JustinW

Unfortunately, addictions tend to always be with us. It does get easier with time but the cravings can still remain. We tend to romanticize our time on the drug, but adderall is a liar. What do you think you miss about it? I can almost guarantee that if you are truly honest with yourself the answer to the question is a lie.

I've had manic spending moments before, but this one was not a manic moment. This one felt / feels like the pain of writing a $4000 check to put a new motor in my truck.

And just in case someone doesn't get the Melvin Smiley reference, see Mark Wahlberg in The Big Hit

Oh crap, I guess the road to healing has to be paved with honesty. No I cannot return it. The whole thing started this spring when my father-in-law was selling a rifle with a nicer scope than mine so he swapped the two scopes as the difference between the two on the secondary market would have been negligable. I gladly accepted the offer but didn't get a chance to shoot the gun until late this summer. I couldn't get the thing sighted in after shooting more than 20 rounds. I had to make it back up to the range thus my need to go up North for the weekend, which you may have noticed me bitching about in another thread. I put another 30 rounds through the gun and could not get the thing sighted in so I decided to go to the gun shop and purchase a new set of mounts because my father-in-law said that the mounts on the gun were garbage. This seemed reasonable so we went to the shop. When the gun smith removed the old mounts one of the mounting screws was snapped in half making me think that there were some problems afoot. With the new mounts in place the gun smith was unable to get things bore sighted so immediately everyone starts saying the gun is the problem. This seems reasonable because the gun was an entry level gun. During this whole thing I kept saying that it didn't make any sense because my old scope was able to be sighted in, in fact I was quite successful over the years with the combination. At this point my father-in-law asks how much they will give me in trade for my old gun and the process starts fitting the old scope on the new gun. Low and behold the old scope is found out to be the issue. I had already filled out the paperwork, so what the hell, I guess I'll buy a new scope to use until Nikon can replace the old one. My friend offers to buy the new scope from me after I get the old one back. The adderall me would have insisted on proximate cause and had a new scope fitted to my old gun; I just let everyone bowl over me and I panicked because of my upcoming hunting trip. So I spent money that I didn't want to spend on a gun that I didn't need to buy and I feel like crap about it, plus I had to try to explain it to my wife and I couldn't because there was no good reason to do it.

Nice!

So time to put together the list for the week: find coolant leak on truck scheduled service for Friday I still need to mow my lawn at home project for work (currently @ 50% 60% 90%) pool closing activities clean part of the garage (I'm going to try attacking it in small bites. Maybe that'll be more successful?)

Unsurprised

That's it, I'm making bracelets for everyone that say "WWYD"!

I hope that your girl will be more understanding and helpful than you are saying. You need to be honest with everyone that is close to you in your life. It's not an easy path but you are on the road to destruction right now. I didn't have the full support of my wife at first but she eventually saw the light when I started to turn back into my old self. Do you really want a girl that doesn't love the real you? With your heavy usage you really need to involve a pdoc to help you manage things as you quit. Things could get really sketchy for you. I don't think it's safe for you to try to go through this without a really good support network.

Even if he didn't cheer for you; we all are!

The brain fog eventually starts to clear. I just passed 7 mos. and I would say that I am at about 80 - 85% more clear than I was at the densest time. You are at a difficult part in the quit where the progress isn't as significant as it was in the beginning but it is still there whether you see it or not. Hang on and things will get better!

OK, I had a bad experience this weekend. I got rushed, panicked, and peer pressured into buying something that my Adderall self would not have purchased; or at least I would have been in control of the purchase. I have been upset about it ever since it happened on Saturday and I can't seem to shake it. Before Adderall I was always a pushover but I wasn't when I was on it because I was a jerk. So now I am feeling down because I felt that I have regressed and now have no spine. OTOH, someone got blustery with me at work on Friday and I didn't take their crap so maybe I'm not a complete loss? Thanks for listening.

For your weekend: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uocIWTer-w

or both

How did your week go Occasional01? I am going to vent a little bit because I'm just pissed off right now. I went flying on Wednesday night and the conditions were sooo crappy that we couldn't finish everything that I need to go over before I can take my final exam. My instructor's schedule completely sucks; I have been trying to finish up since July and I only get 1 or 2 appointments a month and the conditions have be absolute garbage for the last two lessons; almost makes me want to quit flying and my confidence is really shaken. Then I've got to get the pool closed. The guy at the pool store told me that I should keep it open for a little while longer and I foolishly listened. Now it's too cold to get it cleaned really well before closing it. I would close it this weekend but somehow I got roped in to going up North and I can't get out of that. Everything on my "to do" list at work completely sucks and I'm tired because I had to work late last night. Off to answer another email to a fellow employee who doesn't pay attention to the information I gave them yesterday and wants an update. Thanks for listening. Time to start putting together my list for next week I guess.

Luca

That's heresy to a Canadian, isn't it?

ornery

Thankfully the FAA is anti-amphetamine

Alcohol is a depressant, so I guess the question becomes "how strong are you right now?" becuase you will get some level of a depressing effect from drinking. OTOH, I had 2 drinks last night when I went out so I would be a hypochrite to say much else.

tired

break a leg!

Sounds like things are going really well for you, way to go!

jazzhands

I actually convinced my brother to pick the crap up himself; but situation taken care of regardless! Weekly lists are a double edged sword; they can be overwhelming if you don't attack them in small bites.