• Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by LILTEX41


    Anyone watching this today? "Academic Doping" on the rise. Growing number of college students abusing ADHD drugs.
  2. I did it!

    That's awesome!! So happy for you! Hopefully, that will make things a lot easier than previously.
  3. How's it going Dopeymean??
  4. That's exciting it's not wicked expensive! I thought for sure it would be. Well, I will definitely recommend it to anyone I know of looking for another alternative and possibly myself if ever needed. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. It's so great to have yet another option as you said!
  5. That really is absolutely incredible and awesome. Is the medication expensive? I’m already 23 days sober though so probably wouldn’t get it now. But if I drink again would definitely consider it.
  6. So when you go out now to socialize with other friends who are drinking do you still have a drink or two? And if you decide to not drink at all do you feel comfortable going out and being the only one not drinking because you no longer want it?
  7. Nicole, Thank you so much for all the great info! So I was wondering mentioned the goal of the Sinclair Method as being abstinence, but how does that work if the reason you wanted to drink again was for social reasons? Is abstinence your ultimate goal and if so do you feel comfortable going out now because you no longer want it? Or are you just going to carry on taking the pills for as long as needed?
  8. Long timer checking in.

    Awesome! So glad you're back and doing amazing.
  9. That sounds amazing but so scary at the same time. When you drank before did it make you want Adderall? So the pill just kills off the high? Would it be comparable to having a non-alcoholic beer? How long has the medication been around and does it cause any side effects?
  10. Two Years!

    I think your post is going to help inspire so many people! And I love love love that you persevered through the hard times and look at you now! Even though I might've drifted backwards in my recovery in the past year or so it is still heart warming to see people recover on this site and know that everyone here had an integral part of your success. I think of where I should and could be now had I not have slid backwards, but what I always tell myself no matter what happens and my advice to anyone with addiction is just never ever give up. Fall off, get right back on track. And even though it's a hit to the ego to come back and admit it to everyone, at least you're back on the right path and will have a bright future again. I think what happened to me is I got caught up with too many drinking friends and got disconnected from my support groups. Peer influence is so critical. Your post has and is going to generate so much positivity on this site so I hope we can reignite it once again and get more traffic. We all have something to offer one another here and it is only by sharing our experience can we be helpful to someone else. Success stories like yours are the glue that keeps people coming back and offering them hope. I hope that by my experience, others that have taken two steps back will come forward with me and get back on track. It's never too late to pick up where you left off and live in a way that makes you proud of yourself and happy. Thank you for sharing all of your successes with us and I hope you continue to do so in the future. You're an inspiration! <3 LT
  11. Two Years!

    That is amazing!!! I remember when you first came around. Can't believe 2 years have gone by already! Way to go!!! What kind of job did you get by the way? That's a pretty remarkable salary for just getting done with college? Congratulations!
  12. Hi Nater, I cannot emphasize enough that all you need to do is keep moving forward. That's it. Stay clean and NEVER EVER even for one second contemplate that your life would be better on that crap. It takes a long time to get over this mind fk of a drug, but I am telling you if you stay the course and start getting used to your life without it, one day you will look back and forget what it was like. One day after years of being clean you will no longer think about it anymore. It'll be easy and you won't be comparing all the mundane chores and work of life to what it used to be like on adderall. It WILL GET BETTER. I have not had a prescription since November of 2010. I am almost at 8 years. I was 100% clean from this and another substance (same crap, but worse) for almost 5 years (everything including alcohol) and then I relapsed on alcohol 5 years in and started popping a pill once in a blue moon if I came across one while drinking. I then went totally sober for 18 months. Relapsed on alcohol again last year and drank 11 months straight. Was sober again 4 months and then relapsed for a month. I only popped a few pills during here and there during this relapse, but it was enough to scare me badly. I am on day 12 today of total sobriety again and extremely grateful. I cannot explain how quickly things got out of hand when I relapsed nor how badly my old neural pathways lit up for stimulants again and took over my rational state of mind. I had a recent run in with this junk again and it has scared the shit out of me. I forgot just how incredibly powerful these drugs are and what they did to me for so long. They make life so easy and then absolutely awful when they wear off. And then you are HOOKED all over again and a total freaking slave to this shit. I am here to tell you, I've been where you are and PLEASE WHATEVER YOU DO, STAY CLEAN. IT WILL KEEP GETTING EASIER. Yes, you are going to still be in a slump 1-2 years after you quit because the memory of what life was like with it is still so fresh. But I can promise you, as the years go by you will one day forget and you will learn how to function without it. NOTHING is as painful as being hooked on this crap and dealing with all the side effects and consequences of using it. Eat healthy, exercise, stay clean and keep doing positive things for yourself. Take baby steps towards productivity. And be grateful for each and every day you are clean. As far as the "will I be happy when" question you posted above...a friend of mine sent this really cool post from Richard Branson the other day and I have to share it. This one really got me thinking and has been helping me since i read it. Here you go... Dear Stranger, You don’t know me but I hear you are going through a tough time, and I would like to help you. I want to be open and honest with you, and let you know that happiness isn’t something just afforded to a special few. It can be yours, if you take the time to let it grow. It’s OK to be stressed, scared and sad, I certainly have been throughout my life. I’ve confronted my biggest fears time and time again. I’ve cheated death on many adventures, seen loved ones pass away, failed in business, minced my words in front of tough audiences, and had my heart broken. I know I’m fortunate to live an extraordinary life, and that most people would assume my business success, and the wealth that comes with it, have brought me happiness. But they haven’t; in fact it’s the reverse. I am successful, wealthy and connected because I am happy. So many people get caught up in doing what they think will make them happy but, in my opinion, this is where they fail. Happiness is not about doing, it’s about being. In order to be happy, you need to think consciously about it. Don’t forget the to-do list, but remember to write a to-be list too. Kids are often asked: ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ The world expects grandiose aspirations: ‘I want to be a writer, a doctor, the prime minister.’ They’re told: go to school, go to college, get a job, get married, and then you’ll be happy. But that’s all about doing, not being – and while doing will bring you moments of joy, it won’t necessarily reward you with lasting happiness. Stop and breathe. Be healthy. Be around your friends and family. Be there for someone, and let someone be there for you. Be bold. Just be for a minute. If you allow yourself to be in the moment, and appreciate the moment, happiness will follow. I speak from experience. We’ve built a business empire, joined conversations about the future of our planet, attended many memorable parties and met many unforgettable people. And while these things have brought me great joy, it’s the moments that I stopped just to be, rather than do, that have given me true happiness. Why? Because allowing yourself just to be, puts things into perspective. Try it. Be still. Be present. For me, it’s watching the flamingos fly across Necker Island at dusk. It’s holding my new grandchildren’s tiny hands. It’s looking up at the stars and dreaming of seeing them up close one day. It’s listening to my family’s dinner-time debates. It’s the smile on a stranger’s face, the smell of rain, the ripple of a wave, the wind across the sand. It’s the first snow fall of winter, and the last storm of summer. There’s a reason we’re called human beings and not human doings. As human beings we have the ability to think, move and communicate in a heightened way. We can cooperate, understand, reconcile and love, that’s what sets us apart from most other species. Don’t waste your human talents by stressing about nominal things, or that which you cannot change. If you take the time simply to be and appreciate the fruits of life, your stresses will begin to dissolve, and you will be happier. But don’t just seek happiness when you’re down. Happiness shouldn’t be a goal, it should be a habit. Take the focus off doing, and start being every day. Be loving, be grateful, be helpful, and be a spectator to your own thoughts. Allow yourself to be in the moment, and appreciate the moment. Take the focus off everything you think you need to do, and start being I promise you, happiness will follow. Happy regards, Richard Branson
  13. One Word Status Update

  14. One Word Status Update

    No freaking way!!! That is crazy!!! Are you getting a bike???? Congrats btw!!!
  15. One Word Status Update

    Passed..... Motorcycle test today...just learned how to ride one in the past 48 hours. OMG. Excited to get a bike! 4 months today too since quitting EVERYTHING.
  16. Congratulations!! That has to feel great!!
  17. Found an old pill and flushed it

    You did awesome!!!
  18. Hang it there, it gets much better!

    It's posts like this one that give me goose bumps. I am happy to hear you have 5 years. That is awesome!! One thing I gotta mention for the newbies or anyone still struggling on and off. One of the best ways I came to look at my clean time I got from Smart Recovery is that they don't believe you're back to ground zero if you relapse or lapse. Instead, we look at all the previous time you had sober as building blocks and none of that time is really ever lost. Addiction is such a non-linear process for so many people and sometimes it takes some of us a lot of trial and error with our use just to be sure it's no longer an option, not gonna work, and/or give up the battle for good. Maybe some are just more stubborn than others, but I do know that if you hit 5 years, your chance of relapse is like 14% going forward and that is something to get excited about. It makes me feel happy to see you are such a pillar of hope now for the newbies. We never know how many lives we impact by sharing our story on this site, but I know it makes me proud and everyone else to that has been around since your first came on board. It sure does help to have support and know we're not alone and also if we slip, we still have friends here that can help us get back up. Thank you for sharing this with us!! Congratulations!!
  19. One Word Status Update

    Anxious (triathlon today)
  20. One Word Status Update

    Thank you Justin!!
  21. One Word Status Update

    WON.... (my first ever half marathon last Sunday)!
  22. It is way easier IMO to just get sober. I've done it a few times in my life and currently at 105 days. Once you are free of all mind altering substances, the fog lifts and you become crystal clear on everything in life. It is so much easier to just avoid all of it and not have to worry about what, when, how, or if you are abusing another substance. And there are no risks! You get used to living sober 100% all of the time and get to feel everything and learn how to deal/cope with it. The thing lately that has made me so excited is keeping track of my emotions throughout the day. In the past, I used to allow myself to relapse over stressful situations or anger, resentment, sadness, etc. Now I've learned to just simply watch how quickly my feelings pass and know that whatever it is that has me worked up one minute will soon dissipate and I'll be fine again. Tonight I was in a house with a two year old and got to watch him go through the same process. One minute he was screaming and crying punching the floor and then the next minute laughing hysterically. I think the biggest part of addiction is that we quickly learned whenever something upsetting happens, it's best to get high. And then we get hooked. And getting clean is relearning how to unhook yourself and self soothe instead. Hope this helps and best wishes!!
  23. Day 6

    All, I have missed you guys. I hate to come clean, but here I am and it feels incredibly good to be back. I resumed drinking again 11 months ago and that was not a good idea. I never went back on adderall full time thank God, but I did have some run ends with it here and there. Anyhow, I know I am back to being clean and sober for good this time. I have zero doubt in my mind that I'll fall off again. I just want to tell you if you ever think that it's worth it to go back to your addiction for any reason, it's not. It will always achieve the same outcome - misery & pain. It's a great way to self destruct everything you love and care about along with your self respect. I haven't felt this great in months. I am loving being sober again and so excited to be back on this journey of health, fitness, and happiness. All the pills, drugs, and alcohol cannot fill that void within and will only make it worse. I'm just grateful to know what awaits me on the path of recovery and stoked to embark on this path again. Much love you to you all and GODSPEED my friends. <3 LT