LILTEX41

OMG, I can totally relate! I went to the ER because I thought I was having a heart attack. I BECAME extremely bipolar because I wasn't sleeping and taking adderall every 4 hours. I had dellusions and my mood was all over the place. The ER sent me to a psych ward....then they sent me to detox. I was diagnosed as bipolar. Dude! I'm not bipolar! I'm just now weening off the seroquel pills. I'm still on the others but I want to get off those too. My problem is I'm an adderall addict. I went through stages like you did where the high is fantastic and I'd get so much done along with feeling on top of the world. Then there were times when I'd take them and feel like they weren't hardly doing anything. The bottom line in the end for me though was the fact that my life was a total disaster due to taking adderall. There is a saying that I like. "One is too many and a thousand is never enough." I know for me, the chase of the high will never be enough. Addiction is when we keep chasing and chasing a high until we can't even chase it anymore. Another saying I like, "I was sick and tired of being sick and tired." That's how I was. I just wanted my life to be sane (even if that meant letting my life fall apart at the seems in the short term) and to be happy again. I'm 117 days clean from adderall and all drugs and alcohol today. I'm in no way "on top of the world", however, I'm feeling better than ever and I know there are great things ahead for me in life. I'm very excited to see what my life will be like a year from now when I feel 100% responsible for all my successes and not that my life has been created by false pretenses. May you find what you've been looking for and I pray you find it elsewhere than where you've previously searched. Take care my friend! Erin