idonttan

I have no doubt that your slip up will actually be extremely comforting and relatable to a lot of people. I myself have dug myself out of that Adderall hole so many times and for such long periods of time, only to then find myself back in it, several times. The fact that you've owned up to the mistake and vowed to learn from it, already shows a lot of growth. We live in a world where there are just so many poisons available all around us, that it's not always easy to say no and not let the idea of taking them overwhelm you. The important thing is to always get back up. Hang in there, we're all in this together!

Your day was terrible, so come take this and feel better! Just take it today, and then use the weekend to detox/quit You're putting on weight, time to start using again! Got work to do? You know you can't complete it sober!

Well, welcome to this site. We all gotta start somewhere

I've never been pregnant, but please do not worry about the weight gain! My mother, along with other females, have all told me that once they started breastfeeding, they were burning off calories like a mad person. The good news about starting a new job is that you're a lot more motivated to get work done and impress your boss/co-workers, than at a job that you've been doing for years. I'm very glad to hear that you're not even considering taking it while pregnant. All these prescriptions are bound to have a negative impact on the development of your child. Congrats on your progress so far! If you've managed to move this far forward, you can keep going!

I used to wake up frequently in the middle of the night, almost gasping for air as well, and this was before I started adderall. I had so much stress in my life that I couldn't even sleep peacefully at night. Are you currently under any stress or pressure? Once you work to eliminate or at least decrease that, then it'll get easier to sleep at night, from my experience.

I can relate. When I first started using and then later abusing, I hid it from 98% of the people that I was close with. A lot of those people still don't know that I've once used this drug. I've also relapsed several times, even after admitting my addiction and sobriety to some people, but I haven't shared my relapses to them, for fear of disappointment and my own personal shame. I don't go for counseling and I still keep the struggle to myself. Perhaps this isn't a healthy thing to do, but this site and others success stories have helped me a lot, and I've managed to maintain a sense of sobriety, even if I've relapsed frequently. For me, exercise and journaling and self reflection have helped me tremendously. The point is, I've also used and I've also managed to recover by not disclosing this to many people. It is doable, maybe not advisable by all people but you're not alone in your situation, and it is possible to get sober again.

Hey guys, I've been having a very rough time lately, staying focused and trying to stop romanticizing my former Adderall use. Despite my 3 month sobriety from it, my job is becoming extremely stressful and tiring, on top of me being an already lazy person, that I keep trying to reason with myself about taking some every now and then.. for just this day, or for just this week or month. But I know that is a horrific relapse waiting to happen again, and I do not want to deal with the lack of energy and the increase in appetite again, especially at a time when there are no vacation days coming up. So I decided to come on here and hear what helps to keep you guys motivated and away from that junk pill? I think this kind of thread might have been started already.. but maybe it wouldn't hurt to start another one, again? For me, one of the biggest motivators was the severe hair loss and dandruff that I experienced, which made me wonder if I will be completely bald in a few years, if I continued taking this stuff. Also exercise had always been my go-to stress reliever, but when taking Adderall, I barely had any energy to exercise and lost all muscle, endurance and strengthen. I also stopped caring about other people completely, and this caused me to get into a lot of fights, both in my personal and work life. Let me know what helps to keep you guys clean, I can really use some words of wisdom right now.

Finally saw the movie. While it was triggering, his hallucinations/break downs during the come off did remind me about why I quit.. But the movie still glamorized the drug, still made it seem appealing despite all its side effects, considering the ending that it had. I'm sorry, but what the hell was that? Not to spoil anything, but it was like: hey, you almost die repeatedly from this pill, but keep taking it because you're superman and can avoid the ultimatum. The acting was great but the overall meaning of the movie lacked morality.

Day 90 people!! I thought I was going to feel so much more relieved and happier by now, but with crazy days at work, my focus and energy is just shot, but at least I'm not on speed! Hoping I can make it to my next goal: 100 days clean. I haven't lasted this long since February, so it feels nice to regain my dedication again.

Day 84. Getting closer to that 90 day mark, yet I daydream about starting adderall again constantly. Argh.

Sounds like you might want to talk to a counselor about this. I personally don't think that 2-3 glasses of wine is hazardous to begin with, but you know yourself better than I do.

Miscounted and I'm on 76 days now. I'm starting to feel really happy over nothing lately, just simple old memories that once made me laugh. I guess this is pretty significant, as on adderall, I ironically felt like I couldn't enjoy anything without the pill, even though I was an emotional sensitive mess while on it.

I agree with AlwaysAwesome. I'm not trying to be an a'hole, but at 2.5mg, do you feel anything? Tapering worked temporarily for me because quitting cold turkey was too hard with a full-time job& school, so I tapered as well, until I reached a certain low dosage, which was so low that it made me relapse because it reminded me of the high that I missed. Eventually, quitting it altogether was what saved me. Let caffeine become your best friend, and turn to exercise to lessen those intense feelings of cravings and anxiety.

70 days! Hooray! I miss this stuff everyday, yet I don't miss seeing my hair fall out of my scalp on an hourly basis. And I sure as hell don't miss the teeth grinding either.

Are you exercising by any chance? I never got swollen ankles during my abuse days, but I did get severe pains all over my legs, including ticks and numbness. Once I stopped the adderall, the ticks continued but I've noticed that with time and exercise, the blood circulation has helped to put my body at a more physical ease.

Day 66.. The struggle is f'ing real. A very stressful day at work, then an even more stressful day when I opened my fridge once I got home. Argh. Today is just one of those days.

I think you should also keep in mind that you are at the age where it's normal to feel sad and anxious, for no particular reason at all. This is part of growing up, you feel waves of emotions, with or without the adderall. Getting off this drug is good in the sense that it will help to keep you more stablized and less manic and upset. All the damage that was done by adderall is reversible, it just takes time for everything to heal. In the meantime, you should work on your anxiousness by finding ways to relax and calm yourself. Do some yoga, spend time at the beach, etc. I hope I've helped.

Day 57, hooray. My eating is still not as spectular as I was hoping it would be, but hey, one day at a time like usual. The best diet advice I've heard was from a super skinny ballerina who basically said that she doesn't allow herself to overeat, and she tries to constantly stay busy and keep moving, so that she doesn't eat out of boredom. Of course that's easier said than done, but it's still a nice reminder that we are all in the struggle to improve our weight and figure, and it doesn't come easy to most.

Day 54.. Feeling miserable today after eating too much and wanting to go back on it so badly.. But hey, 54 consecutive days after multiple quitting attempts is not worth it, to lose some weight.

On one hand I shouldn't be giving you advice as I myself have quit and relapsed for the 90th time it seems, but on the other hand I already completed my bachelors degree a few years ago. All I can tell you is that it's important you just get through it and not start taking that stuff again because then you're going to find more reasons as for why you should keep taking adderall even after you finish school. College won't be the end of your stresses, only the beginning. Consider the internships, the jobs, the job interviews, and applying for them all, on top of then the stress of completing the job that you will eventually get hired for. If you start taking adderall again, then you're going to continue to fool your mind and body into thinking that you can't function without that stuff. But if you at least manage to get through the midterm portion of your semester, or just writing that 1 paper without the adderall boost, even if it's only a 2 page paper, then you've already boosted your confidence about your capabilities, enough to make you believe and understand that sobriety is worth it. The biggest challenge that I found about college was handling the stress of it all, and especially during senior year, when you give absolute no f**** because well it's senior year lol If you set deadlines for yourself, create a schedule and find alternatives to releasing stress (yoga, meditation, even playing video games), then you won't be cured but you'll at least feel a bit more relieved than you did before. Anyway I hope what I've said has made sense for you. I wish you all the best. 77 days is an amazing accomplishment and you should be very proud of yourself for that.

Exercise is what helped to keep me sober, especially in the first few weeks. Every time I felt like I was going insane from the withdrawal and was on the verge of relapsing, I went outside for a long walk. While it didn't curb my craving and moodiness completely, it did put me more at ease. The only way to start exercising is to just force yourself to do it. There's no other alternative. Maybe load up on caffeine beforehand, that helped me a lot too. Also I've found that weight gain is inevitable. It's part of the recovery process but it's also possible to retrain your body and mind and eventually start eating healthier and start losing the weight. A lot of people on here have talked about this before too.

I think this issue that you're having isn't so much about adderall but rather just about trying to find the motivation to get things done. Life isn't always simple, and what has helped to keep me sober is remembering that I felt super shitty at work long before I ever started to take adderall. The fact is, these are questions you have to find the answers to yourself. Others can share their stories and experiences but I think what might help you the most is meditating on this for sometime and really analyzing the situation from all points of view. Exactly why are you feeling unsatisfied? Is it because you're truly in a field you don't belong in or you're just having a rough couple of days/weeks/months, etc

I personally don't believe in "gateway" drugs, I think we all just have a preference for what kind of high we like, and therefore go searching for it. Although I took adderall for fun as a teenager, it was actually xanax that led me to take adderall eventually as an adult. Xanax made me tired and want to take naps, while I liked being buzzed and energetic instead. In the beginning stages of quitting adderall, I strongly considered going on Wellbutrin or something to ease the detox pain but I'm glad I stayed clear from it.

Maybe a 100 day/365 day challenge should be made next?

I only took adderall for a year but I lost 20-30 lbs while on it, and I am now 40 days clean from it yet I still haven't gained control of my eating. It seems like the first month of detox was so much easier and I ate so much less. Now I'm snacking all damn day and can feel the weight adding on. I just needed to vent this frustration because compared to others, I used for shorter duration yet it seems like my ability to just get to a healthier version of myself is taking far longer than expected and leaving me very frustrated with this never ending hunger/ still eating even when full.