Danquit

I gained about 15 pounds in the first year of recovery from laying around not doing anything and eating out a lot with friends in the weekends because it helped with my depression. I knew it was happening but I was powerless to stop it. It wasn’t until half way through my second year when I made an effort to start exercising and eating less. I still enjoy good food and eating out which makes it harder to lose weight but I think at this point my weight is stable. I’m still about 10 pounds overweight but i am working on it in a healthy manner. So the first year weight gain is normal and it does stabilize so you won’t gain forever, but you will have to work hard to remove that extra weight.

I’m finally getting my mental power back after 21 months of recovery. I am naturally indecisive and Adderall let me make every decision with uber confidence even though some of those decisions were terrible for me. Looking back on recovery, I remember being very indecisive in the beginning because each decision was exhausting. The decisions I make now are actually thought out and take into account the consequences of my choices. I actually weigh the pros and cons of everything before I go jumping into something. This makes me take a lot longer to decide on something but that’s a good thing for me. It’s how people with mental clarity make decisions in life. My impulsivity has gone down as well, it shows in my spending habits as well as all other aspects of my life.

I’d say 6 months solid for me until I finally decided to get out of the house and go for a walk around the park. It was not linear so anything in the first year I could attribute to recovery.

Don’t do it, I had the exact same thoughts when I started recovery. I wanted it all to end too but I didn’t do it. It was fucking brutal but I made it and so can you. Just one day at a time, focus on the little moments where you don’t feel like shit and they will help you. Get outside and just walk around the block. Ince you’re outside, our perspective will change and you will realize that ou know this life, you can live this life. I know it all seems meaningless but that’s not the point. The point is to not give up, there is something you have to live for. It will come to you if you give it time. Recovery is the hardest thing you will ever go through in this life, I’ve heard people with cancer say it was harder than that! It’s harder than boot camp, more painful than a kidney stone and tougher than any breakup I’ve ever been through and I’ve been through some rough ones. But you will make it if you just keep on going.

Congratulations! Amazing journey that should inspire many in this forum!

5 years, last three heavy abuse prescribed 60mg a day but finished script in 2-3 weeks, didn’t sleep, didn’t eat, hallucinated, and ultimately in mental hospital for psychosis, legal troubles, financial problems, lost friends. Quit Adderall, suffered the worst depression and anxiety filled first year, Now, 21 months with zero Adderall, still employed, saving money, having fun with friends, talking to family, enjoying the little things in life at every opportunity.

I’m at 20 months and I remember at 8-9 months I felt I had come a long way but there were definitely weeks where I literally felt like I had just quit but then somehow I managed to survive by taking it one day at a time. Anything in the first year is considered early recovery where PAWS is still strong. Even coming up on two years I feel like there are still days where I can’t do anything without forcing myself and it makes me question if it’s stull withdrawal or if this is as good as it gets. I have to be very careful because in these lows I sometimes have a thought of what if I got some addies how would I be? And that is some dangerous thoughts for me. You will get through the lows if you just put one foot in front of the other and get by one more day. The fight is worth it but you will have to fight hard. It will hurt more than anything you have ever faced in your life, but you have to keep fighting. It gets better and easier in the next year. You are doing great at 8 months, one year is right around the corner. At 9 months you’ll notice a positive change by each person’s timeline is different.

I know exactly what you’re going through because I’ve been there. The first months are brutal because you have zero motivation and you have a ravenous appetite so you’ll gain weight. But know that it gets better with time, a lot of time. In the end all of those wonderful things you think Adderall did for you is a lie. That overconfidence was a lie. There are no shortcuts in life and that’s a lesson I had to learn with Adderall withdrawal. I am 20 months out and I’m running now and I am socializing again in a healthy way. Things are definitely better now so it is worth it. Hang in there and keep updating us. This group has been a lifesaver for me and many others.

I’m 42 but I feel like I am not very mature because I skipped all those years of growth and life hooked on Adderall. I guess my midlife crisis combined with Adderall withdrawal triggered all this existential crisis stuff. It’s just part of my life experience but something is different now, I think this is the long term recovery phase where I have to realize that this is as good as it gets. Sounds depressing I know, but I’m still very thankful to have gotten off of Adderall, because as boring and hard as life can be, at least I am living my life without the soul stealing drug. Adderall stole 5 years of my life so I guess I’m playing catch-up. I’m trying to apply all the lessons I’ve learned through addiction and recovery to improve my life and to share my experience so it can hopefully help others. On to 2 years next!

Happy New Year my recovery family! It’s been 20 months since I touched Adderall (sigh) and I am doing fine. I guess I’m back to normal life as far as I can tell and I don’t have that deep depression like from the first year anymore. It’s strange because I can remember that withdrawal was horrible and painful but I don’t know what it feels like anymore. I have a lot of existential thoughts lately and I also am really bored which is dangerous for me because of my addictive personality. The only thing that I enjoy doing is going running but it’s easy for me to procrastinate or blow it off because I guess I’m not that motivated naturally. I feel like life is just meh but there are moments where I get excited about stuff. I guess this is what normal life is like, instead of high on Adderall where the heavens open up when you clean your bathroom. The key takeaway is that at 20 months I feel like I am back to normal and I’m experiencing life and it’s 100% me. I still check into this site very often but not to cry for help so much as to check in because I know that I still need to be vigilant for the rest of my life. For those starting out, hang in there because it really is worth it. I can’t believe how far I’ve come and I’m so thankful for this community!

Thanks for sharing your story. I consider you lucky because you found your way here without having to go to a mental hospital like me. You are not alone in this journey of recovery and I assure you that things are a lot better without Adderall. But you have to pay your dues and fight like your life depends on it, because it does. Keep posting here with your updates and questions. This community is amazing and I promise you whatever you think you’re experiencing alone, you are not because someone here has gone through it and can give you insight and encouragement when you need it most. welcome to the club!

Merry Christmas Frank! On to year two for me. Unbelievable but very happy about the future finally!

Details please.

Congrats Nicole! You absolutely are better without Adderall. Everyone thinks they are rock stars on Adderall but the truth is they are emotionless, arrogant, cracked out robots. Enjoy your new role and never look back. You did this all by yourself with no Adderall, revel in it!

I’m in month 20 and I totally know what you’re going through. You think at 17 months you should be completely over Adderall but for some reason it still haunts you sometimes. It’s totally normal to have what I think are flashbacks but it will pass. The season does bring some depression and sad thoughts so that is to be expected. You won’t act on getting Adderall but yeah the thought does pop into your head. Just keep moving forward and remember how bad the first year was. Do you ever want to go through that again? I didn’t think so. Stay strong and you’ll have some awesome days in the next few months like I did. Even so, I’m at 20 months and I still read his site a lot! Fuck Adderall.

Consider yourself very lucky. I went through hell those first six months and it was not just in my head. I couldn’t move, I was suicidal and I clawed my way out of depression for months. It was pure hell. At 19 months, I can proudly say that I am almost fully recovered but don’t take away from the hell I went through by saying it was so easy, you were lucky.

Congrats Frank! I know at two years you’d think it’s no big deal but it is. You’ve come so far and you are an inspiration to many even if you don’t see it. I am at month 19 and I read all of your posts and they are of great help because I can see what’s ahead for me as I get closer to 2 years (holy shit) of no Adderall. Life is really starting to get back to normal so try to enjoy the good moments and appreciate the bad moments. You’ve come a long way and are living your life now without Adderall and I can tell by your posts that you have gotten a lot better. I’m looking forward to 2 years and then beyond. happy thanksgiving to you Frank.

Congrats on 14 months! It was definitely a milestone for me. Now you can focus on improving your life and enjoying things again. You are out of the hell that is early recovery but you still have to pick up some pieces leftiver from the addiction days. I am exercising regularly now and I have some natural drive to accomplish things again. At 18 months I really am not looking back much which is a great feeling. You will be here soon and feeling much better. Keep kickin ass!

Never heard of it but I’ll check it out.

Procrastination for me was awful in those early months of recover due to very low dopamine levels. It was almost like I procrastinated on purpose just so I would feel something when a deadline finally crept up. Indecision went along with the procrastination too, I would find it difficult to make the smallest decisions thus adding to my anxiety. Eventually it does get better if you keep pushing forward. Just take one step at a time and get outside and do some exercise! Just walking around helped tremendously in those early days.

Adderall skinny was really great for me until I ended up in the hospital twice for psychosis. I am now running 3 days a week and close to my pre-Adderall weight. I feel about a hundred times stronger than on Adderall and I will never touch that shit again. This is of course after a year of trudging through hell in recovery dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts. My advice to you is quit while you are young and don’t look back. It is absolutely worth it if you are strong enough. And you are.

Good article that shows how close Adderall is to Meth. In fact people prefer Adderall because it’s manufactured by a company so it’s cleaner and more trusted. This is how messed up this whole system is. I am so happy to have escaped the clutches of Adderall but I’m afraid many people will have to go through hell before anything changes to curb this epidemic. Adderall is legal Meth.

That is a great sign when people notice that you are you again. My family and friends that knew me before Adderall all tell me that I am much friendlier and fun to be around again. I’m not missing the Adderall me much anymore because my confidence is coming back naturally and it feels great!

Vent away two months is still extremely early in recovery. I promise it gets better as long as you take it day by day and do not go back to Adderall. Hang in there and come here to share your journey and it will help you tremendously!

Congrats! 10 months is definitely a turning point for the best. At 12 months there will be even better days and it continues to get better into your second year! I’m so glad you didn’t take that piece of Adderall I’m not sure I could resist at 10 months. There’s no turning back now you are kicking ass! Fuck Adderall!