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Exercise is always a good one (easier said than done lol) and maybe supplements. Have you tried 5 HTP, valerian root or calming teas ??? In my experience with supplements it takes some experiementation... I take l tyrosine, atro-phex, multi-vite, D -- the usual suspects... good luck and keep up the good work! It's hard in the beginning but you.can.do.this !!!

Thank you for posting this update and congratulations! I am so encouraged

Awwwwww - congratulations! This is hysterical!!!

For those who pm'd and posted on this thread I am very grateful. Your words give me strength to get through another day. It's interesting to me that I felt so strong in my desire to stop and then bang, the urge hits you one moment of one day and I see how insidious these thoughts are but also understand that this is what happens. I'm exhausted now from a great day where I got a lot done and paid attention without disturbing thoughts of ritalin. Right now I'm glued to CNN about this horrific cruise ship situation ...

Occaisional -- It's wierd I was thinking the same thing today, only from a much more shallow perspective... weight I had the thought today very briefly and let it pass, which it did... and I go on reading my 'Getting More Done" workbook @ a snails pace because when I do have free time I feel braindead. It's really depressing ... For me it's been 36 days clean, up 10 pounds and still not exercising. I feel like shit right now after yet another binge, and there were also moments today I felt "normal" because I am finally able to communicate with people and enjoy it. before I was hiding behind a mask, going thru the motions while strongly resenting anyone and everyone who dared to invade my high. This is the first time I have actually let thoughts of using enter my head, that maybe, just maybe I can pop just a few pills a day to get my eating back under control. I am not the person right now who can genuinely tell you not to do it. I respect your point of view and where you're coming from. It just feels strange to have these thoughts ... How do I get rid of them ????? For now I'm going to bed and plan to sleep a good 8 hours and pray to G-d I can find the strength to get thru this. Will go to OA tomorrow after work because coming straight home is not good for me. I hope and pray we both find the strength to move forward on the path to recovery. xoxo

So here's some info on caffeine content from energyfiend.com, which will also tell you how much caffeine will kill you (It takes a lot!) they didn't have atro-phex but a newer comparable bsn product, hyper-shred has 180 mg/capsule or 360 in 2 5 hr energy shot = 138 mg caff starbucks brewed coffee = 180 mg caff / 8 ozs (short -lol) starbucks expresso 1 shot = 75 mg (how wierd is that ??? I would have thought much more) 8 oz redbull = 80 mg and most sodas including mountian dew are less

Good article -- interesting reading on dopamine. I used to call ritalin 'dope' ....

Glad I didn't use up all my "likes" for today. The article seems to give an accurate portrayal of quitting as a nonlinear process.

Yes -- I got it this week, started out with 1 cap twice a day the first few days and today took 2 caps 2x/day. The small print on the bottle is so small I had to go to the website to read it -- it says not to exceed 8 a day. How many do you take??? Gives me increased energy and a tad of appetite suppression... without the crash and without the speedy feeling.

SearchingSoul -- I love that you came back. I'm not glad you relapsed but reading your post is a major denial-busting experience. Just get yourself back on track! I totally get the trigger of free time because I struggle with the same problem. I've also gone back to overeaters anonymous to deal with bingeing, which always happens during free time, because I feel so inept at time management and get completely overwhlemed. I just started reading "Understand Your Brain, Get More Done" by Ari Tuckman. (workbook - lol) Maybe at OA you can get some recs for a decent therapist. Edit -- I also want to add that I went off ritalin for almost a year a while back, and my tolerance INCREASED! Once you've crossed the line you're never safe...

I'm pretty sure it was mentioned on here -- pathetic add brain does not remember where ...

Let this forum be your confidence -- you are a dynamo -- sending positive vibes !!!

Cat - of course this is something you must discuss with your doctor but since rehab for vicodin - I have been on trazadone for sleep and it works like a charm. Knocks me out in 30 minutes or less. It was originally marketed as an antidepressant so it does have antidepressant qualities. Prior to rehab I took benzos for sleep for years - same dose every night - but had to come off of them very slowly and with some other antiseizure drug for the first 2 weeks. If you can talk to your doctor about addiction concerns, see if this is an option. You could probably get this, or something like it from your primary.

Hey MFA -- You need to get into the habit of getting your confidence elsewhere ... from deep down inside, or by literally walking in the park and faking it til you make it (people talk to themselves in parks all the time.) Easier said than done and clearly one of your biggest challenges since quitting adderall. Since quitting you have made up your mind to get thru the day-to-day without using no matter what. Adderall is not even an option and can't be an option for this either. It just can't. You will get your confidence back but you don't know this yet since this is uncharted territory. Go over a few more youtube videos and go to bed. A good night's sleep will help you more than any amount of preparation that compromises your sleep. I know on this site you are a force to be reckoned with and such an inspiration! You can get thru this and no matter how it goes tomorrow -- you will know you got thru it without adderall. I know you know there are way too many factors completely out of your control. Getting the job is important but it's more important to get thru this process without adderall which will build your confidence more than anything. xoxo and thinking of you tomorrow.

8 Min Abs -- even I can do this -- LOVE IT!

SearchingSoul you sound great! You've inspired me to start exercising (besides walking lol) -- it's been a month so I'm sure I can handle it. I feel good about quitting but starting to feel like I need more, and exercise will definitely do that.

I'm inspired!

I love this site and I've read so many before I found this one. Yes some have cool avatars and interesting functions but I like this one for it's simplicity - which to me communicates purity of message... The message is consistent and as a recovering addict that's about all I can handle! Many of the other sites in the parallel universe are entertaining while flyin high and great means of procrastination ... this one has actually helped me AND made me want to help others. Meetings are great but no drug resonates with me as much as this one.

Wow that's great! Good job by you and what a gorgeous sunset! Sparkle on ...

IN !

HOLLA - me too with the weight gain. I only gained 5 lbs in the past month so that's somewhat encouraging...

Hi Jessica -- Welcome! I can totally relate to the many hellish aspects of amphetamine addiction that you describe so well -- and the shadow too. LIL TEX's smileys say it all. I flushed my pills a month ago and am here to tell you it does get better. I try to keep in mind the overall sense of mental and physical wellbeing I feel off pills. It's not exactly euphoric but so much better than being trapped in the mental wasteland that used to be my life. It's hard to overcome lazyness, procrastination and overeating but I know that when I make an effort these things get better. In the past it was more like fake optimism that I'd take a pill and it would get better, until it didn't. It was more like 5 minutes followed by the worst feeling ever. Take it one minute at a time and read this site for inspiration - you can do this !!!!!

That plein sud place looks delicious!

You can totally overcome this! Practice in front of the mirror -- or via webcam while sitting in the comfort of your favorite piece of furniture. You will be relaxed (probably more so than in front of the mirror) and you've made a new association between comfort and the speech... comfort and the speech... comfort and the speech... edit -- I mean the camera on your computer... not on the web ... is that called a webcam???