LILTEX41

I hear you sister. You can do this though. I'm still working on the eating normally without my favorite diet pill - adderall. My weight has bounced all over the place since I went off of it...hence, why I wouldn't give it up for so long. But along this journey for me, I am slowly learning the concept of intuitive eating. I have ups and downs with it, but I firmly believe it is the answer. I know eventually I'll get it, but it's going to take time. The positive note is hey, at least there is a solution! Don't give up! Your life will improve so much! And by the way, if it helps you feel better, you've totally helped brighten my day already this morning! Life is still challenging off adderall at times, (but NOTHING like it was before) and it helps me to come here and read stories like yours because it helps me to remember that bad dark time period of my life. It makes me feel so GOOD to be at where I'm at today even if it's not where I want to be quite yet....at least I can see all the progress I've made since I've been clean for 2 years and 3 months as of 2.12.13, but who's counting? lol I just wanted to reach out to you because today is day 1 and thought you could use some support. So don't worry if you feel like right now. At least you'll stop feeling lke . GOOD days are ahead my friend! YOU CAN DO THIS!!! HUGS!

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Great job! Give yourself a big pat on the back my friend. You completed your first task off adderall and got a 100%. Just imagine the limitless opportunities that are available to you now. You can have a fun filled life free from adderall obsession and conquer your goals. Pretty awesome stuff. Also, just remember that rome wasn't built in one day. Take baby steps in the beginning and make sure to revel in every accomplishment no matter how small. Dwell in this place for as long as you can and build on it with every new victory and obstacle overcome without the use of adderall. Thanks for sharing!

What a positive message! Love to see all the improvement taking place now that you're clean. Awesomeness!

Occasional1, I have been remembering your crappy advice all week. As I've been agonizing over minor details of things at work, I've now at least aware of it and trying to force myself to make a decision and move on. Great advice!! Love it!

Wow everyone! This list is awesome! Love all your ideas! Krax, I'm downloading that app now Quit Once- Love that you use food and hunger as motivation. Great idea! And the visualization piece with the chore/task an outstanding concept as well. I am going to start using these tools. Cassie - wow, we have so much in common. I remember we discussed our relationships awhile back...so now we are the same age, sober, and trying to figure out what to do with our lives. Maybe we are related or something, lol. LOVE what you said about being receptive to new messages...and God, I know what you mean by the more you chase after something, the more it eludes you. My problem is that I am extremely impatient. I go about 90 mph when I have a new idea and I won't stop until I have an answer, but like you said, that is most likely a big part of the problem. I'm definetely going to read that article you posted as soon as I get done responding. Thank you! Motivation - Wow, even more great tips! Love the 10 min tidy up and laundry idea! I need to do that like now, lol. And I am def going to check out the website you mentioned. Again, thank you everyone! I was shocked by all the responses I got back on this just now and so excited to have so many new ideas. Maybe I should focus on doing 1 of them at a time. I say keep em' coming. Thanks again!

Emmapea, I agree with the Sky and Krax! But I definitely recommend getting outdoors as soon as you have some energy. I don't know where you live and what the weather is like, but there is just something about being in the outdoors that is revitalizing for the spirit - especially during the early stages of recovery. Just like Occasional mentioned above, I totally remember feeling the same way about being "too busy" for stuff like that. Nothing existed outside of my adderallic trance as far as I knew. The most important thing was maintaining that adderall high and laser sharp focus on whatever task I was doing at the moment. It's funny he brought this up today because I had a few bad weeks recently and had not been outdoors whatsoever. Today I finally got on my bike for the first time in months and it was AWESOME. Of course, it was like 70 degrees and all, but it was SO MUCH fun just riding around and listening to music. Definitely one of my favorite activities! But yeah, don't worry, your energy will come back...just give it time. Hugs!

Emily, message me anytime you need to talk! I'll send you a friend request on fbk. You can do this! I've been sober for 26 months. I know what you mean about not having many support people that can relate with this addiction. Would love to help in any way I can. Hugs! Erin

I LOVE reading posts like this! You definitely made me just now. So happy for you! Congrats on your new fabulous life! Hugs!

Hi, everyone! So yesterday it dawned on me that post-adderall recovery can be challenging at times if I am not actively staying on top of my ADD. I've read some articles with great recovery tips, however, I tend to do good for awhile after reading such articles, and then slowly find myself in the same patterns because I forget about the articles/tips because I get too distracted with everything else. LOL Gotta love ADD! So I thought I'd start a thread today and call it - ADDERALL RECOVERY TIPS. I'm hoping everyone could share what they are currently doing or plan on doing if you decide to do the unthinkable and QUIT ADDERALL. Crazy idea, I know! BUT I think it would be really cool if we could generate a GIANT list of RECOVERY tips for one another. It's one thing to read an article by the guru's out there, but it's another thing to go to the people with the problem and find out what's helped them. PLUS, considering everyone most likely has ADD on this site, we have got to be the MOST CREATIVE group of people out there! I'm sure if we put our heads together, we could generate some amazing type of amazing guide to make recovery easier. Who's in? For example, I'll start with my own battle. POST ADDERALL RECOVERY PROBLEM: Staying ORGANIZED / STRUCTURED Description: In recovery, (it's been 26 months now - whoooo hooo!) I struggle with 2 things: 1. Chores 2. What I want to do with my life 1) Chores Two weeks ago, I did an overhaul cleaning job on my apartment. It took me four days. I decluttered, got rid of stuff, reorganized my cabinets, mopped floors, etc. However, my apartment is out to get me as it has managed to slowly spread my junk around again! A pile of shoes by the door, a stack of mail by the counter, unfolded laundry, 4 cases of empty diet pepsi boxes in the kitchen, etc. I hate being messy and I can't think with this crap everywhere. I realize if I keep on top of these chores everyday, I won't have to have another 4 day cleaning spree. 2) What to do with my life The second issue I have is figuring out what I want to do with my life. This has beeh a question for a good 20 years, but at least now I really have a shot on actually doing it as I'm clean and no longer have a drug / alcohol addiction getting in the way. As I've thought about this debate over the past 2 years, I tend to hop from one thing to the next. I get excited about something one week, research it, become hyper focused about it, and then the next week I forget all about it and I'm on to something else. I created a list of all the things I enjoy and would like to pursue, but I still don't exactly know the answer. POST ADDERALL RECOVERY SOLUTION: 1) Daily TO DO PLAN This is the MOST critical thing I MUST do in adderall recovery. I am SUPER SUCCESSFUL whenever I create a plan for the next day the night before. I realize my life gets out of hand when I forget to do it or get too busy. So what I do is I keep an excel spreadsheet of what I plan to do the next day. I have every hour planned. I use one of the columns to make a 'to do' list and then devise a plan / time for each task. I keep it on my laptop, my refrigerator eraser board, make a note card, and/or email it to myself so I can have it with me all throughout the day. Without this structure I tend to not get much of anything done. I highly suggest making this a top priority in your life if you don't already! 2) Narrow down the focus of your goals and pick the top 1 - 2 goals I learned this tip last week in a Smart recovery meeting. I finally did this and I am super excited because I now feel like I am ready to execute my plan. This is by far the best advice I've gotten in a long time. I have SO many things I want to do in life and recently I realized I wasn't getting anywhere because I was putting my toe in a little bit of everything rather than executing any one particular plan. This took some time, but I came up with the 2 most important recently and now I am going to devise an all out action plan for each of these goals. It's not that I am not doing the others, but I'm going to work on these first. Once I have my plan/design for each goal, I am going to schedule the tasks into my daily and weekly plan. This is why my daily to do plan is critical. If I don't have a plan, I get too caught up in the world of electronic media, social functions, and just life really. Last May I completed Ironman Texas. I was SUPER FOCUSED and I did excellent, but that was because I had a PLAN. I logged into my trainingpeaks account everyday and knew exactly what I was supposed to do (I had a coach who uploaded my schedule every 3 weeks). I HAD to stay on top of everything else in my life or else I wouldn't be able to manage the plan. BUT once it was over my life sort of fell apart because my goal was completed and the schedule was gone. I realize now how great of a tool that was for me and if I want to accomplish anything in life like that again, it would be in my best interest to mimic the process and go for it. Ok, so that's my tip! I really hope some of you will join me on this quest. Remember, sharing is CARING. Hugs friends!

Yes ma'am! I was wondering if that was you!!! I am SOOO happy to hear you are doing so well. And you have 9 months CLEAN! Whooooo hoooo!!! Did you end up going to rehab? Meetings? So proud of you girl!!!

Lea, I know exactly what you mean! You describe the adderall coma so well! Wasting precious time on activities that are meaningless really...I remember that. I remember suddenly realizing hours had gone by and feeling alone. One time I sat on the computer for 5 hours straight or more working on an excel spreadsheet for work. I was not at work. I should've been outdoors, working out, socializing with friends, watching a movie, reading a book, or engaged in some type of social activity. Instead I was isolating at home alone FOCUSED on creating a masterpiece for the office. How sad...thinking back on it now. Anyhow, it took me many trys to get off adderall. I found this site in 2007 or 2008 thank God. I didn't finally quit until Nov 2010. Wherever you're at on your journey is OK. Nobody has to quit adderall. After all the doctor's do prescribe it for a reason. Honestly, I don't know if I ever would have been able to quit had it not been for my 2 trips to the ER and a car crash. I was that addicted to it that although bad crazy things kept happening....I STILL couldn't fathom giving it up. It's not an easy task, but you can do it IF you decide you ever want to. You know....it's funny, but I realized the other day how much I DON'T miss it. This thought came to me and it REALLY surprised me. I was thinking about it because I'm doing an article in a magazine that's coming out in a month or so and I was remembering how physically exhausted I was all the time. I remember that I never slept, never ate, chain smoked, and drank like a fish. I am so healthy now. I sleep 8 hours a night. Food tastes AMAZING. I love food now. I feel well rested and just balanced more than anything. I remember the happiness you are referring to. It's the first hour the pill kicks in. I remember how it would put me in the BEST mood EVER. I would be bouncing off the walls...jackhammer speech, and LOVING life. But then....the come down...around 4 hours later....almost like a gradual hangover setting in....hmmm....pop another adderall....WHOOOO HOOO!! Back to LOVING life again! Cycle - Repeat...oh shit, it's been 2 days and I haven't gone to sleep yet. Drink alcohol....A LOT, smoke pot, pass out. Wake up feel horrible. Pop an adderall. WHOOOO HOOO!!! Cycle - repeat. Wow, that's hard living. It does feel good to not be on that roller coaster today, but just know I understand where you are coming from. It is a hard to let go. So don't for now...and just come hang out on this site....and know there is a support team here if you ever do want to try and quit. Hugs!

I am just now reading all the responses and I love you guys! Ashley, how are you doing???????? Are you OKAY?! Would love to hear an update on your progress along with anyone else out there who is struggling. You guys CAN do this! It gets easier! Hugs! Lil tex

Whittering, You CAN do this!!! Do NOT give up! It gets easier, I promise! I have been clean from adderall for 1 year and 8 months, but who's counting? I just typed out my story about the first time I overdosed. It's horrific and looking back I do not miss adderall even in the slightest bit today. I hate it. How sad to think I wasted six years of my life being wrapped up in it's grips. Going over my story made me remember what it felt like to be on it again. I would not go back to that ever again. Joy and happiness compared to being a robotic zombie. It puts you in a trance and there is so much more to life today. It's like my eyes are open and I am cognicent of the sun if that makes any sense. I no longer bounce from task to task to task ignoring the rest of the world. I smile today. I am healthy. I eat well, exercise, get plenty of sleep, and I no longer have cycling moods of highs/low (you know HAPPY BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS WHEN IT FIRST KICKS IN/down and depressed and irritable as hell when it wears off). My suggestion is to start coming up with some dreams for your life. Find something you are passionate about and go after it. Do your dreams include taking adderall for the rest of your life? Do you really want to be a slave to it again? What if you could find alternative solutions to your problems without taking adderall? Would you reconsider? I promise, things will work themselves out in the end. What you are experiencing is just a little road bump in your recovery. Make a pro's and con's list. Post it if you'd like. I will help you in any way I can. Here's how it works. This is a tool I use from a recovery group I'm in. It's called a CBA for cost benefit analysis. Take a look if you get a chance. And remember, "The road of a thousand miles begins with one step." You are already like 200 steps in! http://www.smartrecovery.org/resources/library/Tools_and_Homework/Quick_Reference/CBA_Worksheet.pdf

Hi Jared! I'm so sorry I am just now responding. I am crazy busy right now and will continue to be so until May 19th. Actually, I could do Monday or Tuesday next week in the evening? Let me know if you're free.

Ashley, I want to take back what I said about going to rehab. I don't think it's necessary to go to rehab to quit. If you have a high enough resolve and you are serious about quitting, you can do it! For me, it worked this time, but I did go to outpatient a long long time ago and it didn't then. I think it comes down to how bad you really want to stop. If you want to quit, you will. I promise you that! Just google how to quit drinking without AA and you'll get all kinds of feedback. Hope this helps!

Ok, so the other thing is that any time a counselor is an AA advocate they are going to be biased and believe their way is the only one that works. I've had a few counselors that were against AA. I spent so many years confused and somewhat a mess because of the entire situation. I'm telling you right now, you don't have to do that! Check out Stanton Peele's website. He's a great resource as well. http://www.peele.net/ you For me, I had to do all the homework I could and find the right path for me. What works for me may not work for someone else, you know what I mean? I just know that today no matter what, my first and foremost priority in life is my Sobriety. God is the only thing that comes before it. My family has been a wonderful source of support. I normally talk to my mom whenever I feel unsure about going to events or places where there will be alcohol. I know she is on my side and has my back. There are few people I trust today, but I know she's one of them and I am always so thankful I can turn to her. Ok, I gotta get going, but hope I've been of some sort of help today. Please let me know how you are doing and let me know if you ever want to talk! I'm always here if you need support!

The book, Sober for Good by Anne Fletcher is awesome! I have met plenty of people who either a. do not drink or b. don't drink anymore. They don't go to meetings. They've been sober for over 10 years. They used to have a problem, so they quit and they know they can't drink. Period. I was under the assumption for so long that was not possible due to the jargon I was fed at AA. I do at times miss going to AA though just simply to be around other people that are in recovery. I guess that's why I came to the boards here the other day. I needed to talk to people who are in my situation. Ok, so there are also other programs! Hooray! Here's a list: SOS - Secular Organization for Sobriety RR - Rational Recovery WFS - Women For Sobriety Smart Recovery (my favorite/the one I am a member of today) - Self Management and Recovery Training http://www.smartrecovery.org/ When I went to rehab it was all 12 step based. I tried to overlook that part. It was tough. Outpatient was the same thing. I found myself getting annoyed at times. However, the good part about rehab was that it protected me and cemented my sobriety in my head. Basically, knowing I spent all that money, accepted help, and everyone around me knew I went...it just made it easier for me in the end. It helps me too whenever people try to casually get me to drink with them. If it's someone I am close to and I trust I know I can always be like, "Um, dude, I went to rehab. I can't drink." That usually shuts them up.

Ashley, This is the 3rd time I've tried to reply back to you and I pray I don't erase it again. Ugh! Ok, so first off so glad to hear back from you. Second, don't worry about what those AA/NA people tell you. Those programs are not the only way to get sober even the people in AA will tell you that. Ok, 4th time I just erased everything. I'm going to write and then send going forward.

Newboy, You definitely sound like you are on medication from your writing. Try the vitamins. I take St. John's Wort. It seems to have improved my mood. It does not give me a high. Exercise gives me a high and I love it. I don't take any medication today. At one point I saw a shrink and he had me on 3 different kinds of drugs. I was a zombie. Maybe for some people, that's good. All I know for me is I am so happy to be drug free today. I don't have to mess with ANY side effects of any medication. My brain has healed and I haven't had a using dream about adderall or anything in over six months. You will be FINE! PROMISE. As far as having slight attention problems/trouble concentrating...don't we all have issues with that? In today's society with all the technology, advertisements, and social media, how do we ever get anything done? What I've found helpful is setting up alternative strategies. Devour any material on how to overcome ADD without medication. I've found setting up structure, tasks lists, and keeping to a routine extremely helpful. There is tons of helpful information on this website of course. You can overcome your inattention problem without medication that promotes robotic psychotic obsessive compulsive behavior. You seem very intelligent and I can only imagine the type of success in your future when you are willing to let go of the euphoria created by a stupid man made pill. Good luck in your journey my friend! Erin

Newboy, You definitely sound like you are on medication from your writing. Try the vitamins. I take St. John's Wort. It seems to have improved my mood. It does not give me a high. Exercise gives me a high and I love it. I don't take any medication today. At one point I saw a shrink and he had me on 3 different kinds of drugs. I was a zombie. Maybe for some people, that's good. All I know for me is I am so happy to be drug free today. I don't have to mess with ANY side effects of any medication. My brain has healed and I haven't had a using dream about adderall or anything in over six months. You will be FINE! PROMISE. As far as having slight attention problems/trouble concentrating...don't we all have issues with that? In today's society with all the technology, advertisements, and social media, how do we ever get anything done? What I've found helpful is setting up alternative strategies. Devour any material on how to overcome ADD without medication. I've found setting up structure, tasks lists, and keeping to a routine extremely helpful. There is tons of helpful information on this website of course. You can overcome your inattention problem without medication that promotes robotic psychotic obsessive compulsive behavior. You seem very intelligent and I can only imagine the type of success in your future when you are willing to let go of the euphoria created by a stupid man made pill. Good luck in your journey my friend! Erin

Ashley, did you ever get a chance to meet up with Mike? Where are you in Texas? I'm in Houston. I am trying to arrange a group meeting here sometime soon. Would love to meet you! Erin

Where do you guys live in Houston? I live in The Woodlands and would LOVE to meet up! We could do lunch or coffee or whatever. So excited! Erin

Hi Ashley! (((((Hugs))))))) I know this is difficult. I remember when my friend broke down my addiction for me over a phone convesation. She had been clean for a year and went through pill addiction as well. At first I didn't really believe her until she shared her experience. She went on to explain she was constantly chasing a high. She took a pill and as soon as it wore off she'd base her whole day around the next pill. She'd dump her pills out and constantly recount them to make sure she had enough and know when she was going to run out. She'd do crazy things like drive all across town, hours at times to get to a pharmacy, or doctor in order to get another script. She went on and on and the longer she talked the more reality set in that my problem was no longer just a little joke. I had a serious addiction and it was by far the most important thing in my life. NOBODY got in the way of me and my pills. If you think it is not that serious, just give yourself a few more years of it. Addiction never gets better in my experience. You could tell yourself it's not that bad and try to kick the habit on your own. I tried to do that several times. Adderall always found me again. It wasn't until I wound up in the emergency room for the 2nd time due to an adderall overdose that I finally accepted treatment as I knew it was awfully strange to be carted away in an ambulance not once but twice for the same type of incident. The first incident I was able to refer to as a freak accident. The docs messed up my pills. It wasn't my fault, etc. The second time I didn't have any excuses. I finally had to accept responsibility and admit my addiction for once and for all. I did not have the money. I was still paying for the last hospital bills, but I went anyway. They even sent me to a psychiatric unit because they didn't know if i was crazy or overdosed. From there they sent me to detox. I stayed there for a week. I then did outpatient for a couple months. I can promise you today that it was worth it. I've been fighting alcoholism and drugs for 20 years. I have a bachelors degree. I am successful. Because I never hit rock bottom I wavered in and out of sobriety. Treatment is what finally got me sober. I couldn't skirt around the issue anymore to my friends or family. Everyone knew I was in rehab and how could I get away with drinking/adderall again? It was totally worth the money. I have 16 months of sobriety today. I am free from drugs and alcohol and my life is really good. The question to ask yourself, how much is your life worth? Do you want to still be fighting this battle a couple years from now? How bad do you want help? It's a lot easier to do it surrounded by a supportive environment that it is on your own. At least to get you the initial recovery that you need. It seemed so silly to me at first, but looking back I am so thankful I did it. It sure as hell made me happy when I finally was free. Free enough to know I don't ever want to go back to rehab ever again and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure that doesn't happen...and that is why I'm here on this website today. To reach out to people needing help for something I've overcome. I cannot believe I'm on the other end of this thing today, but just imagine you can be too! Imagine how awesome it will feel a year from now when you can come back here and help others! I will pray for you that the right answers will come to you. This is a big decision you have to make and only you know if you're ready for it or not. You don't have to make any decisions right away, but if you are worried and scared to death to lose your best friend adderall like I was, then you have already crossed a bridge to your recovery. You have admitted you have a problem. This is the first stage of your recovery. I remember crying uncontrollable upon coming to grips with my addiction. It was the most terrifying feeling I'd ever known. To feel so completely and utterly dependent upon a substance that was a stupid f-king orange pill...the fact I'd given up my life for it and yet to be so frightened for my life without it all at the same time....it is the worst feeling on earth. I never ever in a million years thought I could do it. I thought I'd take it till I'd die. Life without it seemed unbearable. IN reality that was my addiction talking. My addiction lies to me. It wants me dead. It wants me to be miserable. It is trying to kill me. CHOOSE LIFE today Ashley! You are so worth it my friend. There is a beautiful life waiting for you on the other side of this. This is one of my favorite quotes and I'll leave it at this: E.M. Forster We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. You can do this girl! I have faith in you! Godspeed Erin

Luann, I am here to tell you that your life will get SOOOOO much better once you are off of it permanently. It's going to take some time, but you WILL get your old self back!!! These crying fits you are having is all DUE TO ADDERALL. I will be 16 months clean from adderall as of March 12th, 2012. I don't even think about it anymore, but I sure as hell did when I first stopped. Reading your post brought it all right back to me and OH MY GOD I WOULD NOT WISH THAT TORTURE ON MY WORST ENEMY. You CAN get THROUGH this. My life is so amazing and blessed today. Do you know that I went to a psychiatric hospital and they actually diagnosed me as bipolar because I had ODed on adderall? They thought I should keep taking it and that my craziness and mental instability was genetic. They didn't even see it linked to adderall!!! Adderall is a CRAZY DRUG. It messed up my life for 6 years. I look back on all that time now as wasted years of my life. I promise you girl, you will be so AWESOME once you are free and clear. The fact that I have overcome adderall is ASTONISHING. When I look back to how badly it had its grip on my life (ruined my relationship with my fiance, wrecked my car, went to ER twice, etc.) and the fact I still wanted to take it??? Really?? If I can get off of it, anyone can!!! My heart goes out to you and GOD is with you always. He strengthened me and pulled me through and he WILL do the same for you! You MUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND STAY POSITIVE. Train yourself to think I WILL OVERCOME ADDERALL and imagine how AMAZING YOUR LIFE WILL BE WHEN YOU ARE DRUG FREE. I am training for an Ironman right now. In detox we had to write our COMEBACK STORY. I have dedicated this year, 2012 as my COMEBACK. I just ran a half marathon and finished 3rd place in my age group. My dreams are coming true now that I am drug free. Adderall was straight poison for me. You can fulfill your destiny with God's help once you're clean. Praying for you tonight! (((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) Erin