Tom23Jones

Hey bro, stay patient. One thing is for sure, everything changes. So if you push through this tough time for awhile longer the clouds will eventually part

Awesome stuff. I've also been listening to Jordan Peterson's book 12 rules on audible for a few weeks now. Powerful stuff. And I too have been doing Keto/Carnivore for several months and feeling awesome. Getting stronger in the gym and weighing less/leaner every week. I was about 255lbs when I quit Adderall and now I'm under 180 now. Keep it up!

I'm at two years and a couple months and I agree with this 110%. But this post and also @Frank B 's recent post about it being quiet on here lately reminded me that we have a responsibility to share our experience, strength, and hope with others. My life is so full and happy now that I rarely log on here anymore but I remember that first year when I was on here daily and wondering if I'd ever not be depressed, lazy, and unmotivated. And it was in those dark times that reading the hopeful posts from others gave me the strength to keep pushing one day at a time. I just got back from an epic 3 week vacation in Europe with my wife. I know I would have never been able to save for a trip like that if I was still using adderall and hadn't found this website, NA Meetings and the strength to give up that shit for good. I'll try to be more active on here

FuckThis9to5 (very happy ;-) otherwise)

I was wondering if I was the only one who was triggered by the trailer... I probably shouldn't even watch it in its entirety but I know I will because in some ways I still obsess over adderall. I know I get preachy and worked up anytime it comes up in a conversation, whether it be talking about kids taking it or the many adults I know that take it.... Eight-Teen months!!!! Congrats!

Yeah hes made mention of adderall on so many different podcasts. Theres been several guests that have admitted to being on it. Its always so obvious the ones that are on it anyhow, they have a certain hollowness about them and they talk in one long run on sentence lol.

I just feel the need to share the fact my doc just called and said my echocardiogram came back normal and my heart is healthy and strong. I've always had a fear that I did lasting damage to my heart from the years of heavy daily stimulant abuse. To have that weight lifted from me offers a peace of mind that is indescribable. I was convinced that some of my massive panic attacks were heart attacks and that this echo would show that damage. Really feeling the gratitude after that phone call. I'm excited to ramp up the intensity at the gym and push myself even harder. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

I bit the bullet and paid for the Headspace app for a year. They are guided meditations but the more you advance the less guidance there is and more silence. In the beginning I struggled to focus on my breath and sit still but if you keep doing it every single day you start noticing the positive effects of being more mindful. Throughout the day we don't realize how often were just on auto pilot with negative thought loops in our head but that slowly starts to go away and your able to be more present. I also like the fact that Headspace has different packs you can do, for instance I've done 30 days of meditation geared towards depression, I've done the anxiety pack, stress, etc. All the packs and singles are free once you pay for the app. There are singles for sleep, motivation, a big conversation etc. Pretty much every meditation you can choose to do 3mins to 20mins depending on how much time you have on any given day. It keeps track of your consecutive days and total hours meditated which I've read that in itself can help with dopamine levels.... something about starting a positive streak

I'm also at 21 months and my mental clarity has improved greatly in the past couple months. I don't know what exactly I owe it to because I've been doing several new positive habits or it could just be the time healing. I think I owe a ton of the credit to meditation, nutrition, and exercise. I've meditated daily for at least 10mins for 162 consecutive days and its been life changing. My thoughts are no longer racing, I feel more calculated even in stressful situations. I'm almost never reactive, even if my wife is getting upset with me over something I'm able to stay calm, think and respond. I also think the grueling weight training and cardio have improved my cognition and clarity. Lastly, I've made a radical change to my diet since January 1st I've been doing the Keto diet (high fats, moderate protein, basically no carbs). I've had no sugar that didn't come from fruit and I've had no carbs that haven't been from vegies and no processed foods. I've also noticed that my mental acuity is always sharper if I'm at least a little hungry.

Exactly! We all need to have that David Goggins savage mindset. We all know need to know that going through this kind of struggle will only make us more bad ass in the future. When I'm feeling weak in the gym I often think back to how hard and terrible its been to kick this habit and I pull strength from that dark place. If I quit adderall after being a slave to it for a decade, whats one more fuckin rep, whats more mile on the treadmill.

Awesome! I need to listen to this entire podcast episode asap... I've heard its an epic one

pos·i·tiv·i·ty

Yeah it was pretty a pretty epic show... I live in VA and I missed him when he was in D.C. so I made the 4 hour trek to Durham to see him. Yeah it makes total sense that Trump could still be abusing phen-phen or phentermine. It would explain a lot of his manic behavior and his grandiose way of thinking. Phentermine brings back bad memories for me, I was such a speed freak that I got prescribed those from a diet doctor for after I'd burn through my monthly Adderall script. Was a much harsher feeling than adderall but I'd still abuse the shit out of them until I got more adderall. Thinking back I'm lucky my heart never exploded, sometimes I'd have both on hand and take them together.

I do the same thing, I sometimes obsess over thinking someone must be on adderall but its not really a trigger to me. You can tell how fake the energy and conversations are. I recently went to Durham NC for a Joe Rogan show and Durham is a big college town Duke University is right there. The coffee shops we hit up felt riddled with Adderall Junkies. All these kids talking 100mph over top of each other with these fake smiles, it was strange.

about 10 years. The last 2 or 3 was when I started really to abuse and binge. I have friends who are in the honeymoon phase of adderall so there is no talking sense into them, they are convinced its a lifesaver and I get it because it does work well for a couple years or even longer but eventually that tolerance becomes insatiable

Self-Aware.

I hate the "quick fix" mentality of our health care as well. Doc's are super quick to send people home with scripts for xanax, anti-depressants or stimulants. You can feel how hurried the whole doctor visit is... there is no thorough diagnosis, its more like you tell them the symptoms of the drugs you want and most likely you leave with it. Its sickening. And its even more sickening that 8 and 9 year old kids get prescribed this shit. Of course they struggle focusing at school and sitting still. They are fuckin 8 and 9 year old kids who would rather be playing outside.

I had mine tested as part of a dutch adrenal test and mine came back very low too. I'm not sure how accurate it was though. My test was done by saliva and urine and I mailed it in. I've since read that you need to take a blood test to get an accurate testosterone reading. A lot of our symptoms are very similar to low testosterone; fatigue, lack of motivation, depression etc. Testosterone replacement therapy would be a last resort for me... I've read once you go that route, you might as well know you'll need for a lifetime. I think you stop producing testosterone naturally after you have TRT. For now I'm trying to increase it naturally. I know if your carrying around extra body fat it can lower your T levels so I'm working on getting as lean as I can. I'm down from 255-ish to 209

I've heard from so many people that it can change your entire world view, which is both a fascinating and a scary idea. And yeah Joe Rogan talks about it all the time on his podcast lol. Right now I'm just being patient because I'm seeing rapid improvement in my mood, focus, energy, outlook etc. I haven't been anxious or worried recently which I've heard is a very bad state to be in to trip but on the other hand, I don't want to upset all the positive things going on right now with a bad trip. The only reason I'm considering it is because I feel like I have these big questions, whats my purpose? what is the point of life for anyone? what happens after life? etc. I've heard tripping can give you some clarity on those things...or at least some peace of mind to just know that it'll all work out

I'd like to give pot a whirl again sometime. I've had some good experiences with it. It might sound stupid but I've had a few times where the experience was pretty profound...kind of like an enlightenment. I remember one time I smoked when I was still taking adderall and clear as day, for the first time I knew the adderall addiction was not sustainable and I had to quit to move forward in life. But I've also had the bad anxiety high where I knew that I was going to die and my heart would explode....eventually when I know I'm in a positive state of mind and spiritually sound, I'd like to utilize it as a tool for meditating and for taking a introspective look at myself. I don't want to make this post like pro-drugs but I'm definitely intrigued by DMT and/or ayahuasca. Its obviously not something you'd do recreationally but more like a few times tops in a lifetime. The people who have tried it talk about how profound the experience is. Its interesting how they say it makes them so empathetic and loving after they've tripped on dmt. I know that sounds like some super hippy shit but its still interesting.

I struggled with same things you mentioned. I would have a hard time thinking of certain words to use in a conversation and I'd feel like an idiot. Most of the time it was simple words that I just couldn't think of. I'm not so sure it was memory issues though. It was more from my social anxiety and being so worried I was not going to be able to contribute to the conversation. I think time has been the biggest healing ingredient in regards to being more social. I'm slowly getting confidence and wit back. I now make it a point to talk to people at the gym or church or wherever... I used to do everything I could to avoid conversations. The other thing that I really believe has helped me be a better communicator is meditation. I'm able to slow down and actually listen, breathe, respond. I've meditated daily for 125 consecutive days and I rarely get that feeling where my mind is racing in several different directions.

I just turned 32 this month. I think I used to question the meaning of life and what its all about as a teenager but throughout all of my 20's I was high on adderall so I never pondered big questions like that. I guess now that I've been sober for this long, I'm starting to wonder what my purpose is or what life I want to create for myself. I find myself thinking I'll live a happy and purposeful life "eventually" but I'm starting to realize eventually doesn't come, you have to make it happen.

I think I remember from old posts that we were pretty much on the same quitting timeline. I'll be at 20 months in two more days. I can definitely relate to having a lot of existential thoughts recently. I don't know if it comes from being sober and just thinking on a deeper level or what but I find myself asking what the meaning of all this is and what my specific purpose is etc etc. I also relate to exercise being one of the few things you enjoy. I love running and lifting weights now. I do it every morning at 5am and I find myself saying thats my favorite part of the day and everything else is just meh after that. I don't want to take for granite all the other positive things going on though, my depression has lifted, my anxiety is becoming less frequent and less intense. My natural energy has returned and also my ability to communicate with family and friends is improving with every month.

Powerful.