BeHereNow

Dude.... Wtf?! The fact that he thinks he knows exactly what med you need at the first meeting is a red flag right there. Meds require a lot of trial and error because everyone is different with side effects and dosage. He can't know for sure what med will work for you right away. That's why they do follow ups. Second, the fact that he's not listening to what you're saying about ADHD, depression, etc is a huge problem. You deserve a dr who listens to what you say as Justin said. They are rare but they exist. The reason he couldn't give you any straight answers IMHO is because he doesn't have any. He doesn't know if adderall causes permanent brain damage. Nobody does. There's a reason those initial appointments are consultations. This person sounds very unsupportive and depakote sounds kinda scary. Time to consult with someone else?

Hey SearchingSoul! Congrats on 9 months!!! I'm so proud of you for making it this far girl!! We went through all those horrific early days together and didn't think we could do it-- and now look at us, all clean and not even wanting adderall. YES! Exactly. Life has its ups and downs and it's rough. And work sucks. And that's just how it goes. Glad to see you're still out there and adderall free.... thanks for the update girl! xoxo

Al welcome to the boards and a new life!!! You are so right. That life is not worth it!!! You will find so much support on here and many others on here who have been through the same hellacious cycle you are describing, and who finally found their way out of it for good. There is hope, and a better life on the other side!! Congratulations on making the choice to quit for good-- and for quitting before you spend too many years in adderall hell. The sooner you get out, the easier it will be for you to recover. Do you have a plan to quit? Are you going to tell your dr not to prescribe you any more?

"The hard-drinker who keeps thinking of not drinking is doing what he can to initiate the acts which lead to drinking. He is starting with the stimulus to his habit. To succeed he must find some positive interest or line of action which will inhibit the drinking series and which by instituting another course of action will bring him to his desired end. In short, the man's true aim is to discover some course of action, having nothing to do with the habit of drink which will take him where he wants to go." John Dewey I just discovered this quote, and I think it's so right. If we're trying to quit something, and we spend our time dwelling on that thing, we're staying in the addiction cycle and we're more likely to give in to it. If we want to stop a bad habit, we have to fill our lives with good things and activities and people that have nothing to do with that bad habit, and that distract us and that make our lives so full that eventually it would be absurd to consider returning to that habit. Instead of approaching quitting anything as a loss or subtraction, I want to try to think about it in terms of what new things can be gained, what new directions and possibilities open up. What good new things can I fill my life with, what do I need, what could I add that would be positive and beneficial and FUN? So, right now I'm focusing on abstaining from alcohol, which is also helping with my adderall-related quitting issues. But rather than think of it in terms of what I CANT have or do, I want to fill my life with exciting things I GET TO DO. With adderall, it might be harder, though everyone is different. Does anyone use this technique? It might be more of an "advanced" quitting approach--at least, in the beginning few months, I know I was pretty obsessed with the pills. Healthy foods, supplements, and vitamins Moving my body Generally being healthy Reading books -- and finishing them!!! Decluttering, keeping my space clean and aesthetically pleasing Spending time with good friends (especially sober) Planning to: Take a painting class Start doing yoga Probably a lot of things I'm forgetting right now Anything else to add to this list? I'll probably keep adding. I think this is important.

Guys, I'm not sure about fast food but you can pretty much eat whatever you want as long as you a) make raw fruits and veggies, and healthy lean proteins, the base of your food pyramid--if you fill up on them you kill the sweets cravings, STOP eating as soon as you feel full, and c) work out! I'm serious. It's pretty easy! I've struggled with my weight for most of my life, and I used to overeat for comfort and obsess about diet and body image and all that crap. My maximum weight was 165 at that office job. Which is overweight for my height at 5'7". These techniques got me down to 150 (my lifetime baseline) within about a year. Adderall and alcohol brought me back up to 155/160 when I was sedentary. And now thanks to our running club plus healthy eating and cutting out the booze, I'm currently down to 134ish and stable. I'm not trying to brag at all, I'm just trying to share what finally worked for me after like 15 years of struggling. I've been eating a lot of ice cream and crap this summer too, but I keep the healthy stuff as the base and it works. 7 minutes of planks and a 4.5 mile run in the woods to start off my day/week

Well friends, I ran almost 11 miles last week and I walked/hiked around 9. Did planks one day and push ups two other days. I also spent a lot of time hooping and dancing which is a great workout. And stretching. Sorry to hear you guys are having trouble getting the miles in. It's really hard with a full time day job. I have definitely been there myself. During one phase, I quit working out and hit my personal maximum weight of all time. During another, I started running and stuff at night. I didn't even think about it, I just went. Now I'm privileged to have a job where I make my own schedule. Even if it's an extra challenge for an adderall quitter like myself...... procrastination in the form of fitness is pretty awesome.

Hahahahaha ZK You had me laughing out loud on this one too!!! When I quit smoking cigs, I carried around a huge bag of candy. I think I bought a muumuu and definitely a larger size jeans. Oh well, your quit is what matters most right? Sometimes push-ups are good for fighting cravings.

OK this past week included: 5 mile run 10 mile bike ride (first one of the season) 3ish mile hike uphill and back 15 minutes of planks I'm pretty satisfied with that

Me too Ashley. :/

I did 10 miles of running and 5 miles of hiking. It felt good to hike. It helped me remember that it's really just as hard as running, it just uses different muscles. Also a great way of spending outside. InRecovery good job! SweetCarolinee I need to take another drinking break too. I keep struggling with it because it's always around. But not drinking is sooo worthwhile.

Congrats on getting through this and persevering! It's a whole new set of focusing strategies we have to build up, and it's not easy. But I think it IS doable. The only thing that really has helped me in this shit-show of quitting during school is giving myself extra time. Lots and lots of time for each concept. Because everything takes foreverrrrr. On the plus side, it's getting faster I think.

Hi Mackinzee, Thanks for sharing your story and welcome to a new and happier life! Congratulations on one month clean! I can hear it in your writing that you're going to make it for the long run. I really hope I'm right. You are way too good for adderall, and way too good to live a depressed life. I'm really happy you kept looking into it, even after you found all that crap on the internet about adderall "not causing depression." This website has helped me to understand the effects of adderall on life, health, and my psyche so much more fully than any other website. Everything else tries to pretend it's not that bad, "shouldn't cause depression if used correctly," etc. "Oh, if its helping why don't you just go back on the meds?" Etc. I can't even believe the lack of information available on the long-term effects of this drug. Let alone information about quitting. We the public ARE the lab rats. By communicating with each other here, we can at least become more informed.

This is me the day I decided to quit adderall and never turn back.

Actually, writing this makes me want to quit coffee! One thing at a time......

...Is meant to be there for when we need it. A reserve supply, available anytime, day or night, for when an emergency-type situation arises. Adderall elevates our adrenaline, and related neurotransmitters, artificially. And keeps them elevated until, out of exhaustion, we crash and let the drug wear off. In this case the adrenal stimulus is a pill, and not a dangerous situation requiring immediate strength, mental clarity, and agility. Over the long term, in cases of adrenal fatigue, adderall (and other stimulants, and stress, etc) gradually deplete adrenaline reserve supplies. So if an emergency-type situation arises, and the drug has worn off, you've got no option (except another pill?) When I was on adderall, in the later days of my addiction, I had a case of serious adrenal fatigue. I had no adrenaline freely available; the only route to it was taking another pill. I've noticed that now, after 17 months clean, the adrenaline is available again, and there's a reserve supply. So last night, when I had to get through a somewhat shady situation, a bunch of adrenaline started pumping through my body. I needed it, and that's what it's there for. Because this world is crazy and we could run into a dangerous situation at any time. Adrenaline plays a role in our everyday functioning. We need and we get a little bit just to wake up, or to exercise, or to run a nerve-racking meeting. But let's be honest. The mundane details of life, like cleaning, paper pushing, writing emails, studying, etc. do not warrant a massive adrenaline/dopamine/norepinephrine rush. (That's why we turned to adderall in the first place right?) Getting over the adderall mentality means letting go of the idea that these mundane activities require anything more than just doing them. These things CAN be exciting sometimes, and that's great when they are. But you don't need a huge adrenaline rush to do your boring-ass job--or even an interesting one. You just go do it. The adrenaline will be there for later. For when you really need it. You can't have it all the time. It just doesn't work that way.

OK guys. I only got 5 miles last week. I procrastinated on starting until Thursday, and then didn't make it. That's OK because it just makes me motivated to start early in the week. I just did a 5 mile trail run and 5 minutes of planks.

InRecovery don't injure yourself!!!! But seriously, WOW. So, ummmm, since it's a 3 day weekend, today's mileage will count towards last week right?!

Hi RastaCath, Welcome to the forums! To be perfectly honest, it sounds like the step-down method might not be for you. It seems to work for some, but a lot of adderallics need to quit cold-turkey. It takes so much self-discipline to do the step-down method, and many people can't resist the temptation. For me, it was all or nothing so I chose nothing. I'd suggest, if you REALLY want to quit once and for all, get rid of those pills, cut off your dr and any other sources, and give yourself some time to recover. There's lots of useful information on here, so I'd also recommend staying close to the forums and reading some of the articles on this website. You CAN beat this.... but you have to really and truly want it!

Just about 17 miles for this week! Two big core fitness/plank/push-up / stretching sessions this week too. C'mon friends!!! Let's do this!!! Also, I discovered a secret this week. Start early in the week. Monday or Tuesday. And start easy, with a shorter run. Get that momentum going, don't procrastinate, and don't save all your miles for the weekend!!!! P.S. I'm making a promise to all of you here, because I apparently can't stick to promises I just make to myself. I'm going to start going to yoga classes. I need to work on that aspect of myself. Tomorrow evening will be my first one I'll check in to let you know how it goes!

Computer problems? Essay not turning out the way you like?

This is how I walked into work. Every. Day.

I've done it and never had any problems!

P.S. I highly doubt your students even notice your weight. I can almost guarantee that you're more judgemental about your own weight than they are. I mean I do understand the feeling though. But just remember, they didn't sign up for an art class just to stare at you. They're to learn from you!