...

I think it's day 2 off ADD meds - I've been asleep for most of it but have not used since 1/8/13 @ 8pm. That was after another binge of popping a pill every hour - 3 nights no sleep, no food and counting the minutes until the next hit. I was so isolated the only person I could call for help was my former recovery coach - a miracle that I called anyone... I was a complete wreck and honestly believe I have never exposed this kind of raw emotional vulnerability to anyone. Today I have brain fog but my jaw feels better... I hope and pray I have learned my lesson and that this has been a wake-up call. I will pray everyday just to get through the next 5 minutes moving forward. I had to trash the meds b/c I am one of those poor animals in the experiments ... I feel sorry for them but only contempt for myself. I have been reading this website nonstop and only pray for the strength to get thru this. There has to be more to life than the "thrill" chasing a dopamine high. Your stories are my story. I hope that when my brain begins to recover I have the guts to write more about the addiction. Right now I need to focus on recovery - one minute at a time. Thanks to everyone on this site for sharing your denial-busting stories.

Anyone here read "Talking back to ritalin" by an MD named Breggman??? Thanks!

"Requiem for a Dream" This movie was extremely penetrating, especially the Ellen Burstyn character. The movie came out in the late 90's and I've seen it many times. Is this also a book? Thanks!

thank you so much liltex for your post. Yep, that last paragraph is me to a tee, not to mention the spread sheets, wow... my spread sheets have spread sheets, at least 5 working tabs on each. You are very kind and non-judgemental and for that I can't thank you enough. hugs right back at ya.

Thanks to all for the great articles and heartfelt posts. I have never considered quitting adderall until lately and certainly relate to a lot of what's written on this site. I do want to be honest though that I'm not 100% certain I'm ready to quit and hope it's ok to read and occasionally post here. For the first few years add meds made a huge difference in my life, motivation, levels of productivity etc... Now more often than not my mind is hijacked and all I focus on is what a great mood I'm in, then spend hours wasting the razor sharp focus on irrelevant activities to the exclusion of everythin else that really matters. I have taken more than the prescribed dose to the point where I run out 2 wks before my next doctor's appt and when I don't have it I'm depressed and unmotivated, don't even want to take a shower ... even though I'm on prozac and wellbutrin for depression. Basically I just want to say this seems like an awesome group of people and I will continue to read and learn and try to find the motivation to quit. xo lea