JustinW

What Cassie said is exactly on point. I had been putting together a similiar response in my head for the past couple of hours but she covered it perfectly. What do you really want out of life? What are your priorities? This brought an old comedy routine to mind: Person A: "Aren't you worried about losing your job?" Person B: "No, I was looking for one when I found this one"

Awake - unfortunately

Yes, it is. Have you worked on your plan for quitting yet? It doesn't need to have dates at this point but it might help you feel better making steps in the right direction. It sounds like you may be abusing again, if so, have you told your friend and fiancé the truth?

Happy Birthday Zerokewl, hopefully it has been a good day for you!

Best of luck to you! I need my antihistamines but I'll cheer for you on the journey.

I'm glad to hear that you got it figured out! What does almond milk taste like?

Fake it till you make it!!! I understand about having remnants of things from my Adderall life that create more work for me today. I got rid of one this weekend; we all need to simplify every now and again. Especially those of us who can get so easily overwhelmed.

Everything in moderation my friend, even hippie crap.

Thanks for bringing up this movie. I watched it this weekend and I had forgotten how good it was.

Yoga is awesome!

I know the feeling OC-1 I finally got to the front door on Saturday and did a complete hack job on it, got paint everywhere. I was using flat white so it probably won't turn out too bad. I had a case of the f--kits I tore down my hot tub on Saturday and helped load it on to his trailer; I was sad to see it go but I need to simplify my life because I get sooooo easily overwhelmed right now. If only I could ditch the pool. My to do list for this week: Survive the nasty heat today Find someone to move a shed that was given to me Get my last 2 hours of flight training complete (got to fly but not done yet) Get copies of hunting licenses to my outfitter Bring hot tub supplies to work so my brother can pick them up (my memory is so bad lately) Mow the lawn (we are finally getting rain!) - still drought conditions I'd like to finish staining the playset but I don't know - I guess it will wait Sight in my rifle At some point I need to clean my garage and workshop, find someone to do some minor landscaping, and get back to my hobby (building a plane). I have to start making time for the gym too. Putting it all down in writing just bummed me out. Now it is here in front of everyone so I will hopefully be more accountable.

My better work was done in the night hours after the Adderall wore off. What kind of coding do you do?

I was thinking this morning as I was checking in to see how my fellow travelers are doing that it would be neat to have a topic where we could just come and post a single word about our current mood or attitude. Feel free to follow up with an explanation if necessary. I'll start this morning with: "orange" - I don't know why but it just resonates with me today

Kori, How are you doing? I hope well. P.S. Love the updated signature.

Congratulations! It took me over 6 mos. to get to the point where I was able to get rid of my pills.

You are in a cycle of putting yourself through the worst weeks of withdrawl; no wonder you are feeling so crappy. I've put myself through it twice and that was miserable. It sounds like you keep torturing yourself and then beat yourself up because you are having a tough time coping. I hope that you break this because these swings are bad for you physically and mentally.

Good luck Jon, it sounds like you are making some great positive steps!

My stomach issues have really gotten worse in the past couple of months, time to start cutting out things until I stop having to have Tums every 2 hours. I have 2 issues, acid reflux and some sort of problem digesting certain foods like milk, things with heavy tomatoes, and maybe garlic?

I remember it being a good movie, but I'm having a hard time recalling the whole thing (it's 9 years old after all). I think I might try to watch it again this weekend.

Are you doing better today?

I loooove sleep!

Waronwar, We are all here to support and encourage you. I hope that you will be successful with your plan.

Self control is a difficult thing. We all struggle with many personality deficiencies that allow our addictions to creep back into our lives. Even the smallest unrelated event or exposure can lead us back down the dark road that we so desperately want and need to avoid. Once we are on that track our brain is saying "stop this nonsense, don't do it" but our body WANTS to be gratified so bad that we start to desire our own personal poison. So, how do we do it? Focus on the current battle, not previous defeats; but keep your eyes on the goal. If you feel temptation starting to move in, recognize it and identify the triggers. Once you get to that level of self awareness, you can start to insulate yourself from those things. We don't have the strength to resist the temptations in the beginning when we are weak. Start to face the problems once you are strong enough. Until then, run the other direction! It sounds like you are taking action to identify and remove the triggers. Keep up the good work. I know that you've figured it out, but don't stop writing.

Good luck with day 1, 2, 3, 4,... You can do it but it is going to be really difficult. You need to be honest with your supplier and tell them not to let you buy it anymore; until you break that connection it doesn't sound like you will be successful. Some of the best advice that was given to me was to make a list of what I hated about Adderall and a list of what I liked about myself off Adderall. I keep these on my person at all times to give me strength. Welcome to the forum, hopefully you will use us as a resource to help your quit. The articles on this site provide a lot of encouragement so read through them as many times as you can. You will probably find something that you missed each time; I know I do.

I don't know what to say other than my heart goes out to you. It sounds like you are in a lot of pain over this situation. I also commend your honesty about your addiction. Hopefully you will get some clarity on the best time for you to quit. When you set your mind to it I am sure that you will be successful.