Freedom's Wings
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Posts posted by Freedom's Wings
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Hola!
Hello there gangoholics! Logging on to attack the scoreboard and wish everyone a great weekend! Here's to you and yours
I hope all is well! I've been running around a lot the last couple days. I am finally stationary and with internet service! Yay me! 
Furthermore, I just want to congratulate everyone on their continued success! Keep striving. Happy Day 39 Lunax! You're putting up some big numbers these days my friend! Cheers to your success on day 19 LL! Soon you'll be legal enough to have a drink or 2. not too many though
. Also, I just wanted to make a comment about an earlier post regarding laughter, I know right! The laughter is so authentic, it almost makes me feel like a kid again. Makes my heart smile. I never thought something once seemingly so automatic that it's often taken for granted, would actually turn out to be so precious. But, I'm getting the funny feeling that such is life.
Guess it's like they say, turns out it's the little things that mean the most eh...And, last but never least, Day 27: CONFIRMEDDDD!!!!!! !
Toodles for now my beloveds, i'm headed off to the grocery store to get some real food; if i eat one more freakin Reese's buttercup, I'm going to turn into a cocoa puff! Smoochez
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When I say its day 26 im not talking pop singers! Got lots to say, no time to say it, sooooo just wanted to make sure I got in the stats:
Day 26: CONFIRMED!!
Chat soon mi lovelies!
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When I see all of your faces I am forever overjoyed! Greetings LL, Lunax! Today has been a pretty laid back day. I am a touch tired but otherwise in very good spirits. Earlier, while looking in the mirror I had this kind of but not so strange experience. I was looking at myself and thinking, hey I like me. I havent felt that feeling in quite some time and the weird thing about it is, I noticed that I was really looking at ME, accepting Myself. Just as I am. Though the moment was fleeting, I just thought Id share.
I can not thank you guys(gals) enough for ur support! Each and Everyone of you. It means more than words can say!
And now for today's announcements!
Lunax, you my friend are smoking this thing! I am soooooo very proud of you.
Ive read many times on this site that It gets worse before it gets better. well you my buddy o pal are making this thing look like a cakewalk. Addy has never been a match against the true you. Keep moving forward and kicking ass!
Tx for the weLL wishes
LL, Always a pleasure! You know...I worry about you..lol, funny right seeing as I've been a total wreck lately. But have no fear, im in it to win it! And you I would like to congratulate on being 17 days clean and sobs. Congrats! Stay strong and Keep comin' back!
And you...Fw I hear that's the moniker youve been going by these days, unlike the norm as of late, you actually did something right!
And..With no further ado I'd like to own it like its mine. DAY 25: CONFIRMEDDDD!
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Ok Day 25...Lets do this!
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Never a good time to quit.. amirite?- I absolutely concur!
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@ Cassie
Yep! That's pretty much my plan, to stay off the addy for at least a year, then I will be able to better access this whole narco situation. I refuse to give the docs that much power over me again. So, I still have not accepted it as truth, esp with my recent past behaviors (addy).
oh....I'm not going anywhere, no matters what happens! i'm here for the long haul....until I am sure I have fully conquered this horrible horrible thing. So, you guys will be getting the dish. I can't post like i'd like right now because my net is down, so right now i'm at a friends house trying to get it all in. lol.
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FW,
Have you ever done Bikram yoga? (or any hot yoga). I first started taking Adderall for 'excessive daytime sleepiness' too, and when I tried to quit multiple times the fatigue was always a relapse trigger. It wasn't until I got serious about diet and exercise changes that I was able to push through. I did Bikram yoga 2-3 times per week for the first 6 months off Adderall, and ate mostly vegetarian, no fast food or sweets, etc. Also walked 20-30 minutes per day. Anyway, the intense yoga regimen was what really helped me get my energy back.
I had convinced myself that I had borderline narcolepsy before Adderall, but the truth is there was always something holistic I could do to improve my diet, fitness, sleep, anxiety, etc., and after Adderall I did it. I noticed from your profile that we're the same age. I feel a lot more energy now than I did when I was in my mid-20s - our bodies and hormones and worldviews change and you might feel (with some sustained time off Adderall) that you feel way better than you did before. I think you really need to give it a year to start to feel these permanent energy changes though, otherwise you will keep relapsing at 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, etc. Why don't you commit to staying off Adderall for a year? - make it the 365 day challenge
Salve Cassie,
Lol, I have never heard of Bikram yogo, let alone tried it. It does sound interesting however. At this point, I'm willing to try almost anything! It's really hard with the exhaustion to get an exercise, walking regimen going right now. But I am giving it a go. and that is my long term plan. Today I jogged on the treadmill for 30 minutes, then I damn near capsized and passed out on my bed. but hey, I got thru the workout.
I know I have to work on my diet. I actually haven't binged much this attempt around at quitting. I think it's because I'm really trying to "mindfully" make lasting changes...Also, abusing addy totally screwed my digestive system to hell! I am always bloated and/ or have that uncomfortable even nauseous tummy feeling. I hope this too regulates as time passes.
It's kind of cra lol. I think to myself here recently....Wow... although I never intended to find myself here, and have never been a druggie, I have really done a number on myself this time. And I have otherwise tried some crazy shit in my 30 years on this earth,; but this takes the cake.... sheesh....Anywhoooo I am committed to this quit! I need to see/ become who and what I was/am meant to be. I mean, hell if nothing else, I owe myself that much.
Also, I'm glad to hear that your energy has actually powered up since! I hope this happens for me as well. One question, how much were you taking (addy) and for how long??
I was on it for approx 7 years; the first 3 years I took it as prescribed; the latter I abused it insanely! I would stay up for days straight. I consistently took 100- 120mg's daily; sometimes I would get as high as 160mgs, til I ran out. Then, I'd wait two weeks and pick up a new script. ....
Ciao4now. Be Well!
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I think when I go in for my appointment in two weeks, I will tell the dr. I wanna wing it for now. Currently, this is where my strength lies. What you guys are also unaware of is that I have been diagnosed as narcoleptic by three dr's. I went to 3 different docs because I didn't believe it myself. And I don't have "sleeping spells," although what I do experience feels pretty damn close. Each time, Each dr. preformed a sleep study and provided the same result.
So...as I was already being prescribed addy for adHd, in addition to this, Im prescribed addy for narcolepsy! This makes it especially difficult for me to abstain, because even if I just accept adHd as a part of me, which I am more than willing and ready to do, the narcolepsy is not so much an easy diagnoses to "wing," if you will....
I have tried a non stimulant for the narco but it does nothing. Thus, on top of the drain from not taking addy, the daytime sleepiness is doubly exhausting and erratic. This is what drove me to the doc the other day. I literally could bearly stand up at work, let alone from a coherent sentence..
My hope is that i'm not narcoleptic and addy just has my internal clock all screwy and that with time, lifestyle and behavioral changes my overall health ie narcolepsy, will reflect these changes...
Stay tuned; that's all I got for now gang...**Currently, My internet is off so I have to use my phone to type/ post. SO sorry for all the wacky spelling..
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Ciao my lovelies,
I did it! Each day is a celebration! Im off of work today; so I have been able to relax! But this morning i decided I would workout. And, so I did. The burn made me crash hard. For I slept the next three hours away. My plan was to read.But hey, you cant win em all. Now im up completing some paperwork and soon ill be headed to my belovededs for a bit of down time, if you call posting items to ebay for sale downtime that it. So with no further ado,
Day 24: CONFIRMED!!!! High praises
@Lunax you're amazing, thanks for ckecking up on me and YES! Once again I received slumber!
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Lol @ rotational cooling unit. SomeOne has that quippy comedy I heart so much! Here's looking at you Justin. #Lmao
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Kylevl! Post up stats?? Hru??
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You guys are sooooooo amazing! Today was great in comparison to the last couple of days anyway. Just getting home from work. Yes! l made it thru the entire shift, running solely on sheer will and two cups of coffee!
Remembering this is not a linear process helps a lot when I begin to lose hope. Right now anyway I am sooooooooooo glad I did not 'relapse' .
I can do this!!
Fw
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Congrats on day 34 Lunax is a "she." Lol. Tx. Added you as a friend as well:-)
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@ Lunax I have received SLEEP! The melatonin really helped. Thank God. I was about to lose it. Never appreciated sleep this much in all my life! Thank you guys,Justin, on your continued support! Keep it comin :-)
I am committed to this! I can do this!
Day 23: CONFIRMED!
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That is awesome news Lunax as you are as much a part of this as I am! I think you just gave me renewed faith! Yes! I am commited to this!
Oh these battles..We shall overCome. :-)
As far as the insomina, i just had some calm tea, and took a melatonin!
Lets hope this does the trick. :-D
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On another note the three comments left today by Occasional, Ashley, and Justin are so right on time its not even funny! Thank you team! Omg..you have kmow Idea.
And justin when I make it, Im gonna turn up the volume and sing until my freakin' lung collapses and dedicate the song to you.
Once again, thank you sooooooo much guys. Be Well!
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The only way to describe to is to say that it has truly been a bitch! Pardon my French!
Last night, I got absolutely NO sleep and this is the second time this week I actually had to just completely leave work due to extreme exhaustion. At this rate I wont be employed for long..
We are entering very dangerous waters my friends...I almost went and got another perscription for addy but didnt. And by that I mean I went to the docs office but he was gone for the day.
Still, I am determined to weather this storm, but this insomnia must end! Please people...any suggestions??? I slept the entire day away and lost a days pay, also did I mention THIS IS MY 2ND time doing this...in a WeEk! And I gotta be at work at 8 a.m.
Suffice it to say im not feeling so chummy at the moment. Thank you for your well wishes. I have never been so real and raw in my entire life! I sure hope this thread serves to help someOne else! I want people to know exactly what I am going through day by day. Even when I appear to be backsliding and With any luck it will be my savior as well.
Presently, with no bragging in sight, i can only add that I feel truly blessed to have another day clean!
Day 22: CONFIRMED!!!!!!!
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@ Lunax Are you doing a 60 day??
@ LL It's beautiful to hear from you! yes, please stay in the loop, I received your inbox as well. Thank you for keeping us updated. I'm glad you are doing so well! Toodlez 4 now, Not forever. Til next time Be Well!
Day 21...Yay! " I'm legal enough to drink, but wont be!!
DAY21: CONFIRMED!!!!!
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Tracy are weclomed aboard "The 30 day challenge" if you'd like. Be WeLl!
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Motivation follows action, you deserve a grand kudos, everyone one your posts come alive and I am able to take away from it. I hope you have your own respect as well because you are super awesome.:-) Also, I love your moniker! Yay
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Sounds like a grand time indeed. lol. How are you feeling Lunax??
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Day 2o: Confirmed!!!!!
I can't believe how fast I'm moving through this thing. God SpeeD ; - }
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Salve!
It's celebration time!
How do you feel?? YOu did it! Congrats to you. Now you take a moment to pat yourself on the back. 30 straight is a great accomplishment at any phase of the game and especially the quite elusive first 30!
Being that I have not made it there yet, and fight the same fight as you,along with the congrats and support you will continue to receive on this site, I do have a few other suggestions for you.
I think today/ This weekend would be a good time for you to reflect on this accomplishment by treating yourself to something nice, maybe a meal, a trip to the movies, buy a new hat, etc...
For It is in these small ventures that not only do we look back on for reflection but that also we find has made us who we are to become. So take a moment to yourself to take stock of things,.the day, your life, this accomplishment and celebrate.
If you have someone in your life, perhaps your fiance, let her know you have completed your first 30. Treat yourself and take her along as well as a thankyou for her continued show of support. If she's open, willing to ask her of any changes,esp positive shes noticed in this last 30 days.
Perhaps you may even take 10/15 minutes this weekend to write yourself a short letter of any positive changes you may have noticed and maybe describe
In bullet point style 3 things you'd like to accomplish in this next 30 days. These don't have to be monumental tasks, they can be, but just to begin the conversation with yourself regarding the direction you would like to see yourself taking at least gets the "inner dialogue'" churning again.
As I believe it was Ashley that said in an earlier post on this thread, the take it day by day mentality is so important for us, I really think it is important that you celebrate, mark this day and every 30 after. Congrats!! You did it.
60 day challenge anyone??
Be well Lunax, I am indeed hoping And honored to trail as well as trudge along the 60 day challenge with you my friend. Shall you roll out La rouge carpet??
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THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE!!
in Tell your story
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No ...thank you Jus. It's almost like even when I'm not logged on, I can quietly hear you rooting in my corner! You are greatly appreciated my friend!