LILTEX41

Hey Barbie, I think MFA and Occasional gave some great advice here. Honestly, I'm very anti prescription drugs and let me tell you why. This I can only speak of from my own experience and I hope not to offend anyone who needs medication. I think there are definitely people out there who have serious mental disorders and need to be treated accordingly. From my own experience, the more I research and try to figure out what's wrong with me, the worse I tend to become. For me being diagnosed with any type of "disorder" made me feel depressed. It made me feel trapped and as though I would never be "free" because I was living in this "label" of some ailment. I suffer from "depression", "anxiety", "add", "social anxiety", on and on and on. Last week I watched a great segment by Joel Osteen about removing these labels. It has changed me this week. I really got to thinking about what he said and how these negative tapes were repeating over and over again in my head consistenly. I decided NO MORE. This week has been incredible so far. I have made new labels for myself....like I am awesome. I am STRONG, I am ASSERTIVE, I am CONFIDENT, IAM CAPABLE, I am OUTGOING, and I can do ANYTHING. As soon as I start hearing the old tape playing...I stop it immediately and remind myself of my new labels. It's really working and I feel great! Here's a link to his sermon if you'd like to watch it. http://www.joelostee...eksMessage.aspx The other thing I wanted to mention...what is really going on with you? Are you happy in your marriage, do you enjoy being a mom, do you feel overwhelmed, are you working now? Do you miss your fun exciting career you used to enjoy? Do you miss being a social butterfly? You mentioned you got depressed after your first child. Is it possible you may've felt a little bit resentful of your additional responsibilities and no longer being able to do all the other things you used to enjoy? I could see how if you did feel that way, you might want to supress those feelings and then turn against yourself berating yourself for having them. Maybe I'm way off, but just a thought. I think you need to get to the root cause of what's going on in your life that is causing you to feel bad and once you can address those things one at a time, you won't need all these drugs. I am praying for you tonight. I am so sorry to hear you have suffered for so long with all of this, but just know that God has bigger plans for you and he will see you through this if you let him. Godspeed friend! (((Hugs)))

Don't beat yourself up! You're doing great and you'll be motivated again at some point. Just hang in there for right now. You are so strong by the way!!! I want to punch your psychiatrist.

Searchingsoul, I know what you mean. I find myself wishing I had motivation all the time! However, what I've found the most helpful for myself is to simply create a daily to do list the night before or morning of. If I don't make any list, I won't do anything. I'll just sit on the couch for hours playing on the internet and nothing gets done. Just thought I'd mention it as I know I have the same problem.

Does he act like he doesn't want to ever get married to anyone or just doesn't see a relationship with you? Sounds like you want more from a man and I don't blame you! You deserve to be with someone great and who can't wait to spend the rest of their life with you in my opinion. I think you have already made up your mind and are just having a hard time letting go. I had to do the same thing with my ex. I wish I could tell you I found the man of my dreams and I'm living happily ever after, but he just hasn't shown up yet. I know he's out there somewhere though. I haven't dated much in my sobriety, but I think it's because I'm so dang picky now. I'm just not willing to settle and put up with being mistreated the way I used to. It feels good to finally feel good about who I am today. I think God has something better in store for us down the road!

Ashley, so are you saying if your bf were to propose or talk about the possibility of a future together then you would stay? Have you guys ever discussed it?

EXERCISE! I promise you'll feel better.

Sebastian, So glad to here of your HUGE success! Seriously! That is awesome!! I think it is totally NORMAL to feel depressed right now. I mean adderall is a hard core stimulant with crazy mood altering enhancement capabilities. I would imagine you miss that. I'm wondering though...what else is going on in your life besides work? Do you have other activities you enjoy? Hanging out with friends? Groups? Maybe it would be helpful to start finding some fun things to do? Get some joy back into your life now that you are free. Maybe that would help with the depression.

Hi Dagny. Welcome to the forum! I'll be 34 in May. So I have questions for you. How long have you been taking adderall? How has it been working for you so far? What do dislike about it?

Kyle, Was there something in particular that happened this week? Honestly, I don't remember much other than be completely lethargic. I was on 3 different anti-depressants/mood stabilizers for @ 4 months. I was pretty out of it. But I do remember when I got off all the meds. My anxiety came back full swing and then I just started working out like crazy. For me the hardest part in recovery is handling my emotions. I stuffed them for so long that even now I am still just starting to get a handle on them and actually identifying them. For me, another big thing I noticed is that whenever I find myself getting annoyed with other people and life in general there is usually a deeper problem going on within me. Have you ever had those times in life when you were on top of the world? I know I have and when I'm in one of those really good spaces, I tend to love everyone and think life is awesome. I thought you'd been clean for awhile now? Or did you just recently quit?

All sounds delicious! Thanks for sharing. I may have to try some of these myself!

Hi, so in my humble opinion it sounds like you are conflicted. You originally started off taking adderall and then got into harder drugs. The drugs lead you into rehab. You got out of rehab and relapsed on heroin. However, you stopped the heroin, but now you are taking adderall again. I guess I am a little confused. Do you consider yourself sober now? Is that what you are asking us? Are you sober if you are taking adderall since the psychiatrist will write you a script? Is that what you mean? It sounds like you made a lot of progress by going to rehab and getting off heroin. That is a major accomplishment! If you continue to take adderall how do you think that will help you moving forward? How was it a problem in the past?

When are you done with school? Can you maybe just try and taper down slowly until finals are over and then quit? If I had to do it again, I would definitely make sure I had a good week I could be totally lethargic and not expected to do a damn thing.

I was like this last week. I am sorry to hear you are down. Are you sure there isn't anything bothering you emotionally?

Does anyone want to move to Denver, lol? I just found the coolest group ever and I want to pack up my bags and leave my life behind! Sober community of 6,000 people + fitness outdoors everyday free!!!! This is so awesome! http://www.phoenixmultisport.org/

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!

I've never heard your story. Wow, so glad you found your way out!

That is great! It will keep getting easier every time you flex that resistance muscle. Your juice sounds good and delicious!

Hi, Crayathur. I am sorry to hear you are struggling right now. I will say a prayer for you. You CAN do this my friend! Hugs, Liltex

That is so freaking awesome! I know what you mean. I am so happy for you!

So glad you like it, Ashley! Maybe you'll share your feedback with us??

Hey everyone! This is for anyone out there who is struggling with the idea of quitting an addiction. I wanted to share it because I know there are a lot of people that come to this board and are probably very ambivalent to the idea of change. I struggled with sobriety for a LONG time. I'm talking over 15 years of being back and forth. It wasn't until I found this tool that my sobriety finally stuck. Hope you find it as helpful as I did. I got it from Smart Recovery. Enjoy! Four Questions About My Addiction Using the CBA (Cost-Benefit Analysis Tool) 1.What do I enjoy about my addiction, what does it do for me (be specific)? List as many things as you can that you liked about whatever you are/were addicted to. a. Where possible, find alternative ways of achieving the same goals. b. Recognize positive thinking about the addiction as a potential relapse warning sign. c. Realize that there are some things you liked about the addiction you will have to learn to live without. d. List what you enjoy about your addiction so you can ask yourself if it is really worth the price. e. Realize that you aren't stupid; you did get something from your addiction. It just may not be working on your behalf anymore. 2. What do I hate about my addiction, what does it do to me (give specific examples)? List as many of the bad, undesirable results of your addiction as you can. Here it is extremely important that you use specific examples. Specific examples have much greater emotional impact and motivational force! a. Ask yourself honestly "If my addiction was a used car, would I pay this much for it?" b. Review this list often, especially if you are having a lot of positive, happy thoughts about all the great things your addiction did for you. 3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction? List what good things you think/fantasize will happen when you stop your addiction. a. This provides you with a list of goals to achieve and things to look forward to as a result of your new addiction free lifestyle. b. This list also helps you to reality test your expectations. If they are unrealistic, they can lead to a disappointment based relapse. 4. What do I think I won't like about giving up my addiction? List what you think you are going to hate, dread or merely dislike about living without your addiction. a. This list tells you what kinds of new coping skills, behaviors and lifestyle changes you need to develop in order to stay addiction free. b. It also serves as another relapse warning list. If all you think about is how much life sucks now that you are not doing your addiction, you are in a relapse thought pattern that is just as dangerous as only focusing on what you liked about your addiction. Notes This is not a do once and forget about it exercise. It is an ongoing project. Most people simply can't remember all of the positive and negative aspects of addiction and recovery at any one time. Furthermore, seeing all the negative consequences of addiction listed in one place is very powerful. On the positive side, no one really knows what they like or don't like about living free of their addiction until they have done so for some time. I know of people who continued to add items to all four questions for a full 6 months. See Also: CBA Worksheet

So glad you like it! I found it so helpful for all the times I really want to drink. I just look at the list of ALL the bad terrible things of my past and constantly remind myself that's the kind of bs I will fall back into if I start using again. I mean I literally dug up every bad incident I could possibly think of and wrote them down in black and white. I just try to imagine what my life will look like in the next 20 years if I continue living it the way I did the past 20 years and that makes it good enough reason to not want to use again. I find that my using brain wants to conveniently forget all the bad things when it wants to get messed up again so this little list is pretty helpful. Like your idea about posting it in the announcements section. I'll do that now. Did you make your list?

Waronwar, I am sober from everything..adderall being my number#1 addiction. This is probably not very bright to put this on a public forum, but sometimes I feel like the more honest I am about it..the more it helps me to stay clean. My previous using history kinda went like this: Pop adderall from the moment I wake up and take it every @ 3 hours and 40 mins Smoke @ a pack of cigs a day Get off work and drink / smoke pot every night till @ 3 -4am...wake up and repeat During times when adderall was not around...other drugs were substituted here and there.. Days off from work...mix of adderall to get chores done..then heavy partying as soon as work accomplished..ok I need to stop I am getting triggered.. Anyhow, I went to rehab and quit everything cold turkey. Quit smoking the day I went into the emergency room and been clean from everything for almost 28 months (besides one bender on alcohol and pot for 2 weeks last september). So that's the old cycle. It was nuts. I'm sure a lot of people on here can relate though. So did you visit the website? If so, what did you think?

Awe, quitonce...that makes me so to hear that! Love you guys!!

Hey everyone! This is for anyone out there who is struggling with the idea of quitting an addiction. I wanted to share it because I know there are a lot of people that come to this board and are probably very ambivalent to the idea of change. I struggled with sobriety for a LONG time. I'm talking over 15 years of being back and forth. It wasn't until I found this tool that my sobriety finally stuck. Hope you find it as helpful as I did. I got it from Smart Recovery. Enjoy! Four Questions About My Addiction Using the CBA (Cost-Benefit Analysis Tool) 1.What do I enjoy about my addiction, what does it do for me (be specific)? List as many things as you can that you liked about whatever you are/were addicted to. a. Where possible, find alternative ways of achieving the same goals. b. Recognize positive thinking about the addiction as a potential relapse warning sign. c. Realize that there are some things you liked about the addiction you will have to learn to live without. d. List what you enjoy about your addiction so you can ask yourself if it is really worth the price. e. Realize that you aren't stupid; you did get something from your addiction. It just may not be working on your behalf anymore. 2. What do I hate about my addiction, what does it do to me (give specific examples)? List as many of the bad, undesirable results of your addiction as you can. Here it is extremely important that you use specific examples. Specific examples have much greater emotional impact and motivational force! a. Ask yourself honestly "If my addiction was a used car, would I pay this much for it?" b. Review this list often, especially if you are having a lot of positive, happy thoughts about all the great things your addiction did for you. 3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction? List what good things you think/fantasize will happen when you stop your addiction. a. This provides you with a list of goals to achieve and things to look forward to as a result of your new addiction free lifestyle. b. This list also helps you to reality test your expectations. If they are unrealistic, they can lead to a disappointment based relapse. 4. What do I think I won't like about giving up my addiction? List what you think you are going to hate, dread or merely dislike about living without your addiction. a. This list tells you what kinds of new coping skills, behaviors and lifestyle changes you need to develop in order to stay addiction free. b. It also serves as another relapse warning list. If all you think about is how much life sucks now that you are not doing your addiction, you are in a relapse thought pattern that is just as dangerous as only focusing on what you liked about your addiction. Notes This is not a do once and forget about it exercise. It is an ongoing project. Most people simply can't remember all of the positive and negative aspects of addiction and recovery at any one time. Furthermore, seeing all the negative consequences of addiction listed in one place is very powerful. On the positive side, no one really knows what they like or don't like about living free of their addiction until they have done so for some time. I know of people who continued to add items to all four questions for a full 6 months. See Also: CBA Worksheet