ashley6

Yeah, you're so right. I've never been married, so I should probably stick to not giving marital advice:) Hang in there!

Quit-once, 2 years is a major accomplishment! You've been so helpful to me on this site. I like your straightforward approach, no sugar-coating, and I've learned so much from you. Congratulations! You've shown us that quitting once can be all that it takes!

MFA, Ouch. That must be really hard, because I know body image has been an ongoing struggle for you From what you've said about your husband in the past, he seems so supportive of you and like a really good man, so my first instinct was to bash him, but like lea said, maybe he doesn't understand the dynamics of addiction--preventing relapse, etc. I feel like a lot of people think we quit, and then that's all there is to it....I wish it was that way! I know those words are going to run through your mind, but hopefully talk to him and let him understand that he has his wife back now. I don't think he'd want it any other way. I've been slacking lately, but working out will get the feel-good chemicals going, and losing weight will just be the reward. Please don't think about turning back.

I will! We will do this again, and you got 5 miles down in one session....bam!

Ally, Good for you! Giving yourself permission to be a bum for awhile is so important. Good point, occasional. If you sleep most of the day away and don't shower.....then you're a normal person coming off of this potent pill. Sleeping, resting, being lazy is ok for a good while. Your body has to recuperate. You're staying strong and taking the advice of these great people who have been there....pat yourself on the back!

Dude, I don't know what's happened to me. I've done nothing in the past week, maybe two. I have to find my motivation again....or not...just get out there and do it. I can tell a difference in my energy levels and moods. I've been busy with work and a new relationship and have just slacked.....not ok, not ok at all. Good work!!! I WILL get it together again. Oh yeah, the treadmill is 100 times better, in my opinion.

My advice is get rid of it immediately. Once you've crossed the line into addiction, I don't believe the step down method can work. It takes a lot of time to recover, and if you take it, you're setting yourself back. The step down method would've never worked for me (I tried), because the pills controlled me, I didn't control the pills. I hope you choose to not take any. You've gone six days....keep it up!

Congrats on your final submission and 5 months adderall-free!!!

Cat, That's exactly what I did (read the horror stories about bentos). While being safe, maybe I should stay away from websites like that.

MFA, I thought the inevitable adderall dream would happen soon enough. Your interpretation of it was very interesting. I hope you woke up with a sense of relief after the sadness passed. Heck to the yes. 6 months!!! Very proud of you, my dear!

Being fearful of the days ahead is a completely natural feeling when quitting. It's a scary place to be, but it's a journey worth the pain and fear. It's great that you have a support system: counselor, NA, this site. Most of us here have been in that dark place, but now we see the other side and see it's worth it. It's not easy. I'd be lying if I said it was, but it's worth a more simple, happier life. For now, taking it a day at time is all you have to do. Best wishes and keep posting!

I went to get an evaluation for rehab, but it would've been an outpatient program for adderall. It seemed like a great place to get help, it was just really expensive, and that's when reality set in. I then quit on my own attending AA meetings here and there and seeing a substance abuse counselor once or twice a week during early recovery. I still see her once every two weeks, and she's been a godsend. If you search you will find the resources you need to help you with this quit, to deal with your health issues, addiction issues, etc. I think reaching out for help shows strength, not weakness. Keep me posted!

I have to agree with that title. I don't believe there's an easy way to quit adderall, but recognizing that patience is key makes it a heck of a lot more doable. In fact, I think patience is necessary in being successful when quitting, because it takes time to heal. Good for you for coming to that conclusion!

Oh dear. That's 9 more miles. Motivation! Good job!!!!

You make a good point about not being equipped. I don't even like the way klonopin makes me feel, but it is how I've dealt with the awful anxiety I experienced. Good for you getting of Ambien! Was Ambien withdrawal rough for you?

Cat, That's really interesting you said that, because my energy level was still so low even a year off of adderall. We've discussed it many times on here that klonopin could have a lot to do with it, but I was scared to get off. I've started to take less to test the theory, and my energy level has really started to improve. I wish I would've done this sooner in recovery but my anxiety was terrible, but it has made a difference, and I feel less blah throughout the day.

I don't think dwelling on the past is healthy but remembering what relapse does to you is worthwhile not to forget, therefore you're less likely to repeat it. I agree with quit-once. You haven't shared with us what led to relapsing. Some of our members who have relapsed on here have gotten great feedback on getting back on track. Unfortunately, there's just no quick fix, Kyle. Hang in there. It'll get better.

Welcome to the forum. It's not my place to judge whether someone else is an addict or not, but reread your post. You're taking your monthly dose in a week, you go on benders during that time, you "screech your tires," when it's time to get your prescription. The way you described how you felt when first taking it is exactly how I felt. I thought I could conquer the world, and this false sense of well-being and euphoria is what kept me going for 7 years...until it didn't anymore, and I knew I needed to change. I commend you for posting here, and it sounds like you know the answer to your own question. I also used to get by when I flew through my prescription for awhile until I didn't want to do that anymore, so then I started supporting my habit in other ways. I'm not trying to scare you, but I want to be pretty blunt, in that you're exhibiting lots of tell tale signs of addiction. How has this affected you socially, mentally, physically? How have your relationships been affected? The highs and lows of stimulant abuse don't lend themselves well to leading a simple, happy life. I know others will chime in. You've found the right place!

Haha. Great story with the smileys. And awesome job!!! I bet you've never been so proud of yourself. Congratulations....yaaay!!!

InRecovery, Maybe I should give a morning run a shot. Sounds peaceful.

Way to go!

I've become really close with a guy who's going through early recovery after going to rehab for alcohol. I have been reminded of how terrible and difficult early recovery is. I can see the unstable moods, the feeling of being lost, and just fighting the urges. It makes me so sad that he has to go through this, and at the same time so incredibly grateful for where I am. While I'm no expert, I do understand addiction, so it's been great that I can help someone feel not so alone and be able to share my experiences to possibly make a difference to him. In the end, we all know it's solely up to the person recovering, but there's something very therapeutic about connecting with someone on that level. I know we all find that here and that's why we keep coming back. It's also shown me that recovering from any addiction looks pretty much the same in terms of staying sober. Just wanted to share.

MFA, That's true, and you're right. To be honest with you, I don't know how I will give up smoking. Smoking kills, ages you and is just plain gross. I'd like to give the ecig a shot.

Great responses from all of you. This guilt has been weighing heavy on me, and I feel relieved hearing from all of you. I think I worry too much about what others define as recovery. This is my recovery, and if I ever thought it was risking my adderall recovery, I wouldn't drink, but I just, like a lot of you can't even compare the 2. Cassie, good point on the klonopin. Thank you all for great insight!

I'm just looking for some insight for all of you in recovery. I still see my counselor once every two weeks, and she is just pretty against me drinking in recovery. She says it doesn't mean I'll be an alcoholic, I just need to be careful. I have friends who are a part of AA and who say you aren't sober unless you're free from all substances...not in a judgmental way, just when I ask about it. I have a difficult time because I feel like having a few here and there could be bad for me. For me, I know I'm an adderall/ stimulant addict, and that will never change. With that being said, I have a couple drinks, and I'm done. I just have a sense of guilt sometimes when I do, I guess because of what I hear from others. What are your opinions on this? I know I've had this discussion on here before, but I don't remember where it is