JustinW

Sometimes a synopsis ends up being long, in this case, you are trying to condense life into a blurb. It was an admirable effort. Are you currently Adderall free or just starting to plan your path to freedom? I wish you the best of luck in kicking this stuff and will cheer your progress along the way. It is not an easy row to plow but you can do it. As far as "heavy metal (and drums) make everything better", you forgot to include cow bell (hopefully I'm not aging myself). When your phone pisses you off check out http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com

So much in life is easier said than done; just remember that if you have a set back in following your plan don't beat yourself up about it. Pick yourself up and get back on track. Maybe I'm just projecting on you because I know that I am guilty of dropping a plan because I failed at one or multiple steps (i.e. my exterior projects at home). Then I end up in a downward spiral until I recognize the behaviour and make a new plan to correct my failed plan. Of course I also suffer from failure to launch syndrome too because the plan seems too insurmountable. That might not make any sense, if it doesn't, just ignore me. Today is not one of my bright shiny moments.

Way to go! It's not an easy step to admit that we have weaknesses and ask for help. I believe that you showed strong character in your moment of weakness. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Welcome to the forum Kori, I hope that your able to kick it for good this time. The best suggestion for replacement is diet and exercise from all of the experiences that I have read here. I remember the constant hunger for information intake that I had while on the drug and the obsessive behavior. It is nice to be able to relax and be yourself instead of being a self centered jerk. Best of luck to you quitting; it's not easy but worth it. We are all here to support each other, so feel free to vent, ask questions, or reach out.

50% success rate for Tuesday; I didn't get the door done. Hopefully that will happen on Thursday.

Doesn't sound like a club for me, I'm allergic to work. Seriously though, great idea! Saturday: Cleared our the wife's failed garden Repaired soffits that got blown out 2 years ago went to HD to pick up nails for soffits and some exterior paint nailed the soffits and cleaned up my tools took the kids swimming Sunday: played video games with the kids went grocery shopping for BTS Monday: stripped and painted 1 exterior door frame painted the garage door frames took care of some paperwork at the hangar went to my dad's BD party got rid of the final tree root in the garden moved the brush pile from Saturday's demolition played video games with the kids made dinner took the kids swimming prepped everything for BTS I guess I did get something done this weekend; the yard still looks like crap though. It's been too dry to mow the lawn, at least that's what I tell myself. Trying to find the balance between getting things done and spending time with the kids. I don't want them to miss out on the value of a good day's work and I don't want them to think that they are less important than anything else in my life. Tuesday: Get pool closing supplies @ pool store Strip and paint front door frame and threshold - keepin' it simple for the first day of the work week

Thank you for the inspiring original post. Post #9 shows that you have an excellent plan set up for yourself. "Plan your work and work the plan" was a favorite saying of one of my HS teachers. For natural sleep, you might consider melatonin. I haven't found it to be addictive; I just take it on occasion when I know I'm having a bad night. I don't like the sleep quality on Ambien anyways. Maybe a supplement like Energize could help you wean off the energy drinks without a huge crash? Best of luck and thanks for keeping us informed on your progress.

Welcome and congratulations on 5 months!

Lunax, Going back on Adderall made me realize how much I wanted to be off Adderall and gave me the strength to see it through this far. I hope that this will be a short period in your story and that you find the time and dedication to kick it for good sometime in the near future. Best of luck with all of the exciting events occurring in your life.

Congratulations on 1 year! I understand the lack of emotion as I have been dealing with much of the same feelings. For me, I didn't realize that I was that way until I started to go off the meds so I don't really know when it started for me. It takes time to heal that much emotional damage but I think that finding ways to make yourself vulnerable emotionally to those close to you little by little will help you grow back into the person that you want to be.

Everyone seems to come back at a different rate and different time; congratulations on the 9 months. Keep up the good work and things will get better. Participating here on bad days is a big help too.

My wife is on Lamictal and is a lot more stable because of it. If you need a mood stabilizer, don't beat yourself up because of that dependency. I don't believe it is a stimulant like Adderall but I could be wrong.

If you want to see an amazing person, look in the mirror. I have a lot of respect for your determination and honesty.

Every now and then it's good to have an old fashioned "Freak Out" http://youtu.be/ukMM-OqCc5k I hope you are feeling better; it sounds like you are still making progress in the right direction.

I'm coming up on 7 mos. in a week or so and I finally have had 2 days where I haven't hated / dreaded my job. I still don't have my motivation back, but at least it's not as much of a miserable existance and I am more productive lately. So my opinion is that it is a combination of coping and recovery. "Fake it 'til you make it" may be applicable to our situation? 90% recovered, 90% to go.

How are things going anniem20?

My heart goes out to you; I can hear the pain in your post but I cannot imagine the depths of it. We are here to help you through this difficult time. Please keep us updated on your journey so we can encourage you along the way. It sounds like you are making steps in the right direction.

Punch it in the throat, it is a lot more satisfying to see it on the ground writhing in pain and gasping for air.

The pills went in the trash last night! This morning I am glad to be at work otherwise I would be fishing them out. Why is this such a difficult hurdle?

When building a strong foundation all of the crap and chaff need to be ripped out then burned to ash and scorched earth; only then can true restoration start. If you are religious, the book of Nehemiah was a big encouragement to me when rebuilding got tough.

I have to give much respect to the single parents out there doing their best to be good parents. At some of my darker times, I just went home and hugged my kids; it helps. Keep up the good work.

East coast, Indiana, Minnesota, Western Canada, Texas, and back is one giant circle. We got your back.

Blesbro offered me a challenge to do the following in another thread: "I suggest writing down where you're at in your life right now. What's good about your life What do you really want to change about your life? It doesn't matter where you've been at one point in life because you need to focus on moving forward from where you are now. After 6 months, you should be physically recovered and it's just a mental game. Below that, write where you want to be in life. If life was ideal, and adderall didn't screw things up for you, where would you be? Then I suggest writing down a few goals that really excite you." I didn't want to take over their thread so I figured that I would put it here as a challenge and a reminder to myself of something that I need to do. I am not very good at introspection and I am somewhat locked into my job so I don't know what my answers will look like. I have had a copy of "Regenerative Breaking How To Slack Off Productively" printed out and taped to my desk that has helped me through some really tough days. Today I am taking it down because I feel that I have grown beyond the need for the visual reminder. The process is still extremely valuable to me. [baby Steps] I am still working on the "13 Milestones of Quitting" and I hope to attain #6 "complete your first big project without Adderall" both personally and professionally within the next month and a half. Both projects are a year in the making. I have not achieved 6 - 13 yet. I view my work life as a string of small projects (#4) to help me get through my day.

Congratulations on 2 months Jon! I feel your pain regarding getting rid of the pills. I thought about doing it last night and couldn't bring myself to do it. You would think that laying in bed with them 2 feet away that it would be a simple task just to pick them up and bring them to the bathroom but I just couldn't do it.

I know it's tough, but you can do it! You have so many good things going for you right now; focus on them. Keep fighting the good fight.