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Doge
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Posts posted by Doge
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You rock! pizza bagels sound delicious. what show are you into on netflix?
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just surface cleaned lol. but a drawer/cabinet clean would be something to shoot for too. Maybe I'll allow a week or so for that to happen. laundry is getting done tonight though i swear
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welcome back and glad to hear you stopped taking the stimulant if you didnt feel like it was right for you.
yes i find that even if I drift away from this site for a few days the cravings return.
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made it through the kitchen and bathroom, both spotless then I burnt out before I got to the laundry. gotta save something to procrastinate
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First night without speed. Romantic Comidies are making me cry. But in a good way. Also: I forgot how good pizza is. You guys are awesome! Grateful for this forum!
the wire season 4 made me cry like a baby during early recovery, i remember feeling like the experience had a profound impact on me
it's probably just a lot of built up emotion and stress that has been supressed for such a long time, maybe just finding an outlet through empathizing with characters in a TV show makes it all gush forth like a waterfall, idk just speculating
TV/food escapism is truly a gift during recovery
and you are awesome too!
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happy birthday zerokewl!!!!!!!
still a long way to 40. don't rush it!
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no easy feat
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actually today im blasting tune and going on a ballistic cleaning spree on my apartment
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I'm so happy for you. I hope these first few days go as smoothly as possible for you. Sauna and treadmill is a great idea. Motivation to go there won't come easy but it will sure make you feel a hell of a lot better once you do it.
I was digging through your paragraph and looking for a key detail that seems to be crucial to the success of quitting. This is the closest I found:Called my prescribing doctor and left a voicmail saying I wouldn't be coming back.
I have to say, this sounds a bit like a half-measure. Did you actually tell him/her you are addicted and want to be cut off permanently? What is to stop you from changing your mind in a few months when the craving/romanticization hits?
I'm saying this because I personally decided to quit so many times, often making it a couple of months clean, only to change my mind and go back to the pills. Refusing to tell the truth and the whole truth delayed my recovery by an entire year.
Now is the time to close this door permanently, while your resolve is strong.
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Congrats MJ!!!! go hit that sauna!!!
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just saw the picture with sunglasses and lost my shit couldn't resist lol
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Yup it's me. I'm sneaky.
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For some reason the 6 month milestone drifted by and I didn't care too much or even notice but my 7 month is a big deal and I was anxiously counting down to it for the past few days.
Once again I owe this site and everyone on it a huge thank you for helping me so much with my recovery. Without you guys I know I would have become desperate enough and would surely have found a way to get drugs whether it be adderall or something worse.
Thanks also for putting up with my weird name changes. But seriously what other forum actually lets you do that? Gotta take advantage since the option is available right?
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Take a break and blast one of your favorite songs you used to love but haven't listened to in forever.
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Many people fail to integrate self-improving behaviour into their lives because they cannot overcome psychological hurdles and are easily distracted by copious amounts of bullshit.
This. Me. Every God damned day.
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really happy to hear you've made that choice. don't let yourself back down between now and then. once the first few days of agony subside it will be really easy to talk yourself out of confessing the truth. remind yourself constantly and keep your resolve
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binging harder just for the sake of getting rid of the pills is a bad idea. I don't really know what to tell you..... if you're looking for endorsement or approval for having one last hurrah, I can't in good conscience give it to you. Overdoses do happen
But if you do decide to do it, make sure to notice how unremarkable it is.
looking back on my binges of the past, any one of them could have been the time my heart finally stopped, as much as I didn't want to think about it at the time.
PLEASE DONT DO SOMETHING UNSAFE
I'd much rather see you delay your quitting date by a day than fly into an double adderall frenzy with the misguided intention of getting clean "faster".
ultimately it's your choice, looking forward to meeting the clean you
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Man life on your campus sounds like an addicts dream.... sorry to hear it's so hard. Maybe a lifestyle change would help, circle of friends etc.
This is something I'm working on myself: though it has nothing to do with adderall recovery but just life in general.http://illimitablemen.com/2014/04/13/monk-mode/
PS - to any women seeing this, It's clearly written for men but no reason it can't apply to women as well obviously
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When I finally reached out and admitted I am hooked and killing myself (to my doctor/supplier) the immense relief I felt was matched only by the incredulity I experienced at how simple and final it really was.
Don't kid yourself into thinking the matter is complicated. One phone call to your doctor can set you *PERMANENTLY* on the path to a new life. The longer you wait the worse it'll be. But I'm sure I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.
I wish you the best.-
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reminds me of the game pipe dream for windows 3.1
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And informing the Dr. who prescibed these things.. At this point, I am unwilling to do that. And yes, it is because I have a reservation to use adderrall again. The only safe measure would be to inform every single doctor in, and out of, my state.
It sounds like you know what you need to do. I recommend scrap the idea of a study stash. Any stash you leave behind is just a trail of gasoline you leave behind when you walk away. Taking a single pill for any purpose you can justify is like lighting a match. The flames instantly catch up to you and your addiction is roaring again, no matter how long you stayed clean.
Plan your quit date, and just make sure it's all gone by then, stash and all. And tell your doctor. Do you really want to go through this again after being 8 years clean? That must be so painful I can feel it from here.
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Wheeee!!!!
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I'm glad you decided to quit again. It's no way to live. I'm sorry that you are feeling sad but we both know that will take time to heal. Hope you got some good snacks and at least a few days off to lounge around.
So let's talk about your plan to prevent another relapse. Did you cut off your supply?
EDIT: Just went back and read your older posts. Looks like you were over two years clean. That is an amazing accomplishment. It must hurt to have to restart that difficult climb, but at least you know what to expect.
Encouragement needed.
in General Discussion
Posted
the fact that you are here and trying to remember rather than just chasing the script is a testament to how strong you have become in the last 16 months. you definitely don't want to throw all that away. a single pill of adderall will sweep through like a tidal wave and almost immediately destroy what you have built. The person you were before you finally quit for good, that person that you despised, the person that the adderall turned you into, will come soaring back within 20 minutes. but by then you probably won't care, because thats the effect it has. it lets you watch your whole world burn and crash into nothing, while you shrug it off like its happening to someone else.
for the alive and awake brain feeling:
clean diet, vitaminD3, fishoil twice a day, exercise, and a good nights sleep is the way to go!
It's the harder way to achieve the result but it feels so much better in the long run!