BeHereNow

Ran 3 miles outside on the grass last nite-- I'm up to 7 miles and 15 push ups. That leaves 5 miles to go and 35 push ups. I really need a gym membership though, this heat wave is killing me!

I'm a huge fan of tricking myself into working. I tell myself I'm only going to do 5 or 10 minutes, and I tell myself it's going to be really easy. I usually end up doing a lot more than expected. Also, the 20 minute timer with 5 minute breaks works really well! I REALLY like the suggestion about imagining what will happen if I do nothing..... definitely gonna be using that one! Making everything as crappy as possible. It becomes a game to get something, anything done. If it's worth doing, then DO IT NOW!! Lately, I'm trying to start finding my deepest motivation in 100% pure love. Love for the goals I have set in front of me.

Sorry to hear about that ldmcniel. I hope things are getting better for you and so glad to hear you didn't relapse! I could totally see how that could happen. The return of emotions is insanely intense and pretty overwhelming--- I often find it really tough to deal with and I could see how it could lead to other effects. It depends on so many factors, brain chemistry, life history, prior traumas, adderall dosage and length on it, other meds, etc. But, I could see how various forms of psychosis, anxiety, bipolar tendencies, depression, and others could be possible long term results, some of which might have to do with the emotional suppression that took place. Makes sense. It's a serious drug, and numbing ourselves emotionally is a serious undertaking.

Just another trigger day. I'm really really sad about a few major life things I've been going through, and have been sad for like 3 weeks now. Found myself dreaming about adderall the other night, and wishing for some today. I just want to pop a huge handful of adderall, get that euphoria and fake self confidence, and not care anymore about the things that are making me sad. Then I remember (and remind myself of) Quit-Once's advice: It quit working for that too. Right? It loses its emotionally numbing effect over time. Too bad we can't go back in time to when it still worked for that..... but theres no turning back.

YUMM sugar! Haha! I'm with you! The only things that have worked for me are total abstinence.... or sticking to fruit only. Its an addiction too. If you find an answer please let us know!

Haha, I used to call it Andy! And yes, at first it was for occasional hardcore work. Then I started taking it just to get up in the morning, or to get literally ANYTHING done. I remember taking it before dyeing my hair and painting my nails one time........ wtf? Or another day I had a MAJOR life decision to make so I spent a whole weekend tweaked out writing lists of the pros and cons of each, as if adderall was making me more decisive (it made me sooo indecisive!) I started 'needing' it just to go grocery shopping, thrift shopping, to read poetry....... to make art. And yes whosthisguy I can definitely relate about the social setting..... I once had an important brunch to attend and spent a bunch of time obsessing over the 'right' dosages of adderall and xanax so I could be more 'interesting' but not overstimulated and also relaxed...... WOW. Yeah it's a crazy drug!

Good job friends!! Everything is OK and I did my 4 miles this morning. Had to walk some cause I'm supposed to ease into it, and cause it's freaking HOT out! Felt great tho! Updates?

I like that this undermines the usual idea that ADHD drugs help academically. The findings don't surprise me-- I do think we are ALL smarter when we're not taking these meds-- but I'm so happy to see this backed by studies! Thank you for sharing!

Still at 1 mile and found out today I have to do some dr related stuff that might affect my ability to do 6 miles today and tomorrow. Not sure, I'm just going to see how I'm feeling and what I can do. Gonna try for it! EDIT: I'm out of the running for this week. Dr said I can't run for 3-4 days. This is what I get for procrastinating. I'll be back in the club next week! And I'm soo proud of you all!!

Great week people!!! IR that article sounds great and definitely makes sense to me. Running also helped me quit smoking years ago. And actually helped me quit adderall the first time around. Quick update. Saturday night I sprinted one mile (and walked another) and did 20 push ups. It isn't much but in the moment I just felt inspired to push myself to go hard and fast for a short time. Anyone else?

Yeah Ashley!! GET IT GIRL!!

I've been just running around the neighborhoods near my house so no driving involved. The trails are like 10 minutes away so it's kind of special to go there, but so worth it. I bet you have some trails nearby, like in a park somewhere...? Nothing motivates me to keep going like the beauty of being out in nature.

I learned how to do planks in physical therapy years ago and it changed my life! It's harder than it looks and kind of torturous, but it WORKS. You can do sets of 10 seconds each, or you can hold for a minute or two, or whatever. I recommend working your way up. Side planks:

25 miles!! IR that's so badass! I can't wait to get back to that point. I used to do triathalons and climb mountains and stuff before adderall took over my life and I want to get that fitness level back. Anyways, I was a little worried about getting to 12 miles by Friday because I was originally off on the weekly start/end days. BUT today I woke up at 5 am with a bunch of anxiety and took it all out on running those last 4 miles!! It's official, that's 12.3 miles! Also did about an hour of swimming in a lake yesterday (probably like a mile?), paddleboarding for a half hour (SOO fun and a great full body workout), and also hula hooped for a half hr or so. Today I still plan to get those other 25 push ups so I can reach 50 for the week. FEELING GREAT!

Happy 4th!!! Looking back on previous years...... No doubt I would have spent the day tweaking and being boring, as I have spent the 4th for the past few years. Compared to TODAY I made the effort to reach out to friends and spend the day on a beautiful lake beach, relaxing, laughing, hardcore swimming, got to try paddleboarding which I've wanted to try for years!!, watching fireworks, fireflies, hanging out on a back porch, drinking beers and making delicious food. So fun, and such a fuller life experience than I've had on any 4th I can remember in years. Days like today, compared to my adderall years, I remember how happy I am to be human again. Anyone else?

Hey Evie, Congrats on 4 months! I think heightened emotional sensitivity is completely normal when coming off adderall. Adderall dulls your emotions, good and bad. I relate to everything you're saying! I'm extra sensitive to everything, good and bad. I cry and laugh really easily now, MUCH easier than before I went on it. When bad stuff happens or people are mean, it's REALLY bad..... And when it's good, it's REALLY good. So, I try really hard to stay positive, to focus on what's good and to do things that make me happy, to stay around positive people, and laugh often. I try to make the increased emotions work to my advantage. But like you, I'm starting to realize that sad days and tough life events and mean people are my biggest triggers. It's not even about being productive anymore, it's about missing that emotional numbness. (Also the fake self confidence that makes it easier to say fuck it all!) On the one hand, I think that mourning your ex is probably a healthy thing because that way you can actually work through those emotions rather than stifling them. It will help you move on in the long run. That said, it's not healthy to dwell too much in the bad stuff either. Work through it, but don't let it ruin your life! Since both good and bad are sensitized, you can try to work this to your advantage. You are capable of new levels of fun and happiness that were impossible on adderall. So, I have to agree with Cassie: a new romance could be just what you need! (I took that route and it has helped me immensely through my post-adderall breakup.) And on top of that: FUN THINGS! Being social, playing outside, live music and dancing, things like your vacay to Colorado. I find that making an effort to do fun things that make me happy helps a lot. Sometimes I have to force myself, but it's worth it. I think and hope that if we just keep moving forward, things will get better and more stable Time heals. And anyways it's soo much better to be experiencing a human life than to live in the dull emotionless zombie-land of adderall. <3

OK! Just did my same 4.13 mile outdoor route which brings me to about 8.25 miles this week. Getting there! There is NO WAY I would have done this tonight if it wasn't for joining the 12 miles a week club!!!

I'm open minded! It depends on the exercises. I like the weekly measurable goal idea, so for something like crunches or push ups we can measure it by #. For other exercises it might be better measured by time spent. Let me know what your friends say! I'm thinking: 12+ miles of running 50-100 push ups 100-200 crunches (could also include obliques, etc) and/or 3-5 minutes total of planks 2 hours of something else (like swimming, weights, hiking, biking, cleaning, or whatever we want.) Overly ambitious?

I feel the same way Ashley, I need to do way more with my core. Let's do it all! What kind of abs stuff do you like? I'm into planks (side planks and regular), and push ups, and also hula hooping, and occasionally crunches on the balance ball, which I should do a lot more often. Maybe we could get a core/ab goal per week going! Just did 25 push ups on my push up bars. I'm officially setting a personal goal of 100 per week. We keep this up and we will be soooo fit by the end of the summer!

It might sound a little cliche but BELIEVE IT lady, you are alive on this planet and you get to create the life you always wanted. Quitting is going to be a challenging journey towards that vision, but if you stay focused on all those dreams for the life you've always want for yourself, then that will trump any speed drugs that take away from who you really are. I'm confident you can get there! It gets better, SO MUCH BETTER! <3

Good job IR and Ashley!!! I'm excited to be joining this and it will definitely hold me accountable for sure since it's already going to be a stretch to get those miles in! Any interest in a push-up club? Like 50 or 100 push ups a week? I'll probably add that to my 12 miles of running for core, back and upper body. Time to get back on it. Let's get this!!!

Are you seeing a therapist at all? Sometimes anxiety has sources that are hard to pin down, but maybe a therapist could help you get to the source of the issues. Benzos are mainly good for the symptoms but they don't get to the source unless you take them while working through the issues causing the anxiety itself.

OK wait, when does the week start/end here? My DailyMile calculates from Monday till Sunday....

Just did 4.13 miles. Night running outside, mostly on the grass next to the sidewalks. YEAH! I like trail running the best. Maybe that will be for tomorrow or Wed.

I think 6 months is still pretty early. I'm at 6 months too and I'm still on the damn roller coaster. Sebastian did your dr recommend any other antidepressants? It sounds like you have a good and supportive doctor, which is pretty enviable actually. I know Wellbutrin works differently than other antidepressants, so maybe that's just not the right one for you? Supposedly Lexapro is good for depression and anxiety and starts working pretty quickly..... I tried it for 2 days and felt a little more stable in that time, though supposedly it takes a few weeks. Maybe it or something else could help you. I feel like maybe you should keep working with your dr. to figure out what's up, or what could help you through this adderall recovery so you don't have to keep suffering so much.