ashley6

Way to go! See, this positive peer pressure thing really works. Now, if we can drag the others aboard. Enjoy your Survivor marathon. Well-deserved, dude!

Put in 5 miles today. Ran 3, walked 2. I could tell I was a little rusty. How about you, InRecovery or anyone else?

Freedom's Wings, Please let us know how you're doing. Day 1 is the first day of freedom again, right?

I'm glad you posted this, IR. When I go to the gym, I'm so happy with the progress I've made, but I need to keep up with my 12 miles!

The blueberry red bull is SO good.

I was just wondering the same thing and meant to post....Heather, how are you?

That was early for me. I didn't even feel like a normal human being until after about 6 months, but everyone is different.

Hi and welcome. You've come to the right place. I was never prescribed Vyvanse, but I took it when I lived the drug-chasing lifestyle. To me, it's a bit milder, but it's a stimulant, and it acts the same way adderall does in your body for the most part. I strongly believe from experience, took adderall for 7 years, and I'm a year and a month clean, that no prescription stimulant can be used when getting clean. Getting clean from these drugs means complete abstinence after you've crossed over into abusing/addiction. It's like an alcoholic trying to stop drinking so they switch from beer to wine. I feel for you and my heart goes out to you. Recovery is hard, but it's so worth getting yourself back: mind, spirit, and body. You're concerned about how long it will take to feel normal again without stimulants, I understand, and to tell you the brutal truth it's a long road, but the journey is so much better when you're actually living life again, and it's no longer dictated by speed. I never thought I could quit, ever, but I saw life passing me by, and you deserve to live life with the good and the bad. Keep posting on here. I'm sure you'll see how amazing the feedback is from everyone on this site, and you'll find that you aren't alone in this journey.

It totally sounded like me when I was taking adderall and in early recovery, so it makes sense that you would feel that way, Kyle. It sucks, but in time your mind and body even out. I could've been diagnosed bipolar, BPD, amongst many other diagnoses I'd bet when abusing, but things get better, and I'm not that way at all now.

Well said CTgirl. I completely agree with you and your thoughts on antidepressants. I just find adderall and antidepressants can't even be put into the same arena. I'm not saying everyone should take antidepressants, but for those who struggle with depression, like myself, and you in your quitting....they can be very helpful. After 3 or 4 months into quitting I was in the darkest of depression, which I knew a good portion of that came from quitting, but I knew it was deeper than that, and I felt like I couldn't get through the major slump I was in, because to me it was deep rooted. Starting an anti-depressant helped immensely, and I don't know if I could've continued my quit without getting a portion of my brain functioning....even just a little bit. I'm rambling here, but I thought your post was spot on. That's all

I can relate so much to your story. I'm also 28. Congrats on your quit and staying strong knowing that life really isn't life at all while abusing adderall. It's sounds like you have a high resolve and truly understand the power of your addiction, and those are two very, very important qualities for staying quit. Welcome to the boards...keep coming back!

Thanks for sharing. That was so well-written and profound....and so spot on. "You don't think about the larger things at all because you can't get past any of the smaller things." Right on. So much focus on how it makes you FEEL accomplished while letting go and numbing all the things that you care about and don't want to face. I wish that writer was a member on our site

Absolutely ldmcdaniel. Take it a day at a time, and if you were in the contemplation stage maybe it's time to cut off your access. It's risky business, but I'm glad you decided not to do it. Hang in there.

I don't know the answer to that...good question. I personally love red bull, and I have one in hand right now, but I don't even get much energy from them anymore. I look at it as a bad habit, and I get more energy from coffee than energy drinks. I think since we've had a stimulant addiction, energy drinks don't do for us what they do for other people...for me personally anyway. Yes, they're not good for you, but other than that, I just don't see it as a problem. Am I in denial over my energy drink addiction? Ha.

Good work, InRecovery. This was a test of your capabilities for sure, and you did it. Very proud of you, my friend . It stressed me out just reading all you had to do....ha. I bet you feel so accomplished (and sleep-deprived). You should reward yourself with something you enjoy when it's all said and done.

Kyle, I wish you would've shared that with us, so we could try to help. I'm glad you're back on track, and it sounds like getting away from access will be the best for you. How much longer until the military is all over with? We know each relapse takes is only an obstacle to getting well again, so doing whatever we can to prevent that is key. Sure you don't feel like sharing about it and what led up to it?

Someone pointed out to me last night that I was witty, and it was just a reminder of how much adderall took that away. I was the furthest thing away from witty when on adderall, and I guess this is on the same lines as sense of humor. I find positive things all the time that didn't exist on adderall. Anyone else notice this?

Thanks for sharing your story. It's scary that even people with textbook ADHD can get addicted. It's a different and really interesting perspective, since you don't crave what most of us do/did from the drug: euphoria, feeling like we could get shit done, etc....only normalcy. I'm glad you got yourself back on track....ADHD and all!

Quit once, I can relate to what you're saying so much. I'm amazed that pretty much everyone stuck around after I was a sketch ball for so long. People that care about us really tend to be forgiving. Glad you got to visit with friends and got your yard work done....very nice.

Kyle, I thought you had far over a month clean??

MFA, Any updates on your trip?

At least you came clean here. I think you're right about making a plan and getting a counselor who does not prescribe. Hopefully this was the wake up call you needed, so your kid can have mommy back and you can have you back.

InRecovery, 5 miles! Probably close to 2 walking, but still happy with it.

Noooo....I can't let myself slide on this because it makes it easier and easier to not go I have plenty of time, so there's no excuse, besides feeling down, and that's the worst excuse ever, because that's what I use the gym for....best release ever. I'm getting back on track....making a promise to you, so I'll do it! Way to go! Walking should count towards your 12, in my opinion....give yourself some credit P.S. I'm glad you posted this. I'm on my way to the gym. Thanks!

I was on adderall for 7 years also. My advice is to be easy on yourself for as long as it takes. Addiction doesn't happen overnight, so expect recovery to take awhile. Just know that the only way to recover is to go through it, so even if the days suck and seem like they drag on, know it will get better, and it's the only option to get back to being you again. It sounds like you know what to expect with some stints of being off of adderall. What will be the difference this time for you to not go back with some time under your belt? Figuring out why you went back after six months is very important to focus on, so you can learn from it and do different this time. Remembering the lowest of lows adderall brought you to will help you from romanticizing it in your head. I relate to you because I realized the same thing. I would never get married or be in a healthy relationship, because adderall made me a nut job. Now, I realize I'm not crazy at all, even laid-back and easy to get along with. Make recovery your number one priority above all else, because I personally believe it has to be. Stay close to this site full of amazing people who have gone through it all. It's worth it! Best wishes.