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BeHereNow

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Everything posted by BeHereNow

  1. This is so true. People with severe addictions can and will lie, hide things, keep secrets, steal, manipulate, act irrationally, and be abusive cruel and mean to people who love them. She's not being her real self right now. Part of it is the effects of the drug, part of it is drug seeking behavior, part of it is narcissism and codependency, and part of it, I just can't understand. It's unfortunately very common. But know, again, it's not about you if they're being influenced at all by the drug. I hope your wife gets the help she needs so she can be her real self again-- for her, and for the kids. Codependency: chronic lack of self-care (saw that definition on a tv show once) You mentioned codependency in your title. It seems to go hand in hand with addiction. What is behind your wife's drug addiction? Your wife needs to explore this issue as part of a larger set of issues. Until she gets to the bottom of why she takes the stuff, she'll never be able to stop. She needs real help. I hope she figures it all out. You can't control her actions, but you can control your responses. Just keep being the strong, stable, positive, amazing dad you are. Your kids are going to need you more than ever. They are probably going to have to watch their mom hit rock bottom soon.
  2. Greg it is OKAY to be crappy at work!!!! In fact, let's make this a challenge. I challenge you to suck as much as you possibly can!!! You and I have similar perfectionist tendencies and anxieties, and a similar mantra to help us get rid of our perfectionist tendencies. You say, "It's OK to completely suck at work." I say, "Make it crappy! Really, really crappy!" When I have a deadline, I even turn it into a game. How crappy can I go?! LOLOL. OK so if you make it a game to 'suck' as much as you possibly can, then I'll make it a game to crank out the crappiest writing possible before my deadline today. Deal? But the point is, neither of us literally suck or produce crappy work. We are both extremely high quality people, and all our work is high quality-- we just don't see it as such. We have high standards for ourselves with demanding jobs. We are also recovering adderallics who continually want to learn, grow, meet new people, and push ourselves beyond our limits. Adderall temporarily gave us the ability to work longer, harder, more focused.... so of course our brains are going to remember that shortcut when we are confronted with these huge challenges that make us want to do better than we ever thought possible. That's why a vigilance posting like this is SO CRUCIAL. I love that you did this. By the way, the only time when you actually sucked at work was when you were tweaking out on adderall. And the only time my work was actually crappy was when I was on adderall. Both times, we thought we were flying high...... but from the outside, we were tweaked out, self-important weirdos who were unable to network with new people. And yes.... sleep trumps everything else! Okay, I'm going to spend the next 2 hours making this proposal as crappy as I possibly can!!! Thanks for the motivation my friend and let us know how your sucky day went!!! :)
  3. Hey Dad of 3, I am so sorry you're going through this. I can only imagine how hard it is. Good for you for taking these steps towards a better future for yourself, your kids, and your soon to be ex wife. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but as a former/recovering adderallic, it sounds to me like her future will continue getting worse until she hits "rock bottom." Unless someone decides to do an intervention, which might not even work esp if her family won't help. When people are that badly addicted, it takes nothing short of a major crisis to get them to stop. This might be a concern when you get divorced. Will you be comfortable leaving the kids with her when she has visitation time? From what you've described, and the # of pills she's using, it sounds like she is on adderall all the time. Unless she has major periods where she seems very low energy, can't get out of bed, eats a lot, etc. (classic withdrawals), then she is probably on it all the time. Once you build up a tolerance, some people can even eat and sleep on adderall. Your brain re-adjusts to it so that you can function as closely as possible to normal......... which is why when she eventually quits, it's gonna be brutal for her. It's important to support not just her, but yourself too. This is a lot for anyone to go through. Have you looked into Al Anon? It's basically a support group for friends and spouses of drug/alcohol addicts. They seem to be very resourceful. They have a saying: "You didn't cause it, you can't cure it, and you can't control it." Your wife might try to blame you for her xanax addiction or any number of other things, but ultimately that's her addiction talking. She is 100% responsible. Another piece of wisdom I picked up from Al Anon. Anything that a drug/alcohol addicted person does while under the influence of the drug-- and this includes withdrawal symptoms (which after all are still the influence of drugs)-- is NOT personal and is NOT about you. I'm so glad you posted here. It will help you a lot with helping this specific monster of a drug. But here's a link to an extra resource that might help-- another forum for friends and family of drug addicts. I used to spend a lot of time on this forum (the friends and family of alcoholics version) because I was in a very abusive relationship with an alcoholic. Hearing others' stories, and seeing the common patterns, was a huge wake-up call for me. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-substance-abusers/ Please know that we are here for you. And if your wife chooses to quit, we are here for her too. Maybe show her the site? Good luck with everything!
  4. Ugh, I know exactly what you mean. My adderall source was my codependent ex but it was the same power dynamic..... I'm sure you can imagine the power abuse that that door opened up...... I hate seeing doctors and when I'm sick I usually just deal with it, but I always go to my psych dr. appts for my klonopin. And it's starting to sound like he might want to stop prescribing it. I don't abuse it, I just have such horrible anxiety it's the only thing that helps. This gives him a crazy amount of power over me. Just remember, we pay their salaries.....
  5. I keep thinking about this question. I just spent most of this summer packing up my mom's stuff (and she passed unexpectedly, so she didn't have a chance to do this for herself.) One thing we found was medications for a medical condition she never told us she had. That was very upsetting because maybe we could have helped her out more, or maybe we could have done something, if she hadn't been trying to hide the extent of her health problems. In the same vein, if you are addicted to anything, that's also a health problem. I can say from experience that your loved ones would be deeply upset to find out that you aren't reaching out for help. They would also be hurt by the fact that you had been suffering in silence, that you didn't let them in close enough to share your pain and struggles as well as your triumphs. Another thing we had to pack up was some unfinished projects. I keep thinking about what people would find if I died today, and they would find a lot of unfinished projects. I had way more trouble finishing things on adderall. People would have found a LOT of unfinished scraps. But I still have trouble finishing projects. I don't want to be this way. I want my loved ones to find beautiful things. That's why even though I'm still struggling with motivation and self-confidence, I have to just keep working and being creative every day, no matter how unmotivated I am. Our time is too short not to make the most of it.
  6. Hey carock, I don't think I have but does this only happen when you're in recovery? If so, it might just be related to your brain re-adjusting to actual sleep. I have heard this is extremely scary and painful. Maybe check w/ your dr?
  7. Hey Froggin, how's it going? Congrats on quitting. You CAN do this!!! I'm not a mom but when I'm really busy I like to make my healthy foods in bulk in advance. Then you have containers full of healthy foods and snacks to just grab and heat up (or grab from your bag.) Diet has a pretty huge effect on recovery. Dopamine comes from food, not adderall.
  8. I was horrified to read this headline yesterday: "The World's First Safe Smart Drug" http://www.theguardian.com/science/2015/aug/20/narcolepsy-medication-modafinil-worlds-first-safe-smart-drug The article immediately also goes to say that long-term testing hasn't been done, and they have no idea if it's safe for more than a couple weeks. It also says that "already creative people" tend to lose their on the drug. Duh, everyone is creative, and creativity is possibly the most important aspect of knowledge.... So it sounds like this is the plan. Bypass ethical approval for long term testing, release it to the general population, advertise it as a "smart drug," and let the people who get hooked be the lab rats. Sounds EXACTLY like what Shire did in the 90's and early 2000's. And now we on this site are probably the ones who can tell you most about long term effects of adderall.
  9. Good question. When I was at my adderall peak they would have found all kinds of prescription bottles, a few of the empty ones with the blue residue for a rainy day, empty capsules of XR's, full capsules of XR's, the perpetually almost-empty bottles I kept on my person 24/7. Plus they would have found the old package wrappings from when I had the prescriptions illegally mailed to me. And they would have been horrified I was taking that kind of risk. Also a massive bottle of xanax, a kitchen with no food and just a bunch of empty beer bottles, an apartment filled with clutter, and a bunch of incomprehensible scribble that I believed was profound and important writing. I also probably would have been found in a pool of my own tears, I was so depressed.......
  10. "If you borrowed my brain, you'd be like dude, can't handle it."
  11. PS the insomnia is also normal, and will also pass. Give it time For me, a Klonopin prescription did the trick after sleeping 4 hrs/night for 3 months. Its long acting so I finally was up to 7-8 and the racing mind calmed down. But you risk getting hooked if you take that route. Working out helps a lot too. With sleep, confidence, everything! When you're ready Keep pushing forward!
  12. Hey Bee, Congrats on day 11!! I think we can all relate to that too! The best advice I can give you is to just let it go and know this phase of lower productivity is totally normal. It will pass. So don't spin your wheels over it. Instead, think of it as being sick. You need to rest to get better. So you have an excuse to slack off right now! Might as well enjoy it You WILL be more productive at work eventually, probably more than you were on adderall.
  13. Do you feel like it helps you with focus and productivity?
  14. Couldn't agree with you more. The fact that so many people take this drug, and give it to children, so readily, like it's candy, terrifies me. What kind of future are we creating? Nobody has finished researching this narcotic. Long-term testing isn't even done. Children who were prescribed adderall when it first came out are just now coming of age. The pharmaceutical companies are still revising their black box warnings. The "experts" in their white lab coats aren't done, and we here on this site aren't done. The dialogues we have on this forum offer insights about this narcotic, and what it means to quit, that cannot be found in any doctor's office, or on any medication warning package. And that fact alone scares me. An internet forum is the only real resource out there for quitting this specific highly addictive, life-destroying, personality-changing, and potentially deadly drug. To me this indicates that nobody, not even the so-called "experts," has any idea what's going on.
  15. Hey Carock, thank you for sharing. I'm not a religious person but lately in my addiction journey I have been thinking more about spirituality. I think that for many people, though not everyone, spirituality can be very important to recovery. I learned recently that Carl Jung, the famous psychologist, was actually involved in work on addiction and recovery through his correspondence with the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) (A.A. has a 12-step program that emphasizes overcoming addiction through, in part, recognizing our own individual powerless over a particular substance, and instead connecting with a "higher power.") (For full disclosure, I am not in A.A. and I am not trying to push their model or any other. But I do think that as an organization that works on addiction, they have some insights, and spirituality is one that I had always written off until I started looking more into the reasoning behind it. And although this is about alcoholism, in many ways, all addictions share a similar structure, and what is true about one substance addiction is true of others as well. Personally I think this is equally true of adderall--if not even more true.) The basic idea is that addictions function as a replacement for spiritual or religious connection of some sort. It doesn't have to follow a specific religious model. Addictions and the highs they produce stand in for spiritual experiences, the diverse spiritual "highs" and "ecstasies" that people of all kinds of backgrounds around the world experience. There's a famous letter between Jung and the founder of A.A. where Jung writes about addiction as fulfilling a kind of need for spiritual connection. After working with a serious alcoholic, Jung had concluded that without a spiritual connection of some sort, this person would be unable to overcome his addiction: "His craving for alcohol was the equivalent on a low level of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness..... You see, the Latin word for alcohol is "spiritus" and you use the same word for highest religious experience as well as for the most depraving poison. The helpful formula therefore is: Spiritus contra spiritum." http://www.barefootsworld.net/jungletter.html
  16. Me too AlwaysAwesome. Maybe we should all start to be more balanced. Although it's hard because I don't wanna scare anyone away from quitting. Glad you had a good vacation!
  17. It will. But I like your attitude. Screw it either way. Anything is better than adderall hell!
  18. Healthy fruits and veggies, healthy fats and proteins, not too many carbs and I really try to avoid sugar. With the occasional pint of ice cream Greg! Does Chipotle's REALLY count as healthy?!?! LOLOL
  19. Thanks for checking in Greg! I didn't relapse! ......Though I know I am always only one pill away from it. That's the big-picture lesson I learned from all my relapses.... never, ever, EVER believe that voice telling you that you can have just one. Every time, that's the voice that got me into trouble. So I saw that article and it got me thinking about how many people come to the boards here all motivated and ready to quit, then disappear..... I think maybe people need more resources on relapse and how addiction works? That's what helps me get through.
  20. "Here are some of the standard lines that base brain, acting as the Addiction Monster, will use to try to get you to use drugs or smoke or drink: To avoid quitting, Lizard brain argues: Frankly, I'm not ready to quit just now. [That was Bill Wilson's excuse for never quitting smoking.] I'm under too much stress to quit right now. I can't quit now — that binge last night wasn't nearly good enough to be my real final last time ever. My last time has to be really grand. That can't be the last time. I mean, that drunk wasn't big and grand enough to be the very last time. I need my last time to be something spectacular. I'll quit later when things are easier, and there isn't so much stress in my life. My drinking isn't really that bad; I don't need to quit. I don't have to really quit; maybe just cut down a little. I don't have to really quit; I just need to reduce the pain a little. Eliminate a few hassles. Simplify. Rearrange my life and make things a little better. Get rid of a few problems. I am entitled to live however I choose. Who are you to criticize how I live? If I quit smoking, I will gain weight. If I quit smoking, I won't have anything to do with my hands. Quitting is too much bother. I've smoked for 30 years, and it hasn't killed me yet. My father smoked until he was 80. That stuff about cigarettes and lung cancer hasn't really been proven. The tests were flawed. Maybe lung cancer or cirrhosis of the liver might get me, but I'm not going to worry about it. I won't let fear ruin my life. Smoking causes me to always have a lighter in my pocket. If I ever need to build a campfire to save my life, I'll have a lighter handy. If I quit drinking, all of the fun will be gone out of my life. If I quit drinking, I won't enjoy any more great parties. If I quit drinking, my drinking buddies will abandon me. If I quit drinking, there won't be any more fun Saturdays at the sports bar, downing pitchers with my buddies and cheering for our team. If I quit drinking, life won't even be worth living. Everybody deserves to be able to relax once in a while. Doesn't everybody tie one on now and then? I suffer from mental illness, so I am entitled to get stoned. I don't have to quit. Things aren't that bad. You have no idea how much pressure I'm under. I need to unwind after a hard day on the job. I have to go out drinking with my clients. Smoozing is a critical part of the job. I'd go broke if I stopped taking them out and getting them loosened up. Since I'm gonna quit tomorrow, I'm gonna get really loaded tonight. (Thanks, Thor.) I just don't have the willpower to quit and stay quit, so there is no sense in trying. I'll just fail again. Oh heck, I've got to keep something. Since I so nobly gave up alcohol (or drugs), I deserve to keep on smoking. I quit smoking, so I'm entitled to drink. I quit drinking, so I'm entitled to smoke. [Bill Wilson used that excuse for not quitting smoking, too.] Anybody can quit smoking, but it takes a real man to die of lung cancer. I quit smoking, so now I'm entitled to take a few tranquilizers or pain pills. It would be more stress on my body to quit than to continue doing it. [Thanks for that one and the next, Jeff.] I'm living proof that you don't need to quit. But sooner or later, reality intrudes on your life and forces you to quit. And then, after you have quit, Lizard brain argues that just a little drinking or smoking or drugging will be okay after all: It's been so long since I've had one, I have it under control now. I can do just one; it will be okay. It's time to return to normalcy, and be just like everybody else. Translation: Go back to drinking just like everybody else. ("I shouldn't have to abstain when they don't.") I just want one relaxing evening, just like in the good old days. I can do just a little bit, it won't hurt anything, and it will feel great. Let's just have one for old times' sake. Ah, for the good old days, when we could just kick back, and put our feet up, and do whatever we wanted to do. Ah yes, for the good old days, when we were young and wild and crazy, and didn't give a damn. Ah yes, the good old days, back before we started this insane routine of self-denial that they are calling recovery. Screw those people who are trying to keep us from having fun. Who are they to try to run our lives, anyway? We deserve to have a good time. We've worked so hard for so long, and put up with so much suffering and hardship, we richly deserve some of life's little pleasures right now. The other guys might think there is something weird about me if I don't have one with them. I should have a drink with these people. If I refuse to drink, and tell them that I'm an alcoholic, they will all think that I'm weird. I can't hang out with these guys without also having some, too. I can't just watch those guys drinking and doping without having some too. I must have one, now! Even if it does cause a little damage, I've been off of the stuff for so long that I can afford a little damage now. I can do a few now without getting readdicted. It will never again have a hold over me like it used to. Aren't you tired of torturing yourself? Why do you persist in denying yourself life's little pleasures? Why do you persist in putting yourself through all of this pain and all of these cravings? You know you will relapse sooner or later anyway, so why not make it right now, so you can feel good right now? I can do just a little, and no one will ever know, and it will be okay. I could go across the river, over to the other side of town, where no one knows me, and get drunk over there, and nobody over here would ever know. Oh, I don't really have to totally quit. I can just cut down a little bit. Just keep it down to a dull roar. I'll only drink on weekends. Or I'll only have two a night. Or only three a night. Or only four a night. Or I'll only drink stuff that I don't like. Aren't we really overdoing it just a bit here, with this whole total abstinence thing? I mean, it isn't like just one or two will kill us. I can't really loosen up and have a good time without a little bit of something... It's just so unfair that other people can have a good time, and I can't. So I'm going to make things fair. I'm so tired of all of this, of fighting this battle. I just want to rest, and relax, for a while. It's all so depressing. I don't even feel like life is worth living. Might as well just get stoned and forget the whole thing.2 I shouldn't be having these cravings. I shouldn't have to suffer from cravings like this. So let's put a stop to them, right now. Fuck it! Just fuck it! I just want to get high! Oh well, some experts say that relapsing is a normal part of recovery. I hear that lots of people relapse half a dozen times before they really quit forever. So I still have five relapses to go. It'll be okay... I feel so stressed out right now, I just need a little hit of something to get me on an even keel. Ah, for just one grand blow-out, just for tonight... I just wanna get totally righteously ripped, just one more time. I just want one more big party, like in the good old days. I just want a vacation from my pain. I don't want to insult this guy by not drinking with him. If I only drink with him, then it will be okay. I can't get readdicted that way. This evening is so boring, might as well have a beer. We've been doing so good for so long, totally abstaining without any cheating whatsoever, it's time to celebrate. We've got it under control now. I don't have any cravings any more. I don't even think about drinking any more. That's why it's okay to have one, right now. Okay, we've succeeded. We've got a year of sobriety. We don't have anything left to prove to anybody. Might as well relax and have one now. [That one literally just popped up out of the old Lizard Brain while I was traveling to an A.A. meeting to pick up my one-year sobriety coin.] Workers of the world, unite! It's Miller Time! Have a drink just to spite those A.A. assholes and show that you can do it. God! Would a cigarette feel good right now! God! Would a tall cold one feel good right now! All that talk about the bad things that will happen if we relapse is long-term stuff. It isn't relevant for the short term, so we can indulge just for tonight and it will be okay. Maybe if I went down to Mexico... I could vacation and drink down there, and it wouldn't have anything to do with what happens up here... This occasion is special. It's okay to drink this one special time. Pass that champagne over here, please. [if drinking is okay because it's a "special occasion", then suddenly there sure are a lot of special occasions to celebrate. Eventually every day is a holiday.] I'm in a lot of pain. A little to take the edge off of the pain will be okay... Don't think! Just grab the drink! Why Ask Why? I wanna be free. I wanna get away from here and get to a place where nobody is telling me what to do any more. I just wanna get to a place where I can do whatever I wanna to do. [Real meaning: do whatever the Lizard Brain wants to do.] Now that I'm retired, I don't have to do what anybody else says. I don't have to care what anybody else thinks. I can drink all I want. Things aren't really as bad as the doctor was saying. I know he was exaggerating, just trying to scare me into quitting, that's all... But it's free! How can you resist when it's free? Slips are okay. A little slipping won't hurt. It'll be fun. If everybody else is slipping and lapsing, then why shouldn't we? Look at those people. They seem to be able to drink and smoke all of the time, and it isn't killing them. So I should be able to do that too... Just Christmas and New Year's. If I only drink at Christmas and New Year's, then I can't get into trouble with that. That'll be okay. Season's Greetings! Heck, we're all going to die eventually. In the end, all you'll have to look back on is how much fun you had, or didn't have because you missed out on all of it. So let's have some fun and go out in a blaze of glory. It's Friday night (or Saturday night), and look at all of those pretty girls out on the street, looking for a party and love in all of the wrong places (and in all of the right places too). If I went and partied with them, I could get laid. Heck, your parents messed you up so bad emotionally that you'll never be right, so there isn't much you can do except get stoned. Oh I'm in so much stress right now that I can't stand it. I just need a cigarette and a beer to calm me down. We can do it (party and get high for one night) because we are strong and smart and we can handle it. I know, I'll be a wandering Zen monk, a free spirit, detached from it all, free to do anything. I'll be above and beyond the problem. The system is rigged against us. The rich write the rules so that they stay rich and we stay poor. So all we can do is enjoy life however we can. Oh heck, it's Friday. You only live once... I just want one last big blow-out party, just for the fun of it. [That one popped up 3 years after quitting drinking. The obvious answer to that is, "We already had that last party a long time ago..."] I need a little inspiration. This is a big, important job, and I need to come up with a creative, original concept. So I need a little liquid inspiration to help get the creative juices flowing. It's a tool, after all... [That also smacks of "I am entitled to drink because I have so much responsibility resting on my shoulders."] All of this obsession with "your sobriety", and your being clean and sober, is just selfishness. You are just concerned about yourself. If you were really selfless, you would go down to the bar and have one with the boys to cheer them up. Life has passed me by, so there is no point in not having a good time now. I've got no future. I've got nothing left to lose. I just suffered a big loss, so I'm entitled to have a drink. I just had a huge win, so I'm entitled to have a drink. My team lost, so I'm entitled to have a drink and drown my sorrows. My team won, so I'm entitled to celebrate. Heck, we're in Las Vegas. What happens here, stays here. We're in New Orleans. It's Mardis Gras. You don't imagine that it's appropriate to stay sober all this week, now do you? Oh well, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. Don't you want to come home, to the good times again? It's my birthday, so I'm entitled to celebrate. Oh heck, we deserve to relax once in a while... The best times were when we were smoking and drinking. We should go back there again. The best writing was while you were smoking. I never took that drug much. I was never into that drug, and I never had a problem with that drug, so it's okay if I take that drug now. You smoked and drank when you were young, so you can return to your youth by smoking and drinking again. Time to come home... Okay, so I'm an alcoholic. So what? Might as well have a good time anyway. It was easy to quit. So I can mess around a little, and have a few now and then, and it will be okay. Even if I do get readdicted, I can just easily quit again.4) (Warning: no you can't. Each relapse drains energy out of you, and quitting the second time is several times harder than the first.) A Working Class Hero: Heck, I'll just be one of the regular guys. I don't have it in me to be one of those puritanical goody-two-shoes who never drink or smoke or indulge in life's little pleasures. It won't be a perfect life, but it will be mine. I just have to get a job and a room, and get my scene together, then I can drink all I want, and nobody can stop me... Never again even just one happy drunken party? Totally sober for the rest of my life? That's too much to ask of anyone. Surely we can have a little fun now and then... You know, I just can't be happy without smoking a cigarette now and then... Remember how happy we were back when... The doctor wasn't REALLY saying that you should quit drinking or you would die. Maybe he was just sort of saying it. Maybe it's just an expression. I'll bet he says that to everybody, just to get them riled up. My friend Joe just went back to drinking, so I'm entitled to have at least one with him. After all, I'm still way ahead of him. I should be comfortable and relaxed all of the time, and I'm not, so I'm going to fix things. Oh heck, you know you don't have the power to really stay sober for years, so why bother trying? I need this. I really need this, because I'm so stressed out right now. I'm not going to officially start smoking again — I just want to smoke one right now. Oh heck, I'll just smoke one pack and then quit again. I'll just relax and get high and enjoy tonight, and then quit again tomorrow. It's the end of the world. We're all going to die. Might as well have one now. "You have to feed the good dog, and the bad dog," (Thanks for that one, Amy.) Life is pointless, just a tale told by an idiot, much lightning and thunder signifying nothing, so we might as well get drunk and have a good time. ...And on, and on, and on... Your base brain may well come up with some new ones that I haven't heard of... But if you hold out, then the Addictive Voice really will tire, and run down, like a noisy wind-up alarm clock eventually running down. Eventually. The longer you resist, the easier it gets. " http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-addmonst.html Anything to add to this list, adderallics? What lines has your lizard brain tried to feed you?
  21. Is it possible to add a question mark to the title of this thread? I wanted to pose this as a question to get some conversation going
  22. Since relapse is so common in recovery, I think it might help for us to start discussing how to handle a relapse. The aftermath of a relapse is crucial to whether a person gets back on track or falls off the wagon. For people who have relapsed, on adderall or something else, what did you do the next day (and week, and month, etc.) to get and stay back on track? Here's a list of tips I found: http://www.sobernation.com/what-to-do-after-a-relapse/ Other ideas?
  23. Been doing some reading about the "lizard brain," also known as the amygdala, the very "primitive" or "reptilian" part of the human brain responsible for coordinating bodily responses, fight or flight, pleasure/reward responses, etc. It's a major player in addictions of all kinds. "Everything that a dumb animal needs to survive for millions of years is found in the base brain; ask any frog, turtle, or lizard. Base brains can handle the five basic F's: Feed, Fuck, Fight or Flee, and Feel Good. (Feel good and avoid feeling bad, especially including avoid getting eaten by a big toothy predator, which really feels bad.) But we great apes have grown huge higher parts of the brain, and we have the ability to think in other channels. And sometimes, what the higher brain thinks is the opposite of what the lower brain thinks. We can logically conclude that we will get greater long-term happiness if we refrain, at least for right now, from pregnancy, or overeating, or intoxication, or drug consumption, while base brain thinks just the opposite, "Do it right now." Base brain doesn't understand "tomorrow" very well. Base brain has always demanded instant gratification. "Food now! Sex now! Feel good now!" Base brain is totally incapable of logically thinking about the long-term consequences of drinking, smoking, and drugging. Base brain can't do that any more than the toad or frog in your back yard can solve math problems." -http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-addmonst.html Here are more resources on how the "lizard brain" operates in everyday human behavior: "How many times have we done something that we said we would not do, eaten something that we said we would not eat, and said something that we said we would not say? We all know that it is a very extensive list and it happens every day." -https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/where-addiction-meets-your-brain/201404/your-lizard-brain The following article discusses how the "lizard brain" doesn't like to be laughed at, and this is why it's a huge cause of anxiety. It also prevents people from getting creative work done. Food for thought: http://blogs.psychcentral.com/creative-mind/2011/04/the-lizard-brain-and-the-resistance/ Here's one about "petting the lizard" as a technique for overcoming anxiety and living the life we really want: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-wise-brain/201109/pet-the-lizard
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