Danquit

Great, something felt strange about the traffic lately. I thought people just stopped taking Adderall everywhere. But we all know that’s not true. Thanks for getting the registration fixed!

Congratulations, I’ll be there soon too. It’s good to be back to reality but now I’m wondering where I’d be had I never touched Adderall. I guess it’s a part of who I am now now so just have to go from here.

I miss that unlimited confidence boost and how it made me a better version of myself or so I thought. I don’t miss the psychosis.

This article is so on point. I have had wonderful experiences in all those drugs and I outgrew them fine. Adderall is the only one that put me in the hospital twice because it completely had a hold on my life, I was utterly addicted and I didn’t even know it. It’s the scariest drug of all because it works so damn well at making you feel like a god. It is the worst because out of all the drugs I’ve done, it was the best.

I’m not even sure how long I’ve been off because it’s been almost 3 years now. This is a clear sign that recovery is possible and I just wanted to say hi and let you all know that I’m doing fine. Life is all mine now, it’s not perfect but I can honestly say that Adderall is a distant memory for me. Tonight is the first time it popped in my head in weeks and mainly because I was thinking how good I feel. The crazy thing is I can’t remember how I felt in early recovery anymore. I remember that it was horrible and the worst thing ever but I dint remember exactly how. It’s hard to explain. Lately I’ve just been having these thoughts like “I’m back!” I actually got into my work today while writing a document and I was so focused and started researching stuff and really enjoying it, it was strange because it felt like I was on Adderall, minus the jitters and teeth-grinding. I came across a similar document that I wrote when I was on Adderall and OMG, it was fascinating and scary to look at my work from those days. Knowing what I know now, it’s no surprise I got fired for turning in that work. Anyway, I hope you’re all doing well and loving your Adderall free lives!

Congratulations! One year is huuuuge and it only gets better from here. At one year I was still struggling but I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Year two will be easier but still pretty rough in terms of motivation and some depression. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and getting more days under your belt. Try to enjoy the good days because they will start to be sprinkled in there. The trick is to recognize when you’re having a good day and remember that feeling for when the bad days come. You don’t need Adderall to have a good life, you know that now. Congrats again on a major milestone.

Well done Nicole! I am a few months ahead of you and I feel the same about year one and two. Year three is going well so far but I am still on here quite a bit, I think it may just be habit and to remind myself of how shitty recovery was so I can enjoy being off Adderall even more. I also like to help others that are just starting out. Anyway, keep checking in and enjoy life!

Congrats to 4 months! It’s a milestone but still very early for recovery. You are on your way to a better life without Adderall. Months 5-9 will still be tough with mental fog and anxiety. It wasn’t until we’ll into year two when I felt like my old self again. I am now in year three and I find it hard to remember what those early months were like, but I know they were hell for me. Hang in there and try to enjoy the little things because one day you’ll look back and realize as shitty as this time is, you were still living your life.

Once you are addicted and you try to quit, there is no such thing as taking only your prescribed dose. That is complete bullshit and I firmly believe that people do not need this drug in heir lives. I also believe that adhd was made up by the industry to push this particular drug because of the money it generates for psychiatrists and shire pharmaceutical. Now that you went through your relapse, it’s time to get off again and stay off. I relapsed the first time I tried to quit and did exactly what you did, I binged a 30 day supply in a couple weeks and had psychosis which is what it finally took to get me to realize it was gonna kill me.

I used to keep loose pills in my little hidden zipper pocket of my backpack and after more than two years off every once in a while when I reach in that pocket I still have the thought of “what if there’s an addy in here?” then I root around in there until I come to my senses and realize how strong those little fuckers are. I’m glad you flushed it, but to be complete honest, I think I may have said fuck it and taken it. They don’t scare me anymore which is the really scary part. It’s like I’ve forgotten how awful recovery was and I’m back to being carefree about them. That’s why I need to keep coming here so I can remind myself of the hellish nightmare that is Adderall addiction and recovery.

I’d say there is a small percentage of people who have never abused it. This is based on my personal experience and talking with people who are prescribed Adderall, most of them have abused it at one time or another. It’s the nature of the drug, you can’t help but want to take more and more.

Yeah Frank, I’ve been a lazy ass for two years and only recently started to feel some natural ambition coming back. I don’t know if I feel like I’m on it but I do feel I’m back to before Adderall days. I still have to self motivate but it’s getting easier. I am naturally kinda lazy if I’m not doing something I love to do. Unfortunately, I have to rediscover what I love because Adderall skewed my passions for years.

Your old posts were such a huge inspiration for me in my early days of recovery, I am very happy to see you back here and doing well. I use your story to remind me that this is a lifelong journey and I have to stay vigilant now that I’m at 26 months I am starting to feel complacent about this recovery as if I’ve got it beat but I know how easy it is to slip. Anyway, glad you’re back and doing well!

I have a suspicion that Bourdain was on Adderall because recently he was getting super thin and I remember thinking he has to be on Adderall when I saw him on tv. Anyway, I was a huge fan of his and I am in shock today as I mourn his loss. I remember the initial months of recovery and how I felt like wanting to die, it was awful and I am very thankful I made it through those dark times. If any of you are having suicidal thoughts, please seek help immediately, it can be treated and things will get better. Even sharing here can help, we will support you.

Brain fog was terrible in the first 7-8 months for me. I felt so dumb and useless. It’s just part of the recovery. It got better for me at 9 months and beyond. I think it was completely lifted about half way through the second year but I took a lot more than you for 5 years. Hang in there, it will get better as long as you don’t get back on it.

Oh man my dreams were extremely vivid and realistic the first year of if Adderall. I only had one or two where there was Adderall involved. I remember one dream where I found a half of an orange pill in my jacket and I took it in my dream and I remember being high just like in real life. When I woke up I had a huge sense of relief because it was only a dream. You’ll have some crazy dreams as your brain readjusts to life off of stimulants. This is normal, try to enjoy the good dreams.

Lol!

Some very good points, yes, I always think that everything she does is Adderall affected. How she shops online and organizes her closet. How she has a million printouts with charts and spreadsheets for her “work”, how she is never hungry, how she is always focused on her stuff and never asking about what I’ve been up to. She is a slave to Adderall. I also had the thoughts of grabbing one of her addys but it was a fleeting and horrific thought as I could see her pull bottles placed all over her room. There was a drawer in her bathroom filled with all kinds of bottles, Adderall, vyvanse, benzos, pain pills for sleep. It is the saddest thing but she is basically a functioning druggy. I just need to work up the energy and strength to end it.

I quit 25 months ago but it wasn’t till about 3 months ago that I started to feel free. But even though I feel pretty good, I don’t want to let my guard down and end up back on it somehow.

Definitely sleep, but it wasn’t till months 7-10 where I slept without waking up with some crazy dream and had to try to fall asleep again. I honestly can’t say there were any immediate good effects of quitting because everything was so miserable. But now at two years looking back I can tell you that there are many things that have gotten better after I quit. 1) I am not in Adderall. Mental and physical health way better. 2) My personality has come back and I laugh more, attitude much better towards friends and family. 3) My conversations with people are more real and I actually listen to people before I speak. Work meetings have gotten better because I’m not jumping all over the place speaking out of turn and volunteering for every task. 4) I don’t buy useless stuff online. My spending habits have gotten much better off Adderall so I’m saving more. 5) I enjoy food again (a bit too much). Appetite is definitely better but need to watch what I eat more, overall health is better. 6) I quit smoking cigarettes, breathe better. 7) I exercise all on my own strength, I can run a mile again without stopping: 8) I can see the big picture for life and for work so I don’t feel as overwhelmed as I did on Adderall. I’m way more relaxed in my attitude which makes me kinda lazy, but much better than Adderall driven which was completely fake over promising and not delivering. 9) My anxiety has gotten a lot better, I just dont freak out anymore. Life isn’t perfect, I just deal with problems a lot better. 10) I feel more, so my life experiences are more powerful and real, including the bad stuff. This makes life better, the experiences are more real and not shrouded in a n amphetamine blur. Everything for me is better without Adderall. But only after many months of hell of withdrawals.

I have been seeing this girl on Adderall for several weeks now and I haven’t ended it yet. I have been staying at her place on the weekends and we rarely go anywhere. I helped her reorganize her wardrobe for summer and man it was something else. She literally tried on every single item of clothing to get my opinion whether to keep or donate it. She had hundreds of items and many of them were very similar to each other. It took almost 4 hours! The whole time I kept thinking this was such an Adderall fueled activity and I was fascinated watching her behavior. anyway, we went to dinner afterwards and I brought up Adderall and she just defended it vehemently to the point of getting loud so I just dropped it. At this point I am sure it won’t work but I haven’t told her yet. I wish there was something I could do or say to get her to want to quit, then I could help her, but as others have already stated, it has to be fought from within and only if someone decides for themselves to quit, will they have a good chance of success. The good news is I haven’t had any desire to get back in Adderall when I see how it is affecting her. The bad news is I see how it’s affecting her and I can’t convince her to quit or even try. Ugh this sucks.

Congrats on one year! That is huge even if you don’t feel it yet. I remember it wasn’t until towards the end of year two around 18-19 months where I started to notice that I felt normal again. You are well on your way though and you’ll start having more good days and weeks in your second year. I am excited for you because I know exactly what you are going through and what you have to look forward to. Just keep surviving and getting more and more days under your belt and soon enough you will look back and realize that the worst is behind you. Keep it up!

At least you know this demon is killing you. It took me almost dying twice to realize that adderall was ruining my life. I will never forget how I was when I was taking Adderall. I felt like I was my perfect self; thin, highly motivated, confident, but in reality, I was starving, neurotic, and a complete maniac. You just have to put enough time between you and the last dose so your true self can come back and live your life. Adderall has a way of getting into your brain and living your life for you, kind of like that movie “Get Out”. Anyway, you can rejoin the living anytime you want just put down that Adderall and start counting days.

Lately I’ve been having feelings of General well-being and I don’t know where it’s coming from. I just recognize it and I try to savor the moment for as long as possible before it goes away. I think my brain is rewarding me for staying off Adderall. I don’t know, I just feel really lucky to have made it through the toughest addiction around right now. The more I read about Adderall addiction, the more I can’t believe how this stuff is handed out so freely to people. But then I realize that it’s all driven by money and big pharma greed and it’s been going on since the 40’s with Benzedrine. Anyway, I just wanted to share with you all that I have recently been getting some natural feel goods and I want to encourage those that are struggling that it will get better and it’s totally worth it to quit Adderall for good.

You just have to get through one day at a time and things will eventually work out. Don’t try to fix everything in the beginning. Just survive. I basically did the bare minimum at work to not get fired and now two years out, I am finally starting to get some natural ambition and motivation back. I am still paying back debts that I incurred while I was in Adderall so I guess that is fixing things that Adderall broke. The most important thing is to stay off of Adderall, there is nothing else in the beginning, over time, your natural drive will come back and that’s when you can start to fix the relationships, career, physical, financial stuff that Adderall broke. It takes time, a whole lot of time but it’s completely worth it.