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Dear QA Friends, Eighteen months ago today, on 2-22-2022, I had the most epic downfall of my life. As I was being presented on stage at a sales kickoff event for work in Las Vegas, I was tweaking out of my mind and drifted into hallucinations of things that still, to this day, I cannot conceive possible. I hit the hardest rock bottom of my life and lost my job. It was the most tragic thing that happened to me as I loved my job more than any job I had ever known, and I worked around the clock for 18 months straight. I was a president's club winner, received a promotion, and worked on multiple projects for this company. My epic $838,000 sale was presented on stage at sales kickoff, but I had spiraled so far out of control with alcohol and concerta I lost everything. I was unemployed for 8 months. I could not find a job. It was god awful. I went from being the company's star to what felt like the world's biggest loser. Today, 18 months later, I am happy to say life is good again. I am engaged to a lovely man who has two small children and I will become a stepmom next spring. I sold my condo, and we are building a brand new amazing dream home, which we will move into this November. I have three jobs today. I am now working for my dad's company and have begun a new career in finance. I also work for a triathlon company with my fiance and get to serve athletes at racing events all over Ohio. Last but not least, we are eloping to Maui, HI, in May, running a half marathon on my birthday, and then getting married on the beach at sunset. It's all on my birthday (the day we got engaged) last year. I also work at a retail store for discounts and fun. I have restored my relationship with my family members and have a total new life. I also just completed Ironman Louisville 70.3 this past Sunday. It was epic. I mention all these things to give hope to anyone out there who is struggling to find their way out of addiction to Adderall and or any ADHD medication, amongst other drugs. I've had addiction issues since I was 13 years old, and I am now 45. It is never too late. It's amazing looking back at how much changed in just 18 months. It makes me wonder where I will be 18 months from today as long as I continue to stay clean and sober. The one different thing is this. time around I began taking Naltrexone which has been a God send. It eliminated my cravings for all drugs and alcohol. I do no want any of it, and I don't even attend meetings. The desire is not there, so I'm good. Not that meetings can't be helpful; having a support group is great. I just don't have time for one at this point in my life I have so many things going on. However, my fiance doesn't drink with me and supports me 100%, which is truly the most remarkable and incredible thing that has helped me. We do a lot of road races and keep ourselves busy with all kinds of fun activities. I don't even miss my old, wild, crazy days. I am happy with the simple things in life, like taking road trips, spending time with family and friends, etc. Please don't hesitate to post your story if you come here lurking around and need help. We want to help you. Secrets will keep you stuck. Please share your story and open up the doors of your soul to those of us who have found our way out of hell. The flip side is a much happier place. Peace, love, and joy to all. Love, Liltex41 P.S. I've had this dream for over 10 years that one day I will write a novel, and it will be called... Cheers to another chapter written, lol.

Tomorrow it will be two years since I’ve taken adderall!!! Woohoo. Wow crazy. Just posting in case anyone is looking for encouragement. I was on adderal for about 10 years daily use about 40 mg a day.. it got so bad I would take it sometimes before I would get out of bed and wait until it kicked it. I was highly dependent on it and would be panicking if I had to go to work without it. Life seemed to revolve around when I would get refills and when I would take the medicine. It got to a point where I would use something as simple as doing the dishes for an excuse to take it. My mental health was terrible.. bad social anxiety.. no exercise, cholesterol and blood pressure were rising. I’m pretty sure adderal had a part in giving me thyroid disease but it could have been the massive stress I was under. Two main things pushed me to quit finally.. one was the adderal shortage started and it was harder to get refills and two I realized that my sleepless nights that occurred very often were very bad for me. There were many nights I would get two hours of sleep.. averaged like 5 hours a night and would take Benadryl every night just to sleep. im happy to report things are going awesome!! I’m killing it at my job.. im doing way better than I ever did on adderal, making more money. My cholesterol and blood pressure are normal and i sleep great. I also work out now 3 times a week which I never made time for before when all I wanted to do was clean and do work. It wasn’t easy it was one of the hardest things I ever did but it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

@LILTEX41I'm so happy for you. You made it back into the zone! I'm so sorry to hear about your fur baby's brain tumor. They really do leave us too soon. I wish we could give them some of our years. I'm glad you added new kittens to your family. They are so helpful with healing the broken heart.

Hi QA fam!! I was on here a few years back, but sadly, after 3 years of hard recovery, I decided that I wanted to dance with the devil once more. I went back on 10 mg for 2.5 years and sure enough, my life began unraveling. My relationship with my husband became distant. I wasn’t sleeping well. My friends began to distance themselves from me. My days were filled with chaos. I was angry and anxious all the time. I lost the 20 lbs that inspired me to return to the meds but after a few years I had gained it all back and then some. I knew it wasn’t the answer but I was caught in the trap and wasn’t sure if I would ever have the strength to return to my unmedicated authentic self. Then a miracle happened. I got pregnant. Something I didn’t think my body was capable of. I went off the following day and haven’t been back. Next week I will be celebrating my sons 1 year birthday. My first recovery was my “woe is me” recovery. I blamed everything on my lack of medicine. I focused on what I “couldn’t” do. This go around it has been different. It has been empowering. My relationships are blooming. My husband and I are stronger than ever. I wake up happy. I am a great mother. For the first time ever, I am proud of myself. I was put on amphetamines as a teen. Now at 38 I have finally met myself as an adult. This is the best version of myself, I’m never letting go of it.

One month for me too, this was really inspiring. How are you doing now that even more time has passed?

It’s been one full month off of stimulants. Tracking how I feel and what’s changed. My energy and motivation is still quite low. I’ve been drinking far too much caffeine and using l-tyrosine, but overall I don’t feel my energy levels are quite back to where I’d hoped they’d be. I almost always feel like I need an afternoon nap, which is not something I have time to do every day. That being said, sleep is amazing. I love sleeping. I slept so little when I was abusing stimulants, it’s really spectacular to be resting again. My job performance hasn’t suffered, which has taken me by surprise. Although focus does require a little more effort, I don’t feel I’ve become worse at my job. That’s been a huge relief. My clothes are tight and I feel/look very bloated. I wish I didn’t care, but I am a dancer and part time Pilates teacher so I see my body in tight clothes in giant mirrors for hours every day. I so deeply wish I didn’t care. I’m considering starting the horribly lame and tedious task of counting calories. It’s so helpful to hear and learn from others with more experience in this process. If you have anything to share or offer I would truly appreciate it.

Hey all, I've been on this site for 6.5 years and have read many horrible stories about adderall addiction and also some amazing success stories. As you can see I've posted on this forum over 1000 times. I've been clean since Nov 13, 2010. And here is the collective wisdom I've gathered from people who successfully beat adderall addiction on this site. Just as background I used to snort 250 mgs a day, was in and out of rehab and outpatient therapy. I had constant stimulant induced schizophrenia. 1) CUT OFF YOUR DOCTOR - this is how the successful people on this site quit. Period. Cut off your doctor. I havent come across a single person that still had access to adderall prescriptions from their doc and was able to just quit. 2) UNDERSTAND WHY YOU GOT ADDICTED ... and why you feel like shit without it. Adderall causes your brain to retain more of the neurotransmitter dopamine between the synapses or nerve endings in your brain. This artificial surplus of dopamine is what causes you to feel more motivated, the brain stops regulating dopamine on it's own properly. Your body begins to adapt to the repeated dosing of a central nervous system stimulant, causing dependence, until eventually life seems much worse without adderall. Over time, as your natural dopamine reuptake process is consistently disrupted, the body produces less and less dopamine. If the adderall is then withdrawn, the body has neither its own dopamine nor an artificial surplus of dopamine between the the brain receptors - thus the horror of withdrawal. 3. DON'T PUT PRESSURE ON YOURSELF when you quit...Stop trying to be the perfect mom, or the superstar at work, the super thin person, the social butterfly. As for working, decide if you are able to continue working or not.. I did not work for TWO + YEARS. I just spent those years on my moms couch reading recovery books, going to NA and sticking close to this site.. I had that luxury to live at home at not work (no kids to support etc) Afterwords, with help from members of this site, I fought my way back into a career...from interning at a shoe store without pay to volunteering for a couple bucks an hour to working in a college admin office for 200 bucks a month. If you don't feel like you can afford to stop working, do not try to be a superstar at work. Go through the motions, just like the author does in "Get it Done when your depressed" 4.UNDERSTAND PAWS there are many, many resources on post acute withdrawal system. Just google it. Your brain will go through PAWS. This will help you understand the depression, fatigue and all those horrible feelings that make adderall recovery horrific. https://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm 5. TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME It takes forever to feel normal again, but you get to a point where you no longer think about it anymore. 6. YOU WILL NOT BE FAT FOREVER As long as you put in discipline and willpower. After the post weight gain you will get back to normal weight. I went to 250lbs immediately post adderall and now I'm normal and thin again. Most people on this site can attest to the same. 7. STAY CLOSE TO THE FORUMS. Don't lurk here. Be engaged with the community. Helping others also helps yourself too. And keeping this place active helps everyone on this site. No one judges you on this site. There are many tools/resources/information here that can REALLY help you. Many veterans here have gone on to give interviews for national magazines and television programs about what happened to them. 8. SUPPLEMENTS that people on this site that people have found effective include: Wellbutrin and L-Tyrosine. Don't even consider swapping to Vyvance, Ritalin, or Dex. They are the same as addearll. 9. UNDERSTAND THAT THIS PROCESS TAKES FOREVER AND A DAY. It took me years and years and i still struggle. For others who were on much lower dosages than me, it still takes at least year but not as long as it did for me. As a rule of thumb, every year you abused, you need an additional year to recover. You will feel unmotivated. You will be starving all the time. You will be tired. But you are in the norm. Adderall recovery may often feel very specific to you but it is not. We all go through this or are going through this. 10. READ and read and read to educate yourself on what has happened to you - "On Speed" has been the most popular book for this site. Other books, "Get it Done When Your Depressed" "Pill Head", "More, Now, Again" , "The Amphetamine Debate" to name a few. Read the article on Richard Fees suicide that was in the NY Times. The link is below 11. WRITE DOWN all reasons why adderall messed up your life. If you ever want to start taking adderall again - READ the list and you will remember about those horrific nights 3 am on an empty stomach and feeling like complete shit. Or you'll remember the scariness of getting caught doctor shopping or you'll remember getting fired, or you'll remember the stimulant induced psychosis that made people think you were schizophrenic. 12. ALCOHOL/CAFFEINE RULE OF THUMB Most recovering adderall addicts still allow themselves to drink alcohol. This is taboo in Narcotics Anonymous but adderall veterans continue to drink without having problems. Many on here have relied on caffeine and redbull to help them. I used those high energy drinks like Rockstar and Monster. I indulge in alchohol as well. 13. GOING COLD TURKEY did not destroy anyone's brain or give them permanent brain damage. I believe xanax can do that but not adderall. Go cold turkey. 14. READ OLDER POSTS While you are on this site, read everything here bc there is tons of great advice on threads that have gotten buried. Remember this site has been active for at least 7 or 8 years so there's a lot of good information on these threads. 15. RELATIONSHIPS - Explain to the people closest to you what happened so they can better understand. Tell them how it messed up the neurochemicals in your brain. Apologize to them. Tell them it will never happen again. Assure them you are in the clear. 16. AT FIRST IT MAY SEEM EASY but it's not. In order to level set your expectations I can tell you it completely sucks. You may go through a brief phase where it seems easy and then suddenly it hits you like a brick. 16b. RECOVERY IS NOT A LINEAR PROCESS. Withdrawal symptoms hit in waves. Sometimes you will have really off days, and you can blame that on the PAWS. Some days you'll feel fine. Embrace the days you feel fine. 17. DEFEAT THE PYSCHOLOGICAL PART OF THE ADDICTION. If you are here, adderall has become a crutch in your life and taken a toll on your confidence to do things without it. Get off your feet and start doing things that you relied on adderall to get you through them. If you are as bad as me you prob relied on adderall for everything. Each time you do something without adderall you start to say "hey I dont need adderall to do this" and your confidence begins to build. 18. STREAM AND BINGEWATCH TV As you recover from withdrawal, Netflix, Hulu and Amazon prime are a godsend. They help you forget about how shitty you feel for the moments you are engrossed in your favorite shows. I have fond memories of bingewatching netflix shows as i went through the hell of withdrawal. 19. When you feel ready FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT. to get your life back into shape. I fought my ass off after I finally got off my moms couch. A lot of adderall veterans on this site would definitely remember my experience because i was on here every day, documenting every moment of my job search, my job hunt, my worries/insecurities and I got so much support and advice from this amazing community to push forward. After interning in a shoe store for no money, feeling like i was getting no where, I went back to school graduated and fought for a good job. My newly non-adderall addicted self began making over 6 figures a year. 've gotten a raise every year over the last three years and was able to give my mom 20K for not just the heartache tears and pain I caused her but to show my gratitude for her taking care of me while I recovered, and for letting me live on her couch for two years and put no pressure on me to do anything but read books. 20. ADDERALL CAUSES YOU TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN YOUR MIND ONLY. Go back and read a paper that you wrote while on adderall. You probably thought it was incredible. Now go back and re-read it. Was it really that great?? When i was in my adderall haze the success was in my grandiose thinking, in my feeling of invincibility, of being able to conquer anything but not in my reality!!! Stop romanticizing the good times when you were on adderall - they weren't that great. Realize you still have a real future to fight for. You do not want to be that person you once were, where you needed adderall to feel successful. You want to be able to feel successful because of your own merits, not because of adderall. 20. THIS ONE IS WORTH REPEATING - You will not be FAT forever once you quit!!!! There have been many threads on this and the consensus is that it GOES away as long as you try. That means it'll go away after your hunger period ends, but domake sure your consuming fewer calories than you burn or go vegeterian or whatever - exercise your willpower. 21. HELP YOUR RECOVERY ALONG. If you can afford rehab or your insurance covers rehab. Rehab helps. NA/AA meetings can help. Get an NA sponsor. Also, eating healthier, exercising, mediation etc are all things that will help. What doesn't help? being too hungry, angry, lonely, and tired. Smart Recovery has also helped people on this site kick the addiction http://www.smartrecovery.org/resources/toolchest.htm 22. DONT BUY INTO THE CULTURAL ACCEPTANCE OF ADDERALL -believing that makes it much harder to quit. I generally believe in my heart that ADD is a bullshit diagnosis. I can get scatterbrained and exhibit symptoms of what people consider to be ADD but I do not believe ADD is real. I believe adderall will help anyone who doesn't have ADD. I believe lots of people get scatterbrained. This mentality - and I truly believe it - has helped because believing in my heart and mind that I don't have ADD, that ADD is a bullshit diagnosis gives me zero reason to even consider taking it. Adderall used to be prescribed for depression in the 70s before the ADD diagnosis even came along. It was always a pill in search of a problem. 23 THERE IS LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL It truly does get better. Your life can come together. It has to start by following these guidelines 24 YOUR PERSONALITY WILL COME BACK Whether adderall made you anti social or robotic or some nut that obsessed with unimportant thing like wasting hours reading wikipedia all day or working on project that went absolutely nowhere..you will come back to your old self. 25 YOUR HEALTH WILL COME BACK Whether it gave you health problems from clenched teeth and sleep deprivation, anxiety, or depression from when the pill wore off, or high blood pressure...your health eventually comes back. WANT TO FAIL? Based on the hundreds of posts on this site it seems that most people who don't follow these guidelines end up relapsing. So draw on the past COLLECTIVE experiences of this long lasting forum and follow the guidelines that works. We know it works. It's that simple Visit these links for a wakeup call http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/03/us/concerns-about-adhd-practices-and-amphetamine-addiction.html http://abcnews.go.com/Health/adderall-rise-mothers/story?id=16622475 http://www.self.com/wellness/health/2013/03/adderall-the-get-ahead-drug Links to Good Recovery Books 1) On Speed - Traces the history of America's obsession with amphetamines; dexadrine, ritalin, adderall etc... 2) Amphetamine Debate - Goes into the consequences of stimulant abuse, psychosis particularly with adderall and ritalin.. 3) More, Now and Again - Memoir of a Writer's Addiction to Ritalin... 4) Requiem for a Dream - One of the stories subplots is a woman who gets hooked on amphetamines.. 5) Get it Done When Your depressed THAT'S all I can think of - there are tons of veterans on this site right now and its so awesome to see you all here continuing to post and help the newer people. Please chime in if I'm missing something not covered or if there is a tip you disagree with.

@JSS4321I swear I could have written this post with a couple minor changes. I am unsure if you still ever get on here, but I was wondering how things ended up for you. I know this was written back in 2017, but I am currently in the thick of it. We are in the middle of the divorce process. Everything you wrote is almost the exact same situation for me. Did your husband ever get off adderall?

I’ve been prescribed adderall since march of 2023. It seemed positive at first. I obtained my drivers license and I bought a car to do Uber eats. That was working for quite a while. I stopped going to college because I decided at the time, that is was not for me. But suddenly I started to decline when my psychiatrist prescribed Zoloft. Zoloft and adderall do not mix. I spent my savings and racked up three thousand dollars in credit card debt from affirm, buying shit like game consoles, AirPods for christmas and heaters, etc. I stopped Zoloft, and adderall fucked my life up In a single month i said I don’t want any more adderall. I was put on Ritalin but that shit only made be high and tired. I crashed my car because of that. Luckily I was not on a trip for uber. Stimulants have destroyed my life. Taking these medications everyday is not for me anymore.

Yes but it takes time.. lots of it. Trust the process. You can do it!! It will take a few months to start feeling normal again. I’ve been off it completely for 2.5 years and I’m back to my old self never to touch that junk again.

This website inspired me to quit. I asked my doctor to cancel my prescription.

I seriously hope you are ok. You deserve to be ok ❤️ it’s not worth what you are going through! As I tell more and more people about my journey they are so supportive. You just have to ask for help. Sending you good vibes, prayers and love your way!

Hi QA Friends, I am so excited to report that today, I have been clean for 21 months! I am so grateful that I've made it this far beyond my wildest dreams. I was so far gone 21 months ago it makes me cringe. I have had so many life changes in the past 6 months. I sold my condo, started a new job at my dad's company, moved into my fiancé's house for 4.5 months, and we just recently moved into this glorious new home. My future stepchildren will live with us part-time. I had to put my kitty down a month ago, and it was devasting. She had a brain tumor. I was so sad I went out and got two new ragdoll kittens, the cutest things on earth. Anyhow, with so much going on, I realized I need to get back to meetings, or I am in a dangerous place, as when life gets good, I tend to relapse. I just want to tell anyone struggling with this addiction to please not give up. Life is so much easier without the volatile ups and downs of the binge/recover cycle of Adderall abuse. Do whatever it takes to find your way out! Godspeed my friends! Liltex

Dear Hopefully, I am so happy to hear I've inspired someone out there! This makes my heart smile beyond words! <3 Please let me know how the Naltrexone goes!! It is incredibly cheap and sometimes even free with insurance!! It's the most beautiful thing that's ever happened to me. I was so horribly hooked on alcohol, kratom, and concerta. I never thought I wouldn't struggle to want those things, but I never think about them. It's miraculous!! As far as marathoning, omg, yes, get it!! Are you running now and working towards the marathon goal? I am more than happy to share my favorite training plans and anything I can to help you. Crossing that finish line is one of the most epic feelings ever! You will love it!! And yes, I can't suggest running enough for post-adderall recovery. It's a life saver! Feel free to message me anytime and keep us posted on your training and kicking that last 10mg. You got this!! Love, LilTex

Ps- I look forward to reading your novel one day!!!

Dear Liltex41, You are beyond impressive and inspiring! I am so happy for you and truly love reading about your happiness. You clearly have an incredible work ethic as well. I have been following you for some time as I struggle to get off my last 10mgs. Thank you for the reminders and continued inspiration. Thank you for taking the time out of your full life to come back here and help those of us who are still trying to get clean. For some reason I always imagined that you were in your 20s or early 30s because of your energy. I am going to ask my doctor about Naltrexone as I too have always struggled with ADHD and addiction in some way or another since I was 14. I am continuing to try do the inner work which I hope will help me get where you are but plan to ramp it up once my kids are back in school in the fall. I dream of running a marathon adderall free and you have more than accomplished that! Wishing you continued success and happiness!! Will take allll of the other tips regarding nutrition, running gels, etc as I recently looked into those to see if they would help with post adderall recovery I’m so sensitive to caffeine and other supplements even on my off addy days and I am trying to find something to replace it that won’t ramp up my anxiety Thank you again!!!

I promise you will continue to improve drastically, but it takes time and it is not linear. That is, some weeks might feel much worse than the week before. But overall you will notice an upward trend for years to come. As far as needing the energy earlier in the day, I sympathize. Maybe changing your sleep patterns would help? I know this is easier said than done, but melatonin helps a tonne in case you haven't tried it before. And HELL YEA on 2 months -- you ROCK. Let us know when the day hits so we can celebrate it together!

@quit-once I can't believe I never put two and two together regarding your nickname here. I love it so much!!! It's PERFECT!

Today's my 8th day off 60-100mg daily. Still feeling a bit of brain fog and lack of motivation of course. However supplements have made a night and day difference! I've been taking the following: Morning- Vitamin B complex, Nordic fish oil, 1000mg Vit C, 1000mg L-Tyrosine, 1000mg DLPA, Mucuna Pruriens, NAC and some days Alpha gpc. Night- Magnesium Glycinate 400mg, Glycine 3000mg when needed for sleep, fish oil, Vit C 1000mg and L-Theanine. The Mucuna and Alpha GPC should not be taken long term. They are best used once or twice a week under normal circumstances. These supplements have helped tremendously with motivation and sleep. I've been able to exercise daily since my 3rd day off. Eating much better and am excited for the future at times. I've tried this without supplements many times. Anything I can do to help restore my brain to its natural state I will do. Any other recommendations would be great! Glad to be apart of this community.

This is a great reminder of a solid truth about any addiction recovery: the relapse always happens in your mind before you ever get your hands on the substance. Therefore, it should be avoidable until the moment you take the drug again. But, it doesn't always work that way. If I ever start to entertain thoughts of using something again, I try really hard to change the channel and not dwell on that fantasy, because it could become a reality. Practicing thought control. I credit my many years of yoga practice for helping to channel away the harmful thoughts. I have also started doing chakra meditation during the last two years, which is great for channeling your thoughts to where they are needed. I'm glad your relapse was relatively brief and mostly harmless, and that you learned a valuable lesson.

I found this online in another forum a while ago and recovered it recently. I've put it in the announcements because it feels more like a "sticky" than a discussion doc or question or personal tale. I found it really accurate. Hope it's helpful. Stage 1 of Amphetamine Use - During this stage, amphetamine will be at its hedonic peak; the pleasure of taking amphetamine will not get any higher from this point on. The most notable feelings are a "lovey" feeling, powerful euphoria, increased motivation, deep philosophical thinking, strong feelings of "lust", etc. Length of phase: 1-3 days with binge usage; 5-10 days with daily usage; About 5-15 uses total if used sparingly with atleast several days inbetween doses. Characteristic Effects of this Stage: - Powerful euphoria - Empathy and socialability - Overwhelming amount of increased motivation Stage 2 of Amphetamine Use - During this stage, the "lovey" and empathetic feelings of amphetamine quickly fade, although the "pleasurable" feelings of euphoria and increased motivation are still present. The decrease in empathetic feelings is likely responsible from a depletion of serotonergic vesicles. Most users note that it is impossible to transition back to "Stage 1" at this point, no matter how long of a break a person takes from amphetamine. This suggests that a permanent tolerance develops for the empathetic effects of the drug - whether this occurs from a psychological acclimation to the effects, or from physiological reasons, I don't know. This is the stage which doctors aim for when prescribing amphetamine for medicinal use with ADD and ADHD. This stage can be prolonged for quite some time (and if the dose is low enough, some medical professionals say that this phase can be prolonged indefinitely) this is assuming of course that the user continuously maintains an adequate amount of high quality sleep (7+ hours a night), proper nutrition, and a non-sedentary lifestyle. Length of Stage: 1-7 days with binge usage (note that binge usage is defined by immediately taking another dose once the effects of one dose wear off or begin to wear off, interrupting sleep in the process). 2 Weeks to 6+ Months if used daily (and maintaining a healthy lifestyle). Indefinitely if used sparingly (with 3-5+ days inbetween uses). Characteristic Effects of this Stage: - Increased Motivation - Slight Euphoria Stage 3 of Amphetamine Use, the "Tool" phase - At this point, most if not all empathetic effects of usage have diminished. This point is characterized by the fact that amphetamine becomes the sole motivator for tasks, hence the nickname "The Tool Phase" because amphetamine is now used as a Tool for accomplishment. The negative physiological effects (the "body load") become more prominent. Length of Stage: At this point, it is hard to define the length it will take to transition from one stage to the next. Some users will find that if they take breaks from their usage or just lower their dose, they can go backwards to earlier stages. Some binge users may even rapidly progress through the stages, possibly even skipping to the final ones or developing psychosis. Characteristic Effects of this stage: - Period of 'positive effects' and period of 'negative effects' from taking a dose begin to merge. (usually, if negative effects are present they only follow after the positive effects wear off) - The user needs amphetamine to stay at/above a baseline level of motivation, and when amphetamine is not in effect the user is below a baseline level of motivation. -In order for a task to be done effeciently, the user finds that they need to be on amphetamine. - The level of euphoria decreases to a point where it is no more significant than the level of euphoria which most people get from daily life without amphetamine. Stage 4 of Amphetamine Use, "The Decline" - The efficiency of amphetamine as a "Tool" begins to drop significantly, and this stage is characterized by the "comedown" (the period of negative effects after the drug begins to wear off) becoming much stronger. The "comedown" may even begin to merge in with the period of positive effects. At this point, the body load may begin to become painful. Characteristic Effects of this Stage: - Painful body load (Muscle Pain, High Blood Pressure, Inadequate Circulation, Dehydration, Malnutrition, deterioration of the skin and other tissues, etc). - Depression - Severe Anxiety Stage 5 of Amphetamine Use, The Procrastination - This Stage may or may not be experienced by amphetamine users. In this stage, the positive effects of amphetamine are almost absent if not completely gone, and the "coming up" of a dose of amphetamine is subsequently followed by an immediate barrage of negative effects (both physiological and psychological). The reason this phase is called "The Procrastination" is because the user forgets how unbearable the negative sensations are (due to amphetamine compromising the brain's ability to efficiently make memories, especially goal-orientated memories); by the next day, even though the user may have told himself to not take amphetamine, he takes amphetamine again anyways (due to the brain not being able to make a goal-orientated memory, the brain was unable to produce counter-motivation to stop the user from taking more amphetamine the next day). This might possibly be the most psychologically painful and strenuous phase for the amphetamine user, since he is unable to figure out why he keeps taking amphetamine even though he clearly knows it only causes him pain. Characteristic Effects: - Repeatedly taking amphetamine despite knowledge that it no longer gives the desired effects, and only causes negative effects. Stage 6 of Amphetamine Use, Irritability and Pessimism - This phase is characterized by extreme irritability. The user begins forgetting the drug is responsible for his negative feelings, and begins to blame things in the environment around them instead. The user begins to think that other people are responsible for how poorly he/she feels. The user might show hostility, or social withdrawal. The user also begins to develop an extremely pessimistic attitude towards life. Characteristic Effects of this Stage: - Acute Depression - Severe Anxiety - Irritability, even when the drug is out of the user's system - Psychosis - Inability to Sleep - Severe Restlessness - lack of willpower - Inability to find "the right choice of words" - Obsessive Thinking Stage 7 of Amphetamine use, Nihilism and Dissociation - During this phase, incidences of psychosis begin to emerge (if they haven't already) even if the drug user has been maintaining an adequate amount of sleep. The user usually becomes nihilistic, thinking that nothing in life matters or has meaning. Some users may even become solipsistic, which means they think that they are the only things which are real in the world. Solipsism is often accompanied by paranoia, or thinking that others only have the intention of harming the solipsistic individual. If the user had obtained any philosophical or metacognitive methods of thinking during the earlier stages of amphetamine use, those same metacognitive methods begin to eat away at the person's psyche. They feel as if they are helpless to do anything besides sit back and watch their mind become unravelled. Even if the user realizes that his irritable attitude towards other people isn't how he truly feels, he is unable to manage his irritability (most likely due to a complete diminishment of serotonin, as well as the brain's ability to make memories being compromised). The individual's ego may begin to deconstruct itself, and the user may have a feeling that they completely lack any willpower to do anything. This stage is also accompanied by a large amount of confusion. Characteristic Effects of this stage: - Confusion - Paranoia - Unbearable Depression and Anxiety - Delusions - Increased Incidences of Psychosis - Increasingly Painful Body Load - Lack of willpower - Cognition become confusing and incoherent. Users often claim things like their mind is "too loud", "jumping to false conclusions", or "doesn't make sense" and the user feels helpless to control this. - Panic Attacks become very prominent - Feelings of Deja Vu - If weight loss was experienced in beginning stages, it may come to a hault or even reverse into weight gain - Inability to experience pleasure - Akathisia - Feelings that an individual no longer has "free will" - Difficult to form coherent sentences and speak properly. Similar to "Clanging" or "Word Salad" experienced in schizophrenics. Stage 7b "Letting Go / Giving Up" - This stage is not always experienced, but in some instances after the user has experienced an excruciating and unbearable amount of anxiety and mental stress, he may experience a period of "Letting Go" in which the brain gives up on constructing/maintaining its deluded psychological structures. The negative effects of the drug temporarily fade, and the user has a "moment of peace". This temporary phase usually only lasts several hours (if not less) before the user returns to phase 7. Since the brain during this phase has completely abandoned any attempts to make goal orientated behaviour, the user may find it difficult (or simply not want to) to take care of themselves. However, during this phase, the user will find that they will actually be able to get to sleep, and they should take advantage of this temporary somnia to get sleep. I do not know what neurological mechanisms are responsible for this phase; it is almost as if it is the brain's last resort - to enter a careless and stressless stupor. Perhaps the brain releases endorphins in response to the unbearable anxiety? Characteristic Effects: - Stupor - Irresponsiveness - Carelessness - Ironically, if effects of "word salad" or "clanging" were experienced in stage 7, they are no longer as present in stage 7b. Stage 8, "The Stupor", Brain Damage - In this stage, amphetamine no longer gives effects, and the brain's desire for taking amphetamine (even if taking it has become a habit) begins to drop. As long as amphetamine use continues, the user makes no progress towards recovery of any sort. The individual is unresponsive and disconnected. Amphetamine has a tendency to make the user put too much effort into anything/everything, and this gives the brain not a single moment of psychological "rest" (where the individual doesn't think deeply). However, during this phase, it is quite the opposite - the individual's mind is in a prolonged state of resting and won't even follow through with the very act of thinking if the thought takes too much effort to think. During this phase, the user may have a steep decline in intelligence. Characteristic Effects: - Prolonged episodes of stupor and carelessness - Lethargy - Diminished Intelligence and mental efficiency - Irreversible Psychological Damage - Possible brain damage - The individual may develop a "permanent stuttering" which persists even after amphetamine has long since been ceased. - In a similar way that the stuttering develops, an individual may develop a possible permanent difficulty talking, using correct grammar and sentence structure, or expressing thoughts to others. In severe cases, this may even resemble a schizophrenic's clanging or word salad. - Essentially, the mind at this point is irreversibly compromised. The user's personality might have changed permanently. The individual may be much more easily irritated for the rest of his/her life. Cognitive functioning will never work the same as it used to. Although the user may make improvements and greatly recover, it will almost always seem like something "isn't right" in the mind, or that something is "missing". Individuals will still be able to lead fulfilling lives, and some may make amazing recoveries where they feel normal again like they did before they ever began using. Unfortunately, in severe cases, the individual may never be the same again.

How's it going, this is so hard

Messaged my doctor i no longer want a script, I'm in I'm finally on board

100% agree with that. Sometimes I look at him and it sounds like the person I married, looks like the person I married, but I know it's not. If he's normal and like his old self for a bit it's always fleeting. I just give it a a few days and I am dealing with a cruel, erratic, volatile person again. These pills can certainly ruin relationships. I have found so many posts on this site that I could've written because it's so eerily similar to my own story. Everyone has pretty much told me the same thing. This isn't rock bottom for him and he'll keep going until he does reach it, unfortunately. I just read your own story and wanted to say how sorry I am to hear about everything you've been through. That is truly horrific. I hope you also find happiness and are able to rebuild and heal your relationship with your kids. I hope your wife is able to get clean down the road. Congratulations on your job as well!

Thanks for posting this and giving me hope

Me, too!!

I don't know what is going on with me at this point. I’ve been off Adderall for approximately three months with the first two weeks being the worst. I am having anxiety on a daily basis. Of course my thoughts are to take a pill but I’m not going to throw away three months just to experiment. I have also taken benzos forever along with Adderall but didn't expect to need them when i quit adderall . Does anybody else experience anxiety after quitting adderall? Thanks for being here. This is the only place I trust that I will read actual experience of Adderall users..

Hi all, four months clean off of Adderall/Vyvanse after abusing it for the past 8 years. Not everyday, but when I did, I would go on extreme binges taking 30 mg of vyvanse every few hours for 24 hours straight, etc. or take 1/3 my adderall script in a night. I would doctor shop so my dose would change but I was always prescribed around 30 mg vyvanse and 20 mg XR adderall. i went to rehab and did the whole thing. I haven’t drank. I’m four months in, and now that I’m starting to untangle the mess of my life (facing financial matters I ignored for months, health appointments) …. I feel intense cravings. Likely due to the increased stress from financial struggles, returning to work earlier than expected due to expenses, and starting to isolate in my room again which is where I used to have binges. i am so tired and just wondering when it gets better and trying to tell myself I don’t want to restart my progress. But man if I could take adderall/vyv and respond to the 15+ people I have been neglecting, go through my mail, and set up all my doctor appts & be done… that would be great… or at least that’s what I keep thinking and I know that’s the addiction talking. It’s saying I could do that and then once I’m in a good place I could start recovery again. Idk. It’s tough not being responsive to friends virtually or in person (I have a friend who moved in my building as soon as I started recovery, bad timing). please any words of advice or wisdom or even just relating to me. TLDR: I don’t feel great at 4 months sobriety and social/financial demands are making me want to relapse

Thank you so much for everything you said. I actually thought about sharing my story, but I needed to get out a quick request for help and you really came through. you’re so right, sure maybe I’d get some stuff done for a few hours, but then, when it started to fade, I’d just stare at a to do list and crash/ take more to avoid crashing. And I’d be left picking up the pieces. thank you for sharing. Definitely will be reaching out, thank you for the warm welcome <3

Absolutely not. You have accumulated all those days off the drug rewiring your brain to form a different habit. Please don’t ever let anyone tell you that you’re back to square one!! Not true!

There is nothing wrong with taking energy supplements when you need a boost. Initially, I found a GNC energy pill with capsacain (pepper extract) to both give me the needed energy and replace the habit of taking drugs for pills. Adderall gives you the habit of taking pills throughout the day, which I found weirdly hard to break. Also, I used (sugar free) red bull, 5 hour energy, vitamin B-12, and any other non-amphetamine energy boosters during my first year of recovery. Whatever it takes to stay off the drug. Two months is a great start. I started feeling a little improvement around three months. Keep on going!

I tried to quit Adderall last year but couldn't make it more than a few months. I got back on it and was feeling disconnected from everything, this time I added daily xanax. I've been working out regularly, eating healthy, and taking a lot of daily supplements (N-Acetyl tyrosine, fish oil, vitamin D, Curcumin, Magnesium, Multi vitamins, CLA, tart cherry extract, CoQ10, PQQ, Lysine, Cruciferous Vegetable, and about 5-6 other supplements- each of those have many different neurotransmitters, minerals, and vitamins. Also recently added niacin, L-glutamine, Glycine). Nothing works like DL-phenylalanine. I've been dealing with extremely emotional trauma and have been questioning about the meaning of life. I couldn't see the point of life because we are all going to die anyway... I couldn't feel any pleasure in life.... everything was just blahs. Now I can see why people want to live- life is about feeling, pleasure, sensation. DLP makes me feel content, bliss, happy, satisfied, and reduces my chronic back pain (I normally take xanax for my back pain, hate pain killers because it makes dizzy/sick) I almost forgot what it felt like to be alive- the beautiful weather, soft comfortable blanket, the smell of flowers etc. I can sincerely laugh and be happy again. I feel love and peace in my heart. I know L-tyrosine takes less steps to convert to dopamine, but there is something about DL-phenylalanine...maybe it's the D-phenylalanine that coverts to phenylethylamine- the love chemical. I don't normally post but I am just so excited to be able to feel excited again!!!

Thank you! Really looking forward to feeling fully like myself again, hopefully someday soon.

congrats cheesy! soon you'll be celebrating two months!

Hi anyone here. It is March 15 2024 now, I quit January 19th. I have all those symptoms you described above. The weirdest thing is that I expected to be sleeping like a baby and tired and lethargic but i have non stop anxiety and can't sit still and cannot sleep without sleep aids, in my case, clonopan and gabapentin. So now I am going to have to go through literal hell to get off those demonic drugs. I would say I am mostly dysfunctional. I wasn't very functional before which is why I finally decided to quit for good. Adderall made me feel hopeful that I could be ok but I never actually read more, never did well at my social work job (documenting for hours and retyping sentences well into the night). Maybe this gets better later maybe not but I need some help, mostly getting shit done. Did NA have ideas for this? Thanks

Today marks my 8th month clean and tomorrow morning I'm going back to work for the first time in those 8 months. I'm nervous and excited at the same time, but I'm so glad to be getting back on my feet.

Hi @Krae19&@ALA. I have been clean since January 16th . I thought it was February but I had to look back at my texting and it was January 16th so I've been clean longer than I thought! I started in 2018 I believe. I was clean several years before that then started up again. I cleaned new construction for 20 years so it was my crutch. "I needed" it. I had to be a perfectionist at my job. It was taking a toll on my body. I am quite a bit older than you two and it is bad My arms were killing me my hands were stiff I ached all over, but I blamed the hard work I was doing I had high blood pressure I was on a mission to kill myself I guess. I just live in denial. When I don't take it I cry a lot I think I have gotten past that finally but when I would get back on it after quitting I would feel so on top of the world. In February 2019 we took on two little granddaughters 9 months and 2 So I retired from new construction cleaning and started over raising children. we were just at the beginning of remodeling our house and so we had a lot going on now we really have a lot going on so I kept taking it. Praise God after 3 years Mom really got her act together and now we're back to being Grandma and Grandpa. I also take care of my 38-year-old disabled son who requires 24-hour care I get paid to do that and I keep him 3 days a week 24-hour shift He's not too much work just mentally. He had a bad reaction to his DPT shots at 2 months and he's basically 9 months to2 years. He's nonverbal and can be aggressive. I am sorry I am writing a book I just get talking and I never quit. So I will quit rambling I can tell you more later anyway my point being I totally understand where you are coming from and why we do what we do. I am so glad to be clean but I miss it I don't want to do it again because I want to live to see my grandchildren grow up I am so glad I found this group because you guys all know where I'm coming from. My husband has a little bit of a hard time understanding it because he is not an addictive type person and I totally am. Okay I'm going to say goodnight for now. Please reach out to me if there's anything you would like to talk about. I have pretty much been there done that!!

Hi - I’m really in need of motivation from those who have been in long term sobriety from stimulant addiction. I had a year clean in 2017 after being in long term residential treatment. But since relapsing in 2018, I’ve really struggled getting back on track. I got 2 months clean this past fall, and then started thinking maybe I could take half a pill. Relapsed again, had to leave my sober living, and then here we go again. I’ve been to treatment a few times, also used to be very active in 12 step meetings, therapy, but can’t figure out why I want the drug so bad- even when my career and personal life have been on the line for years. Things got better during the year I had in sobriety, but I still had thoughts of being able to take it again successfully “one day.” I’m in the medical profession and have had thoughts of just leaving my profession, so I don’t “have” to remain abstinent. But I know deep down that’s crazy, and I really want a chance at freedom. I’ve had consequences, etc. I don’t know why it’s such a struggle for me. Anyone in long term sobriety, please...any advice or suggestions would help so much. Thank you!

I hit a horrible PAWS episode 30+ days of depression and isolation. IT finally lifted and I believe these supplements helped 1500 mg of Niacin ( no flush) 500 mg of glutathione +10 mg of NADH I'm 9 months and 21 days clean. I am also on the Keto diet (plant and meat ) for the last 60days. The healthiest version of it all organic etc. I still worked out 3-4 days a week even through this depression phase ( I was working out 5-6 days a week before) I feel as if I've been walking through honey all day in slow motion. Literally crying myself to sleep at night from exhaustion alone. About three days ago I started on the supplements. Today I feel like I'm waking up out of a coma. I'm sure others have tried this, but thought I'd share just in case. For the first time in 30+ days I have energy again and feel somewhat productive- feels like a mini miracle to me. I'm not sure which supplement is really affecting me the most. It may just be the niacin ( no flush). I just thought if it can help someone else it's worth writing about. Good luck and hope this helps someone.

Two years ago I was faced with these same exact concerns and questions. Quitting was the best thing I have ever done. I am truly happy in a way that I haven't been in since before I took this garbage medicine. Yes initially I felt like garbage, but every day I survived it got easier until I no longer felt bogged down. You don't know just how much you have to gain until you try.

thanks for this. hopefully I can quit soon.

Amazing post! I agree with all of your points and I am still going through many of the steps even at 16 months. It does get better if you commit to never touching Adderall again. It's a long and painful journey, but so worth it! Thanks again for an awesome post.

I needed to read this today! Its been 3.5 months and since I quit and I haven't been able to get back some of the things I use to love. Ive also gained 10 lbs which isn't helping with the depression. Anyway... thanks for the post. It's important that I remind myself this is temporary.

Hey gang, I was wondering if any of you take B12 (I know its a very common supplement to take) - probably most of you have it. I take it and have taken it for years and always feel nothing from it. I have done a little research on the topic and apparently B12 vitamins aren't as affective as everyone would wish and I kinda feel like it's pointless to even take this. I was thinking about going to get the shot of it but how long does it last? And how much does it cost? And going to the doctor how offend? So I found a B12 spray from Amazon called "B12 Boost" by SprayVit and like mint spray, you spray it on your tongue. I just got it today and I'm gonna try to out tomorrow and let y'all know what I think and if I feel a difference or a "boost." It is "supposed" to be even more effective than the shot - so they say. We'll see. A little over 2 months clean: I've been feeling really good lately, just a little spacey and sleepy still. I wrote my first poem last night (first poem without adderall). I have gone down to 10 hours of sleep instead of 12, sometimes. It's so odd because I have NEVER slept this much in my life and hate just not getting shit done like bam bam bam but I feel SO much better and happier without it. I'm getting a little bit of my hyperness back and ADHD pretty bad but I would rather have it be this way. And I'm excited about the future. No going back!

I just want to mention that there is no free lunch, ever.

I have also taken vyvanese....it acts on the brain just like all the other stimulants.. Like everyone said, you are replacing beer with wine. To beat this...u have to fully accept reality that you will have to go through a period of serious discomfort despite what else is going on in your life. Some people would call it detox...but necessary, can you honestly see your life going uphill from here with this problem in your life?

I absolutely love the new blueberry Red Bulls. I rarely drink them, because the brain is like a battery.. if you have a boost then it's going to leave you with a deficit. I always feel completely bland and out of it when they wear off, you always pay a price

Lest not forget what I think the first Truth of recovery should be, that it is impossible to replicate adderall naturally.

Emmapea, I agree with the Sky and Krax! But I definitely recommend getting outdoors as soon as you have some energy. I don't know where you live and what the weather is like, but there is just something about being in the outdoors that is revitalizing for the spirit - especially during the early stages of recovery. Just like Occasional mentioned above, I totally remember feeling the same way about being "too busy" for stuff like that. Nothing existed outside of my adderallic trance as far as I knew. The most important thing was maintaining that adderall high and laser sharp focus on whatever task I was doing at the moment. It's funny he brought this up today because I had a few bad weeks recently and had not been outdoors whatsoever. Today I finally got on my bike for the first time in months and it was AWESOME. Of course, it was like 70 degrees and all, but it was SO MUCH fun just riding around and listening to music. Definitely one of my favorite activities! But yeah, don't worry, your energy will come back...just give it time. Hugs!

Seriously? You've never watched Breaking Bad?? Duuuuude, better get on that right away.... anyone else a fan? I was taking a bunch of adderall when it first came out and hated to admit it that I felt sometimes like I knew what meth addiction really felt like. I think that's when I first realized I may have a problem with adderall.